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Honestly, why do these celebs elicit such titanic emotional reactions from people?
Oh, and by the way, I don't know of as many generally-hated films that Ebert liked as I do films that he simply hated. Inform me of more.
White House Down (2013)
Meh. It's exactly what you'd expect.
It's about a group of terrorists taking over the White House, and the washed-up aspiring Secret Service agent who inadvertently gets roped in to stopping them and rescuing the President (so yes; it's basically Die Hard in the White House). It stars Channing Tatum and Jamie Fox, and was directed by Roland Emmerich. That description, honestly, should tell you everything you need to know.
The movie delivers, I guess, more or less everything one could reasonably expect from a movie with that premise, those actors and that director. It has explosions, shootouts and car chases. It has F15 fighter jets, M1 Abrams tanks, and black Cadillac SUVs. It has scenes of famous monuments getting destroyed, scenes of government and military officials sitting in conference rooms urgently discussing what do to, and scenes of frantic newscasts. It has a subplot about the protagonist reconnecting with his estranged daughter, and a subplot about the insider discovered to be collaborating with the terrorists. You know the drill.
In sum, it isn't terrible like Battlefield Earth or Gigli, and it isn't great like Gone With the Wind or Schindler's List. It's just a generic, ho-hum, so-okay-it's-average summer popcorn actioner, like Armageddon, Face/Off, Independence Day, Iron Man, Jurassic Park III, The Rock, Stealth, xXx and any number of others. Those who love this sort of stuff, of which there are plenty, will get exactly what they expect. Those who hate this sort of stuff, of which there are also plenty, will get exactly what they expect. If you just need some harmless, throwaway filler for movie night, a rainy afternoon or a bus trip, it'll suffice. If you want something with more originality, intelligence and substance, you'll have to look elsewhere.
Went through quite a troubled production, and it shows.
Having a movie's page on Wikipedia up whilst watching it so that you can keep up with an excessively-convoluted plot is something that I and many other people had to do with 'Inception' and 'Primer', but I have to say that I never expected to have to do that while watching a movie based on 'Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends', aimed at preschoolers.
To the best of my understanding; the film takes place across two parallel universes, the first being that inhabited by the anthropomorphic trains such as Thomas, and the second being the real world inhabited by, well, by us; by humans. Within Thomas' universe, the fat controller Sir Topham Hat has gone on vacation, leaving the Conductor in charge. In order to teleport between Thomas' universe and the real universe, the Conductor needs a supply of gold dust, and it's running out. If it was ever explained for what reason the Conductor needed to teleport between the two worlds, I'm afraid I missed it. Oh and for some strange reason, whenever he teleports to the real world, he appears as only about a foot tall. But I digress. Apparently there's another way to travel between the two worlds in the form of the eponymous magic railroad. Alas, the only train capable of traveling on it, named Lady, broke down years ago, and is kept in a cave in mountain where a melancholy old grandpa tends to it. In the meantime, a gang of evil diesel trains shows up in Thomas' world and starts scheming to destroy the steam trains. Their scheme involves making sure the Conductor's gold dust runs out, or finding the magic railroad, or... something.
Does any of this make any sense to you? Because it didn't to me. Things become even more confusing and bizarre. There's something to do with a clue that will lead to a windmill. And something to do with magic buffers that lead to the railroad. And these two flowers on the ends of vines that, I swear to god, are used by the Conductor as a telephone for contacting the fat controller.
How, anyone may ask, did a children's film end up as such an impenetrable, mixed-up mind-boggler? As I scrolled down on the aforementioned Wikipedia article, an answer was yielded. For one thing, the movie is actually not solely a Thomas the Tank Engine movie but a crossover between 'Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends' and an American TV series called 'Shining Time Station'. That, at least, should answer a few of the questions that British and Australian audiences might have. For another thing, rewrites. Apparently, this movie went through quite a troubled production. Originally running for an unbelievable 146 minutes, changes were made left and right that ranged from entire scenes and characters being cut to lines being re-dubbed on the patently absurd grounds that the original accents were "too offensive" or "too scary." Well, that's all there is to it. A potentially passable, innocent film ruined by behind-the-scenes nitpicking. Anyone who knows anything about movies knows how messing around too much with a script can eventually render the film in question incoherent. Just look at what happened with the 'The Stepford Wives' remake, and with 'Caligula'. (Dang, if there's one thing I never expected to do, it's mention 'Caligula' in a review of something pertaining to Thomas the Tank Engine).
Everybody talks about the 'Pingu Dreams' episode with the giant walrus. This one, oddly, seems to be overlooked, despite the fact that it's been banned just as widely as that episode and is, in at least my opinion, even creepier.
It involves Pingu misbehaving during the family dinner; rocking his chair and ending up pulling all the dishware off the table. His parents are furious and spank him (not something you expect to see in a children's program that often these days...), and he runs off into the night in tears. While his parents are able to enjoy some quiet time alone at home, he gets lost, nearly gets crushed by falling ice, and then (as far as I can understand) hallucinates that he's seeing ugly, menacing faces carved into the snowdrifts. One of them moves! Terrified, he runs and hides in an ice cave. His parents, realizing how late it is, come out in the post truck and find him and take him back home. It ends with the three of them sleeping in the same bed together... huh?
This episode really scared me when I was younger. I still sometimes get nightmares about. I was never fazed even slightly by 'Pingu Dreams'. Frankly, I don't quite know what the producers were aiming for when they did this episode.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
20 uses for Battlefield Earth
1. You could use the book as a doorstop. 2. You could put the book under an uneven chair or sofa leg. 3. You could use the book to prop open a window. 4. You could put the book in the boot of a rear wheel drive car to improve traction of snowy days. 5. You could us the book to club the Hollywood exec who greenlighted the movie. 6. You could use the book or DVD case to smack some sense into a scientologist. 7. If you were stranded on a desert island, you could tear out the pages of the book and use them as fire kindling. 8. You could year out the pages of the book and use them as toilet paper. 9. You could use the DVD as a coaster. 10. The CIA could use the book or DVD as an alternative to waterboarding. 11. The military could show the DVD or read the book to troops to toughen them up. 12. A gang or college fraternity could make watching the movie or reading the book part of a hazing ritual. 13. A dominatrix or master could use the book or DVD to torture or discipline a slave/submissive. 14. You could buy the book or DVD as a Christmas present for someone you don't like. 15. You could use the DVD as a frisbee to play fetch with your dog. 16. You could use it as a case study in an essay about the downfall of Western civilization. 17. Uwe Boll or Seltzer and Friedberg could watch the DVD to make them feel better about themselves. 18. You could carry the book or the DVD and a DVD player around in your purse and if someone comes to mug you, you could say "Back off! Or I'll read you/show you some of Battlefield Earth!" 19. You could tear out the pages of the book and use them as bedding for the cage of a pet rodent (preferably a rat). 20. You could use it to cheer up a blind person by telling them that they won't ever have to see the movie or read the book.
Disaster Movie (2008)
here is a list of some things that are funnier than ''Disaster Movie''
Here is a list of some things that are funnier than ''Disaster Movie'':
Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II
People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler
Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox
Other films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces
Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends