Change Your Image
lor_
Served as Chairman, New York Film Critics Circle: 1993/94.
Favorite interviews were with: Michael Douglas, Sophia Loren, DeForest Kelley, Joan Chen, Joe Henderson, Ismail Merchant, Klaus Kinski, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, Spike Lee, Malcolm McDowell, Zoe Lund, Melvin Van Peebles, Ultra Violet, Wolfgang Petersen, Claudia Cardinale, Serge Silberman, Margarethe von Trotta, Alec Guinness, Leonard Nimoy, Susan George, Joseph Losey, Gale Anne Hurd, Dennis Hopper, Peter Greenaway, Katt Shea, Ken Russell, Maggie Greenwald, Jim Jarmusch, Peter Brook, Jurgen Prochnow, Andy Warhol, Judy Davis, Chuck Vincent, Fred Zinnemann, Wim Wenders, Max Von Sydow, Michael Moore, Terry Gilliam, Rita Jenrette, Karen Lynn Gorney, Bruce Beresford, Jack Thompson, Russ Meyer, Sam Raimi, Abel Ferrara, John Sayles, William Greaves, Nino Manfredi, Lee Van Cleef, Michael Cuscuna, Bille August, Jewel Shepard, Andy Sidaris, Michel Deville, Claude Sautet, Claude Lelouch, Alfonso Arau, Alan Parker, Reinhard Hauff, Traci Lords, Jim Jarmusch, Martha Coolidge, Candida Royalle, Giuseppe Tornatore, Edward James Olmos, Paul Hogan, John Mackenzie, Peter Hyams, Jennifer Beals,, Adrian Lyne, Samuel Fuller, Dario Argento, James Toback, Lasse Hallstrom, Fred Williamson, Gabriel Axel, Joe Bastianich, Aaron Sanchez, Danny Meyer, Steve Hanson, Matthew Kenney, Douglas Rodriguez, Simon Oren, Stanley Donen, Lindsay Anderson, Helena Bonham Carter, Edward Pressman, Harold Becker, Larry Cohen, James Ivory, Jack O'Connell, Michael Phillips, Kevin McClory, Jackie Mason, Joan O'Brien, Stanley Donen, Joseph B. Vasquez, Don Bluth, William Lustig, Al Goldstein, Simon Wincer, Valeria Cavalli, Dave Fishelson, Lizzie Borden, Roberta Findlay, Rob Cohen, Doris Wishman, Robert Tapert, Bruce Campbell, Bill Cosby, Pasquale Squitieri, Menahem Golan, Yoram Globus, Tim Kincaid, Joel M. Reed, Gregory Dark, T.L. Lankford, Fred Olen Ray, Victoria Paige Meyerink, Lawrence D. Foldes, Rick Marx & Ted V. Mikels
Reviews
Maliboob Beach (1995)
Sloppy and brain-dead
Okay, I understand that no-talent pornographers put more effort into thinking up a cute title than in actually making a video. This is on display in "Maliboob Beach", an improvised farrago that redefines how clumsy and sloppy porn can be.
It's feature-length with only 3 sex scenes, considered a cheat by anyone's standards. Video opens with a horny blonde in a bikini by the name of Debi Diamond (a bonafide porn star deserving better vehicles than this junker), who feigns an ankle injury to get sympathetic Corby Wells to take her home and have sex with her. A strap-on dildo highlights this segment.
Then we meet Corby's unlikely parents: Guy DiSilva and Laura Palmer, with Guy making fun of his wife's European accent. After some lame comedy attempts they have a lengthy sex scene, pure filler.
This non-story ends with Laura and Debi going to a saloon where Dave Hardman is the bartender. He also provides entertainment, as stand-up comedian under the persona Randy Redneck. His dirty jokes are so unfunny one suspects that's on purpose, though it doesn't matter. The girls heckle and throw things at him, but being porn actresses they are duty-bound to have a threesome with Dave on stage of the saloon, but fortunately there are no other customers or workers present.
Cinderella (1985)
A travesty
Charles De Santos took the Cinderella story and trashed it with this mind-numbingly stupid and sloppy adaptation. If neighborhood kids had gathered to make a video of the fairy tale, shot with their cell phones, it couldn't possibly be worse than this crap.
It's set in present day (that is, 1985, when taped) with Helga Sven looking glamorous with her three daughters. Key cast members are left uncredited randomly, and only some elements of the story are retained.
