by MrPunish | created - 19 Nov 2012 | updated - 08 Aug 2014 | Public

Criminally Unfunny (IMO) - Your Comments Welcome

1. Jack Whitehall

Actor | The Bad Education Movie

Jack Whitehall was a child actor in various television dramas, but decided to pursue stand-up comedy after leaving school. He was a finalist in the So You Think You're Funny talent hunt at last year's Edinburgh Fringe, and was nominated for best newcomer at this year's Chortle Awards. In December ...

Unfunny AND unlikeable - Double whammy.

2. Vic Reeves

Actor | House of Fools

Vic Reeves was born on January 24, 1959 in Leeds, West Yorkshire, England as James Roderick Moir. He is an actor and writer, known for House of Fools (2014), Vic Reeves Big Night Out (1990) and Catterick (2004). He has been married to Nancy Sorrell since January 25, 2003. They have two children. He...

wacky? off the wall? surreal? subversive?

NO - Just WANK

3. Reginald D. Hunter

Actor | Tales from the Crypt

Reginald D. Hunter was born in 1969 in Albany, Georgia, USA as Reginald Darnell Hunter. He is an actor and writer, known for Tales from the Crypt (1989), Man Down (2013) and Black Out (2005).

One trick pony relates everything to race, in a very unfunny way.

4. David Walliams

Actor | Little Britain

David Walliams was born on August 20, 1971 in Banstead, Surrey, England as David Edward Williams. He is an actor and writer, known for Little Britain (2003), Stardust (2007) and Dinner for Schmucks (2010). He was previously married to Lara Stone.

Purveyor of bodily function "humour" and schoolboy innuendo, with a nasty, often misogynistic streak.

5. Matt Lucas

Actor | Little Britain

Matt Lucas was born on March 5, 1974 in Paddington, London, England as Matthew Richard Lucas. He is an actor and writer, known for Little Britain (2003), Bridesmaids (2011) and Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016). He was previously married to Kevin McGee.

Don't be deceived, yes he looks funny, but he is not.

6. John Bishop

Writer | Little Crackers

John Bishop was born on November 30, 1966 in Liverpool, Merseyside, England. He is a writer and actor, known for Little Crackers (2010), John Bishop's Britain (2010) and Skins (2007). He has been married to Melanie Cornall since May 1993. They have three children.

Professional northerner with ridiculously white teeth.

7. James Corden

Actor | Into the Woods

Describing himself as the "chunky unit", James Kimberley Corden was born in Hillingdon, London and raised in Buckinghamshire, the son of Margaret (Collins), a social worker, and Malcolm Corden, a musician. He studied drama at the Jackie Palmer Stage School before going on to Holmer Green Senior ...


8. Dawn French

Actress | French and Saunders

Dawn French was born on October 11, 1957 in Holyhead, Wales as Dawn Roma French. She is an actress and writer, known for French and Saunders (1987), The Vicar of Dibley (1994) and Coraline (2009). She has been married to Mark Bignell since April 20, 2013. She was previously married to Lenny Henry.

fat person music video / movie parody specialist - NOT FKIN FUNNY FFS

i can't stand Dawn French, but then again, I don't like anything Lenny Henry's been in

9. Jennifer Saunders

Actress | Absolutely Fabulous

Jennifer Saunders was born July 6th 1958 in Sleaford, Lincolnshire, UK. She attended Central School of Speech and Drama where she met her comedy partner Dawn French. Like many of the early 80s groundbreaking "alternative" comedians she began her career as comedienne/actress/writer with Dawn French ...

see #8

10. Lenny Henry

Actor | Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Lenworth George Henry was born on August 29, 1958, in Dudley, West Midlands in England to a family of Jamaican immigrants. He made his TV debut on a talent show called "New Faces" in 1975 at the age of 16. He won and went on to things such as The Fosters (1976) and Tiswas (1974), which was when his...

Dated + Lame

11. Gina Yashere

Actress | Married Single Other

This dynamic young comedienne hailing from London via Nigeria has taken the comedy world by storm since her debut. In a few short years, she has become one of the most sought after comics in the country, making numerous appearances on Television, radio and the big screen.

This former lift engineer's...

See Reginald D Hunter above.

