I don't want to watch this -beep- ever...

by yogsothoth-3 | created - 23 Jan 2012 | updated - 16 Dec 2013 | Public

...so please, stop making movies like this! Do not pay for these movies, if you wanna see them (and you have been warned), download them, don't put dollars in their hands.

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1. The Host (2013)

PG-13 | 125 min | Action, Adventure, Romance

35 Metascore

When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over their bodies and erasing their memories, Melanie will risk everything to protect the people she cares most about, proving that love can conquer all in a dangerous new world.

Director: Andrew Niccol | Stars: Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel, Diane Kruger

Votes: 101,649 | Gross: $26.63M

So, what, gay horror is now the thing, hot stuff?

Get the *beep* away from Sf and horror!

2. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)

PG-13 | 115 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy

52 Metascore

After the birth of Renesmee/Nessie, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi.

Director: Bill Condon | Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli

Votes: 203,470 | Gross: $292.30M

To freely quote Deb Morgan from Dexter I would rather let you *beep* a brick and *beep* me with it' than watch this

3. Twilight (I) (2008)

PG-13 | 122 min | Drama, Fantasy, Romance

56 Metascore

A teenage girl risks everything when she falls in love with a vampire.

Director: Catherine Hardwicke | Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke

Votes: 375,337 | Gross: $191.47M

THIS

4. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

PG-13 | 130 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy

44 Metascore

Edward leaves Bella after an attack that nearly claimed her life, and in her depression she falls into yet another paranormal relationship - this time with werewolf Jacob Black.

Director: Chris Weitz | Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Christina Jastrzembska

Votes: 238,038 | Gross: $296.62M

IS

5. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

PG-13 | 124 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy

58 Metascore

As a string of mysterious killings grips Seattle, Bella, whose high school graduation is fast approaching, is forced to choose between her love for vampire Edward and her friendship with werewolf Jacob.

Director: David Slade | Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Xavier Samuel

Votes: 201,329 | Gross: $300.53M

TRASH

6. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)

PG-13 | 117 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy

45 Metascore

The Quileutes close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses a threat to the Wolf Pack and the towns people of Forks.

Director: Bill Condon | Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham

Votes: 198,403 | Gross: $281.29M

This too

7. Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (2011)

G | 105 min | Documentary, Music

52 Metascore

Follows Justin Bieber with some footage of performances from his 2010 concert tour.

Director: Jon M. Chu | Stars: Justin Bieber, Boyz II Men, Miley Cyrus, Sean Kingston

Votes: 74,844 | Gross: $73.01M

Just wrong. Reason why post-natal abortion should be allowed

8. Hannah Montana: The Movie (2009)

G | 102 min | Comedy, Drama, Family

47 Metascore

As Hannah Montana's popularity begins to take over her life, Miley Stewart, on the urging from her father takes a trip to her hometown of Crowley Corners, Tennessee to get some perspective on what matters in life the most.

Director: Peter Chelsom | Stars: Miley Cyrus, Emily Osment, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jason Earles

Votes: 35,163 | Gross: $79.57M

Can't wait until her secret porn pops out...

9. Zookeeper (2011)

PG | 102 min | Comedy, Family, Romance

30 Metascore

A group of zoo animals decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zoo keeper find love -- without opting to leave his current job for something more illustrious.

Director: Frank Coraci | Stars: Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, Ken Jeong

Votes: 49,802 | Gross: $80.36M

No, thank you

10. Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011)

PG | 94 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy

53 Metascore

The life of a businessman begins to change after he inherits six penguins, and as he transforms his apartment into a winter wonderland, his professional side starts to unravel.

Director: Mark Waters | Stars: Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury, Ophelia Lovibond

Votes: 75,929 | Gross: $68.22M

Why would he really act, when he can make money doing this

11. Thor (2011)

PG-13 | 115 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

57 Metascore

The powerful, but arrogant god Thor, is cast out of Asgard to live amongst humans in Midgard (Earth), where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.

Director: Kenneth Branagh | Stars: Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Hopkins, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston

Votes: 622,982 | Gross: $181.03M

No more bad comic fantasies

12. Glitter (2001)

PG-13 | 104 min | Drama, Music, Romance

14 Metascore

A young singer dates a disc jockey who helps her get into the music business, but their relationship become complicated as she ascends to super stardom.

Director: Vondie Curtis-Hall | Stars: Mariah Carey, Eric Benét, Max Beesley, Da Brat

Votes: 20,309 | Gross: $4.27M

and anything with this woman-thing

13. Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011)

R | 97 min | Comedy

9 Metascore

A kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents footsteps -- and become a porn star.

