Reviews written by registered user

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129 reviews in total 
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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Don't S.W.E.A.T. it, 18 August 2017

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be the third "S.W.A.T" film, it's unrelated and even worse than the previous ones.

Because of it's limited budget almost the entire story takes place in one building and is basically a rip-off from "Assault On Precinct 13".

The cast is wooden and unbelievable and only one actor is worth mentioning (and the only familiar face) Michael Jai White. He once fought Van Damme (Universal Soldier: The Return) and Seagal (Exit Wounds) and is a real Martial Arts actor (also see Undisputed II for that). So that was over 10 years ago but he still looks great (certainly compared to Seagal..) Because of that fact we have a couple of decent (not great) fight scenes but the rest of the cast completely lacks acting- and fighting skills.

The shooting is bad, so is the godawful CGI blood. Many ridiculous moments in the story:

- The Commander of the team gets knocked out easily a couple of times by the bad guys (a S.W.A.T. Commander that is..).

- A S.W.A.T. team filled with 'tough' women ?

- When a MiniGun is fired from a van, it kills 2 people but there isn't a single bullet hole in the building right behind them.. I'm not kidding here. In real life it should have leveled the entire building but than again, that's were the entire movie takes place so a no-no for the writers.

"S.W.A.T." (2003) was, despite a good cast, a disappointing PG-13 film but compared to this it's Oscar material.

The Next Day... really ??, 10 August 2017

Before "American Pie" there was "Porky's". Truly "80's sex comedy at his best. "Porky's" spawned 2 sequels nowhere as funny as the original and rather forgettable.

After many years watching the trilogy again it's hard to believe that "The Next Day" does not only features the same cast, but the same director as well. It's not just a disappointing sequel, it's one of the worst sequels ever made.

24 hours after "Porky's" the characters make no sense at all and are totally unbelievable. The same sex craved, funny bunch from Part I are now totally into a serious Shakespeare's school play and butt heads with the local KKK because they have an Indian kid in the cast.. really ? How is this in any way funny or believable or even faithful to the original ? For a sex-comedy there's isn't any sex or fun at all. The fast-forward button is your only way out.

No wonder this one failed terribly at the box-office, "Porky's Revenge" was at least better but also a flawed sequel, on the upside Part III actually had the villain Porky back which was completely absent here..

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
.. And we still don't know why..., 27 July 2017

With a promising opening scene "Tonight She Comes" gets your hopes up but when the cast is introduced you know you're in for quite a turkey.. The characters are also extremely badly written and do the most stupid things possible when they are in peril. They are horny, clueless and we do not care for them at all. The director tries to mix horror with comedy but fails completely. Worse, the story goes downhill fast and the promising gore melts like snow for the sun.

Compared to classics like "Cabin Fever", "It Follows" or even "Evil Dead" this is simply awful. It reminds you of the (way better) "Shallow Ground" but the second half is really a turn-off with lots of dialogue and the dull story doesn't seem to make any sense at all. Even the obvious "John Carpenter inspired" score can't save this mess. Yes, the musical score is the only upside here..

Some gore but the real horror is the cast.., 20 July 2017

"Knucklebones" is a cheap imitation and throwback to '80 and '90 slashers like "Nightmare on Elm Street" and "Candyman". I love that slasher era, but "Knucklebones" is even for the die-hard fan no fun to watch.

It's frustrating watching how these people are trying to act (See how I didn't use the word 'actors'?). The five young friends who spend the night in the haunted factory look pretty but seem to be picked right off the street instead out of an actual acting agency. I highly doubt they will ever appear in anything else.

The dialogue is dull and laughable at best. When it's revealed that the demon can speak you really wish he couldn't. A lame story without any tension and mostly cheap effects so even for the gore hounds it's not that interesting.However, there are a couple of decent gore scenes. One scene worth mentioning is when the demon Knucklebones appears but that ripped off "Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge". Terrorised by the demon, a couple still thinks it's smart to have sex (..?!), this results in a death scene which totally rips off "Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday". You're better off watching those series again instead of this.. Even the "Candyman" sequels were Oscar material compared to this mess..

