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sharkattack1978

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58 reviews in total 
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A throwaway horror (contains minor spoilers), 10 February 2014
4/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is a throwaway horror. You know the kind that you watch once and then forget about it? This is one of them. It's entertaining and a little shocking at the start but then it just becomes a formulaic by numbers horror/thriller where you just have to leave your brain by the door. The story is NOT well told. You never find out who the burnt man is who is doing these killings. Who is putting him up to the murders or why can't the police find him before he kills again. You just watch a teen fodder is killed over and over again and the fact this movie is called Chain Letter gives you an idea how they are killed. Plus also this film doesn't show that much of the gore. It gives you a little but it's so fast, blink and you miss it. Let me say this, this is not SAW, this is not a teenage version of SAW and as others have stated it will never be like SAW. If they had told more of the story towards the origin of these killings, this film might have been good and yes even THAT ending would have be explained better and therefore more shocking when it plays out as the final act. However it's just a forgettable horror that leaves you confused and underwhelmed.

6 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Army of two reaches a frontier, 5 April 2013
8/10

I have just finished playing Army of Two the Devil's Cartel and was it any good? HELL YEAH IT WAS! I had immense fun playing this game. So much so, I'm playing it again. This is a bang for your bucks type of game, it has the action and even some laughs. Now before you ask, this one is about two new elites called Alpha and Bravo, but don't let that fool you, Salem and Rios are in this too at major intervals. They are still very much integral to this game. This new chapter brings some very new revelations to light which will shock you before you reach the climax to this great game. This roller-coaster of fun leads you from one intense fight to another intense fight relentlessly with hardly any breaks via the cut scenes but you will love the ride. The bits that everyone most loves are still here from gun customization, mask customization and even outfit customization as well as a better havok engine and even better accuracy with the guns. included as well is a much better Melee system that allows you to do unspeakable damage to your enemy which I found immensely satisfying to do.

AOT: TDC is an immensely fun game for those who love their shoot 'em ups and yes it even has plenty of playback value, i'm playing it for a second time, just to try new guns and new ways of vengeance. Army of Two is still one of the top shoot 'em ups out there, gear up, strap on and kick ass!

V/H/S (2012)
1 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
VHS is no video drome but it will mess with your head!, 21 February 2013
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

O.K. before I start, this film should contain a warning label saying that anyone who suffers from motion sickness, should either take travel pills before watching this or should just avoid it completely. The camera is literally all over the place and before even the end (say about 30 minutes through) I did have to reach for the sick bucket. Not for the content which i must admit for an 18 was lacking but because the camera made me dizzy and nauseous. VHS is supposed to be one of those found footage homages to great anthologies like Creepshow, tales from the Crypt, trick 'r' treat and those other great movies that had three to five stories in one film. VHS has a good concept, it's simple and sometimes effective, but the rest of the movie is annoying and doesn't make any sense whatsoever. The film is compiled by some great independent directors like TI West who brought us the chilling House of the Devil but he also brought us the awful Cabin Fever 2. His story in this is perplexing but I'll get to that later.

The films opens with some guys wrecking things, playing pranks and molesting some poor woman in a car park by lifting her top and showing her breasts. Tehn the action switches to a car and the story that is explained on the cover takes flight. Their mission is to retrieve a VHS videotape from some old guys home. Seems straightforward right? WRONG! when they get there they find a dead body in front of some TV sets and a load of VHS tapes. One poor unfortunate member of the group must subject himself to the horror on the tapes.

Warning!!! the following does contain spoilers....and there's a reason that I put these as it warns you what you are letting yourself in for. This movie has stories that have no end, only two end satisfactory and that's Amateur Night and 10/31/98. The rest will leave you scratching your head and saying "is that it?" If i had known that this was what the movie was about, I might have liked it more. Hence that said I will be watching VHS2, but at least I will go into it knowing what to expect.

The first story of the bunch is Amateur Night. This one was actually fairly scary. It's a simple story of Lads going out of a night and pulling women to come back and have sex with them. The whole story is told from the perspective of a nerd like character who has a camera in his glasses but they get much more than they bargained for when the woman turns out to be a blood thirsty monster who has a crush on guy with glasses. Needless to say a bloodbath ensues and he runs for his life. The monster thinking that he doesn't like her and terrorises him until she picks him up and drops him from a very high height. this film contains what feels like skipping so if you are watching this on DVD or Bluray and thinks something is wrong with the DVD/bluray, DON'T, it is part of the film. It was made this way.

