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The Hard Corps (2006) (V)
16 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
I have seen a lot of Van Damme movies, but..., 9 December 2006
1/10 one was as bad as this one. Well, maybe Cyborg. Van Damme have never been a great actor, but this film takes the goddamn price! He seems bored throughout the entire movie, even in the fight scenes, where he usually seems engaged. Either Van Damme was forced to act in this movie or he has grave economical problems. Thats my theory.

It don't get any better when the plot is a ridiculous, laughable attempt to bring Van Damme into the "modern" world. 10-20 years ago, it was Sci Fi and karate the Van Damme-fans wanted. I'm not one of them, but I do think that they want the exact same thing today. Thats why this is so ridiculous. Van Damme has to act as a bodyguard to a boxer who is threatened by a rapper, who just got out of prison. I'm not trying to be a racist or so, but I take the plot as a failed attempt to attract the black audience. It is just so obvious that Van Damme don't belong in this movie. But on the other hand, if they would have hired somebody else to have the leading part, I don't think that anyone would be interested. So they hired Van Damme to get some extra viewers and voilà! A big hit and more Van Damme-fans! Thats what they thought. To be honest, I don't think this movie accomplish anything, but to disappoint Van Dammes fans.

Mr Van Damme, I insist you make another Street Fighter or Hard Target. Those movies you could at least laugh at.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
One word..., 5 November 2006

...WOW! With this movie, I can no longer decide which my favorite movie is. It used to be Sin City, but with this amazing movie, I'm not so sure anymore. Because this is beyond great. Not only is the movie really fine done, it contains a great story which is being told with both heart and brain. Maybe I'm so fascinated by the story because it is one of the kinds that I'm interested of, but I'm pretty sure that anyone can be fascinated by this superb story.

I never thought that I could be so amazed by an animated movie, but this is so perfectly and fine-looking done that you lose your breath. It proves that a movie can contain artistic deep with only two colors. The animation is no doubt the best looking I have ever seen. If you're skeptical, you might think it's boring with just two colors, especially since it is the two most "boring" colors, black and white, but once you've seen a little bit of the movie, you cannot be anything but astonished. It left me breathless, and will surely leave others in the exact same condition. The animation is nothing less than the best ever.

Animated movies often contains stories that mostly is funny, and not quite realistic. Talking toys, monsters in the closet, swamp trolls and lions who has a zebra as a best friend, for example. Science Fiction is something else that often comes in an animated shape. Final Fantasy and A Scanner Darkly for some examples. And non of those comes near the excellence of Renaissance. We've got a great Sci-Fi Mystery Drama, with some action and thriller, without 'em taking over the movie. The drama in this movie is no doubt the best ever in an animated movie. It is strong and believable, it could even compete with some other non-animated dramas. But the core in this movie is the mystery. It is also very believable and made near perfection. The environment is perfect for a thrilling, nerve-tickling mystery which keeps you sitting on the edge of your seat. By the way, the environment is greatly done and believable, with sci-fi measure. The futuristic version of Paris is perfect for the black and white animation.

No doubt this is the best movie of 2006 so far. No doubt this is the best animated movie ever. No doubt this is the best french movie ever. No doubt this is as well-done as Sin City. I'm missing words for it.

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Not bad at all!, 4 November 2006

I got very disappointed when I saw Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. All the characters we got to know in part 2 and 3 suddenly just got too much (ex. Zed). The first PA was greater than great. Part 2 was great. Part 3 were very funny. Part 4 was not that fun at all. So, as you can see it was a downhill. But then I saw Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach. And I laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

It didn't matter that there was no Steve Guttenberg. The three best characters in the PA was still there, Hightower, Tackleberry and Jones. The story and the scenario in PA 5 is a great environment for PA. The jokes are in the same class as the first PA. The "climax" in this movie is so funny you cant stop laughing. Seriously, this is superb!

An immediate return to the classic PA-style, better than the last three. The recipe of success was still there when the great movie Police Academy 6: City Under Siege came. That one too is superb. Just too bad that the PA:s didn't stop there. Number 7, Mission to Moscow, is just horrible.

Amazing rock'n'roll show, 29 September 2006

Motörhead is my all time favorite band. Not only cause I'm a headbanger, but also cause Lemmy is Mr Rock'n'Roll himself. People say Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Richards, Jerry Lee Lewis... No one comes near Lemmy. His band Motörhead are going strong, even after 25 years (31, right now), and they still make great concerts and release great albums. Unlike many other metal bands, Motörhead don't need fancy robots and bombs and grenades and pyromatic effects and guillotines and stuff. They just have to stand there and play to create magic. They are an incredibly great live band. Lemmys phrases between the songs are priceless. The songs, I mean the SONGS! Can it get better? Hmm... Nope.