Action Star Brian Bosworth deserved more decent films !, 19 July 2017

Woow, the early 90's.. Martial arts action films were more popular than ever and cinema and especially video was dominated by real macho action stars like Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Dolph Lundgren, Brandon Lee, Jeff Wincott, Lorenzo Lamas and Jeff Speakman. It was a great era and after the successful "Stone Cold" former NFL star Brian Bosworth starred in another excellent action film "One Tough Bastard" (aka One Man's Justice). With good fight scenes, an interesting story and well played characters we have a better than usual action film. Bosworth certainly has charisma like Van Damme and shows he really can act.

A movie is as good as his villain and here we have MC Hammer (!!) AND Bruce Payne. Payne will always be known as the criminal mind Charles Rane in Wesley Snipes' "Passenger 57" but as Agent Karl Savak this is Payne at his best: Over the top arrogant and very entertaining to watch. Also look out for Robert La Sardo, at that time he played in similar films like "Hard To Kill, "Out For Justice" and "Last Man Standing" More recently, he made the horror film "Parlor".

Too bad Bosworth only starred in 2 good films. "Black Out" was flawed and "Virus" and "Back In Business" were awful. But that's not his fault: after 1996 the martial arts era dried up. Van Damme and Seagal were forever doomed to star in cheaper home video releases and we never again saw classics like "Hard Target", "Under Siege", "TimeCop" or "Marked for Death". It even took 12 years before another "Die Hard" film saw the light of day.. Ooh, I really miss the good old days..

Savage Dog (2017)
9 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
Scott Adkins once again proves why he's the New Action Star, 27 April 2017

"Savage Dog" reminds you of the 80's and 90's action movies when the action scene was dominated by real tough heroes like Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Norris, Seagal and Van Damme. Unfortunately, times have changed and we don't see many of those anymore. "Expendables 2" wasn't the first time Adkins worked with his role model Van Damme. Adkins already made some good action movies in the last decade and is best known as Boyka in the "Undisputed" franchise. After the flawed "Hard Target 2" it's nice to see he's back in shape again. "Savage Dog" is very similar to Adkins own "Ninja: Shadow of a Tear" which remains one of his better efforts.

An action movie is as good as his villain is and here we have three ! All excellent actors and/or fighters like Marko Zaror (Undisputed III, Machete Kills, Redeemer). By the way check out "Redeemer" if you never saw it, great martial arts movie ! Than there's Cung Lee (Dragon Eyes). His final fight with Adkins is outstanding.

Which brings us to the action: a lot of breathtaking fight scenes (think of Kickboxer, Savate, Lionheart) but the last half hour is when the real action takes place: a lot of shoot-outs, knife fights and the kills are bloody and brutal. The body count is extremely high. It's "Rambo" or "Commando" of the new millennium.

If you like the titles mentioned above, don't miss out on this one.

2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Another blueprint for "Why Action Films Are So Bad These Days", 25 April 2017

"Check Point" takes off with an action/fight scene that is so incredibly laughable and bad that most viewers turn of at once. So why watch the rest ? Well, it has a well known cast/stuntmen from past decades:

- William Forsythe (Out For Justice, Stone Cold, The Rock, Devil's Rejects, Halloween 2007) - Bill Goldberg (WWE / Universal Soldier: The Return) - Tyler Mane (Michael Myers in Halloween 2007 en Halloween II 2009) - Fred Williamson (most memorable in From Dusk Till Dawn) - Kane Hodder (All round stuntman and played Jason four times, also starred in the Hatchet trilogy as Victor Crowley)

Sadly, all the characters are badly written, they have nothing to work with. The "based on true events" story is anything but interesting. The rest of the cast is wooden at best. Nothing really happens until the last 15 minutes but enduring more cheap and badly choreographed action is disappointing and heartbreaking. Is this what an action movie is these days ? Even as a drama or serious movie "Check Point" falls flat on it's face.

So sad, it's like watching another Steven Seagal turkey and remember: he had some awesome action films back in the day. But again, that seems to be ancient history, so sad.. Skip this turkey, regardless of these once great actors..

