Fifty Shades Of Grey: 10 Things That Make Absolutely No Sense Whatsoever


It’s the cinematic experience that’s taking audiences across its knee and lightly smacking them a few times to titters and giggles, the debatably anticipated adaptation of E.L. JamesFifty Shades of Grey has arrived in theatres worldwide.

Just like Rosé is simply wine for people who don’t actually drink wine, and the band Pendulum are drum and bass for people who don’t actually listen to drum and bass, Fifty Shades has brought Bdsm to an audience who once attended an Ann Summers party, laughed awkwardly at everything in the catalogue, and still have the free sachet of lubricant at the back of a drawer two years later.

Despite every critic taking their own personal riding crop to both the script and the story, audiences have flocked to see it en masse and given it one of the largest opening weekends in movie history. That might not make sense,
See full article at Obsessed with Film »

Strictly Come Dancing 2014: week two as it happens

A glorious two hours and 10 minutes of Strictly awaits us! The first elimination takes place in Sundays results show, so who will be the first contestant to leave the competition?

7.59pm BST

So thats it for Week 2! Ill be back at 6.30pm next Saturday for Movie Week, which is basically an excuse for the fancy dress department to go more berserk than usual. Also Donny Osmond is guest judge, because he is an expert in both a) dancing and b) movies. Probably.

Thank you for joining in with all your brilliant comments come and say hi on Twitter @heidistephens if youre passing, and dont forget the Final Great British Bake Off liveblog on Wednesday. If thats not your tea and cake, Ill see you here next week! Cheers, Hx

7.57pm BST

Judges verdict Craig says both couples improved enormously, and saves Jennifer and Tristan. Same for Darcey and Bruno, and Len would have done likewise.
See full article at The Guardian - TV News »

First Fifty Shades Of Grey Trailer Arrives

First Fifty Shades Of Grey Trailer Arrives
If a trailer could purr this first promo spot for Sam Taylor-Wood’s adaption of Fifty Shades Of Grey would have the market cornered. Here at Empire we’re all about celebrating the wait, and fans of E. L. James’ novel will share that tingle as they clap (wrong word) eyes on the story’s two leads, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey for the first time proper. Beyoncé provides the breathy vocals. brightcove.createExperiences();Steele, played by newcomer Dakota Johnson, is the heroine of the piece. She’s a journalist in the very best traditions of Jackie Collins: timid but with barely-repressed eroticism pulsing beneath the mousey fringe, and she quickly finds it un-repressed by her magnetic interviewee. Wait until he finds out she’s actually the Fake Sheik.Channelling early ‘80s Michael Douglas is Jamie Dornan as the sexy tycoon, a bajillionaire who's clearly spent a healthy proportion
See full article at EmpireOnline »

Eurovision 2014 - Conchita wins: As it happened

Turn off that Abba CD, dig out your cheapest bottle of booze and prepare yourselves for some bearded drag queens, saucy Polish ladies and the most barking mad stage designs that Europe has to offer.

Eurovision, the nuttiest night of television every year, is back and this year promises to be an absolute corker.

Eurovision is no fun on your own, so we'll be here all evening live-blogging the best, the worst and the weirdest acts that those crazy Europeans have to offer.

23:30So, it's Austria 2015. Bring. It. On. We're off to tuck into a Curly Wurly cake. We hope you enjoyed the evening. See you next year.

23:29"We Are Unstoppable!" A lovely end to another crazy show from Eurovision as Conchita dedicates her award to everyone who wants peact. It all gets a bit political, but in a nice way. It's truly heartwarming stuff.

23:28But it's not about Molly tonight.
See full article at Digital Spy - TV news »

Now, 'ultimate G Vibrator' that gives women 'third-level' orgasms!

Washington, January 18: A U.K. sex toy retailer has come up with the ultimate vibrator that would target the 'G-spot' and would give women a 'third-level' orgasm.

The 'Ultimate G Vibrator', which costs 106 dollars and has been designed by Ann Summers, has the main shaft with multiple pleasure bumps targeting the G-spot directly, Huffington Post reported.

The vibrator also has twin outer arms that would focus on the inner clitoris.

