The Top 25 How Was This Film Ever Made Listby mercurysnake77 | created - 19 Dec 2010 | updated - 19 Dec 2010 | Public
You know you've all been there -- maybe you were coerced by a friend, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a parent; maybe it was late and you were bored; maybe you thought you wanted a mindless movie to just make fun of and regretted ever picking it up off the shelves. This list is for all of you out there who thought after watching a movie, who the hell greenlit that piece of junk and how come I don't have his job?
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1. Double Team (1997)
R | 93 min | Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi
An international spy teams up with an arms dealer to escape from a penal colony and rescue his family from a terrorist.
Votes: 28,020 | Gross: $11.44M
Van Damme had already lost popularity, and they decide, hey, buddy cop duo with Rodman?
2. Tank Girl (1995)
R | 104 min | Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi
A girl is among the few survivors of a dystopian Earth. Riding a war tank, she fights against the tyranny of a mega-corporation that dominates the remaining potable water supply of the planet.
Votes: 27,249 | Gross: $4.06M
While this is based on a comic with a cult following and a satire about an unlikely super hero could be funny, the second they cast Lori Petty, it goes on the list. For like a year I never let a friend of mine win a debate, because he went to see this in the theater. The conversation went like this:
"Oh yeah, I was dumb for doing this, well, you paid to see Tank Girl, so you can shut your mouth!"
3. Meet the Feebles (1989)
Not Rated | 97 min | Comedy, Music, Musical
Multiple animals and insects experience the sleazier side of show business while working on a variety show.
Did anyone ever say you know what's missing from those muppet movies? Illicit drug use and hardcore sex! Yes, we can all get on board with that. Maybe not.
4. Swept Away (2002)
R | 89 min | Comedy, Romance
A snooty socialite is stranded on a Mediterranean island with a communist sailor.
Votes: 14,077 | Gross: $0.01M
One has to imagine the thinking behind Guy Ritchie making this movie -- "I love my wife very much, what should I get her for her birthday?
"Oh, I know! An acting vehicle for her immense talent."
5. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
PG-13 | 95 min | Comedy, Action, Sci-Fi
In the future, a man struggles to keep his lunar nightclub out of the hands of the mafia.
Votes: 21,862 | Gross: $4.42M
This movie kept getting shelved for production problems: solution, throw more money at it!
6. Laser Mission (1989)
R | 84 min | Action, Adventure, Thriller
Mercenary Gold is sent from the CIA to seize the laser expert Braun in Cuba, before the KGB catches him. A recently stolen giant diamond could be used together with Braun's knowledge to ... See full summary »
For the name alone it deserves to be on this list.
7. Town & Country (2001)
R | 104 min | Comedy, Romance
Porter Stoddard is a well-known New York architect who is at a crossroads... a nexus where twists and turns lead to myriad missteps, some with his wife Ellie, others with longtime friends ... See full summary »
Votes: 4,399 | Gross: $6.72M
The movie might have had potential, but when Warren Beatty asks for a $100 million check to make it, you should probably say no.
8. Howard the Duck (1986)
PG | 110 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy
A sarcastic humanoid duck is pulled from his homeworld to Earth where he must stop a hellish alien invasion with the help of a nerdy scientist and a cute struggling female rock singer who fancies him.
Votes: 37,925 | Gross: $16.30M
This movie almost didn't make the list, because it's just too easy -- but George Lucas? Really? You heard the words talking alien duck detective and thought to yourself, let's give this man a budget to work with!
9. Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
PG-13 | 89 min | Adventure, Horror, Thriller
Chief Brody's widow believes that her family is deliberately being targeted by another shark in search of revenge.
Votes: 34,932 | Gross: $20.76M
After years of horrifying encounters with rogue sharks, the Brady family decides to move to the Caribbean. Somehow the original shark's offspring somehow gets their travel itinerary and decides to show up first -- to get revenge...yes, revenge.
10. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
PG-13 | 87 min | Action, Comedy, Family
A tough police sergeant's overbearing mother comes to visit him and begins to meddle in his life and career.
Votes: 34,707 | Gross: $28.41M
Yes, we think that pairing up one of the baddest mofo action stars ever to grace the silver screen with the tiny woman from The Golden Girls is pure genius too.
11. From Justin to Kelly (2003)
PG | 81 min | Comedy, Musical, Romance
A waitress from Texas and a college student from Pennsylvania meet during spring break in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and come together through their shared love of singing.
Votes: 24,175 | Gross: $4.92M
I honestly don't think the producers of this film understood how terrible those old Frankie Avalon movies actually were. Maybe they do now.
