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Woodyanders

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Charming porn comedy, 4 March 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Driven and successful, but single and sexually frustrated advertising executive Champagne (Leslie Bovee at her most elegant and enchanting) hires crafty, but down on his luck entrepreneur Harry (a fine and likable performance by John Leslie) to act as her chauffeur and bodyguard on her carnal excursions. However, Harry has to pretend to be gay in order to get and keep said gig.

Director Chris Warfield, working from a breezy and witty script by John Hayes, relates the enjoyable story at a snappy pace, maintains an engaging lighthearted tone throughout, and delivers the scorching goods with a steady succession of steamy and spirited sex scenes. The presence of a bevy of luscious ladies adds extra sizzle: Slender fox Bonnie Holiday as Champagne's brash gal pal Peggy, ravishing Kandi Barbour as amorous nightclub owner Sheree, enticing Dorothy Le May as uninhibited stripper Fantasia, the ever-classy Kay Parker as horny employment office worker Gladys Whitmore, yummy Candida Royalle as an aggressively lascivious lesbian, and fetching long-haired blonde Sharon Kane as a lusty car wash attendant. Moreover, such dependable studs as Ken Scudder, Jon Martin, Blair Harris, and David Morris are on hand to provide their sturdy lovemaking skills. Elton Fuller's glossy cinematography gives this picture a sumptuous sparkling look. Jack Stern's jaunty score and the delightful Frank Sinatra-style lounge jazz theme song keep things bubbling along. An infectiously frothy treat.

Black Love (1971)
Herschell Gordon Lewis does a two for one by jumping on both the porn and blaxploitation band wagons, 4 March 2015
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Since porn and blaxploitation were hot genres in the 1970's, it's basically inevitable that someone would make a hardcore pseudo-documentary on the carnal practices and mating rituals of black people. The big surprise about this particular oddity is that it was directed by legendary goremeister Herschell Gordon Lewis under an alias. Why not exactly good, it's nonetheless interesting for its clunky apparent sincerity and often borderline racist tone as a narrator cites plenty of highly dubious and frankly condescending "facts" about blacks while making the most exceptionally obvious and idiotic observations imaginable. As for the content, we've got a little boy learning all about the birds and the bees by watching a black couple make out in a car, a little girl stumbles onto her parents doing the deed, a woman reads a book while going commando outside, blacks dancing at a club, and one gal pleasuring her man while still wearing curlers in her hair. Naturally, there's gobs of explicit nudity and decidedly lethargic, but still graphic sex, plus dubbed in moaning and groaning. Alas, the whole things unfolds at a painfully sluggish pace. The mellow jazzy score by Harold Harris sounds like funky outtakes from a Peanuts TV special. Good vibrant color cinematography, too. A real curio.

Night Drive (2010/I)
Taut, harsh, and absorbing thriller, 3 March 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A night drive through the South African bush turns into a deadly game of survival after a group of tourists find themselves being hunted by deadly poachers. Writer/director Justin Head relates the gripping story at a quick pace, maintains an unsparingly tough and gritty tone throughout, generates a considerable amount of nerve-wracking suspense, and makes nice use of the desolate bush locations. The solid acting by the capable cast keeps this picture humming: Christopher Beasley as disgraced cop Sean Darwin, Corine Du Toit as the depressed and suicidal Karen, Greg Melvill-Smith as rugged game warden Jack, Yule Masiteng as Jack's easygoing partner Akani, Brandon Auret as obnoxious antagonistic cokehead jerk Ian, Antonio David Lyons as the dashing Denzel, David Sherwood as kindly old gent Rodger Turner, Clare Marshall as Rodger's sweet wife Mary, and Matshepo Maleme as the feisty Tumi. The shocking moments of raw and gruesome violence pack a savage punch. Trevor Calverley's sharp cinematography provides an impressive slick look. Benjamin Willem's throbbing tribal score does the rousing trick. A neat'n'nasty little item.

Fine showcase for Marsha Jordan, 3 March 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Eager and adventurous Chris (a solid and appealing performance by voluptuous blonde knockout Marsha Jordan) embarks on a worldwide quest for sexual fulfillment. Her erotic odyssey takes her from the back streets of Hong Kong to the African jungle.