Dominating the video are group sex scenes, even the first sex scene with uncredited Mike Horner playing the groom for marriage to Helga's daughter Ashley Welles including him getting blow jobs from the entire family: Helga, Ashley, plus other daughters Stacey Donovan and Lili Marlene. This makes no sense at all, and contradicts star Stacey's status as Cinderella, treated otherwise a a drudge by the rest of her family. However, incest among the femmes is the point, given Helga's successful incest videos at this time, before censorship has now made everyone stepsisters and stepmothers.
The fairy godmother is also uncredited, as she whisks Cinderella magically to a cocktail party hosted by John Leslie, filling the role of Prince. At the party Cinderella is dolled up with sexy makeup and a nice dress, and nobody including Helga recognizes her. She f*cks Leslie, intercut with the rest of the cast having an orgy.
No slipper here; instead in a brief coda at the end of the video, Leslie visits the family to identify a birthmark on the girl's thigh that matches one (not shown) on his wrist. In a memorably bad finish, the lovers kiss and Leslie says: "Hey, let's get the hell outta here". That's the only honest moment in the entire movie, indicating De Santos's disdain for the audience.
She'll Get Fired (2024)
Mean bosses from the vault
Adult Time scoured its archives and found a couple of worthwhile vignettes for revival. I watched them via DVDs 4 or 5 years ago, and they've held up well.
For girl/girl match-ups, it is arousing to see the boss force her worker to have sex with her, whereas it would be old hat or even distasteful to observe the same misbehavior in a boy/girl context. Put simply, who would want to see Harvey Weinstein in action, while Abigail Mac forcing Uma Jolie to service her is stimulating for home viewers, or should I say home voyeurs. Scene in question is titled "You're Fired", previously featured on the 2019 DVD named "No Experience, No Problem!".
The ethereally beautiful Jolie is presented as a clutz, awkwardly spilling things and ruining a report for boss Mac. So Mac is on the verge of firing her, when Uma states the porn line all fans wait for: "I'll do anything" (to keep her job), and the XXX action commences.
In "Will Work for Pussy", released on DVD also in 2019, Natalia Starr is delightful, sort of playing herself as Natalia the porn star doing webcam solos for her fans. Whitney Wright is convincing as her personal assistant, who is shocked but of course amenable to Sapphic sex with the blonde beauty.
Hobbies Before Hubbies (2024)
Fresh material
Good news for Girlsway fans: This VOD release from Adult TIme features three entertaining segments of recent web content not previously on DVD or VOD.
Title vignette is a standard seduction scene of lesbian girl convincing straight girl to make love to her, but with a somewhat oddball premise.
Emma Hix and Adria Rae are busy Scrapbooking: taking little items and each glueing them into scrapbooks in collages. This is how they met, joining a group of scrapbooking enthusiasts, really into crafts.
Even in today's culture that opposes pigeonholing and stereotyping, I guess scrapbooking is considered "for girls", and that is the assumption here. So as the two ladies decide to exchange information about themselves, rather than just sticking to their usual nerdy scrapbook-oriented conversations, romance comes up.
Emma notes she doesn't have much interest in dating, especially because boys typically don't share her likes and dislike. The fact that the two of them have so much in common leads Adria to wonder if they might date each other?
But Emma is straight, she's wondered about other women but never acted upon it. "Why not now?", Adria asks after revealing that she's a lesbian. Their subsequent sex scene together, with Emma typically stepping out of character when it comes to lesbian prowess, proves it's more stimulating than glueing photos onto paper with little notes attached.
In "Her Sapphic Subconscious", though the build-up is quite artificial, casting Penny Barber as shrink and Kenzie Taylor as her patient provides a winning combination in the seduction scene.
Kenzie, styled quite plain here (not glamorous at all), doesn't know what's bothering her. She feels confused, and therapist Penny decides to try a Rohrschach test with her to discover what's bothering the woman subconsciously. To each inkblot shown to Kenzie, the patient sees women talking together, making faces, etc.
Penny naturally wonders if Kenzie is having a lesbian fixation, and she reveals to Taylor that she, the psychiatrist, is a lesbian. Kenzie wonders who one can tell if one is a lesbian, and decides to try kissing her doctor to see her own reaction. The kissing proves mutually arousing, and -hold on porn fans, soon they're f*cking on the shrink's couch.
Kenzie can be forgiven for handling the sex content like a seasoned pro, which she is. It's exciting to watch such talented, mature actresses get it on together, even though feigning innocence is not their strongest suit.