The second story SECOND HONEYMOON is a perplexing tale about a newlywed couple checking into a hotel and when they go to sleep, some mysterious girl is filming them with their video camera. The first night, they are just watched and filmed, the second night, the woman use a switchblade knife on the woman's buttocks. Then the third the man is brutally stabbed in the throat. The Wife of the poor guy asked the woman if she deleted the murder and the film ends. Not a very satisfying end, it's the "is that it" end I was talking about.

The third is definitely the ridiculous of them all. TUESDAY THE 17TH. Just a rip off of Friday the 13th with a pixelated man who is murdering some really stupid people. enough said! The fourth one STRANGE THING HAPPENED TO EMILY, is actually a good story but a perplexing end. It starts with a girl showing herself topless on a webcam to some guy who says he is some kind of doctor. The girl becomes friends with the guy and then she gets plagued by ghostly going ons (paranormal Activity 4 anyone?) She sees these things and falls unconscious, in which he comes round and pulls something out of her back. (WTF!?) It ends with the guy finding another girl/woman who shows him herself topless. Plot holes is how the hell he got there in the first place when he was talking to her via his home?????? The fifth story begins after the poor guy watching these tapes finds out that the man ain't dead and of course he meets a grisly end. The fifth story 10/31/98 is a halloween party gone majorly wrong. a bunch of guys go round to a house expecting a party and they get much more than they bargained for when it turns out that a cult are trying to sacrifice a girl and rid themselves of a demon. Like other modern horror clichés the girl turns out to be possessed and while trying to save her, she imprisons them in a car which is then hit by a speeding train.

That in a nutshell is what you can expect to see in this movie. If my explanation has helped and you still want to watch this knowing what to expect and be prepared for it, then all i say it just don't expect too much and you may enjoy it. This movie definitely has the WTF? ratio to it and hopefully my explanation has helped with the abrupt endings that you experience in this movie. VHS is a good idea but not fully used to it's potential.

Buried (2010)
4 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Being BURIED alive will become your greatest nightmare, 6 February 2011
9/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Now I know what you are thinking, is this film worth my time and money. YES it is. This is a well acted, fairly well thought out thriller that will make you hold your breath from the intensity of the subject matter. It is terrifyingly real and everything the principal character feels, you will be made to feel right up to the last second where the last twist will shock you and stay with you long after the credits have rolled. Ryan Reynolds has always been one of my fave actors since he was in Van Wilder and the Amityville horror. Reynolds has proved that he can do both comedy and drama and here he does keep you on the edge of your seat for 90 mins. The films running time actually mirrors the time that Reynolds character is subjected to during his ordeal under the ground. Reynolds is the core of this film as the whole film is of him and no-one else. The film is a well crafted piece of suspense and even if you think you already know the ending, how it is executed stays with you even after the film ends. Reynolds plays Paul Conroy, a track driver of a company called CRT. After an ambush in the Iraqi wastelands, his whole convoy is killed and he is held alive but under the Iraqi desert in a wooden box that could easily become his tomb. With only a lighter, a mobile phone which is rapidly losing battery and a flask of brandy, Paul realises he must keep his wits about him to escape this nightmare where time is rapidly running out.