Director Don Davis, working from a racy script by Jerry Wilder, keeps the engrossingly seamy story moving along at a brisk pace. Moreover, Davis certainly delivers steamy soft-core goods: We've got abundant yummy female nudity (Jordan even goes full frontal!), sizzling incestuous lesbianism, scorching masturbation, an arousing threesome, an awkward male virgin getting his first taste of a woman, and a hot black mass orgy ritual set piece. While Jordan dominates the proceedings with her captivating sensuous presence and pleasant personality, she nonetheless receives sound support from Michael Perrotta as friendly and helpful publisher John Franklin, Steve Vincent as the smooth-talking Tom, Sandra Wing as an amorous brothel madam, Capri as Chris' lusty sister Lisa, and Bryon Clark as mean macho hunter Tim O'Sullivan. Ravishing slender redhead Revel Quinn burns up the screen as a delectable belly dancer. Henning Schellerup's fairly polished cinematography boasts a few snazzy visual flourishes. The mellow jazzy score by Chet and Jim Moore hits the soothing spot. Recommended viewing for fans of Mrs. Jordan.

An enjoyably ridiculous mess, 2 March 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A group of treasure hunters survive a shipwreck only to find themselves stuck on a deserted island that's been overrun by ferocious flesh-eating zombies. Man, does the one and only Bruno Mattei nicely capture the endearingly scrappy aesthetic of a vintage 80's nickel'n'dime Italian horror splatter schlockfest: We've got lousy dubbing (the boat captain for some inexplicable reason sports an uproariously out of place British accent!), excessive cheesy gore, tin-eared dialogue, plenty of choice moments of inspired absurdity (one guy uses martial arts on a zombie in a cemetery!), cardboard characters, a gloriously ludicrous plot, lame acting, and shoddy (far from) special effects. Moreover, Mattei does manage to create some decent misty atmosphere, plus deserves praise for using old school practical gore and make-up. Yvette Yzon and Ydalia Suarez supply yummy distaff eye candy. Luigi Ciccarese's sharp cinematography provides a neat polished look. An absolute cruddy hoot.

Marsha Jordan excels in this worthwhile soft-core melodrama, 27 February 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

After discovering that her husband Greg (dashing Edward Blessington) has been having an adulterous affair with secretary Natalie (enticing redhead Luanne Roberts), housewife Marsha (a sound and sympathetic performance by Marsha Jordan) decides to embark on a few illicit carnal misadventures of her own.

Director Don Davis, working from a compact and compelling script by Jason Hunter, keeps the engrossing story moving along at a steady pace, makes nice use of breathtaking California locations, grounds the premise in a credible workaday reality, adds a few neat touches of sharp humor, and delivers a satisfying smattering of delicious bare distaff skin and pretty hot simulated sex scenes. Best of all, buxom blonde knockout Mrs. Jordan shows off her fine full womanly body with pleasing regularity -- and proves she can really act quite well when given the opportunity to do so. Wayne Carter's competent cinematography and the mellow jazzy score by Chet and Jim Moore are both up to par. Groovy theme song, too. Recommended viewing for Marsha Jordan fans.

Amiably inane porn comedy romp, 26 February 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Bumbling, desperate, and libidinous foreign exchange student Fernando (nicely played to the uproariously awkward hilt by Fernando Fortes) isn't having any luck with the ladies until his best friend Dave (likable Blair Harris) hooks him up with a used book on how to seduce women through using hypnotism. Director Carlos Tobalina, working from a blithely lowbrow script by Tom Anderson, maintains an engaging lighthearted tone throughout, occasionally uses artificially sped-up film for maximum zany effect, milks plenty of belly laughs from the amusing sense of cheerfully crude humor, and delivers a few tasty sexual set pieces that includes a wedding reception which degenerates into a lively orgy. Buxom blonde Connie Peterson totally sizzles as a ditsy pizza delivery girl who gets tag teamed by our two protagonists. Fortunately, this film is way too silly for the potentially distasteful premise to ever become remotely offensive. The funky-grinding score hits the get-down groovy spot. The bright cinematography by J. Paul Ford and William Larson provides a pleasing sunny look. The send-up of "Carrie" at the very end is simply priceless. A real dippy riot.

