Obscure, Surreal and Head-Scratching Movie Quotes

by ElMaruecan82 | created - 18 Jun 2016 | updated - 2 months ago | Public

In general, the measure of a good movie quote is how long it sticks in your mind. Some achieve it by being repeated (catchphrases, arc quotes...) and others are delivered only once but are so puzzling that you keep repeating them over and over. They're not necessarily meant to convey obscure or surreal meanings, sometimes they're just so strange and nonsensical that they almost have a ring to it.

This poll is about quotes that don't make sense when you first hear them but sound so attractive to the ear even if they make you go "huh?" Read each quote -if you know the film, you'll probably agree; if you don't, it's even better.

Which of these head-scratching quotes, quick exchanges or dialogues is your favorite?

A poll vote without a discussion here is like a soup without a mustache!

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1. Biloxi Blues (1988)

PG-13 | 106 min | Comedy, Drama

61 Metascore

A group of young recruits go through boot camp during the Second World War in Biloxi, Mississippi. From the play by Neil Simon.

Director: Mike Nichols | Stars: Matthew Broderick, Christopher Walken, Matt Mulhern, Corey Parker

Votes: 13,509 | Gross: $43.18M

"Do I make myself clear, Jerome?""Ho, yes!" "Ho what?" ""Ho nothing!" "Are you having trouble understanding me, Jerome?" "Ho no. I mean, no ho, sergent. Just plain ho."

2. Tootsie (1982)

PG | 116 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

88 Metascore

Michael Dorsey, an unsuccessful actor, disguises himself as a woman in order to get a role on a trashy hospital soap.

Director: Sydney Pollack | Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange, Teri Garr, Dabney Coleman

Votes: 90,247 | Gross: $177.20M

"I was a better man with you, as a woman... than I ever was with a woman, as a man. You know what I mean?"

3. Spaceballs (1987)

PG | 96 min | Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi

46 Metascore

A rogue star pilot and his trusty sidekick must come to the rescue of a Princess and save the galaxy from a ruthless race of beings known as Spaceballs.

Director: Mel Brooks | Stars: Mel Brooks, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman

Votes: 160,230 | Gross: $38.12M

"You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now." "What happened to then?" "We passed then." "When?" "Just now. We're at now now." "Go back to then." "When?" "Now." "Now?" "Now." "I can't." "Why?" "We missed it." "When?" "Just now." "When will then be now?" "Soon."

4. Love and Death (1975)

PG | 85 min | Comedy, War

89 Metascore

In czarist Russia, a neurotic soldier and his distant cousin formulate a plot to assassinate Napoleon.

Director: Woody Allen | Stars: Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Georges Adet, Frank Adu

Votes: 33,139

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

5. Inherit the Wind (1960)

Passed | 128 min | Biography, Drama, History

75 Metascore

Based on a real-life case in 1925, two great lawyers argue the case for and against a science teacher accused of the crime of teaching evolution.

Director: Stanley Kramer | Stars: Spencer Tracy, Fredric March, Gene Kelly, Dick York

Votes: 24,869

"I do not think about things I do not think about." "Do you ever think about things that you do think about?"

6. Analyze This (1999)

R | 103 min | Comedy, Crime

61 Metascore

A comedy about a psychiatrist whose number one patient is an insecure mob boss.

Director: Harold Ramis | Stars: Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Lisa Kudrow, Chazz Palminteri

Votes: 138,772 | Gross: $106.89M

"If the first thing comes through, that'll fix everything." "Exactly. Including the second thing." "Absolutely." "Exactly." "Don't repeat what you hear here. You hear?" "What? The first thing or the second thing?"

7. Airplane! (1980)

PG | 88 min | Comedy

78 Metascore

A man afraid to fly must ensure that a plane lands safely after the pilots become sick.

