carolinajh Reviews

Dracula (2020)

Netflix Trap

[2/10 · 9 January 2020]

Netflix seems to have trouble maintaining any standards with each growing season or next episode. This started out well, and looked very interesting, but the second and third episodes were just utter garbage. The Nun was without a doubt the best actress in the series, but Dracula was miscast, and annoying. He had zero charisma, and honestly, I couldn't wait for him to die. What a shame.

The Man in the High Castle (2015–2019)

Garbage

[2/10 · 17 November 2019]

Honestly, the first 2 seasons are pretty decent, but the next 2 take a serious nose dive to the point I wished I never started watching this. From the SJW LGBTQ crap in season 3 to the Anti-American Black Communist in season 4; the show becomes bloated with inane storylines that offer zero to the overall story. The character development becomes secondary, acting is weak, and the final season is so atrocious I honestly grew to hate the show by the end. I mean really, we're supposed to believe a group of black communists men and women who were not introduced in the first three seasons just show up organized, take down the Japanese, and the Nazis by destroying an oil pipeline, and a really good talk? So lazy. Given the small amount of black people in America at that time, the Japanese would've just thrown them all in camps to prevent further attacks, and the Nazis would've just exterminated them.

Don't waste your time on this Hollywood garbage. If they wanted to make a show from the minority perspective, they just should've done it, instead of halting an entire storyline from 3 seasons, and then quickly ending it. What a sh** show.

Penny Dreadful (2014–2016)

A fantastic show, but

[7/10 · 31 October 2019]

This is a fantastic show, but I really don't understand the need for the transvestite gay sex. It's gratuitous, as if Hollywood wants to make you as uncomfortable as possible with this stuff. It's just not warranted. If I wanted to watch that, I'd watch porn. I don't need to see people having sex on a show to make it more interesting, and on top of that, a gay transvestite relationship that is completely impertinent to the story. Seriously, it had nothing to do with the entirety of the storyline. It was bizarre.

If you can fast forward through those parts, the show is really entertaining. I would recommend it to anyone. It has a great spin on an old classic tale.

Glitch (2015–2019)

Do Australians have a heart?

[7/10 · 2 October 2019]

Honestly, this is one of the best shows I've seen in a long time, but my one major gripe is the main character. Your wife comes back from the dead, and he sheds just a few tears. Nothing more, nothing less. If my wife, who died recently of cancer, came back to life, I would be screaming and crying. The main character had some tears, but mostly nothing. He catches her in bed with another man, nothing. That bothers me. Other than that, it's an amazing show.

The Domestics (2018)

What the hell

[1/10 · 28 September 2019]

This movie makes absolutely no sense. The government just decides to poison its people with a toxin that kills the majority of Americans leaving what appears to be a post apocalyptic group of sociopaths who join gangs? If this isn't the dumbest plot, I would've assumed it to be some sort of porn movie. The acting is so bad, I felt like Kate Bosworth was going to start slamming the kid from Perdition. What the hell was that dance scene? Seriously? People are trying to kill you, and you're getting drunk and dancing to loud music. This movie should've been called, Domestic: SJW version. So dumb.

Dirty Dancing (2017 TV Movie)

Fat girl goes to summer camp

[1/10 · 21 August 2019]

Yes I said it, but let's be honest. Dirty Dancing is an iconic 1980's film that even straight dudes like myself enjoy. This unfortunate mess was nothing more than an attempt at a cash grab. The casting was so awful, I wanted to bleach my eyes, and shove Q-tips into my ears when they faux sang, and attempted to dance. There was absolutely no chemistry between the main characters what so ever. I don't know why they didn't put the girl who played the sister as Baby. She made much more sense. I hate this so very very much.

Riverdale (2017–2023)

Perfect if you're 15

[1/10 · 16 July 2019]

This show had potential, but it went off the rails right after season 2. The storylines make no sense, the characters are so unlikeable, you hope the black hood takes them all out, and right when you their is hope, it gets worse. They inject SJW crap in almost everything. This show is just god awful and stupid.

Us (II) (2019)

Utter garbage

[1/10 · 9 June 2019]

The acting was atrocious, the storyline was stupid, and the overall movie was so basic, you could figure out the ending in five minutes. You knew the protagonist was the crossover person in the beginning. This movie was just utter crap.

Abattoir (2016)

Maybe the worst

[1/10 · 21 May 2019]

This movie is so bad, I wanted to literally vomit. It's long, stupid, and has little to no plot through most of it. The acting is atrocious, the storyline has Down syndrome, and the ending is about as satisfying as massage without a happy ending. Skip this at all cost.

Catch-22: Episode #1.1 (2019) Season 1, Episode 1

It's so bad, you'd be better off spending your time outside

[1/10 · 20 May 2019]

Casting is such an important part to whether a movie or tv show is successful, and they made a huge mistake with the lead character. They needed someone with some clout to take on such an iconic role. The fact they chose such a nameless person shows they really didn't think this was worth their time. Don't bother watching this.