Director: Tom Brady | Stars: Nick Swardson, Don Johnson, Christina Ricci, Stephen Dorff

Votes: 10,154 | Gross: $2.33M

As soon as you see Adam Sandler's name anywhere on the poster, run!

14. High School Musical (2006 TV Movie)

TV-G | 98 min | Comedy, Drama, Family

Troy and Gabriella - two teens who are worlds apart - meet at a karaoke contest and discover their mutual love for music.

Director: Kenny Ortega | Stars: Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel

Votes: 68,467

*beep* you

15. Norbit (2007)

PG-13 | 102 min | Comedy, Romance

27 Metascore

A mild-mannered guy, who is married to a monstrous woman, meets the woman of his dreams, and schemes to find a way to be with her.

Director: Brian Robbins | Stars: Eddie Murphy, Thandie Newton, Terry Crews, Clifton Powell

Votes: 59,077 | Gross: $95.67M

Same as Adam Sandler

16. Abduction (I) (2011)

PG-13 | 106 min | Action, Mystery, Thriller

25 Metascore

A thriller centered on a young man who sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website.

Director: John Singleton | Stars: Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Alfred Molina, Jake Andolina

Votes: 69,911 | Gross: $28.09M

Ha, why should I watch thriller with boy toy that could get the *beep* kicked out of him by my little sister pathetic

17. Sex and the City (1998–2004)

TV-MA | 30 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

Four female New Yorkers gossip about their sex lives (or lack thereof) and find new ways to deal with being a woman in the '90s.

Stars: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon

Votes: 90,304

If the only show on TV was this, and the only movies in theatres were with Sarah *beep* off and die Parker - I would become terrorist

18. Sex and the City (2008)

R | 145 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

53 Metascore

A New York City writer on sex and love is finally getting married to her Mr. Big. But her three best girlfriends must console her after one of them inadvertently leads Mr. Big to jilt her.

Director: Michael Patrick King | Stars: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis

Votes: 106,409 | Gross: $152.65M

We love show so much, so please make a movie. Ahhh, thanks, I hope you'll all die in agony

19. Sex and the City 2 (2010)

R | 146 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

27 Metascore

While wrestling with the pressures of life, love, and work in Manhattan, Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte join Samantha for a trip to Abu Dhabi (United Arab Emirates), where Samantha's ex is filming a new movie.

Director: Michael Patrick King | Stars: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon

Votes: 65,751 | Gross: $95.35M

And of course, there's sequel. *beep* you

20. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

PG-13 | 132 min | Action, Adventure, Thriller

73 Metascore

The IMF is shut down when it's implicated in the bombing of the Kremlin, causing Ethan Hunt and his new team to go rogue to clear their organization's name.

Director: Brad Bird | Stars: Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton

Votes: 398,991 | Gross: $209.40M

I watched first one, and I was bored. I skipped 2 and 3, didn't even care, but now, everywhere I look there's banner or tv spot or billboard with face of this stupid and mindless *beep*. I hate Tom Cruise and I'm sick of him trying to act when he's simply can't. The only thing I don't understand is what Simon Pegg doing here. He's not bad actor or poor or scientology freak, so why?

21. Crossroads (I) (2002)

PG-13 | 93 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

27 Metascore

Three childhood best friends, and a guy they just met, take a road trip across the country, finding themselves and their friendship in the process.

Director: Tamra Davis | Stars: Britney Spears, Anson Mount, Zoe Saldana, Taryn Manning

Votes: 35,792 | Gross: $37.19M

She is one sad and mentally disturbed person, and should not be made fun of her. She should be just put down (or put into cage with so many others so normal people could pay to see, something like modern freak show)

22. Spice World (1997)

PG | 93 min | Comedy, Family, Music

32 Metascore

World famous pop group the Spice Girls zip around London in their luxurious double decker tour bus having various adventures and performing for their fans.

Director: Bob Spiers | Stars: Melanie Brown, Emma Bunton, Melanie C, Geri Horner

Votes: 29,984 | Gross: $29.34M

There's no words to describe how I'm annoyed with Victoria Beckham. Ok, you sold your skinny, deep, rotten puss.y for big money, way to go girl. But why the *beep* are you everyday on tv or news, what do you do beside giving it to some retard? I would like to vomit into your mouth while kicking you in stomach so you become infertile and stop breeding spawns. The other spice whores are just trash, but this one... Oh, yes, my friends and I banged Baby Spice Emma and she never called us again, she just used us, so *beep* her too!!

23. Teen Wolf (2011–2017)

TV-14 | 41 min | Action, Comedy, Drama

A somewhat awkward teen is attacked by a werewolf and inherits the curse himself, as well as the enemies that come with it.

