Reviews written by registered user
Jon_Death

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137 reviews in total 
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0 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
A career killer, 10 February 2010
4/10

Movies this bad tend to kill a lot of actors careers or at least push them out of the spotlight for a while. I think when you're an actor and sign onto scripts so cliché and void of creativity, it reflects poorly upon you as a performer and what you can bring to a performance in future productions.

I used to work at a blockbuster and can't get over how often the papers, TV shoes and people on the internet carry on about how good a movie was that meanwhile, literally over a hundred customers will come in frowning over. This was one of those movies.

Predictable, unintelligent, arrogant, slow and just a waste of our time and money. It's everything a thriller shouldn't be. At point are you held in suspense or questioning what will happen next. While the opposition of the internet always brings about the dogs of the industry that won't tolerate any ill words towards the industry, people of the real world are generally on the same page and this is one of those movies. Absolutely terrible.

10 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
Another example of how NOT to cast nor make a sequel, 10 February 2010
4/10

First off the primary character is played by an actor that sounds like a cross between Elmer Fudd and a 4 year old with a slight speech impediment. I'm not exaggerating with this description, this guy probably had years of speech therapy growing up. You do however get used to it but what you don't get used to is how bad the movie is.

Now since this is a sequel, you expect some relation to the first movie but beyond the gangs it's based on, there is none. Bad writing, bad direction and a lot of failure in it's attempt to be gritty, edgy and violent. The acting is fine, the story is just boring and lacks creativity.

Based on the first movie, this should have been a second attempt to tell more or less the same story. Another outsider sucked into the world of violent street fighting on the streets of England or maybe just somewhere in the U.K. that could be linked to the original's plot. While showing us these gangs in prison was a good idea, the execution was however a failure. It wasn't just that it was done so poorly but that it completely alienates itself from the original movie.

It's not even a sequel, it's pretending to be. I gave it a 4 because it at least looks like a professional production and has some decent moments. You should still avoid it if you are a fan of the original.

5 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
did a 12 year old write this??, 10 February 2010
1/10

When this movie was promoted, it was said to be the next star wars. This being one of the most ridiculous claims a film maker has ever made which will stick in my mind for the rest of my life.

As an action movie, this is actually a damn good movie. But in terms of storyline, plot, cast, creativity and more, it's a hilarious disappointment. Tiny Zeus Lister as president was one of the worst casting decisions ever made. Every time you see him with his crooked goofy eye you can't help but chuckle.

Then of course the character that is more or less the writer's "christ" character of a virgin birth, is also a virgin and about 20 years younger than our hero, of course develops feelings for him and by the end of the movie, the could be romance is a reality.

This is just a VERY stupid movie by a VERY overrated Euro trash film maker. For the last 25 years these guys have pitched ideas to American studios and it must be something about their accents winning these robot driven executives over because they make an awful lot of crap that any semi intelligent person would read and think "you wanna do what??". Only someone completely void of artistic sense would green light such disaster.

0 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
The crap that passes for "art" these days, 9 February 2010
6/10

With all the praise this movie has achieved, it was just begging for a negative review. This is like watching a bad stage play on film which finds success or failure simply by catching people in the right or wrong mood. The right mood gets it glorified as art, the wrong mood gets is valued for what it is-a cheese ball script that those attached believed would translate as "art".

Our opening scene is of course one written and cast for shock value. Our lead character is greeted by a naked man at a gate that clearly has no reservations about full frontal male nudity which really doesn't make it any less disgusting. The grotesqueness of his genitals is equal to something in a national geographic documentary from the 70's. One has to assume that if this was the very first penis every girl saw in her life, the human species would face extinction due to a dominant trend of lesbianism taking over the female gender.

After a generous amount of boredom, our lead finds herself neighbor to who I can only describe as a cross between the cowardly lion and...well Robby Downey Jr. which surprisingly enough is the very actor portraying the character. His introduction explains the title of the movie. If you didn't know, this guy is HAIRY and not just David Hasselhoff or Burt Reynolds hairy, we're talking legend of Bigfoot Hairy. We're talking the first justifiable 500 dollar haircut hairy. Our lead being a female human being of course finds some bizarre sexual attraction to this grotesque mutation of the species. I suppose it's the allure of bestiality without actually having to make the barnyard commitment. One also has to wonder if those suffering from this disease have a penis laden in hair like a pipe cleaner.

OK, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit and it's not really the disaster I'm insisting but it IS more silly than artistic which is what made these 10 page reviews of glorification and praise annoying. I also can't help but comment that if you're going to include nudity in films, at least have the courtesy for it to be nudity we'll ENJOY seeing. I don't mean cheesy 80's spring break skin flick nudity but also not the kind that makes you want to run to a Catholic church and douse your eyes in Holy Water even though you're not even Catholic.

If you can make it through the first 20 minutes, it's worth watching. It's just a very weird movie and certainly won't find an audience with everyone.

