The Top 25 How Was This Film Ever Made List

by mercurysnake77 | created - 19 Dec 2010 | updated - 19 Dec 2010 | Public

You know you've all been there -- maybe you were coerced by a friend, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a parent; maybe it was late and you were bored; maybe you thought you wanted a mindless movie to just make fun of and regretted ever picking it up off the shelves. This list is for all of you out there who thought after watching a movie, who the hell greenlit that piece of junk and how come I don't have his job?

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1. Double Team (1997)

R | 93 min | Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi

An international spy teams up with an arms dealer to escape from a penal colony and rescue his family from a terrorist.

Director: Hark Tsui | Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Rodman, Mickey Rourke, Paul Freeman

Votes: 28,020 | Gross: $11.44M

Van Damme had already lost popularity, and they decide, hey, buddy cop duo with Rodman?

2. Tank Girl (1995)

R | 104 min | Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi

A girl is among the few survivors of a dystopian Earth. Riding a war tank, she fights against the tyranny of a mega-corporation that dominates the remaining potable water supply of the planet.

Director: Rachel Talalay | Stars: Lori Petty, Ice-T, Naomi Watts, Don Harvey

Votes: 27,249 | Gross: $4.06M

While this is based on a comic with a cult following and a satire about an unlikely super hero could be funny, the second they cast Lori Petty, it goes on the list. For like a year I never let a friend of mine win a debate, because he went to see this in the theater. The conversation went like this:

"Oh yeah, I was dumb for doing this, well, you paid to see Tank Girl, so you can shut your mouth!"

3. Meet the Feebles (1989)

Not Rated | 97 min | Comedy, Music, Musical

Multiple animals and insects experience the sleazier side of show business while working on a variety show.

Director: Peter Jackson | Stars: Danny Mulheron, Donna Akersten, Stuart Devenie, Mark Hadlow

Votes: 17,124

Did anyone ever say you know what's missing from those muppet movies? Illicit drug use and hardcore sex! Yes, we can all get on board with that. Maybe not.

4. Swept Away (2002)

R | 89 min | Comedy, Romance

18 Metascore

A snooty socialite is stranded on a Mediterranean island with a communist sailor.

Director: Guy Ritchie | Stars: Madonna, Adriano Giannini, Bruce Greenwood, Elizabeth Banks

Votes: 14,077 | Gross: $0.01M

One has to imagine the thinking behind Guy Ritchie making this movie -- "I love my wife very much, what should I get her for her birthday?

"Oh, I know! An acting vehicle for her immense talent."

5. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)

PG-13 | 95 min | Comedy, Action, Sci-Fi

12 Metascore

In the future, a man struggles to keep his lunar nightclub out of the hands of the mafia.

Director: Ron Underwood | Stars: Eddie Murphy, Jay Mohr, Randy Quaid, Rosario Dawson

Votes: 21,862 | Gross: $4.42M

This movie kept getting shelved for production problems: solution, throw more money at it!

6. Laser Mission (1989)

R | 84 min | Action, Adventure, Thriller

Mercenary Gold is sent from the CIA to seize the laser expert Braun in Cuba, before the KGB catches him. A recently stolen giant diamond could be used together with Braun's knowledge to ... See full summary »

Director: BJ Davis | Stars: Brandon Lee, Debi A. Monahan, Ernest Borgnine, Richard Cox

Votes: 1,724

For the name alone it deserves to be on this list.

7. Town & Country (2001)

R | 104 min | Comedy, Romance

34 Metascore

Porter Stoddard is a well-known New York architect who is at a crossroads... a nexus where twists and turns lead to myriad missteps, some with his wife Ellie, others with longtime friends ... See full summary »

Director: Peter Chelsom | Stars: Warren Beatty, Diane Keaton, Nastassja Kinski, Goldie Hawn

Votes: 4,399 | Gross: $6.72M

The movie might have had potential, but when Warren Beatty asks for a $100 million check to make it, you should probably say no.

8. Howard the Duck (1986)

PG | 110 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

28 Metascore

A sarcastic humanoid duck is pulled from his homeworld to Earth where he must stop a hellish alien invasion with the help of a nerdy scientist and a cute struggling female rock singer who fancies him.