Stars: Tyler Posey, Holland Roden, Dylan O'Brien, Linden Ashby

Votes: 108,494

I'll pass and wait for next hollywood big hit - this is part of plot - 'Teen vamp cu nt sucking it without breathing for 30 minutes + personal drama for 10 minutes with sperm and blood off-screen (but we believe in your imagination) - cumming to your face next month!

24. Katy Perry: Part of Me (2012)

PG | 93 min | Documentary, Music

57 Metascore

A look at the life, career and music of singer Katy Perry as we follow her on the California Dreams World Tour.

Directors: Dan Cutforth, Jane Lipsitz | Stars: Katy Perry, Adam Marcello, Casey Hooper, Patrick Matera

Votes: 12,857 | Gross: $25.24M

I think it's great that they allow retarded people to make movies and music, but I just don't want to watch it/them. It's just too sad...

25. The Queen of Versailles (2012)

PG | 100 min | Documentary

80 Metascore

A documentary that follows a billionaire couple as they begin construction on a mansion inspired by Versailles. During the next two years, their empire, fueled by the real estate bubble and cheap money, falters due to the economic crisis.

Director: Lauren Greenfield | Stars: Jaqueline Siegel, David Siegel, Alyse Barker, Lorraine Barrett

Votes: 11,591 | Gross: $2.40M

I feel so bad for these rich-beyond-dream people going poor. Really. I do. Why don't you believe me?

26. Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel (2011)

PG-13 | 86 min | Documentary, Biography

69 Metascore

A look at the life and work of the influential fashion editor of Harpers Bazaar, Diana Vreeland.

Directors: Lisa Immordino Vreeland, Bent-Jorgen Perlmutt, Frédéric Tcheng | Stars: Diana Vreeland, Richard Avedon, David Bailey, Lauren Bacall

Votes: 1,219 | Gross: $1.00M

Yeaaaah...no, no. (just look at that poster and imagine hanging it above your bed - sex 0, nightmares 1)

27. LOL (2012)

PG-13 | 97 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

As a new year at school begins, Lola's heart is broken by her boyfriend, though soon she's surprised by her best friend, promising musician Kyle, who reveals his feelings for her.

Director: Lisa Azuelos | Stars: Miley Cyrus, Douglas Booth, Ashley Greene, Demi Moore

Votes: 49,363 | Gross: $0.05M

...amazing poster

28. $ellebrity (2012)

Not Rated | 89 min | Documentary

53 Metascore

Celebrity photographer Kevin Mazur gives an all access pass to life behind the velvet rope and in front of the camera.

Director: Kevin Mazur | Stars: Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kid Rock

Votes: 987

Eh, only if we had some trash TV we could watched all day and brainwashed our kids. We could name it something like E! or maybe MVT. Ah, no problem, at least we have this "documentary", so we could learn lot of stuff about world around us...

29. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

PG-13 | 124 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

66 Metascore

Steve Rogers, a rejected military soldier transforms into Captain America after taking a dose of a "Super-Soldier serum". But being Captain America comes at a price as he attempts to take down a war monger and a terrorist organization.

Director: Joe Johnston | Stars: Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Samuel L. Jackson, Hayley Atwell

Votes: 600,900 | Gross: $176.65M

No, thank you, waiting for Captain Iran for the real deal :)

30. Battleship (2012)

PG-13 | 131 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

41 Metascore

A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.

Director: Peter Berg | Stars: Alexander Skarsgård, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson, Rihanna

Votes: 218,021 | Gross: $65.42M

If you watched trailer, you watched the whole dumb thing.

31. The Armstrong Lie (2013)

R | 124 min | Documentary, Biography, Sport

67 Metascore

A documentary chronicling sports legend Lance Armstrong's improbable rise and ultimate fall from grace.

Director: Alex Gibney | Stars: Lance Armstrong, Reed Albergotti, Betsy Andreu, Frankie Andreu

Votes: 6,584 | Gross: $0.38M

I don't think anyone, beside US, are interested in this. So, another lie from this *beep* so what. Who gives a F. Their entire history is a lie, their economy, their politics, so why not their sport legends be a lie to. Livin a lie Timmy!!

32. A Madea Christmas (2013)

PG-13 | 100 min | Comedy, Drama

28 Metascore

Madea dispenses her unique form of holiday spirit on rural town when she's coaxed into helping a friend pay her daughter a surprise visit in the country for Christmas.

Director: Tyler Perry | Stars: Tyler Perry, Chad Michael Murray, Tika Sumpter, Larry the Cable Guy

Votes: 5,096 | Gross: $52.44M

And all madea crap. Does someone really watching this Perry stuff at all?