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Jon_Death

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146 reviews in total 
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You and I (2011)
48 out of 76 people found the following review useful:
WOW some seriously stupid crap, 10 February 2012
1/10

There's no real story here. The movie relies on being foreign to make it interesting but it's just not. The characters are underwritten and majority of the events underwritten as well. The directing was equally as bad as the writing. I wonder how these actors have careers when they pick their scripts so poorly.

Then there is a happy ending that is incredibly convenient and boring. It's a failed attempt at a cutting edge, rock'n'roll flick that is really just glorifying karaoke.

The reviewer praising this with 10 stars and a deranged, raving positive review probably wrote this hunk of crap lol. Whenever I see a review so over the top for a movie so incredibly bad it's pretty much a given someone that worked on the movie wrote it.

Don't pay to see this and honestly, don't waste your time if you can see it for free.

2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Well if you're stupid and trust television...., 24 October 2011
1/10

You will probably like this slow, boring, anticlimactic movie that makes zero sense and relies on you being a sheople with chewing gum for brains. I must admit, I am no longer 14 but even when I was I never got sucked into these camcorder "oh my gosh is it real?" tard-fests.

So you watch this pile of crap for an hour and 18 minutes and finally the protagonist's back and neck get broken cirque de soleil style by a psychic witch.

So do not get angry and claim I ruined this movie for you. The idiot that wrote and directed this fly breeding pile ruined it for you. The first installment of this series is good. The second is absolute terrible and the third...well it's not as bad as the second but it certainly doesn't make amends for it either.

Run run run fast as you can and if you're stupid enough to pay to view this movie, you're clearly too stupid to know you are entitled by U.S. Federal commercial legislation code to a REFUND when you are unhappy because it failed to meet up to expectations.

9 out of 19 people found the following review useful:
Another sour coming of age flick, 15 September 2011

Hollywood has done so much damage to American culture that much if not most of our society has been reduced to watching these "coming of age" styled movies rather than actually going through it. The reality is, nobody's coming of age is so poetic unless it's bought and paid for and 9 times of 10 if it is, it's because that teen was an actor cast as one of the principle characters in one of these movies.

When we are younger, I think these movies serve as validation to the way many of us have seen the world and been treated by it. With the artistic nature of humans at both an all time high and oppression, it created a demographic that has remained stable and growing for years. Targeting either those that hold out through college hoping to experience what they missed out on during junior high and high school or those that get flushed straight into the blue collar job market and spend the rest of their youth with a feeling of unfinished business.

This is why I detest these movies. It essentially shows the target audience that had they found their era to come of age early in life, it would have ended abruptly with gross disappointment and turned them into one more sheople who eventually turns to an unhealthy outlet so they can live with their disappointments and fulfill the position of insignificance the establishment has reserved for every last one of us. So no matter what Hollywood's depiction of this base concept is, the end product is always the same. A sour ending for our protagonist or a right of passage is achieved and we're just the suckers that paid to watch this load of crap since we've been oppressed into a position in life where we can not actually live it.

I feel a healthy concept for these movies is one where they're just not serious. Our culture is truly standing still and our youth relies on music and movies to show them the truth and the way. While I know film and television will NEVER do this and commercial music is currently leading them to a dead end, films should serve as a form of therapy and this just isn't it!

At this point the only difference between the working class American and the industrial working class Chinese is, the stuff we own is nicer.

4 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Can you turn that up to 11?, 19 July 2011
10/10

This movie recaptures the magic that seems to have been lost after the early 90's. You all remember E.T., The Never Ending Story, The Crow, The Karate Kid and the massive list from this generation that is over satisfyingly long. Then at some point in the mid 90's, the corporations seemed to become run by robotic automation and it's well under a dozen films per decade that embody the magic of that era.

This film has it all and is one for the family if your kids are verging on teen years. One review claims no substance and I must thoroughly disagree, it's a very well rounded, evenly spread substance with the action and characterization so liberal it's spilling over. You keep wanting more, you keep getting more but unlike the open endings of the era we all so long for, I doubt there will ever be a sequel.

Unfortunately that's just the way this business now works but, one priceless gem is most definitely better than none. Well worth the cost of owning.

Disappearance (2002) (TV)
2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
If only......, 3 July 2011
10/10

More movie makers would stop relying on huge budgets and focus on writing and getting your actors well practiced as well as rehearsed with one another. I think when a cast puts in the pre-production time with one another, it really makes a huge difference once they start shooting. If you have that, interesting material and a skilled production crew, you don't need to invest millions of dollars into the film.

This is a good movie if you enjoy science fiction, thrillers and mysteries. I am not into today's 80 million dollar schlock that has been turned into the prized gems of the major film studios. Give me an interesting story that isn't predictable, a solid cast of actors and a talented production crew any day.

Basically a family is in the desert with a tag along friend of the son, they run into some weird townies on their way to a ghost town and weird s**t starts to happen. Since it's made for TV, they really had to rely on creating a weird and interesting mystery so don't expect gore or dazzling effects. Just some creativity and a weird, almost senseless ending that may or may not tick you off. No dragging on, no bad acting and no senseless characters. This is a well made for TV movie.

We have literally reached a point where what should be made for the big screen is being made for TV and what is being made for the big screen...probably shouldn't be made at all!