12. The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)
PG-13 | 91 min | Comedy, Romance
A woman agrees to go on a date with a man only if he finds a suitor for her unattractive best friend.
Votes: 34,639 | Gross: $0.03M
Well, Paris Hilton is this..... don't need to hear any more, it's on the list.
13. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Not Rated | 81 min | Adventure, Comedy, Family
The Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.
If it weren't for Mystery Science Theater 3000, I would have never found out Tim Burton and Henry Selick's inspiration for their haunting tale of Jack Skellington and his wish for bringing Christmas to the children -- no, I'm not being serious.
14. Simon Sez (1999)
PG-13 | 85 min | Action, Comedy
Basketball superstar Dennis Rodman stars as a hip Interpol agent attempting to defeat the deadly plans of a crazed arms dealer.
Votes: 6,348 | Gross: $0.29M
Dennis Rodman's brilliant performance in Double Team earned him this masterful role -- OK, I can't keep a straight face Dennis Rodman plays a spy? Really? Also, Dane Cook is in it. I mean, come on.
15. Scream 4 (2011)
R | 111 min | Horror, Mystery
Ten years have passed, and Sidney Prescott, who has put herself back together thanks in part to her writing, is visited by the Ghostface Killer.
Votes: 114,148 | Gross: $38.18M
If 2 and 3 weren't bad enough, they decided to give Wes Craven one more crack at getting the sequel right.
16. Cool as Ice (1991)
PG | 91 min | Comedy, Music, Romance
Votes: 8,153 | Gross: $1.19M
Oh yes, that says Vanilla Ice in bold block letters at the top of that purple cover.
17. Anus Magillicutty (2003)
Not Rated | 70 min | Comedy, Romance
When Anus Magillicutty's woman stops a would-be assassin, Anus is forced to interrupt his life of guzzling beer and women to dispose of the corpse. What starts as a simple chore quickly ... See full summary »
Who hears that title and wants them to continue the pitch?
18. Son of the Mask (2005)
PG | 94 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy
Tim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be.
Votes: 46,806 | Gross: $17.02M
Baby with superpowers who fights the Norse god Loki for control of the Mask -- sure, that sounds like a perfectly legitimate storyline for a sequel.
19. Santa with Muscles (1996)
PG | 97 min | Comedy
An evil millionaire believes he is Santa Claus after an accident renders him amnesiac.
Votes: 8,216 | Gross: $0.22M
Hulk Hogan as an evil millionaire (OK, I can buy that, especially after the horrorshow that was Hogan Knows Best) who wakes up with amnesia and thinks he's Santa Claus -- nope, it's on the list.
20. The Postman (1997)
R | 177 min | Action, Adventure, Drama
A nameless drifter dons a postman's uniform and bag of mail as he begins a quest to inspire hope to the survivors living in post-apocalyptic America.
Votes: 62,068 | Gross: $17.63M
Yes my friends, a no-name drifter who commits a felony by impersonating a federal postal worker brings civilization back from the brink of destruction in three short hours.
21. Anne B. Real (2003)
PG-13 | 91 min | Drama
The coming of age story of a young female rapper, who finds her inspiration by reading the Diary of Anne Frank.
Yo check my flow -- The Diary of Anne Frank...the rap edition!
22. Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)
PG-13 | 93 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Jobe is resuscitated by Jonathan Walker. He wants Jobe to create a special computer chip that would connect all the computers in the world into one network, which Walker would control and ... See full summary »
Votes: 8,521 | Gross: $2.41M
Because the first one was so brilliant, we just had to make a sequel!
23. Leprechaun (1993)
R | 92 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Horror
An evil, sadistic Leprechaun goes on a killing rampage in search of his beloved pot of gold.
Votes: 19,652 | Gross: $8.56M
Yes, my friends. I know it is a cult favorite, but seriously -- we have this evil leprechaun who comes to life when his gold gets stolen, who rides a tricycle at highway speeds and is slowed down only by his obsessive desire to shine shoes...it's on the list.
24. Kazaam (1996)
PG | 93 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy
A troubled kid inadvertently releases a genie, who must grant him any three wishes he requests.
Votes: 20,770 | Gross: $18.88M
Because shaquille o'neal as a genie...yeah
25. A Night at the Roxbury (1998)
PG-13 | 82 min | Comedy, Music, Romance
Two dim-witted brothers dream of owning their own dance club or at least getting into the coolest and most exclusive club in town, The Roxbury.
Votes: 51,904 | Gross: $30.32M
Two socially awkward mutes who bob their heads to one of the worst abominations of a song ever to come out of the dance craze of the 90's was annoying for 90 seconds, yet somehow someone thought it was a good idea to stretch it out for 90 MINUTES!