I was pleasantly surprised at the genuinely clever & funny nature of "Hold the Phone: a Moment of Your Time", adding immensely to the intrinsic sexiness of pairing Kenna James and Blake Blossom as lovers.
They're on the bed ready for fooling around when the phone rings -it's a survey lady (voice acting excellently performed by Kay Lovely), who keeps calling and calling -quite a nuisance. Instead of hanging up, the girls decide to have a bit of fun with her, staying on the phone while she asks dumb, tiresome questions about cereal, part of market research.
The girls' tongue-in-cheek, sexy answers to innocent questions, as if talking about lovemaking rather than breakfast habits, are fresh and amusing, with kudos both to scriptwriter Penicio Del Toro and the three girls for making it work. Of course, once the lengthy phone call has ended, Kenna and Blake get down to business for solid lesbian sex action.
Girlsway Originals: Her Sapphic Subconscious (2024)
Mature action
Though the build-up is quite artificial, casting Penny Barber as shrink and Kenzie Taylor as her patient provides a winning combination in the seduction scene.
Kenzie, styled quite plain here (not glamorous at all), doesn't know what's bothering her. She feels confused, and therapist Penny decides to try a Rohrschach test with her to discover what's bothering the woman subconsciously. To each inkblot shown to Kenzie, the patient sees women talking together, making faces, etc.
Penny naturally wonders if Kenzie is having a lesbian fixation, and she reveals to Taylor that she, the psychiatrist, is a lesbian. Kenzie wonders who one can tell if one is a lesbian, and decides to try kissing her doctor to see her own reaction. The kissing proves mutually arousing, and -hold on porn fans, soon they're f*cking on the shrink's couch.
Kenzie can be forgiven for handling the sex content like a seasoned pro, which she is. It's exciting to watch such talented, mature actresses get it on together, even though feigning innocence is not their strongest suit.
Girlsway Originals: Hobbies Before Hubbies (2023)
The wonders of scrapbooking
Making something out of nothing is not to be sneezed at, witness this rather odd segment for Girlsway, written by hack Midnight. It's a standard seduction scene of lesbian girl convincing straight girl to make love to her, but with a somewhat oddball premise.
Emma Hix and Adria Rae are busy Scrapbooking: taking little items and each glueing them into scrapbooks in collages. This is how they met, joining a group of scrapbooking enthusiasts, really into crafts.
Even in today's culture that opposes pigeonholing and stereotyping, I guess scrapbooking is considered "for girls", and that is the assumption here. So as the two ladies decide to exchange information about themselves, rather than just sticking to their usual nerdy scrapbook-oriented conversations, romance comes up.
Emma notes she doesn't have much interest in dating, especially because boys typically don't share her likes and dislike. The fact that the two of them have so much in common leads Adria to wonder if they might date each other?
But Emma is straight, she's wondered about other women but never acted upon it. "Why not now?", Adria asks after revealing that she's a lesbian. Their subsequent sex scene together, with Emma typically stepping out of character when it comes to lesbian prowess, proves it's more stimulating than glueing photos onto paper with little notes attached.
Girlsway Originals: Hold the Phone: A Moment of Your Time? (2024)
Very amusing (and arousing) scene
I was pleasantly surprised at the genuinely clever & funny nature of this Girlsway vignette, adding immensely to the intrinsic sexiness of pairing Kenna James and Blake Blossom as lovers.
They're on the bed ready for fooling around when the phone rings -it's a survey lady (voice acting excellently performed by Kay Lovely), who keeps calling and calling -quite a nuisance. Instead of hanging up, the girls decide to have a bit of fun with her, staying on the phone while she asks dumb, tiresome questions about cereal, part of market research.
The girls' tongue-in-cheek, sexy answers to innocent questions, as if talking about lovemaking rather than breakfast habits, are fresh and amusing, with kudos both to scriptwriter Penicio Del Toro and the three girls for making it work. Of course, once the lengthy phone call has ended, Kenna and Blake get down to business for solid lesbian sex action.
Immediate Relief (2024)
Rubbing her the right way
All-girl massage action -unspectacular but still invigorating.
In the title segment, we have an over-familiar story gimmick -anything to get on to the all-important sexual content. Busty August Skye goes to her neighbor Serene Siren for help: she's injured herself and Siren is just the right person as a massage therapist to help her with her pain.
Their rubdown leads automatically to hot sex by the two women, marred only by Siren's very corny and gimmicky approach to cunnilingus -apparently beloved by her most ardent fans but a very hokey way of playing for the camera.