WARNING THIS NEXT PART CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS!!! Now if you were put in a wooden box and buried several feet under the Iraqi desert and you were running out of not only air but battery, what would you do? Well for a start, you try not to panic as the franticness of the situation would make you lose more air than if you were calm. However how can you stay calm stuck halfway under the ground. Paul only has a handful of numbers to call while in the coffin but this is supposed to be emergency services, yet none of them really give a crap that he is placed in a Stupid coffin miles from nowhere. The voice acting on the other end of Paul's are superb and helps pull you further into Paul's nightmare and succeeds to force you into the same frustration that Paul finds himself on the receiving end of. Now a lot of people (especially on IMDb.com) that criticise Paul manner while he speaks to these people while to the coffin. His anguish and abuse is understandable in this situation. If you were stuck in the ground, wouldn't you be cheesed off? Paul does have this trait but it doesn't spoil the sympathy that you feel for his character throughout the movie. Top that with the fact that his company couldn't give a crap about him which is revealed in a phone call with the chief of personnel at Paul's place of work and also to find out that the person who is supposed to be helping him is bloody lying to him the whole time, adds to the anguish that Paul and the audience feels as the movie comes to its climax. and just having someone saying "I'm sorry" as you feel like your life is slipping away just fuels it more. By the end of the movie I was thinking that if I had been Paul and I had of got out of there, that jerk at CRT would have been my first port of call and had the crap kicked out of him for what he done. By the end I was annoyed by the way it ended, it seemed like Paul finally accepted his fate. just when you think he is being rescued, a nasty curve-ball comes along to deliver that last shocking blow to your and Paul's senses. However now looking back, the ending does work as it leaves an emotional scar in your mind and even at some point haunts you as you know that in Iraq, things like this ACTUALLY happen and people disappear and we have no idea where they are. Buried is a terrifying thriller that I'm sure you will be talking about for days afterwards. This is a captivating movie and it is EVIL in its execution but Buried is a film that cannot be ignored.

Dead Rising 2 (2010) (VG)
6 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Dead rising 2 is a phoenix rising from the ashes, 1 October 2010

After the success of the original Dead rising. I really wanted to see a sequel to it. Finally in 2010, our wishes have been answered. Enter Dead Rising 2. Is it as good as the original? Well....Yes it is, easily surpasses the original by miles. Frank has not returned for the sequel, instead this new edition to the zombie survival horror is focused on a new hero. Exit Frank West, enter Chuck Greene. Chuck is a motocross legend and a devoted father, but when the zombie outbreak threatens his family, Chuck must man up and take on the zombie threat anyway he knows how. Everything we enjoyed and loved about the original is back and i mean back with a vengeance. Firstly not only can you pick up anything and use it as a weapon but you can also combine them and make an even vicious weapon to help dismember and dessicate any zombie can come into your path. Slaying zombies is even more fun to do in DR2, I spent hours dispatching the horrifying horde. Once again the psychopaths are back in force and there seemed to be more in DR2 than there was in DR. DR2 is more fun to play than the first game and it is certainly much more gory and gruesome. The only gripe I have about this game is that the damn breakable weapons return as well. Things like MMA groves, Boxing gloves and Swords would not break, so why after using them for three minutes do they disappear/break? The game is more challenging than the first one but this time you can have a friend help you in your hour of need as DR2 has got a co-op mode where you can both take on the campaign and the zombies. Playing on your own is fun yet sometimes a little frustrating but playing together is an absolute blast.

DR2 is the game that you wished for, if they do another DR3 then they have to get rid of the breakable weapons.

Growth (2010)
18 out of 45 people found the following review useful:
prepare to squirm in your skin, 22 January 2010
6/10

If you love Squirm and Slither, then you will love this. It will give you the chills and even the most hardened horror fan will shudder when he sees the "things" burrow through into the flesh of an unsuspecting victim. Growth is a new body horror from the company that produced SAW, MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D which was Lionsgate. I have to say I have been impressed by the horror movies that Lionsgate are releasing as most of them are good. I love nature gone bad movies and body horror movies, so I gave this a whirl. Well let's just say I was scratching my skin about 45 into the film. It really does make your skin crawl. Most of the time the parasites are CGI but they are CGI that you can believe in and be repulsed by and believe me they are repulsive. Through some scenes I actually even felt sick. It is a movie that plays with your mind and your body at the same time. believe me it will GROW on you.

Grave Mistake (2008) (V)
7 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
this film isn't a grave mistake to watch., 27 November 2009
5/10

considering that this was a low budget grade z movie, it was fairly good. The acting in this may not be of great quality but it is an amusing story with some great special FX for a low quality production. The zombies unlike other low budget low grade zombie flicks do actually look really good and the special of the "kills" are actually fairly gruesome. it's nothing new to the zombie genre but you could do a lot worse with your 90mins than watch this. It is a comedy as well if you look at the characters in this. half of them had me laughing excessively because they were so larger than life over the top characters and even some of the things that they say are fairly cringe worthy but also make a giggle. don't expect too much from this movie and you'll have a good time. After all, this isn't a George A romero film.