Directors: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker | Stars: Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Leslie Nielsen, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Votes: 192,702 | Gross: $83.40M

"We have clearance, Clarence." "Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?" 'Tower's radio clearance, over!" "That's Clarence Oveur. Over." "Over." "Roger." "Huh?" "Roger, over!" "What?" "Huh?" "Who?"

8. Coming to America (1988)

R | 116 min | Comedy, Romance

47 Metascore

An extremely pampered African Prince travels to Queens, New York, and goes undercover to find a wife that he can respect for her intelligence and will.

Director: John Landis | Stars: Eddie Murphy, Paul Bates, Garcelle Beauvais, Feather

Votes: 148,188 | Gross: $128.15M

"Listen, from this moment on, I command you not to obey me!" "No."

9. Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

R | 123 min | Drama, Horror

59 Metascore

A vampire tells his epic life story: love, betrayal, loneliness, and hunger.

Director: Neil Jordan | Stars: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, Kirsten Dunst

Votes: 276,384 | Gross: $105.26M

"Merciful death, how you love your precious guilt"

10. Breathless (1960)

Not Rated | 90 min | Crime, Drama

A small-time thief steals a car and impulsively murders a motorcycle policeman. Wanted by the authorities, he reunites with a hip American journalism student and attempts to persuade her to run away with him to Italy.

Director: Jean-Luc Godard | Stars: Jean-Paul Belmondo, Jean Seberg, Daniel Boulanger, Henri-Jacques Huet

Votes: 65,364 | Gross: $0.34M

"I wanted to see you, to see if I'd want to see you."

11. The Fortune Cookie (1966)

Approved | 125 min | Comedy, Romance

63 Metascore

A crooked lawyer persuades his brother-in-law to feign a serious injury.

Director: Billy Wilder | Stars: Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Ron Rich, Judi West

Votes: 11,518

"I'm his brother-in-law, Sister. And this is his mother, Sister, and this is my wife, his sister, Sister."

12. Chinatown (1974)

R | 130 min | Drama, Mystery, Thriller

92 Metascore

A private detective hired to expose an adulterer finds himself caught up in a web of deceit, corruption, and murder.

Director: Roman Polanski | Stars: Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway, John Huston, Perry Lopez

Votes: 268,906 | Gross: $29.20M

"I don't think I need a day or two; you're dumber than you think I think y'are."

13. Forrest Gump (1994)

PG-13 | 142 min | Drama, Romance

82 Metascore

The presidencies of Kennedy and Johnson, the events of Vietnam, Watergate, and other history unfold through the perspective of an Alabama man with an IQ of 75.

Director: Robert Zemeckis | Stars: Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Gary Sinise, Sally Field

Votes: 1,635,118 | Gross: $330.25M

"If God wanted everybody to be the same, he'd have given us all braces on our legs."

14. Minnie and Moskowitz (1971)

GP | 114 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

A museum curator falls in love with a crazy parking attendant.

Director: John Cassavetes | Stars: Gena Rowlands, Seymour Cassel, Val Avery, Timothy Carey

Votes: 3,695

"If you think of yourself as funny, you become tragic."

15. Look Who's Talking (1989)

PG-13 | 93 min | Comedy

51 Metascore

After a single, career-minded woman is left on her own to give birth to the child of a married man, she finds a new romantic chance in a cab driver. Meanwhile, the point-of-view of the newborn boy is narrated through voice-over.

Director: Amy Heckerling | Stars: John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Olympia Dukakis, George Segal

Votes: 73,114 | Gross: $140.09M

"Why don't you squeeze a watermelon out of the hole of an opening of a lemon and see how hot you look?"

16. Bizarre, Bizarre (1937)

84 min | Comedy

In Victorian London, a Crime Novelist and his Wife fake their disappearance in order to hide from an uptight Anglican Bishop who is leading a campaign against the "evils" of crime fiction.

