Reviews written by
Jon Death

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147 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

Sanctum (2011)
4 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
You've seen it, 7 February 2011

If you seek film content that was born from a deep, literary work of intelligence or art, this isn't it. For your paint by numbers action suspense drama though, it certainly delivers. The lies behind the advertising are what ultimately knocked it down to a 1 out of 10 stars. I'm sick of being abused by the greed of actors, directors and producers as well as the studios manufacturing them.

Sometimes it's a giant boat, sometimes it's a mountain, maybe it's the forest...well this time, it's a cave.

This is that standard survivalist movie where some experts get in over their heads while exploring the unknown and what was once an exploration of curiosity, is now a quest for survival.

Unfortunately most of us have seen this movie's fraternal twins. The characters are exactly the same, the dynamics between them are exactly the same and even the casualties and mercy killings are exactly the same. In fact this movie has been made so many times, the claim behind this one being based on a true story is too demanding for me. Between the lies of Hollywood, government and the people that generally find their funding for such explorations from primarily these two sources, should we really trust any of this?

More often than not we find out the true story is anecdotal even when told with the utmost detail. More often than not, we find out most the actors, directors and writers of Hollywood completely fudge their resumes and biographies. So even if every scene of this movie is true to the reality, does it really matter when it's entertainment.

Something for the parents to take the kids to see so they don't get left out.

Machete (2010)
2 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
America is doomed, everyone is brainwashed!, 27 December 2010

Hollywood, the corporate government and big business have lowered the standard of quality so much over the last 10 years that nobody seems to be able to fairly grade the quality of anything anymore. Ugly is the new pretty, skinny is the new muscular and cheap is the new bargain.

This movie is terrible. Bad acting, poor dialog, terrible effects, stupid characters. The list of things wrong with this movie is basically endless. The only thing I liked about it was it being modeled after vintage 70's films. This is truly a racy kids movie or screwball teens movie. Any young adult seeing this and giving it praise must be on a lot of drugs or 10 years behind the maturing curve their peers have adjusted to. This is absolutely a straight to DVD B movie that was given a massive studio budget and a lot of commercial promotion.

Sadly, we're a nation of childish young adult drunks and pill poppers that just don't expect very much from the commercial market. Crap made in China they figure is worth the cost even if it only lasts a year and absurd screwball movies where heads explode when shot, white people are pure evil and criminal Mexicans entering America illegally are respectable patriots that should be admired. Pure propaganda taking advantage of a brainwashed youth! That's right, white people are evil, illegal immigrants breaking the law are American patriots. That's what Rodriguez is portraying.

15 out of 29 people found the following review useful:
IMDb is abusing our trust, 25 December 2010

They're clearly doctoring the ratings of these movies now, just as the TV, newspapers and magazines do to steal our hard earned money. This movie is basically unwatchable though I suppose if you're a 16 year old that has still yet to learn what sex is and spends most of your time at home or the mall, you might find something about this childish movie entertaining.

The story is recycled, it's Toy Soldiers or Red Dawn with today's budget. The acting is passable at best but the writing is so sin awful it's just not enough. Quentin Tarantino and a cast of Oscar winners could not make this retched film entertaining. This is a world where a group of horny rebellious teens from a small town take on a mysterious Asian army that has chosen to invade them. You can call this a spoiler but I will debate you because the real spoil is watching this movie. 8 idiot children take down an army while the adults cower and obey.

For every ratings see above a 5 for this movie, I wish I could create 10 dummy accounts to give it a nice deserving dose of negative 10's. Save your money, your time, your ears, eyesight and brains. Do NOT give this movie the attention it does not deserve and can not earn.

Robin Hood (2010)
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
This isn't Robin Hood!, 11 December 2010

This is a war movie! Robin Hood is based on the legend of a man robbing English royals then turning the riches over to the poor. Instead, we get this thundering pile of crap calling itself Robin Hood with absolutely no set up. These scene opens with Robin Hood leading an army in an attempt to overtake a castle.

Russel Crowe is surely the worst action hero I have ever had the misfortune of watching. He's dry yet animated which makes for a hero that is altogether an annoying douche bag that is performed in the tradition of a sidekick. Unfortunately people today are flocking to the theaters with their families to see anything that has a big name and a huge studio budget. Crowe looks like he couldn't fight his way through a wet paper napkin.

We've simply reached a point in theater where you've seen one of these movies, you've seen them all. Nobody is putting enough hard work into the scripts in terms of originality so we're stuck relying on the actors and production crew to give the film personality.

"V" (2009)
12 out of 24 people found the following review useful:
Worst new show on television with a capital T, 7 December 2010

Absolutely TERRIBLE casting, bad writing, poor directing and half the characters annoy me. There's a reason this cast hasn't had more than marginal fame before this show, they're all completely forgettable.

17 different producers. 9 different writers. 3 directors and counting.

This is very clearly the product of some executives that don't know the first thing about what it takes to create a quality show. What makes it worse is, they have ruined a cult classic and stuffed it down the throats of fat half wit Americans and Americanized foreigners that let the radio, television and magazines tell them what to think, like and what is of course, cool.

This show is not cool. This show is not what to like. This show is not what you think. This show is a primary example of imperialism and corporate greed at it's worst. With the underground scene supporting the likes of David Icke and Alex Jones, these low lives decided to try and capitalize on this cultural movement and following. Instead, they completely missed the target audience and built a following of zombies.