Summer's website has claimed that this device has been designed by medical experts to take a woman to the third level of orgasm and pleasure. (Ani)
See full article at RealBollywood »

Now Casting ‘Steel Magnolias’ and Other Upcoming Auditions

The Judson Theatre Company in New York is seeking talent to fill five roles in its production of “Steel Magnolias.” This is a paid gig! Dawn Wells (Mary Ann Summers from “Gilligan’s Island” has already accepted a role in the show.) “Steel Magnolias” is the story of a close-knit circle of friends who come together at Truvy’s Beauty Parlor in Louisiana on the day of Shelby’s wedding. Shelby is sick with diabetes, and months later, begins showing signs of kidney failure after delivering a healthy baby boy. The comedy-drama has six main roles. Rehearsals for the production will begin March 17, and the play will run March 27-30. For more details, check out the casting notice for “Steel Magnolias” here, and be sure to check out the rest of our audition listings!
See full article at Backstage »

'.Gilligan's Island'. Movie Starring & Written By Josh Gad In The Works

Josh Gad plans on co-writing and starring in a movie adaptation of 60s TV show Gilligan’s Island.

Josh Gad Making 'Gilligan's Island' Movie

Gad will get help on the script with 1600 Penn’s Benji Samit and Dan Hernandez. Producing the film will be Gilligan’s Island show creator Sherwood Schwartz’s two sons – Lloyd Schwartz and Ross Schwartz.

While Gad will definitely have a part in the movie, it has yet to be announced which character the actor will take on.

The original Gilligan’s Island premiered in 1964 and followed a group of seven men and women who were stranded out at sea on an unknown island after getting shipwrecked in a storm. The survivors of the S.S. Minnow – Gilligan (Bob Denver), The Skipper (Alan Hale, Jr.), Thurston Howell III (Jim Backus), Lovey Howell (Natalie Schafer), Ginger Grant (Tina Louise), Professor Roy Hinkley (Russell Johnson) and
See full article at Uinterview »

'Rabbi sex toy' creates row between Jewish designer and lingerie firm

London, Oct 6: A "Rampant Rabbit" sex toy has sparked a feud between its Jewish designer and lingerie giant Ann Summers.

Shed Simove designed the hand-crafted silicone sex toy in the form of a rabbi and sells it on his website for 99 pounds.

The designer from south London claims it is aimed at "the modern Jewish woman" and provides a "religious experience" for users.

However, Ann Summers claim the name could be confused with the its own Rampant Rabbit sex toy, the Daily Star reported.

Simove has said his local trading standards office rejected his application after Ann Summers' complaints, but is adamant.
See full article at RealBollywood »

Downton Abbey: a cosy pocket of sameness

As the series reaches its midpoint a quick appraisal of the boot-lickers belowstairs, the hapless toffs above and the arch bastards all over the place

Why anyone bothers with calendars when Downton Abbey (Sunday, 9pm, ITV) exists is a mystery. Its arrival on the TV schedules signifies the long, dark trudge towards winter better than browning leaves, increased carb intake or disregard for leg-hair maintenance. As we ease into series four, not much has changed in this drama, which is the whole point. It wouldn't wash over you like a nice relaxing dose of smack if it wasn't a cosy pocket of sameness. The Abbey itself is a massive bloody monolith, unmovable by the pace of time, which we're frequently reminded is break-neck, usually with a prophetic pantomime wink to camera.

We rejoined Downton six months after Matthew jollily drove down that country road, smashed into a jolly big van and jolly well pegged it.
See full article at The Guardian - TV News »

Cate Blanchett says equality for women is being lost

Cate Blanchett says equality for women is being lost
London, Sep 18: Cate Blanchett has confessed that she is concerned about the current role of women in the society.

The Oscar-winning actress told Sky News that she believes that a wave of conservatism is sweeping the globe and affecting the status of women.

Blanchett said that she is currently reading 'The Misogyny Factor' by Ann Summers, and feels that a lot of the steps that the society has taken have been rescinded.