This DVD is a long thing with 23 of Motörheads greatest songs (I still cant see why they don't have Stay Clean included) and is really representative for Motörhead. We've got stuff like Mikkey Dee's drum solo during Sacrifice, Doro Pesch as a guest singer during Born To Raise Hell (even though the dork Whitfield Crane ruins that song), great guitar duels in the end of Killed By Death (with two guest stars) and all the guests during Overkill. And of course, Lemmy. No one gets cooler than him. No one is even close.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
38 years, and still scaring the crap out of people!, 12 September 2006

Zombie movies is something I never quite understand. Some movies (like Zombie Flesh Eaters and House of the Dead) is terribly ridiculous and filled with (awkward, not charming) clichés, but then again we have movies like this one who is terrifying, thrilling, scary, intelligent and just great! This may not be timeless for everyone, since many people who see it today may think it's past crap, but if you switch on your brain (which you mostly often don't, when we come to horror) you'll just have to love it. It's obvious what a genius George A. Romero is. While many directors see "zombie movie" as an opportunity to make "Die Hard Action Horror", Mr Romero took the chance to make a creepy, disturbing and unsettling movies, while it still is brutal and shocking. Now THAT is something to admire.

3 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
American Cliché Steel Warrior, 5 September 2006

Well well well, if it isn't the movie with the most laughable name ever? The name "American Cyborg Steel Warrior" makes you think of an non-serious hardcore action science fiction comedy, with cliché after cliché after cliché after another cliché. It isn't. The baddest thing about this movie is that it tries to be serious. HA! A movie cant be serious if it have that name this one has.

This movie is full of clichés from movies like Mad Max, Terminator, Cyborg and Universal Soldier. And that, if anything, makes this movie laughable. If it have clichés from b-movies starring Jean Claude Van Damme... I mean, those movies ARE clichés, and if you then have clichés from them clichés... well, you understand.

If the budget would've been bigger (or at least better used), the clichés fewer and the name another, then this movie could've been OK. Since that's not the case, it isn't.

6 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
In every life, there comes some movies which just happens to suck balls, 4 September 2006

What could the main reason be, that this movie suck? Could it be the ridiculous script, that is so bad that it looks like a bunch of thirteen year old have written it, which you think because of the scenes who are supposed to be dramatic seems to be forced to be in the movie while they don't fit in, and other crap which are in the movie? Or could it be the dialogs, that are more cleared of intelligence than a regular Chuck Norris movie? Maybe it is the brain dead action, that are in some scenes, and which is even more unnecessary than the plain stupid romance? Oh right, it must be the (stupid) romance that makes this movie suck! No wait, even though the romance is unrealistic, unbelievable and non-dramatic, it cant be the reason for this movie being so bad.

Now I've got it. The main reason, for Get Rich Or Die Trying' being so bad, is blamed on one single person. And the poor devil who will have to carry that burden is the main person in this movie, a person who should he have sticked to his music 'cos he cant act... Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the one person who almost all by himself caused the badness of this movie; Mr. 50 Cent! He cant act. That is a fact (wohoo, I rhymed without realizing it first). When he tries to be dramatic, he is more strained than Dolph Lundgren when he is trying to do the same. His attempts to be romantic are as laughable as the entire House of the Dead-movie. When he tries to say something sweet, tender and dramatic in a pretty low tune, he sounds more like a sodomized wookie than a romancer. He tries to be a cool gangster street robber drug dealer, something like CJ in the game GTA: San Andreas, and he fails, of course. I bet even Bill Gates could be more trustworthy as a gang-member than 50 Cent was in this movie. His attempts to be his friends "homie" are so laughable that I rolled on floor laughing when I saw it. I almost couldn't breath afterwords. And it doesn't help that his character has stupid dialogs, have to make stupid things and gets involved with stupid happenings. *****SPOILER*****For example, the scene in the shower in the prison made me puke*****SPOILER'S OUT*****.

Okay, a big part of this commentary has only been compliments about 50 Cent. And, believe me, he ain't the only bad thing in this movie. In the beginning of the commentary, I complained about almost everything, dialog, script, scenes and more. And believe me, all that sucks! This movie may be the worst one I've ever seen. It simply sucks. This movie had premiere in my home country, Sweden, long after it had premiere in all the other countries. At the same time it had premiere here, it fell out of the bottom 100. For that, I am ashamed of my country.

Dark Star (1974)
Not good at all if you follow the usual criterion, but I don't..., 3 September 2006

According to the usual criterion, a movie should be something like The Godfather, Se7en or Pulp Fiction and they are all great movies, but in this case I think we can turn a blind eye to criterion. Cause if we wouldn't, this movie would probably be somewhere on the bottom 100. Now, that is not the case and for that, I'm glad. This movie really contains all the stuff that mostly often makes you hate movies like Hercules in New York and other, more obscure stuff, like Deep Shock. Low budget, a ridiculous plot and average acting. In this case, the low budget shines through like 1000W spotlight does in the dark. But that only makes it more funny.*****SPOILER!!!*****For example, the alien is a painted ball with rubber feet. That thing is visible even from outer space (haha)*****SPOILER'S OUT*****. Still, I cant disregard that my personal hero (apart from Lemmy of Motörhead, of course) has directed this movie, Mr John Carpenter himself. I have never seen a bad movie which he have directed, and I probably wont either. All of his movies are more or less great, this one is no exception (Ghosts of Mars is an underrated masterpiece too!). Should be seen.