I had seen Skye before but was surprised this time by her uncanny facial resemblance to supermodel Tyra Banks. She would be perfect casting in a porn video taking off on the hit TV show Tyra has hosted.
Contrasting body types is the theme of "Doing Something Sweet", starring Lauren Phillips as one hot Sugar Mama, taking care of petite cutie Lily Larimar.
As thanks for all she's done for her, Lily offers Lauren a present, in the form of a sensual, loving massage. Watching the tiny girl enthusiastically giving her benefactor an oily rubdown is stimulating to watch, as is the inevitable Sapphic sex enjoyed by both of them. Nothing special here, but just what the fans addicted to Oiler content crave. And it doesn't hurt that Lauren provides an extra large canvas for Lily's magic fingers to work on.
Call it inspired casting or maybe just random, but "Make It Slow" pairs larger than life Siri Dahl with petite Liv Revamped in a nothing scene, living off the extreme contrast in body shapes to get one's attention.
They shoot the breeze about studying massage and end up with Siri letting Liv use her big body for practice, as she plans to open her own salon business after completing her training as a masseuse.
Siri has an unappealing hair style fo this show, and her reduced breasts look awful - what a contrast to the voluptuous beauty of a decade ago. But Liv's character reacts quite differently -she's instantly turned on when she sees her friend in the nude, and soon seduces her.
Both actresses do their darndest to make the scene work, but it has little to recommend it - zero story, zero characterizations and mechanical sex. So much for the trick casting of Siri opposite a girl who looks to be half her size.
Straight Forward (2024)
Adult Time filler
Take a couple of sex scenes lasting over an hour from "Women's World" (directed by Anatomik Media) and add a gonzo scene of Seth Gamble humping Siri (with purple hair) Dahl (also shot by Anatomik Media), and you have a rather pointless VOD from Adult Time titled "Straight Forward". The message for me is: give the fans sex footage, all else is a waste of time. I, of course, disagree - why not watch the original "Women's World" in its entirety (over 4 hours), plus who needs to see that Siri and Seth can have sex as sex workers, not actors?
At any rate, Anatomik Media (Dan and Rhiannon) shot Seth and Siri banging away for 40 minutes (and discussing their sex jobs); It's a turnoff uness you've drunk the Gonzo kool-aid.
Candice Dare takes on Christy Love (a contrast in figures), while Kenna James goes interracial with Mocha Menage in the lengthy "Women's World" excerpt. Many other actresses also appear (in NonSex roles as their XXX scenes are missing) as we get more than a taste of that feature's intriguing storyline of a fantasy world without men. If one cares about that story, this excerpt is frustrating by definition -it puts the characters and their fate on the back burner, in order to focus instead on some of their sex antics.
Hotel California (1996)
Well-produced, ambitious set of XXX vignettes
Although it was reissued on DVD by Digital Playground a decade later, this is still an obscure movie, released on VHS is a quality effort, shot on film and boasting fine production values in its setting at the "Player's Inn" located in California.
Richard's conceit has the seven vignettes seamlessly connected by the comings and goings of guests at the small hotel. One pair or trio of lovers arrives just after another group leaves -there is never anyone else present at the building and it seems to be more of a vacation rental than an actual hotel designed for multiple occupancy.
Concept fits the standard Porn Vignettes style, as characters are introduced and each scene set-up with minimal information and very brief running time, with the sex beginning in just a minute or two. Concise editing keeps the show moving, quite different from our current era of 20 to 40 minute sex vignettes (with very little editing at all) constituting almost all Adult content being shot.
As presented, the Movie's time frame appears to cover less than a day, with a clock chiming to signal the beginning/ending of the later vignettes at night. The movie's tagline is somewhat ominous: "You can check out any time you like, but... you can never leave".
A quite effective musical score emphasizes both the romantic and gonzo elements of the sex footage, with classical, jazz and hard rock music alternating. Felecia and Misty Rain star in the opening segment, having lesbian sex before heading out to a night spot where Misty dances.
Next up are sophisticated Sophia Ferrari and Guy DiSilva dressing to go out to a play performance, but finding time for anal sex in the interim. As they leave, T. T. Boy drives up as porn's familiar "pizza delivery boy", greeted by a sultry MILF expertly played by Nina Hartley who is only interested in sex, not food.