The 'Blue Jasmine' star said that conservatism is also affecting the way women perceive themselves in the world. (Ani)
See full article at RealBollywood »

Top Five Naughtiest Celebrity Dresses This Year 2013

  • ShockYa
With the back-to-school season in full swing, and students scrambling to get the latest fashions as they begin their assignments again, learning how to save money on clothes is one of the most important lessons of the year. Ann Summers, one of Britain’s leading retail companies, is helping teach how to get the latest must-have fashions. With Ann Summers Voucher Codes on Voucher King, one of the U.K.’s leading voucher websites, students can get exclusive Ann Summers vouchers and discount codes for the latest fashions. To go along with Ann Summers’ lingerie department, shoppers can use the voucher codes to emulate the top five naughtiest celebrity dresses this year. Mila [ Read More ]

The post Top Five Naughtiest Celebrity Dresses This Year 2013 appeared first on
See full article at ShockYa »

Geordie Shore returns: The most outrageous quotes from the new series

Streuth! - The drunken tashin'-on-machines that are the Geordie Shore crew are about to hit Australia for the MTV show's sixth scandalous series, which begins tonight at 10pm.

Digital Spy were 'lucky' enough to get an advance screening of the opening episode and we can confirm that Vicky, Gaz and co are as eloquent and refined as ever. Here are some of our favourite soundbites from the Geordie premiere. And may God have mercy on us all...

"The Geordies are going Down Under and deep into the bush."

Well, at least that joke's out of the way nice and early.

"Me hair's going to run, I'm going to look like I've got period on me face."

Only on Geordie Shore would this be one's primary concern when it starts to rain.

"The shag pad is the best shag pad we've ever had. You can give them all that romantic s
See full article at Digital Spy - TV news »

Brit 'virgin lady' designs sex toys and uses them

London, Jun 23: A girl from Chester, UK, who has not lost her virginity, has been designing sex toys for sex shop Ann Summers, for the past one year.

Rebecca Rielly, who suffers from rheumatoid arthritis now has a boyfriend and says that she has even started using some of the toys.

The 22-year-old said that she wrote on her application that she was a virgin and had never used sex toys before, the Mirror reported.

And within days she was asked to come to London, where firm's boss Jacqueline Gold asked her to show them something that made her feel sexy.

Rebecca chose a bottle of her favourite fragrance, Heat by singer.
See full article at RealBollywood »

Big Brother 2013 launch ratings down on last year for Channel 5

Big Brother 14's ratings were down on last year's launch, according to overnight figures.

Channel 5's latest edition of the longrunning reality series was seen by 1.99 million viewers (9.3%) at 9pm, with a further 146,000 (0.9%) tuning in on +1. This is down 600k from the 2011 and 2012 editions.

Big Brother's Bit on the Side attracted 744k (5.8%) at 10.30pm (101k/1.6% on +1). Earlier, William and Kate: Baby Makes Three was seen by 998k (4.4%) at 8pm.

On BBC One, new documentary series Life Savers brought in 2.71m (12.1%) at 9pm. Question Time interested 2.36m (19.5%) at 10.35pm.

BBC Two's Springwatch continued with 2.74m (12.1%) at 8pm. A Horizon special featuring cats with cameras was the most-watched show outside of soaps with 4.90m (22.0%) at 9pm.

Mock the Week returned for a new series with 2.49m (12.6%) at 10pm.

On ITV, Paul O'Grady's For the Love of Dogs was up 300k from last week to 4.44m (19.7%) at 8.30pm (296k/1.3%). New reality
See full article at Digital Spy - TV news »

Mindy Newell: Slayers, Swans, And Hunters

  • Comicmix
I was thinking about heroines the other day, which led to thinking about fictional role models for girls and young women growing up over the last twenty years or so. Role models which, I think, have reflected the way American society thought about women during that same time period. Heroines and role models with the names Buffy Summers, Bella Swan, and Katniss Everdeen. On March 10, 1997, a series called Buffy The Vampire Slayer debuted on the fledging WB Network. I thought it was based on the schlock movie of the same name that had come and gone in the theatres and occasionally popped up on the TV screen at 3 A.M. So I ignored it, even though, as a credentialed geek, I loved anything to do with gothic horror and vampires. But word of mouth and e-buzz finally got me to tune in sometime in the summer of 1997, when I caught a rerun.
See full article at Comicmix »

