Trama

Selma starts to feel broody, but after taking Bart and Lisa to Duff Gardens, she changes her mind.

Marge and her sisters, Patty and Selma, find out that their Aunt Gladys has passed away. The family travels to Gladys' town to attend the memorial services and hear the reading of her will, which Gladys had recorded on video. Several of Gladys' personal possessions are left to the family, including a set of potato chips that resemble famous people and her pet iguana Jub-Jub. One of Gladys' last statements is a message to her nieces telling them not to waste their lives alone.

Selma takes her aunt's words to heart. She is overcome with the need to have a child. Patty thinks it's a bad idea, especially since Selma's dating record has been quite unsuccessful. Selma buys a spot with a video dating service and goes through a short series of dates but none of the suitors are enough to impress her. She also considers a fertility clinic but when she sees that Barney Gumble is the chief sperm donor, she quickly drops the idea.

Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa see a TV ad for a new amusement park, Duff Gardens, the newest attraction from the beer company. Homer happily tells them he'll take them there that weekend. However, when the weekend arrives, the kids and Marge find that Homer is seriously ill due to food poisoning after eating a large hoagie that had gone bad. Marge asks Selma to take the kids to Duff Gardens. Marge takes care of Homer and he quickly recovers.

At the park, the kids and Selma find that it's mostly just a giant advertising scheme for Duff Beer: the rides, sideshows and parades are all cheesy and boring. Selma would prefer to sit on a bench for the day but the kids drag her onto a It's a Small World-inspired ride. As they travel on a boat through the tunnels, Bart dares Lisa to drink the water they're floating on. She refuses at first thinking it looks unsafe but Bart goads her into it, with a sharp order from their aunt to shut up. When she does, she immediately sinks into a bad drug trip and takes off around the park, hallucinating and getting into trouble. Bart gets into his own trouble when he strips the pants off a George Washington robot. He later gets on a roller coaster, tricking the ride worker into thinking he's tall enough. When the car takes off, Bart can barely hold onto the safety rail. The worker stops the car mid-loop and Bart is left dangling high above the ground.

Selma and Bart end up at the park's security station where Selma apologizes for her nephew's shenanigans. A few moments later, Lisa is brought in by security after she was found swimming naked in the Fermentarium. Selma takes them both home and leaves them with Marge. Selma asks Homer how he raises his kids, feeling that she failed to take care of them. Selma goes home and finds that Patty has picked up Jub-Jub from their mother -- who was trying to kill the lizard -- and holds him gently while stroking his tummy and singing Aretha Franklin's "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman".