My long-standing unusual relationship with Charlize Theron
has been well documented on this website. For those flabbergasted, that I, a 5'9'' (Not 5'8'' as some would have you believe) nebbishy dork could have any kind of a rapport with one of the most desirable women on the planet, well in most cases you'd be right. But doesn't the fact that we have something, anything, give all of us hope? Dreams can come true, my friends.
To bring most of you up to speed, here's all you need to know from my previous four interviews with Charlize. A) she likes to call me really vulgar things. B) we have enjoyed chatting about "The Hills
" ever since I once made her look like "a nana" for not knowing anything about the MTV cash cow. C) she's just generally awesome, flirty, saucy, and fun.
The below came on the red carpet