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Sir Simon Loveit, a widower, wishes to marry Miss Biddy. His son, Captain Bob, however has already won her heart under the alias of Rhodophil, before he went to war in Flanders. On his return, Captain Bob discovers, courtesy of his manservant Puff, that Miss has two other suitors, Captain Flash and Mr. Fribble. Puff also discovers that his wife, Tag, who he deserted six months ago, has been having an affair with Sir Simon's manservant, Jasper. After coercing Flash and Fribble into a duelling stand-off, Miss Biddy and Tag watch the ensuing chaos with glee as Captain Bob chases off his rivals. Sir Simon relinquishes his attachment to Miss Biddy, leaving true love to win the day.

The 1700's...ish, Oxfordshire, England. In the sleepy town of Upper Trollop, there lived a poet named William Filthe'. He was in love with the beautiful but slightly terrifying Vanity Banks, and although she was engaged to his brother, William was blinded by love. One night however, an illness broke out turning all men into beasts. All thoughts of love strangely vanish when you're running from an unstoppable foe in rather a lot of lace...