Reviews written by registered user
jonathanportch

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6 reviews in total 
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1 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
Greed is the spur, 28 May 2010
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Having started with a timeline and a date for their conclusion, which somehow slipped six weeks into the end of May, we end with no conclusions at all. A lot of hard work has been trashed in favour of wheeling the series on and on until viewers and advertisers inevitably tire of it and the scriptwriters have to rush off a lets-end-it-now-whatever episode of film-flam.

I can see no reason why the viewer couldn't have had a few questions answered - there's plenty of ongoing and recently introduced storyline to carry the show forward - but no.

Instead they only respect the producers retain for the viewer is for their cash.

I, for one, will not be bothering to follow it to the next proposed date of 2015, if it makes that far.

There's a BIG BIG difference between leaving the customer hungry for more and this contempt.

Big shame. big production, big values. big acting. SMALL mindedness

Tony (2009/I)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
If this doesn't creep you out, it damn well should, 15 May 2010
8/10

This a difficult film to review without giving away too much and other reviewers have already drawn the outline: it's about a killer.

An outstanding performance by Peter Fernandino makes it frighteningly believable. It is short, maybe too short; and leaves all sort of questions hanging unanswered.

That's also a strength in that it leaves you wondering. If the characters don't remind you, vaguely at least, of people you know, people you've met. or people you've heard about, then you should get out more. Many people go missing - let's hope this isn't what happens to them...

5 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
should've shot liam cunningham, 19 October 2009
6/10

a decent enough if somewhat silly action movie totally spoilt by cunningham's ridiculous accent. dick van dyke's cockney chimney sweep in mary poppins a masterpiece by comparison. lends little and takes away a lot. i hope he's not proud of it.

that aside, the story gory moves along nicely. there's some lively action scenes well filmed and choreographed and accompanied by an adequate if unsurprising soundtrack. Ving Rhames is as dependable as ever while Kelly Hu and Robert Carlyle add some depth to a relatively familiar storyline.

it's by no means a must-see and i can see why, despite it's initial promise, it's gone straight to video. It is, however, a cut above many films that go down that route.

for me, 6 it is. 4 if you count cunningham.

11 out of 34 people found the following review useful:
two major flaws, 9 October 2009
1/10

It was a big mistake putting NCIS in the title: it raises expectations that this pale and formulaic imitation fails to meet. Inevitably, comparisons will be made with the original and this show fails on EVERY level. the characters are unlikeable cartoons playing preconceived roles; the computer specialist, the joker, the waffler, etc. with no charm and burdened by a robotic script. It's as if a third rate amateur dramatic group was doing a first pass read through of a very poor script loosely based on something called NCIS.

The second major flaw is that somehow this got made. Did it really get through trial screenings? Advertisers sold slots in the middle of this must surely regret any association.

I try to stay positive wherever possible but i'm afraid, for me, there is no redemption.

give it a go. i'll be surprised if you're not disappointed.

4 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
Er? it's not the FIFTH commandment, 5 March 2009
6/10

It does actually say quite a lot about the movie that they think the fifth commandment is "thou shalt not kill" It isn't. Gives you some idea of the lack of attention involved in producing the movie. As a kick-fest, with guns and explosions thrown-in, it stands with some merit, though the production values are not of the best. The plot is fairly simple, yet made confusing in an attempt to give it depth. The acting is pretty good given the limited script. The sound track is pointlessly noisy in all the wrong places. In all, it gives the feeling of an early eighties effort: a pleasant enough diversion for a rainy day, but don't expect to be blown away.

Birthrite (2008) (V)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
megan dowd should work again, 28 July 2008
5/10

though not, i fear, as an actress. nice photography, a plausible script and some believable, if stereotypical, characterisation.it's not a ground breaker and it's clearly not big budget, but those who call it "the worst ever" should get out more. they haven't seen enough movies. It's subtly sinister without resorting to the overused shock tactics and crudely managed special effects so often used to shore up truly poor examples of the genre. i'm not sure if it's intentional, but i found my sympathies going towards the so-called villains, which is some achievement. they have a warped morality and a sense of suffering. unlike the obnoxious elizabeth who may or may not get what she deserves.