Dinoshark (2010) (TV)
Entertaining B-grade creature feature, 25 February 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A lethal prehistoric beast that's been frozen in the ice for 150 million years gets thawed out due to global warming and embarks on a bloodthirsty rampage in a coastal town in Mexico. It's up to rogue fishing boat captain Trace McGraw (a solid and likable performance by Eric Balfour) and sexy science teacher Carol Brubaker (an appealing portrayal by the insanely foxy Iva Hasperger) to stop the monster before it's too late.

Director Kevin O'Neill, working from a blithely absurd script by Frances Doel and Guy Prevost, relates the enjoyably asinine story at a swift pace, treats the dopey premise with admirable seriousness, stages the attack set pieces with gusto, and delivers a satisfying smattering of splatter. Moreover, a bevy of beautiful bikini-clad babes provide abundant tasty eye candy, the CGI beast ain't half bad, and the exotic Mexico locations add an extra tangy flavor. The legendary Roger Corman acquits himself well in a sizable supporting part as helpful scientist Dr. Frank Reeves while Guillermo Ivan contributes an amusingly smarmy turn as jerky coast guard officer Victor. The sharp cinematography by Eduardo Flores Torres gives this picture an attractive bright look. Cynthia Brown's spirited score hits the stirring spot. Good goofy fun.

Neat 60's soft-core outing, 25 February 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Beautiful young single gals Gloria (busty brunette Sharon Sanford) and Gracie (buxom blonde Heide Anderson) move into a new apartment complex. Right after settling in, the pair find themselves getting involved in a wild and uninhibited swinging lifestyle that eventually takes a heavy emotional toll on Gracie.

Director Don Davis relates the engrossingly sordid story at a steady pace, grounds the premise in a believable everyday reality, delivers lots of tasty female nudity as well as some sizzling lesbianism, voyeurism, and a few pretty hot straight couplings, neatly captures the free-spirited experimental vibe of the 60's sexual revolution, and concludes things on a gloriously hysterical note (Gracie's big climactic breakdown scene is a real hoot!). Jason Hunter's suitably seamy script not only offers a few interesting insights on the psychology of swingers (for example, they partake in this lifestyle because they are bored and insecure), but also does a sound job of presenting the swinging lifestyle as an addictive, yet potentially destructive dead end. The acceptable acting from the attractive cast rates as another plus, with Anderson's vulnerable Gracie emerging as the most sympathetic character. Wayne Carter plain cinematography provides a persuasive naturalistic look. The jazzy score by Chet and Jim Moore hits the mellow groovy spot. A nice little slice of vintage 60's sleaze.

Colleen Brennan shines in this enjoyable 80's hardcore romp, 24 February 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

After being diagnosed by a smarmy doctor (a memorably sleazy cameo by director Carlos Tobalina) with a dose of the clap, a frustrated wife (ravishing redhead Colleen Brennan in peak vivacious and desirable form) decides to dump her unfaithful jerk husband (a nicely slimy turn by Shone Taylor) and play the field by not only taking on a lover, but also by attending a ladies only sex party.

Director Tobalina keeps the simple and straightforward story moving along at a steady clip, offers some nice travelogue footage of sunny San Francisco, and delivers copious amounts of the expected strenuous carnal action. Karen Leslie, Margie Hills, Julie Desmond, Lili Marlene, and Laura Lazare all show up for a sizzling Sapphic session. Best of all, the always delectable Mrs. Brennan gives her energetic all in her scorching sex scenes and has a ball with her raunchy narration; a lively make-up coitus set piece between Brennan and Taylor rates as the definite highly arousing highlight. The funky-throbbing score by Shamus hits the get-down groovy grinding spot. The sharp cinematography provides a pretty picturesque look. Recommended viewing for Colleen Brennan fans.


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