Machete Kills Debuts New Poster

Machete Kills Debuts New Poster
Subtlety, thy name is not Machete Kills. But to be honest, did anyone expect Robert Rodriguez to turn his sequel to 2010’s Mexploitation film into a quiet affair where Danny Trejo enjoys cocktails quietly while lounging by a sparkling pool? Nope! Check out the latest poster for the sequel. That would be Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara sporting just the latest in a line of Rodriguez’ violent body modification, following in the grand tradition of Tom Savini’s crotch gun in From Dusk Till Dawn and Rose McGowan’s shotgun leg in Planet Terror. Wonder if Ann Summers will be looking to do a tie-in range.... As for the film, the plot finds Danny Trejo’s titular troublemaker battling his way through Mexico to take down an arms dealer who is making serious threats. The cast includes Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Alexa Vega, Charlie Sheen, Vanessa Hudgens,
See full article at EmpireOnline »

Modern Family Cast Poses as Old TV Favorites

Modern Family Cast Poses as Old TV Favorites
Hold the laugh track!

Modern Family is already a TV classic – but members of its cast are looking to the past and paying homage to iconic shows in a new photo. In this exclusive shot, the ensemble from ABC's Emmy-winning hit comedy takes on the personas (in full hair and makeup) of beloved characters from 60-plus years of classic sitcoms. For fuller-sized images, click through the carousel of photos above.

Who among these was your favorite?

. The Honeymooners: In the early '50s, Jackie Gleason's Brooklyn bus driver Ralph Kramden and his sewer-worker neighbor and pal Ed Norton
See full article at - TV Watch »

Modern Family Cast Poses as Old TV Favorites

Modern Family Cast Poses as Old TV Favorites
Hold the laugh track! Modern Family is already a TV classic - but members of its cast are looking to the past and paying homage to iconic shows in a new photo. In this exclusive shot, the ensemble from ABC's Emmy-winning hit comedy takes on the personas (in full hair and makeup) of beloved characters from 60-plus years of classic sitcoms. Who among these was your favorite? • The Honeymooners: In the early '50s, Jackie Gleason's Brooklyn bus driver Ralph Kramden and his sewer-worker neighbor and pal Ed Norton (Art Carney) were the fateful Everymen under the thumbs of their spouses.
See full article at »

TV highlights 27/06/2012

  • The Guardian - TV News
America Revealed: Nation On The Move | Cherry Healey: How To Get A Life | The Strange Case Of The Law | The Secret History Of Our Streets | The Killing

America Revealed: Nation On The Move

7.50pm, PBS

Presenter Yul Kwon examines the various networks that operate like the blood circulation of the Us, meeting the operatives who keep the systems going, as well as commuters such as a rather unwell-looking salesman who travels thousands of miles each week by plane. However, as the programme makes clear, America's transport networks are in dire need of renewal, which, in an era of hostility to public spending, presents a challenge. David Stubbs

Cherry Healey: How To Get A Life

9pm, BBC3

This week, Healey giggles her way through a quest into modern life entitled Are We All Addicts? It's a groundbreaking investigative journey where she repeatedly shouts "Your trousers are on
See full article at The Guardian - TV News »

ABC Radio to celebrate indigenous talent in week long broadcast

ABC Radio will put new indigenous talent on its special events digital radio station ABC Naidoc in a week long celebration of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander culture.

The announcement:

July 2 – 6, 2012

ABC Radio will celebrate Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander culture by introducing fresh Indigenous voices to the airwaves on the special events digital radio station – ABC Naidoc.

The week-long broadcast will showcase new Indigenous talent from around Australia, including Carly Wallace on Breakfast (Cairns) and the stars of tomorrow selected from ABC Radio’s Indigenous broadcasters, plus students from Brisbane’s 4Aaa and a desert-island disc show hosted by David Page. For a more detailed run-down of station highlights, see below.

“ABC Naidoc on digital radio gives us a great opportunity to develop our exciting new Indigenous talent on a national stage,” James O’Brien, Manager, Network Development, ABC Local Radio, said. “Carly Wallace, the first Indigenous graduate from Aftrs,
See full article at Encore Magazine »
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