Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
Contrived way to combine many horror staples
This could have been much worse, because it was a sci-fi movie, which is about as low as the bar gets in the movie world, but it was bad enough as it was.
It's basically a combination of as many horror and science fiction staples as the writer could muster. If any were missed, it was only because of the time element.
It keeps in line with the censorship policy of the sci-fi channel of neo-Nazi propaganda, making movies for American women, most of whom are blond, by perpetuating the myth that men prefer blonds, even though only about one out of ten do, though nine out of ten dare not admit it to women, who rely on the myth for control. It's just easy to be blond. Most people can do it just by hours in sunlight.
Here, we have a creature who prefers a blond, and the whole movie is generated around this brainwashing scheme to make us think it is an animal's nature, when it is exactly the opposite in the animal world.
That's bad enough, and contrived enough, but the contrived script goes so far as to make sure no one in an entire town survives a horror ordeal except a few principles. That's so contrived that only a moron can't be bored by it.
Why is it not 1/10? The actors seem to enjoy it, and looked like they had fun, and did their job well. There are a few things that aren't exactly in line with the horror formula. Not many, but a few.
Still, it's a movie that probably only women will enjoy, and the only men who watch it are those who do so for a project, or to critique it, or to please the women in the group. It's not enjoyable at all for guys. And the women probably won't like the idea that a brunette gets to survive in the end along with the blond.
Not inspired, but full of effort
Wyatt, Jaffa, and Silver validated their license to work here, with a pretty decent effort in the tale of how apes became the dominant species, or will become the dominant species, on Earth.
However, while written and directed with efficiency, it doesn't have a lot of inspiration. It looks like a mechanical effort all the way.
Still, the efforts of all involved are likable and well done. It's good to see Gollum as the main ape here, giving Andy a chance to give a different type of performance, which must please him no end. He may be the Boris Karloff or Lon Chaney Jr. of the present.
The iconic lines of the original movie seemed forced into play here, and I'll nit pick at that as part of the lack of inspiration here. It doesn't stand on its own, which is too bad, because there is a lot of good to this.
Great theatrics + zero motivation + no inspiration=
On the scale beloved by the geeks, this is a success, full of theatrics and drama with inane action.
On a scale of Art, it's a failure. It will be hailed as grand by the extreme right wingers for whom this is a huge propaganda movie. I don't think it's very subtle, but those I watched the movie with were fooled, or so they say.
It is great in theatrics and drama and action, but it's full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. I had to have the plot explained to me before I watched it, or I never would have understood it, and for good reason. There is no motivation for the theatrics, and no inspiration.
This equals the look of a stolen idea, probably from a better story maker, but with a truly dangerous trend that publishers had to alter to fit their agenda. The idea that a person who can do many things, and has many skills, being "picked on" is used and abused by the publishers, producers, and elitists who want to keep "underlings" feeling that some people are "demi god" material, and should have all authority and stewardship.
Had the story been the opposite, it would make sense, and at least had motivation, but there is no motivation here. The fact that great theatrics and drama and action are wasted on Republican propaganda that sets humanity and progress back decades at a time makes this worse than it would have been without the attention to fundamental film making.
This story is the problem, and purports that only a few elitists should be able to do anything, and everyone else must be cannon fodder and not allowed to perform or have opportunity. It's a sick movie preaching hate, sickness, and jealousy of true inspiration and talent.
John Carter (2012)
Hastily put together, should have been better
There is a lot going for this classic science fiction story.
Maybe too much.
There is a lot of risk taking and breaking of art and movie taboos, and that's good. A lot of credible characters, and that's good.
However, what isn't good is that it spent so much money on effects, and a good story is often better when told a bit simply.
It's also muddled by poor editing of sound, which makes it look like it was hastily put together. One has to adjust the sound up and down throughout, and one misses half of what is spoken, unless one has closed captioning, which I didn't have when I watched it.
Still, one gets the gist of the story. However, there looked to be too much of a desire to make this a grand spectacle, and too much a desire to make the evil creatures completely unbeatable. Their powers make them invincible, quite honestly, and yet with their superiority, their motivations are not credibly given. There are people who are evil, and whose only motives are evil, and perhaps that is the case, but it is not clearly shown.
Perhaps this should have been done more Tarzan style, even if the story is quite different. Tarzan would be in an isolated area, with an isolated group, and we would get great scenery, but not popping too far from place to place with armies of this and armies of that. Sure, there were armies, but not delivered in huge spectacle which took over the story.
The story should have stayed more basic, with the characters interacting more, and less abuse of special effects. But that's the trouble with most film making today. Special effect geeks think they own the movie, and dictate too much, instead of vice versa.
Also, the movie begins poorly. We almost don't even care about the characters in the beginning. This is a common Hollywood ploy, to start with characters we can't like at all, and then control freak directors try to manipulate us into changing our minds. I never liked being manipulated, so I don't rate such movies too high.
Still, there is a lot of good to the movie, and it can be saved with better editing and if someday they cut some of the special effects out and let the story be bigger than the geeks, and if they coordinate the sound better.
40 Days and Nights (2012)
Not much to offer
The Sci-Fi original movie channel has been a horribly sad joke with no inspiration, and this movie follows suit, though at least it doesn't preach as much as most of the movies.