2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Mediocre slasher but with very gory and bloody killings 80's style !, 23 February 2017

"All Through The House" is hardly original and in fact a homage to the early 80's slasher area. The story combines elements from classic horror films like "Prom Night" and "Sleepaway Camp" and is the best Santa Slasher next to the classic cult film "Silent Night Deadly Night".

The acting varies from average to good, especially the 'final girl' character is well played. The killer's look is eerie what also can be said about the score, the music works well and delivers during the suspenseful scenes.

In this day and age we're 'treated' with bogus and godawful CGI effects but not this time: the special effects are prosthetic and done without any CGI and come off realistic: brutal, bloody, gory and over the top. They remind you of films like "The Prowler", "Hatchet" and the early "Friday the 13th" films. There's no Tom Savini at work here but some effects come close. Many copycat slasher after "Friday" and "Halloween" had lousy and cheap effects but here you get your money's worth.

If you like those films, be sure to check this one out. It will never be a classic, but a nice addition to the genre.

The Cell 2 (2009) (V)
One of the worst sequels ever made.., 21 November 2016

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I never saw this one because of the terrible reviews. But after watching "The Cell" (2000) again, an amazing movie, I couldn't resist the only sequel ever made. "The Cell 2" isn't just a bad sequel, it's possibly one of the worst sequels ever made. Lopez is replaced by Tessie Santiago, a cheap TV actress with no charisma at all. She can't act and you really do not care about this cardboard character.

The entire cast is unknown with the exception of Frank Whaley. And there is just one of this movie's many flaws: he's introduced as a minor character but you instantly know that he will be playing a major part in the movie since he's the only one with any talent.. so he has to be the 'mysterious' killer. After 30 minutes you realize that you're actually right.

Whaley is known for "Broken Arrow" and "Vacancy". In "Vacancy" he was actually scary and menacing. Here he's rather laughable and unconvincing because the character and dialogue is just plain bad. Not his fault, blame the 'writer' and 'director' for that one.

The budget is limited and we're treated with some bad Nintendo 32-bit effects, it's just painful to watch. The story has nothing to do with the original (mainly because of -again- budget reasons) and could easily been reduced to 45 minutes as a (rather bad) episode of "Criminal Minds".

Like "Mimic 3", or any sequel after part 4 in the "Hellraiser" and "Amityville" series just a cash-in sequel in name only but this one just takes the cake..

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
I Really gotta stop watching the latest Seagal flicks.., 13 July 2016

Steven Seagal was one of the biggest action stars of the '90's. From his smashing debut "Above the Law"" (aka Nico, 1988) all his movies were a box office hit and among the better action movies ever made. He was cool, charismatic and his best role was Casey Ryback in his biggest success "Under Siege" (1992). His contract with Warner Bros. ended after the box office failure "Fire Down Below" (1997). Just like "On Deadly Ground" (1994), still an underrated movie in my opinion with an excellent cast, a good story and jaw dropping action. We once again saw a glimmer of his success in the box office hit "Exit Wounds" (2001) but after that, the legend was history. Up until then, his incredible filmography gave him a lot of credit and the fans (like myself) kept watching turkey after turkey after turkey..

There were some average movies like "A Dangerous Man" and "Driven To Kill" but hardly worth mentioning. We kept believing in a resurrection of the Action Man of the '90's but it never happened and frankly, it never will. Seagal is too old, too fat and totally out of shape. Add the cheap production values and bring on the latest Seagal Flick "Code Of Honor";

It's a poor man's "The Punisher" but lacks story, character development and even tension. It's downright boring and the action consists of CGI gunshots and CGI blood. Co-star Graig Sheffer is best known for the horror hit "Nightbreed" (1990). It's obvious that the man hasn't aged well either. He could actually play a creature in Nightbreed 2 without any make up. His acting is the same as the rest of the cast: uninspired and sleepwalking through this mess.

I've been a fan of Steven Seagal since the beginning and still love his old movies: Hard To Kill, Marked For Death, Out For Justice, Under Siege 1&2, Glimmer Man: I've seen them a dozen of times. I'm going to watch them again and forget about the fact that's he's still trying to make more.

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