Game of Silence (2016)

How did this not get picked up?

[10/10 · 9 May 2019]

This is a great show, I've been streaming it on Amazon. I didn't even know this show existed until I saw it there. I guess maybe that's why it didn't get picked up. It's a great show and worth a watch. I hope maybe if enough people stream the show, Amazon will pick it up for another season. Give a watch.

T2 Trainspotting (2017)

I hate this movie

[1/10 · 19 April 2019]

The first movie was an amazing triumph of sadness, societal degradation, drug use, emotional dissidents, and attempted retribution only to be completely unfounded in the second movie. None of the characters from the first film largely better themselves, and only to prove they are the degenerates we saw through out the entire first film without a redeemable trait amongst them.

I hoped to see at least a modicum of hopefulness in one of the characters, but none of them learned from their mistakes. I was very disappointed, and wished I had never bothered. The nostalgia of this film ruins what anyone would've loved about the first film.

Black Summer (2019–2021)

Not worth you're time

[1/10 · 14 April 2019]

The obscene language was a large turnoff with every other word being a curse word. I am from a time period where cursing was considered crass, and unnecessary. I'm only 37 mind you, but the writing seemed extremely lazy having this be the focal point.

Also, I don't understand how a band of murderous kids seemed to just pop up out of no where. Really stupid and really bizarre. I wouldn't waste my time on this.

The Order (2019–2020)

Belongs on the CB

[1/10 · 12 March 2019]

The acting is so bad, I kept waiting for it to turn into some weird porn. It seems like the more you wait for the story to be interesting or the acting to get better, it only gets worse. If you think the storyline will get better, it doesn't. It gets so much dumber. I wasted so much time on this. Don't waste your time on this, it's severely dumb.

The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

The Citizen Kane of cartoon cinema

[10/10 · 29 January 2019]

If you love the nostalgia, if you love the transformers, this is a movie you cannot watch just once. It is the quintessential 1980's movie every fan of The Transformers must watch. I still tear every time I watch the scene of Optimus Prime dying. Even more devastating when you're 5, and one of your favorite Transformers dies. Still, the movie plot is fantastic.

The movie cast is also absolutely amazing as well, with Judd Nelson, Leonard Nimoy, Robert Stack, and Orson Welles. Yeah, Citizen Kane voiced Unicron. Watch this film, you won't be disappointed.

Black Mirror: USS Callister (2017) Season 4, Episode 1

Steve Wozniak as a sadist?

[5/10 · 26 January 2019]

Black Mirror is a fantastic anthology series with various episodes either loved or hated by its fans, and this one proves to be the most controversial. The premise of a genius coder ostracized, not taken seriously, and retreating to a fantasy world is not far fetched, but once in that world, he is cruel, angry, and at times murderous. At one point does the lead character display any these traits in the real world compared to the fantasy he created. Sure, he maybe angry at the people he deals with on a daily basis, but his actions in the fantasy world are far beyond any one persons normal reactions. He seemed kind, but reclusive to others, never showing any signs of sadism, yet he is completely cruel, hatefilled to his Callister "team"?

What truly makes this episode so polarizing is the ending. Although the episode is interesting, killing or shutting off the main characters brain made for great debate, but I t overall seemed like he was again being punished by those who so routinely brush him off in the real world. Why make the main protagonist suffer twice? This just seemed like this was overkill to an already shy and socially broken man, with the crew moving on victorious.

Lilyhammer (2012–2014)

It's ok

[4/10 · 25 January 2019]

Let's be honest, Steven Van Zant is not a lead actor as evidence by this show, and he's basically playing the same character he did on The Sopranos, just that he's now in Norway.

The show has a lot of promise, but the storylines are empty, the continuity errors are terrible, and the acting by SVZ is just plain awful. Watch this if you like, but don't get your hopes up, and there is no finale.

Get Out (I) (2017)

Propaganda

[1/10 · 10 January 2019]

I was so hyped to see this movie, and instead got nothing more than liberal propaganda fashioned as a horror movie. It was slow, off putting, racist, and disappointed me in every way. The idea was insanely stupid, and offered only the point of view from a warped black mind who believes in the racial bigotry of whites.

Liberal America loved this movie because they all believe white america really wants to be black, and we do everything, even steal their souls. Very sad anyone likes this crap.

The Predator (2018)

This is what we waited for?

[1/10 · 8 January 2019]

This movie may be the biggest disappointment in action films in the last twenty five years. It's a ridiculous build off of nostalgia, the casting is off putting, and the storyline is so so stupid. Global warming? Yup. Gay soldiers? Yup. Same stupid storyline as Predators with 2 different types? Yup. Olivia Munn as a scientist? What the frick?

I waited years for a descent Predator movie since the original, and Shane Black gives us a watered down homoerotic version that should've gone straight to DVD. Don't waste your time or emotion on nostalgia, you'll be disappointed with the result.