Still, the story of a bunch of self important big shots making arks to survive a disaster, and saving their precious families, is a bit sick and self righteous.
The movie is pretty dull, to tell the truth. I managed to sit through it without cringing, so I think the present rating which is below 2.5 is a bit low.
It isn't a good movie, mostly because of childish writing and a childish plot, but it could have been much worse.
At best, I can say this is maybe the sort of movie you might watch on the elliptical or treadmill or exercise bike to pass the time.
The Descent: Part 2 (2009)
No risks, no art
Can anything be worse than the first Descent? Well, they tried as hard as they could to make a complete formula movie, down to the typical Hollywood neo Nazi idealism.
The survivor of the first descent leads another party in to clear her name of murder. Only this time, the producer knows better than to sacrifice any other blond women. We know it's a doomed group, because these are Nazis making this movie, and the women are all brunettes, save the heroine, who probably will be sacrificed along with them just to save face and provide for a new blond next time.
I won't spoil it to say if this happens, but you already know. It's "no risk". The control freak Nazis can't handle a movie which lets a brunette live in the end. It just gets their gall. And American audiences just can't handle anything that doesn't depress their sane friends.
Too bad people are that sick, and force feed this crap over and over.
Suicide Kings (1997)
not about the story
On the surface, this is a light drama-comedy-mystery about five young preppy guys who kidnap a professional criminal who they think is the master of criminals, because the sister of one of the young men is kidnapped, and they want to use him as leverage.
There is the usual red herring and counter bluffs and all the movie stuff that makes the geeks happy.
This is really not about the story, however. It is more how the more successful underworld people deal with upper crust people, in this case with the criminal the older, wiser guy who is more than supportive of his kidnappers, even after they cut off his finger.
He sees them for what they are. In fact, one he even calls "the man", a young nerd who had no part in the kidnapping, but who is used by the others. This respect for the young man is symbolic of the film. All through it, the other four give away their characters to him, and even those who cause him suffering, he relents to and works with, save for one whom he realizes is not capable of being reasoned with.
The movie has dull filmography, cinematography, and scenery, so it lags quite a bit, and comes across as something that actually works better on stage. Putting this on film wasn't the best idea. Still, it has some assets.
Swamp Devil (2008)
This is a B movie horror science fiction all the way, and makes no bones about it.
There are only a few characters, and it looks low budget, although nothing is really "low budget", as the numbers for "low budget" is usually enough for a person to retire on for life.
We have a deadly creature that seems deadly, then doesn't seem deadly. It's not very "congruent", and it's filled with plot holes.
Still, the characters are pretty good, and rate as "credible characters in an incredible situation", which is the best science fiction.
It doesn't do much more, but it is "watchable", and is best viewed as "elliptical entertainment" or "treadmill TV".
The Hunger Games (2012)
A bit trite, but they try
Another take off on Battle Royale here, the fight to the death, ten little Indians with one or two survivors thing.
It doesn't matter why they do it in these spectacles, because obviously there can be no justification for such a "game".
It's pretty mundane to say "killing is bad", because those of us who think the "kill" mentality of games is immature and sick, those who are the beaver and butt heads who get off on it will get off on these kind of movies just as much, unless they are shown for what they are, and the characters are shown for what they are.
That's why Battle Royale worked so well, and why The Condemned failed, because the Condemned was simply a neo Nazi propaganda movie for the sick human demons of society.
This one works fairly well, although we get lost in a bit of drag, mostly due to confusing camera work, and due to drawing out scenes too much.
Plus, the idea has been run into the ground. This movie really offers little new.
The maniac played by Sutherland is without motivation, but honestly, he is a grown up beaver and butt head. We have seen many people who worship the lack of motivation, and they are now adults in positions of power, the same nerds and geeks who praised their own inept superiority in their virtual worlds.
So the maniac ruler works well in this, and is believable. Some who might question him feel insecure and threatened if they speak up.
Some of what happens is a bit predictable. It's actually the heroics of the heroine that are most credible in this.
Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
History not so bad, inspiration not so good
What we have here is a middle ages story on the Crusades which is centered around a historical incident in Saladin's tent.
The incident in Saladin's tent is a historical fact, and long overdue to be in film.
It is also the perfect incident in which to base an inspired fiction story.
However, aside from the incident in the tent, the movie suffers from a lack of inspiration.
Also, some of the history suffers. Aside from the tent, the movie takes too much literary license.
Add to that the overrated Liam, a favorite among the brain dead types, but he makes real actors and talents groan in agony with his wooden Hollywood one dimensional macho act.
What makes the movie suffer is the lame story line of the hero. He just isn't inspired, or the inspiration isn't sufficient for a viewer. We don't buy his ingenuity. He is more of a family man, one who functions as a cog, not an innovator.
Also, the character of Guy is a bit off. He was more of a coward than the movie shows. Montreal was also a more romantic, dashing figure than the movie shows, which made his evil even more abhorrent to Saladin and others.
The truth be told, this was a vehicle which could easily have been a grand piece of inspiration for a side story. One gets the feeling that better scripts were tossed aside, with some ideas stolen from them to go into a formula film, which this looked like.
This should have been much better.