After Boy departs, we see Peter North on the phone at the Inn, talking angrily with his wife as his marriage goes caput. He's a movie producer looking through stills of bombshell Olivia, and phones her to come over to discuss a potential part in his next film. She arrives in a sexy black gown and casting couch action commences, with Olivia not surprisingly earning a role after Pete's copious money shot.
Scene Five arrives with the chiming of a clock as a trio of rockers descend the stairs in the inn to go outside and make love in the dark, with hard rock music playing. It's 2 on 1 dick time for Sid Deuce and Kirsty Waay servicing Alex Sanders.
That clock chimes once more as Nick East drives up to see his teacher Rebecca Bardoux for another MILF scene, the only segment featuring safe sex with a condom worn, after which he calmly asks the satisfied educator for the answers on an upcoming test.
As he leaves and the clock chimes once more, Melissa Monet arrives carrying an attache case, filled with money. Her accomplice Alec Metro is furtive, as they make love on a bed strewn with Franklins, but when they drive off to catch a plane headed for Fiji, the sound of police sirens is heard, previously telegraphed by some intercut shots of a police car's flashing lights. "FIN" indicates the show is over, its meaning left cryptic.
This somewhat different Adult Movie suggests it would be worth researching obscure pornographer "Andre Richard". I had seen an unsuccessful crossover (erotic horror) movie he made, "Screamers" starring Dee, but he's only credited with directing a handful of movies in the late VHS era. I was quite surprised to find L. Q. Jones and Doug Harms in the credits as associate producers: both indie filmmakers NOT associated with pornography, with L. Q. so famous as an actor as well as having backed indie productions like "A Boy and His Dog" and "The Brotherhood of Satan". This overlap between porn movies and mainstream indies is fascinating and under-reported.
Attic Toys (1995)
Unusual porn fantasy weaves a spell
That underrated actress/filmmaker Teri Diver came up with an offbeat story of toys that have come to life in this Jim Enright video -not one of his comedies but an unclassifiable tale worthy of Irwin Allen (yes, I watched "Land of the Giants" back in the day).
With Debi Diamond in the lead role there's no shortage of hot sex, as she plays an initially inhibited character named Maddy who retrurns to her old home, only to find the dolls and other toys left many years ago in the attic are alive -just iny people (played by porn stars, of course). Brittany O'Connell plays a redhead Barbie who convinces Maddy to free up and live life to the hilt, which translates in porn terms into having lots of sex. Mandy had wished to tread places with her favorite old Barbie doll but instead is reduced to doll size hersel, and later Barbie puts on a strap-on dildo and shows Maddy a good time with it.
Meanwhile, Maddy's boyfriend Steven St. Croix invites over a girl he picked up at a bar (Bunny Bleu, also a redhead) and f*cks her while Maddy pretends to be away. The G. I. Joe-type toy, played by T. T. Boy, gets to hump not just Brittany but also a Raggedy Ann doll (with a crummy red wig) played by busty Jasper. Once liberated, Maddy has returned to full-size and has a 3-way with a couple of guys she picked up in a bar: Alex Sanders and Jonathan Morgan.
What makes it all work is the outsized sets, including huge chairs and building blocks that convincingly create, along with well-done photography, the illusion that these doll people are tiny. For example, when Mandy wants to leave a note for Steven she uses a 10-feet tall pencil to write it.
The musical track is effective in sustaining a fantasy mood, and I appreciated a bittersweet ending after Mandy once again abandons her childhood toys in the attic and they all lie there, lifeless once more.
Everything Goes (1990)
What a complainer!
A nothing video by an awful pornographer (Michael Morrison = Milton Ingley) consists of Kristina King sitting on her couch, endlessly bitching on the phone how everybody uses her house and swimming pool as a place to have sex, without even consulting her. That's it: five flashback sex scenes, including her own, taking place at her pool or on her couch.
Ths sloppy video has silly mistakes, for example, she will call a character by one name but in the flashback he has a different name (Joey Silvera is either Joey or Dave). Ending has Krisitna's flashback of taking it in the rear from Tom Byron at her pool.
Sleepwalker (1990)
Fantasy goes nowhere
Title role goes to Aussie beauty Alice Springs, who delivers solid white nightgown action just like in very old horror films - in fact Canterbury ends the video with a shot of her discarded nightgown as the image behind the credits sequence. She appears as almost a hallucination to Tom Byron, out driving late at night with his girlfriend Lauren Brice. Lauren is giving him a blowjob while he drives, quite distracting.