There are two types of people in this world, those that know what is really going on, who are an insignificant minority, and those that THINK they know what's going on and rely on the television to tell them.

This show is for the soulless zombies of planet earth that are dazzled by stupid, illogical special effects and aliens with magic like science.

16 out of 27 people found the following review useful:
Being kept in the dark, 22 November 2010

This is one of those films that keeps you guessing and maybe even a little lost to what's going on but without sabotaging itself. Is it about a demonic haunting or could it be about a man who's lost his mind? Eventually the question is answered and the trip getting there is very entertaining. There isn't a lot of gore or creature effects but what we do see is done incredibly well. That brings me to my single criticism is that the creatures should have been given more screen time however, it was essentially to merely give us glimpses because of the premise of the film.

Great independent thriller/suspense/horror with very high rewatch value.

Due Date (2010)
19 out of 37 people found the following review useful:
What an insult to the American consumer!, 13 November 2010

This film fails in every sense. There was clearly almost no script and the duo simply signed onto work with one another out of admiration. We're clearly seeing a lot of failed improvisation. The film definitely has it's moments but there is no consistent progress of humor. A good comedy is one that picks up speed, this one never manages to get it's start. It's disappointing since I find these two actors and the friends they had appear in cameos tend to pick their jobs quite well and with the intentions of delivering a quality product for the hard working consumer.

Further more, it absolutely disgusts me to see the ballot box stuffed. Nobody other than the actors, friends and family would give this turd wad such positive reviews. This movie is a 4 at best, maybe a 4.5 because of the action scenes and random jokes that do turn out to be funny.

Really, it's a failed tribute to Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I think I would have gotten a bigger laugh out of watching Downey get arrested for cocaine possession and a handgun.

The 11th Hour (2007/I)
1 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Complete propaganda, 31 October 2010

Leave it to a pinhead actor with less than a high school education who of course with his money, does the claimed damage of 2-3 dozen people rather than 1 with the massive houses, private jets, speed boats, yachts, sports cars etc to then tell us we're bad and killing THEIR planet earth. That's right, this planet doesn't belong to us. It belongs to the rich and we just work here. We're also evil and ruining their paradise according to them.

But look at the unbiased data and you find out this is one huge lie. The earth has been rising in temperature at as steady consistent rate that has not changed what so ever since long before and after the introduction of modern technology and manufacturing. In fact, the Piri Reis map shows an arctic completely void of ice just 500 years ago and details the land mass precisely to a degree that is only matched by modern satellite imaging.

How can this be? It seems that contrary to the establishments propaganda, the facts tell a completely different story. One where the arctic clearly goes through stages of thawing only to reconstitute itself and maintain the tundra as it has done since long before the recorded history of modern man. So while some praise this work of fiction, I dismiss it for the propaganda it is.

It's the reason we have morons like Al Gore literally trying to tax the air you breath and expel while actors like Jeff Bridges promote the sale of disposable batteries which get flung into a pile we pretend not to notice outside by the hundreds of billions every year. So what we and the plants call life, they call pollution. What you and I call deception, they call profit. So of course we should support them, they're on TV! That makes them better than us because they're rich for doing the easiest job on earth and having little to no education! Of course they're smarter than we are, they have millions of dollars which they were paid because they're very good at lying to us.

So you pay for your breathing and farting tax while the stupid people like myself worry about the toxic garbage like batteries being thrown in our backyard and tucked into a pile covered with dirt we're all programmed to ignore. The only thing about the air concerning me is the crap we're putting into it is killing us, not the planet.

16 out of 40 people found the following review useful:
Solid action flick, 30 October 2010

Similar to Vacancy but we get a more realistic scenario and a better hero. This one excludes the glitz Hollywood adds to take you further into believable delusion and depicts a more believable scenario.

The action is good, suspense is good and the acting is good although annoying at times. It's a slow ride to the top then comes shooting straight down nice and fast and then it's over. A good, short roller coaster feel and an open ending not intended to leave you thinking, "ooo maybe they'll make another".

If you avoid broadcast television, huge idiotic names and 10 dollar ticket prices for some brainwashing nonsense that hires actors who are imposed upon us as royalty, you will enjoy this movie.

45 out of 122 people found the following review useful:
What corrupt establishments won't admit, 27 October 2010

Is detailed highly between the lines in this educational documentary and to all the skeptics that ask why, I recommend you review the other installments to this series that interview sophisticated stone masons with the strongest and most sophisticated machinery today who say with even this technology, we are not even close to being capable of achieving such results.

But it gets taken further. The Piri Reis Map proves global warming is a lie and simply a natural occurrence. This 500 year old map shows the arctic without ice and more so, it shows it's land mass accurately long before according to the establishment, it was even discovered by man. Even with this damning evidence, these liars will look us dead in the eye and maintain the same lies.

What many will overlook is this documentary proves the existence of a one world government telling us all the same lies and knowing they can never, EVER look at anything in this world and say "we don't know". Their control comes from having what they claim to be the absolute answers based on their science. This is how we get lunatics like Al Gore trying to tax the air we breath. The man is a bright and shining example of the liars poisoning both our bodies and minds.

Review the other pieces to this History Channel series, Ancient Aliens. While they focus on these monuments, the real message they're trying to pass onto us is that we're being lied to on a global scale. In fact, the people lying to us today are in fact very likely those these sacred technologies have been passed onto from one generation to the next and gradually rehidden from the masses since we no longer believe the tales of magic, witches and gods.

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