Director: Willard Huyck | Stars: Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones, Tim Robbins, Ed Gale

Votes: 37,925 | Gross: $16.30M

This movie almost didn't make the list, because it's just too easy -- but George Lucas? Really? You heard the words talking alien duck detective and thought to yourself, let's give this man a budget to work with!

9. Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

PG-13 | 89 min | Adventure, Horror, Thriller

15 Metascore

Chief Brody's widow believes that her family is deliberately being targeted by another shark in search of revenge.

Director: Joseph Sargent | Stars: Lorraine Gary, Lance Guest, Mario Van Peebles, Karen Young

Votes: 34,932 | Gross: $20.76M

After years of horrifying encounters with rogue sharks, the Brady family decides to move to the Caribbean. Somehow the original shark's offspring somehow gets their travel itinerary and decides to show up first -- to get revenge...yes, revenge.

10. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)

PG-13 | 87 min | Action, Comedy, Family

A tough police sergeant's overbearing mother comes to visit him and begins to meddle in his life and career.

Director: Roger Spottiswoode | Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Estelle Getty, JoBeth Williams, Roger Rees

Votes: 34,707 | Gross: $28.41M

Yes, we think that pairing up one of the baddest mofo action stars ever to grace the silver screen with the tiny woman from The Golden Girls is pure genius too.

11. From Justin to Kelly (2003)

PG | 81 min | Comedy, Musical, Romance

14 Metascore

A waitress from Texas and a college student from Pennsylvania meet during spring break in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and come together through their shared love of singing.

Director: Robert Iscove | Stars: Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini, Katherine Bailess, Anika Noni Rose

Votes: 24,175 | Gross: $4.92M

I honestly don't think the producers of this film understood how terrible those old Frankie Avalon movies actually were. Maybe they do now.

12. The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)

PG-13 | 91 min | Comedy, Romance

7 Metascore

A woman agrees to go on a date with a man only if he finds a suitor for her unattractive best friend.

Director: Tom Putnam | Stars: Paris Hilton, Joel David Moore, Christine Lakin, Johann Urb

Votes: 34,639 | Gross: $0.03M

Well, Paris Hilton is this..... don't need to hear any more, it's on the list.

13. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Not Rated | 81 min | Adventure, Comedy, Family

The Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.

Director: Nicholas Webster | Stars: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon

Votes: 9,818

If it weren't for Mystery Science Theater 3000, I would have never found out Tim Burton and Henry Selick's inspiration for their haunting tale of Jack Skellington and his wish for bringing Christmas to the children -- no, I'm not being serious.

14. Simon Sez (1999)

PG-13 | 85 min | Action, Comedy

16 Metascore

Basketball superstar Dennis Rodman stars as a hip Interpol agent attempting to defeat the deadly plans of a crazed arms dealer.

Director: Kevin Alyn Elders | Stars: Dennis Rodman, Dane Cook, John Pinette, Ricky Harris

Votes: 6,348 | Gross: $0.29M

Dennis Rodman's brilliant performance in Double Team earned him this masterful role -- OK, I can't keep a straight face Dennis Rodman plays a spy? Really? Also, Dane Cook is in it. I mean, come on.

15. Scream 4 (2011)

R | 111 min | Horror, Mystery

52 Metascore

Ten years have passed, and Sidney Prescott, who has put herself back together thanks in part to her writing, is visited by the Ghostface Killer.

Director: Wes Craven | Stars: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Lucy Hale

Votes: 114,148 | Gross: $38.18M

If 2 and 3 weren't bad enough, they decided to give Wes Craven one more crack at getting the sequel right.

16. Cool as Ice (1991)

PG | 91 min | Comedy, Music, Romance

A rap-oriented remake of The Wild One (1953), with heavy emphasis on the fact that Vanilla Ice has assumed the Marlon Brando role.

Director: David Kellogg | Stars: Vanilla Ice, Kristin Minter, Naomi Campbell, Deezer D

Votes: 8,153 | Gross: $1.19M

Oh yes, that says Vanilla Ice in bold block letters at the top of that purple cover.