So Canterbury has his inevitable ending -Byron finally finding his dream girl and going to bed with her. But what happens in between is dull and arbitrary. First, his girl Lauren doesn't believe the girl is real -she didn't see her. Later, Tom finds Lauren making love to Jeanna Fine, which understandably annoys him - Stuart's script has Jeanna identified as a recruiter for the Young Republicans - what??
A subplot is quite screwy: T. T. Boy found Alice wandering in a daze and brought her to jail, where she's sent to shrink Tracey Adams to receive hypnotherapy, and Alice under hypnosis imagines Tracey humping T. T. Boy on a stairway. Meanwhile back at the jail, cops Joey Silvera and Cal Jammer hump prostitute Cameo. Cal just happens to be a friend of Tom's, so he lets him know he's found the dream girl (Alice) and directs Tom to get her.
None of these contrivances or transitions are credible, just excuses to tie together (sort of ) six sex scenes.
Lesbian Sex 27 (2024)
Great pairings
"Lesbian Sex" is the least interesting of Girlfriends Films" many popular series -it's simply devoted in all-sex fashion to presenting talented femmes having sex, unencumbered by playing characters or enacting stories. In fact the "unscripted" nature of the show is touted in its marketing. With gonzo porn having conquered the industry, there's nothing special about this approach, but at least the casting here is effective.
The girls interview each other to open each segment, the usual self-serving mutual admiration content. It's not an issue of insincerity, it's just that they are sex workers making the most of another (in an undoubtedly busy schedule) of XXX performances.
For example: Cherry Kiss stresses the importance of kissing, while her co-star Eva Long stresses eye-contact. Their resulting scene is invigorating and well-played, but the notion of romance, drama, you name it is not present. We voyeuristically watch seasoned pros doing their thing.
My favorite scene of the four presented matches two dissimilar beauties: Euro porn queen Crystal Rush and exotic American star Ember Snow. It doesn't hurt that both are stacked ladies, but in the absence of characters, their contrasting looks give the standard girl/girl sex scene an edge.
Elsewhere, it's always a treat to see Jennifer White in action, this time as a MILF engaging with the lovely Chloe Amour. It is interesting the Jennifer is the Older and Chloe the Younger in the duo, with Chloe at age 33 still convincingly a sweet young thing next to Jennifer who is only three years her senior.
Heavenly Yours (1995)
Weak ghost story
That team of Patti Rhodes and Fred Lincoln came up with a loser this time in "Heavenly Yours", featuring Jon Dough as one of the dullest ghosts of all time. Fans of Lisa Ann will want to watch the superstar looking quite different, pre-nose job (similar to the transformation Celeste underwent earlier), but still quite sexy.
Show opens with either a nightmare or a flashback, take your pick, as Dough is murdered after humping Channone on a pool table. As stressed by Lisa's best friend Sindee Coxx, he was a philanderer, making it with many women while still married to Lisa.
Now she's remarried to Alex Sanders but can't get Jon out of her mind. She even hallucinates that his ghost is visiting her. The sex scenes are arbitrary, with Coxx comforting her gal pal Lisa with sex, but rebuffed when she talks about how bad Jon was. A masseuse (cameo role by Rebecca Lord, who was makeup artist for the video) isn't helpful but a prostitute at the massage parlor, after having a 3-way with customers, reveals she's the mother of Jon's baby.
Patti's script doesn't clear up Jon's murder and ends the show with a lousy scene of his ghost making love to Lisa on a phony rooftop, then urging her to commit suicide. Will she die or go back to husband Alex? You have to suffer through this clunker to find out.
She's a Sex Addict (2024)
Two golden oldies
A new Adult Time VOD brings back a pair of fine 2018 Girlsway vignettes directed by Stills By Alan for current porn audiences to view.
One that I've been unable to find on previous VODs or DVDs is "The Sex Addict", a well-acted scene featuring Penny Pax as a sex therapist being seduced (rather easily) by her new patient Whitney Wright. Their sex on the couch (the shirink's couch of course) is quite stimulating, and it's humorous watching Penny try to remain professional and resist sex addict Whitney's pressure.
The other scene, titled "Girlsway's Newest Director" was well-received on the 2018 DVD "Girlsway Crew". It was briefly reissued in March 2024 on a VOD titled "Ass Play" but that release was botched (contents misidentified), so here it is one more time.
