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The Cannonball Run (1981)
Sickening unfunny - a stain on the medium of film
I was looking for a good 'car' movie at the video store when this caught my eye. The cast, writer and concept promised so much.
I am disgusted.
This movie makes me want to break things in my revulsion.
I utterly hate it.
A car chase comedy without jokes or car chases (or even any cars travelling at high speed, all that is done with sped-up camera work) is pointless. When it is executed this badly it could make impressionable types suicidal.
The only reason I got the whole way through was the paralysing horror of the film rooted me to the couch. I was awestruck at the ineptitude of the humour and directing.
For a movie about a cross country car race (an inherently exciting idea, I think) the plot revolves almost entirely around people sitting about in dingy gas stations and car-parks talking about racing.
The humour is so broad and poorly written you could plant a flag on it and claim it as sovereign territory of laziness.
This film made me angry, it made me hate, it fills me with rage. Show it to the Hulk and his shade of green would be so dark it'd be black.
The only thing that could have made this worse is CGI.
I am too enraged at the hideous abortion of a film that this is to write anymore. I am going out now to buy a copy and then I will torture it.
The worst abuse ever committed to any media be it prose, poetry, film or music.