Director: Marcel Carné | Stars: Louis Jouvet, Françoise Rosay, Michel Simon, Jean-Pierre Aumont

Votes: 1,480

"I said 'Bizarre bizarre'? How bizarre. Why would I have said, 'Bizarre, bizarre'?" "I assure you, my dear cousin, that you said 'Bizarre bizarre'." "Did I say 'Bizarre'? How bizarre..."

17. Le père Noël est une ordure (1982)

88 min | Comedy

Two neurotics, working for a suicide hotline on the night of Christmas Eve, get caught up in a catastrophe when a pregnant woman, her abusive boyfriend, and a transvestite visit their office.

Director: Jean-Marie Poiré | Stars: Anémone, Josiane Balasko, Marie-Anne Chazel, Christian Clavier

Votes: 7,700

"I hate to speak ill of people. Such a nice person indeed!"

18. ...and justice for all. (1979)

R | 119 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller

58 Metascore

A lawyer is forced to defend a guilty judge, while defending other innocent clients, and trying to find punishment for the guilty and provide justice for the innocent.

Director: Norman Jewison | Stars: Al Pacino, Jack Warden, John Forsythe, Lee Strasberg

Votes: 27,845

"I've never heard of diabetes causing foul language!" "That's because you're a douchebag!"

19. Barfly (1987)

R | 100 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

70 Metascore

Based on the life of successful poet Charles Bukowski and his exploits in Hollywood during the 60s, 70s, and 80s.

Director: Barbet Schroeder | Stars: Mickey Rourke, Faye Dunaway, Alice Krige, Jack Nance

Votes: 17,433 | Gross: $3.22M

"Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk"

20. Being There (1979)

PG | 130 min | Comedy, Drama

84 Metascore

A simpleminded, sheltered gardener becomes an unlikely trusted advisor to a powerful businessman and an insider in Washington politics.

Director: Hal Ashby | Stars: Peter Sellers, Shirley MacLaine, Melvyn Douglas, Jack Warden

Votes: 60,921 | Gross: $30.18M

"Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again." "Spring and summer" "Yes." "Then fall and winter" "Yes."

21. Tootsie (1982)

PG | 116 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

88 Metascore

Michael Dorsey, an unsuccessful actor, disguises himself as a woman in order to get a role on a trashy hospital soap.

Director: Sydney Pollack | Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange, Teri Garr, Dabney Coleman

Votes: 90,247 | Gross: $177.20M

"You were a tomato! A tomato doesn't have a logic, a tomato can't move!"

22. The Naughty Nineties (1945)

Approved | 76 min | Adventure, Comedy, Music

When their captain is swindled out of his riverboat by a trio of gamblers, stage show star Abbott and his bumbling sidekick Costello must put things right.

Director: Jean Yarbrough | Stars: Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Alan Curtis, Rita Johnson

Votes: 1,648

The whole "Who is on first" routine.

23. What's Up, Doc? (1972)

G | 94 min | Comedy

The accidental mix-up of four identical plaid overnight bags leads to a series of increasingly wild and wacky situations.

Director: Peter Bogdanovich | Stars: Barbra Streisand, Ryan O'Neal, Madeline Kahn, Kenneth Mars

Votes: 17,708

"No, sir, the one who isn't my fiancée doesn't call me Howard and the one who isn't my wife doesn't call me Howard because the one who isn't my fiancée is also the one who isn't my wife. The other one who ISN'T my wife, the one who IS my fiancée... she doesn't call me "Steve." She calls me Howard. Do you see?"

24. The Caine Mutiny (1954)

Not Rated | 124 min | Drama, War

63 Metascore

When a U.S. Naval captain shows signs of mental instability that jeopardizes the ship, the first officer relieves him of command and faces court martial for mutiny.

Director: Edward Dmytryk | Stars: Humphrey Bogart, José Ferrer, Van Johnson, Fred MacMurray

Votes: 22,876 | Gross: $21.75M

"Ahh, but the strawberries that's... that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers..."



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