Ghostkeeper (1981)
Rubbish, incoherent horror nonsense
11 January 2004
I must have missed something in this flick, because half the time you don't know what the hells going on. We have a young couple on holiday in some snowy mountain region of Canada, accompanied by a sluttish friend of theirs who has the hots for the man. One day they are out on their jet-skis when suddenly their machines pack out!! Oh no!! Luckily for them, there's a long abandoned old hotel nearby, presided over by a mad old bat with two sons.. one a creepy David-Blaine look-alike, the other a flesh eating monster. Despite the place being creepier than the Bates motel, they end up spending the night there and the blood really starts to ooze.. at least that's what the back of the video says because I can't for the life of me figure out where the ugly chap as depicted on the front cover is supposed to be, the so-called terrifying freak in this is a rubbish actor who walks with a stoop and is only ever sighted in total darkness so to hide the poor make-up job. And as for the promise of gore, don't make me laugh!! There is less than half-a-dozen killings in the film, all achieved with the minimum of exposure and some you don't see at all. The acting is universally diabolical, But special mention must go to the old witch whose crackly voice is so over-the-top and irritating you'll be reaching for the mute button in minutes. On a side note, I know in a film this bad some geek-boys will be after a bit of nudity to liven things up, and there is one bath scene that seems initially promising. But when our heroine leans back in the tub (After supposedly stripping totally naked) there is a large white strip of material covering her front!! Doh!! Not only is this a total let-down, but also a glaring continuity error. So put it together, and what have we got? No thrills, spills or indeed chills of any description, an awful screenplay, laughable performances and a copious lack of flesh = a sorry piece of trash that should be avoided at all costs. Don't expect this one to get a DVD release anytime soon. Oh and one last thing.. The ending is one giant UH?!
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