Airheads (1994)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Quite possibly the funniest movie ever, 22 August 2006

OK, I'm a rock 'n' roller so maybe thats why I love it. But even non rockers can like this movie. Its filled to the brim with heart and it still has brain. That is one of the thing that many movies don't have. Either its too much heart, or too much brain. Anyway, let me tell you why you laugh and laugh and laugh while you see this movie.

The story of a band on demo level who wants a contract with a record company may not be the most original story ever, but the director sure take deep care of the story, and puts his soul and mind into it, which makes it more and more enjoyable. The thing with a hostage situation is a funny thing to. That may be the only thing that is quite original in this movie. A mix between two unoriginal stories which together makes a great film. And they sure don't take it easy with the jokes. Just after you caught your breath after having laughed your lungs out, you start over again with laughing. Which makes it the perfect Friday entertainment with your pals. The playing time is only 'bout an hour and a half, but the filmmakers make a use of that in a near perfect way. Pretty sure that they could have made it last for two hours, and without seeming too long. The direction, production and script are just great! Its just too bad that this movie haven't got enough credits to establish itself as a famous movie, cause there are many comedy makers who would have a lot to learn. It's not ridiculous or silly or awkward or childish or anything. Yet, the jokes may not the most intelligent jokes ever, but the characters ain't that either...

The characters, yes. The three main characters are played by Brendan Fraser, Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi. Brendan Fraser as Chazz, the real wannabe, who really go trying to get a record contract and the main person in the band. Adam Sandler as Pip, the stupid and benevolent drummer who seems to have an IQ which to be compared with a pencil or a refrigerator or something. Steve Buscemi (one of my personal favorites) as Rex, the bass player who is something of a comic sidekick and who most of all wants to be famous and popular, mostly for the chicks. The perfect actors for the hilarious main characters. They makes great jobs with the acting, and non of the (few) bad parts can be blamed on them. A great comeback in the rock 'n' roll movie genre is Michael McKean. He had one of the main roles in the classic, trend-setting and hilarious rock 'n' roll film 'This is Spinal Tap' and here, ten years later, he return in the second of head-bangers favorite movies. But his characters in those two movies are a little different from each other. In 'This is Spinal Tap', he is rock 'n' roll, the guitar playing singer. Here, he is some kind of a boss or manager or something of a radio station who don't actually don't like rock or metal music. A little difference, right? We also have Joe Mantegna as the radio DJ, Nina Siemaszko as a "typical" (?) blonde chick, Ernie Hudson as a police officer and Amy Locane as Chazz's girlfriend who is tired of having him trying to get a record contract instead of making money by working. Great actors in a great movie! Oh, by the way, lets not forget Lemmy, main man in legendary rock band Motörhead (who happens to be my personal favorites) who actually has one line in this movie. Since he is my hero, I have to mention him.

What can I complain about then? Well... not really anything. Maybe a few trifles, but nothing big and nothing I can think about right now. Should be seen by anyone who likes to laugh. Underrated.

"If Lemmy and God had a fight, who would win?" "Lemmy." "Wrong! Tricky question, Lemmy IS god!" (Favorite line)

Jaws (1975)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Thrilling, scary, dramatic and catchy; A real classic, 21 August 2006

One of my all time favorites, Jaws, is a legendary trend-setting classic. The movie may be full of factual errors, but unless you are going to sit and analyze every second and write down a scientific comment, you shouldn't care. Just sit back and relax in a comfortable sofa with a bowl of well-salted popcorn and let the movie roll. That is with no doubt one of my personal Friday evening pastimes. I must have seen the movie at least something like thirty time by now, and it is just as good every time.

This movie makes you laugh, makes you jump to the roof, makes you bite your nails and makes you sit on the edge of your seat with your eyes wide open. Some scenes must have been really scary to see in a cinema once it came. 'Course, I wasn't born then, but the movie holds its position still today. It will be remembered as a trend-setting horror adventure. With great direction from Mr. Spielberg, a thick and robust production from gentlemen David Brown Richard D. Zanuck, coloring script from the guy who wrote the book, Peter Benchley, and superb acting from mainly Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw. Those two make their characters shine and gives them a lot of personality. They simply put their mind, soul and heart into the work. Crikey, did I forget to give credit to Roy Scheider? Well, yes. But to be honest, he don't deserve as much credit as Dreyfuss and Shaw. He is really boring and don't add anything to his character. I wouldn't be sad if they would have him replaced with somebody with a little more color. Actually, Roy Scheider is a real bore who lowers the general impression. But don't be alarmed now, the general impression is high as heavens. Not even some robot could lower it that much.

This movie is a landmark, a legend, a horror classic, a masterpiece, and it will always be remembered as that. Too bad the sequels had to be the way they became (don't need words for them, really).

An immortal classic.

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