Brütal Legend (2009) (VG)
17 out of 20 people found the following review useful:
Brutal legend is brutally brilliant, 25 October 2009
9/10

A game forged out of the rock of ages has come, giving the hard rocking metal fans what they want. Awesome tunes, rocking action/violence, big stars and a few well placed curse words. That game is Brutal legend. Jack Black is hilarious as Eddie Riggs, a poor roadie who meets an untimely end after trying to save some pratt on a rock n roll stage. His soul is taken to Hell where rock is a weapon of choice. Eddie dispatches evil with a huge battle axe and his trusty guitar and lays waste to anything in his path. Take a good look at the name of this game. It's called BRUTAL LEGEND and it means what it says. This is a very gory game but that's what I love about it. There's decapitations, limbs being hacked off, people being run over, you name it, this will probably have it. Also it has the best rock/metal tunes of yesteryear pumping out and rocking your console as you progress through the game. I found this game a lot of fun. It quenched my blood-lust and also appealed to the rocker within me. Jack Black does an excellent job as the hero of the game. He makes you totally believe in the character and you wonder where the quests will take you next. Cameos come a plenty in this from the prince of darkness himself Ozzy makes an appearance, Rob Halford from Judas Priest as well as Lemmy from Motorhead is involved in the storyline, leaving the best part of the villain to the great Tim Curry. BRUTAL LEGEND is the game that Metal/Rock fans have been waiting for and it has been a long wait. Finally it's here and it ROCKS!!!!

The Guys (2002)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
your heart will feel for 9/11, 20 September 2009
9/10

9/11 was a disaster that still devastates us to this day. We can't forget the horrific visions that we saw on that day and probably never will. I myself have been to ground zero and seen for myself the terrifying and upsetting wreck that was the mighty standing tall monument that was the great World trade center. When I heard that Hollywood was taking notices of this tragedy, I knew I wanted to see them all. The Guys was one that I really wanted to see. I have seen Flight 93, United 93 and World Trade Center, so I was happy to see that the film was finally playing on UK's TV station ITV. The film is mainly based around two strong principal characters. These characters are the journalist and the fire captain who are still trying to come to terms with the hundreds of deaths of all the fire-crew who lost their lives during the towers collapse. Sigourney Weaver who has always been one of my fave actresses give a star turn, even Oscar worthy performance as Joan and Anthony LaPaglia who I have liked ever since I saw him in Innocent Blood, gives a heart wrenching performance as Nick, the fire captain whose grief for his men has not yet subsided and who had to say heartfelt eulogies for every man he lost on that tragic day. The conversations that they share was extremely well scripted and the emotion is so well put across that you could easily mistake it for genuine. maybe even it was, maybe both Weaver and LaPaglia did experience their own emotions during the real attack and used it to the max and it shows in their performances. The film never gets boring and I found it extremely poignant. The friendship the two share throughout the film is not a romance kind of friendship, even though during the movie they seem to be hitting it off. The friendship they share is a connection in some way, it can't be described but there is definitely some closeness between the characters. The conversation does just stem on the eulogies but dancing, fantasies, but also visions of the real life aftermath and memorials. Children's pictures of lost parents, newspaper clippings, lit candles, all well placed in the movie and you are drawn into it as if it's not a film you are watching. It's more like you are watching something thats real. It's amazing how two strangers could form a friendship on something so tragic and yet they do and it's interesting to see and somewhat engaging too. I even wish that we could turn back time and stop 9/11 from happening just as much as the characters desire to do so also. 9/11 is never forgotten.

3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Go 'outer' your mind, 19 June 2009
9/10

This is easily the best episode of the new Outer Limits. David Hyde Pierce (Niles from Frazier) expertly plays a scientist who believes that he can change the jail/prison over population. His idea is the fact that you trick the prisoners that they are serving their 'time' when in fact it's by.... Well i won't spoil it and if you want to know the full synopsis which include spoilers then check the full synopsis at the top of the page. The reason why I say this is the best episode is because this is the most chilling that I have ever seen the Outer Limits envision. It's also an episode that makes you think 'what if it could really happen'. The thing that is most chilling about this episode is the fact that the situation the character is experiencing seems so real that even you see it as real too. If you love The Outer LImits, then you really must check out this episode, you'll never see reality the same way again.


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