Stuck (2007)
1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
WoW!, 7 February 2010
10/10

I remember when this news story circulated, it was one of those too crazy too be made up situations. Meanwhile, it sure took a film maker a long time to adapt it to film!

Just the same, this is a very entertaining movie. There's an underlying element of humor no matter how serious the content may be. It's sort of a dark comedy in disguise. There were times I KNEW I shouldn't have been laughing but I was cackling out loud and sometimes hard enough where it turns into that "silent" laugh cuz you've run out of air. It's pretty difficult to get me to laugh externally let alone with a lot of noise.

Don't rent this movie, BUY this movie. It has very high rewatch value making it one to own and unleash on unsuspecting friends. With each even that occurs, you're left in a state of shock.

It's movies like this that salvage the reputation of the entertainment industry, if only just for a little while.

25 out of 53 people found the following review useful:
Wow it's like a bum off the street wrote/directed it!, 31 January 2010
1/10

This is a really bad film selling tickets with promises in the advertisements it is unable to live up to. You get one bad scene after another that seem as though an 8th grader with an overactive imagination wrote and directed them.

The opening is solid but as soon as we get our lead death, everything starts to smell a little funny. By the time Mel is subduing his first lead, the stench can no longer be ignored. Finally upon getting solid answers, the odor of this movie scumming up the air is too much to bear!

This is a really U N I N T E L L I G E N T movie! The circumstances of death are beyond convenient, they're pure fantasy. The action scenes try to be clever with that chain reaction feel and in doing so, it's like watching some stupid kid trying to convince you when he jumped up in the air, he was in fact flying for those 2 seconds just like superman.

The potential was there, the directing and writing just got arrogant and relied on the viewer to be for lack of better terms, just plain stupid and naive-void of intelligence and objectionable thinking. Not even worth it for the action scenes or if you're a Mel Gibson fan.

8 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
Worth your time and dollar, 26 January 2010
10/10

Good story, solid acting and the twists are sensible rather than out of thin air which is getting common these days. Believable characters, storyline, action scenes and you're not put in a position where you have but no choice to criticize the film makers.

This is a good crime suspense drama. The legal scenarios are realistic and don't rely on an ideal legal system that doesn't exist. The chain of events are executed perfectly without getting congested by sub plots or useless scenes. While a couple of the actors are over the top and look a bit goofy in a couple scenes, the overall character performances by the cast are strong and real.

This is a good movie where the IMDb ratings simply aren't doing it justice. Worth your dollar and time.

Avatar (2009)
23 out of 72 people found the following review useful:
Haha are you F'ing kiddin me?!, 21 December 2009
1/10

Most important thing to point out is how bad the creatures look. The animation is sub par while the premise is absolutely ridiculous. I don't know or care when this was written but they're clearly trying to represent the invasion of Iraq even if only the slightest bit.

This is a child's movie or a family movie. I suppose if you're a young adult that grew up with digital animation your brain is more accepting but the concept is just silly. I don't believe the ratings of IMDb but I suppose with the popularity of RPG's, this film had a massive demography that rushed out to see it and fell in love.

I love science fiction, fantasy and action. The acting is good, the scenario is decent but the appearance of the avatars was really bad in my opinion. They look like a cross between cats and really tall Africans. It's simply not for the high strung.

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Predictable but it delivers, 16 December 2009
10/10

It's a revenge story. The elements to set the plot are of course nothing new but, the characters and dialog keep things interesting and the action scenes are well done. You may think how is a character this age going to pull off revenge but, the scenarios are well written enough for it to believable. They even capitalize on his age vs youth as well as him making foolish mistakes that are an act of the character, rather than a film makers short comings.

This is worth at least watching 2 or 3 times. There's not a lot of insight or a real message to speak of, it's just quality entertainment with good dramatic dialog and believable action scenes.

6 out of 28 people found the following review useful:
Worst show to survive beyond the pilot, 24 November 2009
1/10

Other than cop rock and that show where the kid dies from eating a spoiled hamburger he found under the bed, this has consistently been the worst and dumbest show to survive prime time. If not for Jason Lee's unjustifiable success in film, this show would have never made it out of conception if pitched with a relatively unknown as the lead.

The concept is TERRIBLE. Moron redneck hick spends his lottery winnings to redeem himself with the white trash of his past. Is it funny? periodically but not consistently. Is it stupid? Each and every single episode.

I've seen a lot of great shows come then go before their time yet this blunder has survived longer than I ever could have imagined. The dialog is incredibly unfunny as are the episode themes. Every episode for someone with an IQ over 100 is an absolute struggle. And the icing on the cake? Jason Lee's annoying voice narrating each episode. If it weren't for the state's Southern culture and rednecks of the south, this show wouldn't have an audience.

If you're a moron and need a show completely lacking humor yet overflowing with bad taste, bad dialog and dimwit characters failing at life...well then you're probably an actor on this show.


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