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LeonardMaltinsBalls
Reviews
Alpha Dog (2006)
not sure who the ideal audience is for this film
Short and sweet, this movie is about a "gang" (that actually just consists of rich white boys in California who bank on selling weed), and the people who owe them money. They kidnap a 15 year old played by Anton Yeltchen (who, in the movie, is the brother of Ben Foster, who owes them $1,200), only Anton is glad to be kidnapped cause he resents his over-bearing parents, and gets a glimpse into this anything-goes, 24-hours-a-day-party-scene of the rich and responsibility-free youth of the west coast. Then during the last few minutes of the movie you see these guys facing the consequences of what they've done.
All in all, I went to see this because it's John Cassevetes' son who made it. I am fairly neutral on Justin Timberlake, or was prior to seeing this. IF NOTHING ELSE this movie is worth seeing for the performances. Seriously, Emile Hirsch, Justin Timberlake, Ben Foster, and most of the other guys are SO good. Bruce Willis is awesome too. If nothing else, Nick Cassavetes, although definitely going in a different direction than his father did, is allowing his characters to become who they are playing. The acting is very real. So at least that runs in the family. The actual story telling is questionable, and pretty Luke-warm. I wasn't expecting much, but was very pleased when the suspense in the last hour of the film was making me very anxious. That rarely happens.
The style of the film was an unbalanced mix of faux documentary/re-enactment and hand held, crime drama stuff, with a mix of verity testimonials (but so few that it was just awkward). If he had committed to any of the above it would have been a lot less mushy. Also, there wasn't quite enough spoon-feeding to please the high schoolers sneaking in to see justin timberlake, and not quite enough realism to please a fan of his father.
It sure was better than the Notebook.
American Beauty (1999)
Just because everyone else likes this doesn't mean you have to as well...
Did you know Chevy Chase was originally supposed to play the lead? It probably would have been a very different movie, perhaps a much much better movie. And this movie isn't the worst thing ever made, but it definitely takes itself far too seriously; as if for the first time everyone saw the grit and corruption of the average middle class family. Big fukcing deal. Woody Allen's "Husbands and Wives", or Solondz's "Happiness", or even John Waters "Serial Mom" are much greater achievements that didn't even reach cult status. Then you have American Beauty, the (as another user put) "the most important film of the 90s".
There are just certain movies that get blown way out of proportion, more than they deserve, and then it goes down in history as a landmark for that time.
Kevin Spacy could not have been any worse. He's so arrogant and coy. Hey Kevin, stop reading reviews about yourself. And same with Thora Birch. Both of their performances are infuriatingly embarrassing to watch. Chris Cooper is excellent, and the real estate king thing works. Annette Benning is decent, too.
There are movies that aren't trying to be good, and there are movies that we refer to as "films". Then there's garbage like American beauty. A big turd that critics and idiots all over have carefully placed inside of a golden egg. A fat, rotten, golden egg.
A Dog's Life: A Dogamentary (2004)
possibly the worst thing i've ever seen
this is awful. not even like Plan 9 awful.
the narrating is arrogant and self-righteous. the subject matter is just plain ridiculous. and essentially the movie seems to have Absolutely NOTHING TO SAY.
it's a fantastic study on who is able to make movies these days; you don't need a voice or heart anymore - you just have to have money, connections, and a sense of entitlement.
someone, for the love of "film" and "cinema", pick this up with a plastic bag on the sidewalk and throw it in the garbage can around the corner.
Drowning Mona (2000)
if the Yugo were a movie....
A Yugo is small and kindov funny, and can get lost in a crowd...so could this movie. And what's with all the low ratings? I honestly think that, although this isn't a "smart" movie or one that needs to be read into whatsoever, you will either get it or not get it. Much like "Bottlerocket" or "I heart Huckabees".
Set in upstate New York (Verplank, NY, to be precise) in the 1980s when the Yugo car company chose to use the town as a testing ground for their newly designed automobile...but that's a whole different story.
this is a prime example of not judging a book by its cover. at least the DVD cover of this makes it look like The Money Pit or something.
this isn't just a stupid comedy, the writing is dead-on and the cast is incredible. Highlights: Will Ferrel as the amateur pornographer funeral home manager; Bette Midler making fun of her bad reputation as being livid and irrational; Casey Affleck in a puffy blond wig; Jamie Lee Curtis as a down-and-out chain-smoking, mullet wearing, bass playing waitress.
for fans of: rushmore, the burbs, the ref, the national lampoon vacation series, wet hot American summer, serial mom, zoolander, three amigos, the jerk, etc...
there is so much more to this movie than some awful Saturday night live spin-off, 86 minute gimmick. the characters are strong, the performances are genius, and the jokes are priceless. the only thing that bothers me, albeit very minor, is the use of flashbacks...but i don't think it was used as a crutch;i think it was the only way to tell the story.
Q: "He said 'ovaries'?" A: "Oh yeah. All the time."
Also, if you pay close attention, when DeVito is in the mechanic's garage you can hear a little homage to "Fletch" by way of the fictional "Phetzer Valve". Kudos.
Silver City (2004)
John Sayles and the art of mediocre....
What a waste of great talent, except for Darryl Hannah, of course, who is just as bad as ever, doing the same character as the Kill Bill movies (only you could kindov get over that with all of the other bells and whistles in the Bill movies). It's nice to see Thora Birch accepting that she isn't Christina Ricci. Chris Cooper's character was AMAZING. A dead-on idiot politician; unfortunately this isn't the main story. Actually, at first it is, then Sayles drops the ball and makes a movie even worse than Sunshine State (good work, man). By the end when Cooper showed up again I thought "Oh yeah, I forgot he was in this". This could have been a very interesting movie, but there just wasn't enough at stake; Sayles decided to stick with the oliver platt lookalike who, by the way, gave one of the worst performances I've EVER seen, and whose character was almost like a parody of someone trying to act. If you can watch the trailer, you should. It contains the best of Cooper's character....
Vampyre (1990)
Not That Bad
Anyone renting a movie called "vampyre" needs to keep in mind they're renting a movie called "vampyre." And if you're expecting a classic then rent a classic you've heard of.
That being said, Vampyre is pretty entertaining. It was produced with almost no budget at all, which is impressive as it is a period piece (and well-done, considering).
The acting is campy, and the story isn't that captivating, but I've watched it many times. The locations are beautiful. And, after all, there is a topless woman riding around on a horse seductively. Bruce Hallenbeck is the poor-man's Herschell Gordon Lewis, if you can imagine that.