12. Bob Mortimer

Writer | House of Fools

Bob Mortimer was born on May 23, 1959 in Middlesbrough, Teesside, England as Robert Renwick Mortimer. He is a writer and actor, known for House of Fools (2014), Catterick (2004) and Bang, Bang, It's Reeves and Mortimer (1999). He has been married to Lisa Matthews since October 2015. They have two ...

sidekick bob -

13. Johnny Vegas

Actor | Bleak House

Johnny Vegas was born on September 11, 1971 in St. Helens, Merseyside, England as Michael Joseph Pennington. He is an actor and producer, known for Bleak House (2005), Happiness (2001) and Blackball (2003). He has been married to Maia Dunphy since March 2011. He was previously married to Catherine ...

blubbery professional northern slob

14. Michael McIntyre

Self | Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow

Michael McIntyre was born on February 21, 1976 in Merton, London, England as Michael Hazen James McIntyre. He is a writer and actor, known for Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow (2009), Michael McIntyre's Big Show (2016) and MOBO Awards 2006 (2006). He has been married to Kitty Ward since 2003. ...

Camp, bland, inoffensive and very, very Unfunny.

15. Leigh Francis

Actor | Bo' Selecta!

Leigh Francis was born on May 30, 1973 in Leeds, Yorkshire, England. He is an actor and writer, known for Bo' Selecta! (2002), Keith Lemon: The Film (2012) and Celebrity Juice (2008). He has been married to Jill Carter since October 31, 2003.

juvenile, puerile tosh merchant working under the cover of "irony"

entertainment for the lowest common denominator

lowest of the low.

16. Mike Myers

Actor | Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Michael John Myers was born in 1963 in Scarborough, Ontario, to Alice E. (Hind), an officer supervisor, and Eric Myers, an insurance agent. His parents were both English, and had served in the Royal Air Force and British Army, respectively.

Myers' television career really started in 1988, when he ...

fart joke multi millionaire

17. Russell Brand

Actor | Arthur

Russell Brand was born on June 4, 1975, in Grays, Essex, England, the son of Barbara Elizabeth (Nichols) and Ronald Henry Brand, a photographer. An only child, his parents divorced when he was only six months old, and he was subsequently raised by his mother. Enduring a difficult childhood that saw...

1 cup - silly affectations 2 cups - obnoxiousness sprinkle of - weird staring eyes handful of - smugness generous helping of - pretentious flowery language mix together et voila - one completely dogsiht "comedian"

18. Joe Pasquale

Actor | Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties

Joe Pasquale was born on August 20, 1961 in London, England as Joseph Ellis Pasquale. He is an actor, known for Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006), Kill Keith (2011) and Horton Hears a Who! (2008). He is married to Debbie. They have two children. He was previously married to Alison.

Man with a squeaky voice - hilarious.

19. Noel Fielding

Actor | The Mighty Boosh

Noel Fielding was born to Dianne Fielding and Ray Fielding, on May 21 1973. He has once revealed on The Russell Brand Show, on Radio 2, that he has a French grandmother. Fielding once stated that he was never baptised, he hasn't got a middle name and he does not follow any religion. He was once ...

see #2

20. Simon Amstell

Writer | Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Amstell was born on 29 November 1979 and was raised in Gants Hill, London. The lively and determined chap made his first television appearance in 1993 when he appeared as a contestant on the Channel 4 game show GamesMaster (1992-1998), which he unfortunately lost, but this did not falter him on his...

awkward creepy weirdo

21. Omid Djalili

Actor | The Mummy

Omid Djalili is a British Iranian stand-up comedian and actor. Omid had great success performing A Strange Bit of History, which won the Spirit of The Fringe award at the Edinburgh Festival in 1994, Omid has since become a fringe favorite with a string of sell-out shows. In 1995 it was with Short ...

One of the "I'm from Iran, isn't that funny, hahaha" school of tripe

22. Shappi Khorsandi

Actress | Splitting Cells

Shappi Khorsandi was born in 1972 in Tehran, Iran. She is an actress, known for Splitting Cells (2007), My Favourite Joke (2011) and Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live (2010).