17. Anus Magillicutty (2003)

Not Rated | 70 min | Comedy, Romance

When Anus Magillicutty's woman stops a would-be assassin, Anus is forced to interrupt his life of guzzling beer and women to dispose of the corpse. What starts as a simple chore quickly ... See full summary »

Director: Morey Fineburgh | Stars: Lloyd Garner III, Paige Abbott, Joe Hall, Buddy Golden

Votes: 3,503

Who hears that title and wants them to continue the pitch?

18. Son of the Mask (2005)

PG | 94 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy

20 Metascore

Tim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be.

Director: Lawrence Guterman | Stars: Jamie Kennedy, Traylor Howard, Alan Cumming, Liam Falconer

Votes: 46,806 | Gross: $17.02M

Baby with superpowers who fights the Norse god Loki for control of the Mask -- sure, that sounds like a perfectly legitimate storyline for a sequel.

19. Santa with Muscles (1996)

PG | 97 min | Comedy

An evil millionaire believes he is Santa Claus after an accident renders him amnesiac.

Director: John Murlowski | Stars: Hulk Hogan, Don Stark, Robin Curtis, Garrett Morris

Votes: 8,216 | Gross: $0.22M

Hulk Hogan as an evil millionaire (OK, I can buy that, especially after the horrorshow that was Hogan Knows Best) who wakes up with amnesia and thinks he's Santa Claus -- nope, it's on the list.

20. The Postman (1997)

R | 177 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

29 Metascore

A nameless drifter dons a postman's uniform and bag of mail as he begins a quest to inspire hope to the survivors living in post-apocalyptic America.

Director: Kevin Costner | Stars: Kevin Costner, Will Patton, Larenz Tate, Olivia Williams

Votes: 62,068 | Gross: $17.63M

Yes my friends, a no-name drifter who commits a felony by impersonating a federal postal worker brings civilization back from the brink of destruction in three short hours.

21. Anne B. Real (2003)

PG-13 | 91 min | Drama

The coming of age story of a young female rapper, who finds her inspiration by reading the Diary of Anne Frank.

Director: Lisa France | Stars: Carlos Leon, Eric Smith, Jackie Quinones, Sherri Saum

Votes: 3,611

Yo check my flow -- The Diary of Anne Frank...the rap edition!

22. Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)

PG-13 | 93 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller

29 Metascore

Jobe is resuscitated by Jonathan Walker. He wants Jobe to create a special computer chip that would connect all the computers in the world into one network, which Walker would control and ... See full summary »

Director: Farhad Mann | Stars: Patrick Bergin, Matt Frewer, Austin O'Brien, Ely Pouget

Votes: 8,521 | Gross: $2.41M

Because the first one was so brilliant, we just had to make a sequel!

23. Leprechaun (1993)

R | 92 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Horror

An evil, sadistic Leprechaun goes on a killing rampage in search of his beloved pot of gold.

Director: Mark Jones | Stars: Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston, Ken Olandt, Mark Holton

Votes: 19,652 | Gross: $8.56M

Yes, my friends. I know it is a cult favorite, but seriously -- we have this evil leprechaun who comes to life when his gold gets stolen, who rides a tricycle at highway speeds and is slowed down only by his obsessive desire to shine shoes...it's on the list.

24. Kazaam (1996)

PG | 93 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy

24 Metascore

A troubled kid inadvertently releases a genie, who must grant him any three wishes he requests.

Director: Paul Michael Glaser | Stars: Shaquille O'Neal, Francis Capra, Ally Walker, James Acheson

Votes: 20,770 | Gross: $18.88M

Because shaquille o'neal as a genie...yeah

25. A Night at the Roxbury (1998)

PG-13 | 82 min | Comedy, Music, Romance

26 Metascore

Two dim-witted brothers dream of owning their own dance club or at least getting into the coolest and most exclusive club in town, The Roxbury.

Director: John Fortenberry | Stars: Chris Kattan, Will Ferrell, Raquel Gardner, Viveca Paulin

Votes: 51,904 | Gross: $30.32M

Two socially awkward mutes who bob their heads to one of the worst abominations of a song ever to come out of the dance craze of the 90's was annoying for 90 seconds, yet somehow someone thought it was a good idea to stretch it out for 90 MINUTES!



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