Producer Bree Mills takes over center stage herself (and overstays her welcome, IMHO) as a parody of herself, barking out ridiculously detailed market-research-driven orders concerning desired content to neophyte director April O'Neil. April tries to carry out the silly approach to giving members what the want (Bree is definitely tongue-in-cheek when pretending to kowtow to her web subscribers' every wish), and of course the talent balks at this nonsense. Again, predictably O'Neil saves the day by humping her star Lana Rhoades herself, unfortunately leaving guest star Dillion Harper, who was supposed to service Lana in the scene, high and dry.
This is far, far from the "realistic sex" that Bree verbally emphasizes in character, but the campy approach is entertaining when performed by such skilled actresses. Hint that Bree is aiming for laughs is when she points out to April that "all women can squirt", perhaps an admonition that all it takes is a handy turkey baster and a bottle of Poland Spring.
5 ans après (2024)
New talent
A change of pace from Dorcel, this Alis Locanta feature has six 20-somethings who went to college together have a weekend reunion at a seaside rental home, with all sorts of hookups and sexual explorations occurring among them.
Clara Mia and Brit star Sam Bourne are the most familiar faces among the relative newcomers, and there's quite a difference from typical Dorcel fare in that the ladies aren't glamorous and don't parade around dressed in those trademark undergarments with garter belts.
This attractive cast doesn't have the porn star look, definitely a refreshing element. The porn is upbeat and positive, with none of the bondage or kink one usually expects.
Overall, there's a certain nostalgia value developed, as friends become lovers and characters make up for missed opportunities.
All Girl Massage: Make It Slow (2023)
Opposites attract
Call it inspired casting or maybe just random, but this Oiler segment pairs larger than life Siri Dahl with petite Liv Revamped in a nothing scene, living off the extreme contrast in body shapes to get one's attention.
They shoot the breeze about studying massage and end up with Siri letting Liv use her big body for practice, as she plans to open her own salon business after completing her training as a masseuse.
Siri has an unappealing hair style fo this show, and her reduced breasts look awful - what a contrast to the voluptuous beauty of a decade ago. But Liv's character reacts quite differently -she's instantly turned on when she sees her friend in the nude, and soon seduces her.
Both actresses do their darndest to make the scene work, but it has little to recommend it - zero story, zero characterizations and mechanical sex. So much for the trick casting of Siri opposite a girl who looks to be half her size.
All Girl Massage: Immediate Relief (2023)
A corny gimmick
The All Girl Massage label turns to an over-familiar story gimmick here -anything to get on to the all-important sexual content. Busty August Skye goes to her neighbor Serene Siren for help: she's injured herself and Siren is just the right person as a massage therapist to help her with her pain.
Their rubdown leads automatically to hot sex by the two women, marred only by Siren's very corny and gimmicky approach to cunnilingus -apparently beloved by her most ardent fans but a very hokey way of playing for the camera.
I had seen Skye before but was surprised this time by her uncanny facial resemblance to supermodel Tyra Banks. She would be perfect casting in a porn video taking off on the hit TV show Tyra has hosted. A.
All Girl Massage: Doing Something Sweet (2023)
Oiling sugar mama
Contrasting body types is the theme of this All Girl Massage vignette, starring Lauren Phillips as one hot Sugar Mama, taking care of petite cutie Lily Larimar.
As thanks for all she's done for her, Lily offers Lauren a present, in the form of a sensual, loving massage. Watching the tiny girl enthusiastically giving her benefactor an oily rubdown is stimulating to watch, as is the inevitable Sapphic sex enjoyed by both of them. Nothing special here, but just what the fans addicted to Oiler content crave. And it doesn't hurt that Lauren provides an extra large canvas for Lily's magic fingers to work on.
Love on the Hershe Highway (1989)
Ron Jeremy lectures and demonstrates
Anal Sex is a long-running porn genre, often advertised with the intentionally misleading (and pointless) claim of "all-anal". I bet this was a popular VHS release in its day, but hardly holds up over the years.
Ron Jeremy introduces the show and has sex with Scarlett O., telling us about anal eroticism with various warnings for the uninitiated. Lynn LeMay with an insipid sort of Valley Girl spiel dominates the rest of the vignettes, very loosely tied together by cross-referencing.
All the girls indulge in anal sex, including double penetrations. The goal of appealing to fans of the genre is achieved, with plenty of closeups "proving" we're watching anal sex, but nothing of interest beyond that.