See #21

23. Paddy McGuinness

Actor | Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere

Paddy McGuinness was born on August 14, 1973 in Bolton, Lancashire, England as Patrick Joesph McGuinness. He is an actor and writer, known for Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere (2004), Phoenix Nights (2001) and That Peter Kay Thing (2000). He has been married to Christine Martin since June 4, 2011.

Let the wank see the stain.

24. Al Murray

Actor | Time Gentlemen Please

Al Murray was born on May 10, 1968 in Stewkley, Buckinghamshire, England as Alastair James Hay Murray. He is an actor and writer, known for Time Gentlemen Please (2000), Al Murray: The Pub Landlord Live - My Gaff, My Rules (2003) and Happy Hour (2007). He has been married to Amber Murray since 2000...

Recycler of ridiculous stereotypes who fails to covers his tracks with his oh so clever irony. Stan Boardman with a degree. Pub bore.

25. Dara O'Briain

Self | Mock the Week

Dara O'Briain was born on February 4, 1972 in Wicklow, Ireland. He is a producer and writer, known for Mock the Week (2005), The Panel (2003) and The Look of Love (2013). He has been married to Susan since 2006. They have two children.

Punctuates every punchline with "errrrr" - just to let the fkwits know it's supposed to be funny. Errr. Errrr. Fkin Errr.

26. Paul O'Grady

Producer | The Paul O'Grady Show

Paul James O'Grady was born on 14 June 1955 in Birkenhead, England. He attended Christian Brothers School and, after his graduation, worked as a clerk in a magistrate's court. During that time he met a woman named Diane Jansen with whom he had a brief affair. Their daughter, Sharyn, was born in ...


27. Victoria Coren Mitchell

Writer | The Naughty Twins

Victoria Coren Mitchell was born on August 18, 1972 in London, England. She has been married to David Mitchell since November 17, 2012. They have one child.

How to present "Only Connect" the Victoria Coren Way - 5 easy steps.

1. Every time there's one choice of category left roll out the hilarious "which one will you choose?" or "that's a fine choice" or "yes, I think you should choose that one".

2. Every time there's a mention of alcohol make sure you mention that you drink, in a blindingly unfunny, childish and cringe-worthy way - "Gin did you say? Oh I put that on my cornflakes."

3. Make it seem as if you know all the answers and are not just reading them off the cards in front of you, smugness is essential.

4. Use the word(s) "fiendish" or "fiendishly clever" as often as possible. (Note she has recently calmed down on this - obviously the producers flagged it up as very annoying.)

5. Over articulate in an unnecessarily formal, smarmy know-all whine as if you're talking to idiots- "The next round is the mmmuuuuussssiiiiccc round, you will be hhhhheeeaaaringgggg the ccccllluuueeeessss..."

28. Sarah Silverman

Actress | Wreck-It Ralph

Two-time Emmy Award winner Sarah Silverman is one of the most versatile talents in entertainment, with credits including that of actress, creator, writer, executive producer, comedian, and author. Silverman will next be seen in both The Book of Henry and The Lonely Island's Popstar: Never Stop ...

Edgy? Shocking? Controversial? Boundary-pushing?

Just because it's disgusting or offensive does not make it funny. Grow up.

29. Adam Hills

Writer | Spicks and Specks

Adam Hills was born in 1970 in Sydney, Australia. He is a writer and producer, known for Spicks and Specks (2005), Adam Hills in Gordon St Tonight (2011) and Excess Baggage (2014). He has been married to Ali McGregor since December 2009. They have two children.


30. Joan Rivers

Actress | Spaceballs

Joan Rivers was born on June 8, 1933 in Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA as Joan Alexandra Molinsky. She was a writer and actress, known for Spaceballs (1987), Iron Man Three (2013) and Rabbit Test (1978). She was married to Edgar Rosenberg and James Bennat Sanger. She died on September 4, ...

Nasty, hateful and loathsome in so many ways.

31. Scott Capurro

Actor | Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

Scott Capurro was born on December 10, 1962 in San Francisco, California, USA as Scott Allan Capurro. He is an actor, known for Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999), Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) and Star Wars: Episode I - Racer (2000).

Like Rivers and Silverman above he labours under the impression outrageous / offensive = funny.

Like them he pedals the lame justification "hey I'm part of a persecuted minority so it's OK for me to be offensive".