Love Crime (2010)
2 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Slow and clever, 9 June 2011
7/10

This is of course by no means an ingenious film and yes, the pace is slow but I still found it very entertaining. I liked the characters because they were odd due to being both sensible and insensible. Things move slowly and finally when we get our crime, it seems to occur out of nowhere though not without reason.

From there we observe some slightly confusing resolutions but they don't hold permanence. Vindication is somewhat of a "yeah, I saw that coming" but the twist should keep you thrown for at least a little bit. The ending revelation was a bit sloppy but I liked the element it added. It just should have been executed a little bit more cleverly.

If you like crime mysteries, murder mysteries or maybe even thrillers though this is not really the latter, a little patience should have you enjoying this for a one time viewing. I like to see films that are well thought out then constructed and seem like they were or at least should have been accomplished on a very sensible budget. This is often the difference between making a film and the polished up trash I refer to as a movie. If you spend enough money, even hot stinky garbage can be made to look appetizing!

4 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Terrible movie, stuffed IMDb ballot box, 18 April 2011
1/10

This movie is not worth my efforts. It's all expensive imagery. Sexy women, flashy effects, artistic sets and a horrible story line that makes almost no sense. I sure wish I could go into a hallucination and have super human ninja skills that carried over into reality.

They claim 83 million dollars as though CGI is still as expensive as it was 20 years ago. Sorry but millions of people floating around with degrees, certifications etc in CGI, it's a long process but not exactly an expensive one. Way to go Hollywood, you are screwing the fans out of their money and pulling over a tax scam on the IRS by claiming losses.

If you're going to use eye candy as a major selling point, wouldn't it pay to use actresses with at least medium sized breasts if not huge?

I rest my case!

Stagger (2009)
15 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
Amateur film makers beware!, 6 April 2011
1/10

People like me will not be kind towards your disasters on screen. Terrible acting, poor writing and an overall lack of artistry by the entire crew. The music sounds like some idiot bought an expensive keyboard, smack around the keys for a week and thought he/she was amazing.

You could choose to use a piece written that relies on the actors and recruit from local colleges and theaters which means reliable performers that won't cost you anything but no, you hire your dimwit friends who make a bad situation worse.

Some advice. RELY ON A GOOD STORY. Stop trying to produce these ground breaking, independent films hitting a niche audience because you fail miserably every time. If you want to build a career in this industry, your current formula is not the way to do it. A good story with basic settings doesn't require much work from a crew which considering the quality of these types of movies, is mediocre in size and inexperienced.

In fact, just write your piece AROUND the film locations and have it rely on human interaction and events simple to create. These amateur gangster, horror and action movies are just awful and an embarrassment to those who worked on them.

26 out of 47 people found the following review useful:
Hollywood hates us, 10 February 2011
1/10

Hollywood has created this audience of tens of millions, probably hundreds of millions globally, who have been conditioned to laugh at anything stated in an arrogant sarcastic manner even when it's not funny. That's what best describes the characters and dialog on this show. I'm so charming that any despicable thing I say and do you won't fault me for because I say it so sarcastically and casually.

I gave this show a few chances and it LITERALLY made me quit watching television. It's really disgusting to see the greed of Hollywood taken so far that they've brainwashed a nation of people into laughing at dialog that isn't the least bit funny but since it's so extreme, sarcastic and stated so casually with the character having complete immunity, well then it must be funny right?

What I really hate about these people most however is the way it's effected our culture and the people I now encounter on a regular basis that I rarely ever did just 10 years ago. These are the people you may exchange words with at a restaurant, a park or even when they're behind the counter checking you out in a store. These snide comments out of left field that have absolutely no merit that are slipped in discretely to abuse and degrade you. It's an undeniable reflection of what they are watching on television and the undeniable result of this new generation growing up seeing it on sitcoms and reality TV shows.

These actors, the writers, directors, producers are all despicable. I understand the ideal where everyone has the right to their own opinions and taste but when what you're doing is producing a massive demographic of arrogant, snide half wits who seek to abuse others who are polite to them, you've earned my hatred and gradually other people will see this media for what it actually is and connect your responsibility to it.

They are creating a huge populous of low class snobs that want to altercate with everyone.

Sanctum (2011)
4 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
You've seen it, 7 February 2011
1/10

If you seek film content that was born from a deep, literary work of intelligence or art, this isn't it. For your paint by numbers action suspense drama though, it certainly delivers. The lies behind the advertising are what ultimately knocked it down to a 1 out of 10 stars. I'm sick of being abused by the greed of actors, directors and producers as well as the studios manufacturing them.

Sometimes it's a giant boat, sometimes it's a mountain, maybe it's the forest...well this time, it's a cave.

This is that standard survivalist movie where some experts get in over their heads while exploring the unknown and what was once an exploration of curiosity, is now a quest for survival.

Unfortunately most of us have seen this movie's fraternal twins. The characters are exactly the same, the dynamics between them are exactly the same and even the casualties and mercy killings are exactly the same. In fact this movie has been made so many times, the claim behind this one being based on a true story is too demanding for me. Between the lies of Hollywood, government and the people that generally find their funding for such explorations from primarily these two sources, should we really trust any of this?

More often than not we find out the true story is anecdotal even when told with the utmost detail. More often than not, we find out most the actors, directors and writers of Hollywood completely fudge their resumes and biographies. So even if every scene of this movie is true to the reality, does it really matter when it's entertainment.

Something for the parents to take the kids to see so they don't get left out.


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