Up to and Including Her Limits Volume 4 (2024)
Domination time
Kayden Kross and her fellow Deeper label directors provide four particularly cold, empty segments on this DVD, aiming for a heartless approach. With overworked Seth Gamble on hand for two of them, his sullen demeanor exemplifies the overall mood.
Busty Black actress Medusa stars in "Smooth Operator", no relation to the Sade classic but instead a dumb scene supposedly about phone sex. She services Vince Karter but otherwise it's as pointless an exercise as the rest of the show.
In "Play Again", dominant Seth abuses Slimthick Vic who only wants to please him. The corny premise is that he rejected her because she would not sign up for anal sex. He demands absolute trust, but she gets another chance and in the gonzo scene she delivers lots of anal sex, rewarded with a ring at the end. Along the way the fans get to see her choked and flogged for good measure.
A similar misogynistic scene is titled "Repurposed", its name bluntly explained when Dante Colle has two pals (Seth and Vince Karter back in action) over and points out his new "coffee table" -it's actually slave Emma Hix as super-sub, he points out that she used to be an interior designer but he "repurposed" her. Talk about women as objects! The ensuing gang-bang has poor Emma reduced to plenty of double penetrations, never batting an eyelash.
Manuel Ferrara is featured in a 3-way scene banging big-tits gals Lena Paul and Alyx Star, who also enjoy hot lesbian sex. It's titled "I Want Your Touch" and unsubtly again demonstrates the joys of submission.
I suppose this DVD is designed to put you into a bad mood, or at least cultivate bad thoughts of abusing women, just what we need now. And I thought KK was a pioneer advancing the cause of women! Only thing missing from her Deeper formula here is the complete absence of Black studs in the cast.
Route 66: How Much a Pound Is Albatross? (1962)
A terrific diversion
Like a true breath of fresh air, Julie Newmar rides into Pico County, Arizona on her motorcycle and takes over "Route 66" for an episode, winning the hearts of M & M. She even upstages their trusty Corvette.
Not necessarily the best role of her career, this is nonetheless the showiest. Silliphant wrote for her the most elegant collection of New Age and Zen dialogue, as she's presented not as a Beatnik and of course no Hippie, they having yet to be invented, but a fabulous Free Spirit and Nonconformist. With her on screen, no supporting cast is needed, though veteran character actor Frank McHugh adds a fine scene of pathos as a barfly struck by her "princess"-level beauty, reflecting on how sad his own life is.
Newmar's delivery of Silliphant's poetic prose is mavelous, covering a range of emotions but always spellbinding. First style butch on her motorcycle, she is simply dazzling emerging suddenly in a dress George bought for her. (Maharis is quite funny, playing his starstruck role with an SEG on his face, and later having an amusing turn impersonating a British military officer in the Punjab, mocking an equally starstruck Milner.)
This particular "Route 66" segment should be placed in a Time Capsule. In fact, seeing it for the first time 62 years after broadcast, my admiration for Julie Newmar has expanded tremendously.
Crawlspace (1972)
Taut, unusual TV thriler
One of my sci-fi/horror/fantasy reviews written 50 years ago: Directed by John Newland; Produced by Robert Berger; Executive Producer: Herbert Brodkin, for Titus Productions. Telecast by CBS-TV. Screenplay by Ernest Kinoy, from Herbert Lieberman's novel; Photography by Urs Furrer; Edited by Carl Lerner; Music by Jerry Goldsmith. Starring: Arthur Kennedy, Teresa Wright, Tom Happer and Eugene Roche.
Very fine contemporary horror telefilm which handles a limited-space abstract situation (a boy gone primitive holed up inside a protective childless couple's house) with finesse. Unfortunately watered-down to fit broadcast television standards, this clearly post-"Straw Dogs" and "Willard" tale has an obsessional thematic directness which is unusual for television.
Count Yorga, Vampire (1970)
Amateur night horror
One of my sci-fi/horror/fantasy reviews written 50 years ago: Directed by Bob Kelljan. Produced by Michael Macready; Released by American-International Pictures. Screenplay by Bob Kelljan; Photography by Arch Archambault; Edited by Tony de Zarraga; Music by William Marx. Starring: Robert Quarry, Roger Perry, Michael Murphy, Michael Macready, Donna Anderson, Judy Lang, Julie Conners and Marsha Jordan; Narrated by Geoge Macready.
Just an amateurish horror film tediously recounting the story of a Los Angeles vampire. Ripping off both Hammer Films and George Romero in stilted exploitation-minded fashion. Note the small role for soft porn star Marsha Jordan in the cast.