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Trash Humpers (2009)
The Emperor Has No Clothes... or Talent
Comparing this worthless, punishing swill to even the worst of John Waters or David Lynch gives it way too much credit. So Harmony Korine (a great name for a gangster's moll) was able to replicate the look of a crappy 8th generation VHS videotape? That's some feat. So he got a bunch of irritating exhibitionists to unconvincingly disguise themselves as old people and then set them loose to hump trashcans and break old TV sets? Bravo. The only true accomplishment here is getting intelligent people to A) masochistically sit through this non-movie and then B) actually try to critique and interpret it like it's something more than the pathetic indulgence of someone who has so much contempt for his audience that he makes Marguerite Duras look like Nora Ephron.
Queen Kong (1976)
A Steaming Pile of Apeshit
As a tot in 1976, I remember seeing blurbs and photos from this in "Famous Monsters of Filmland" and "The Monster Times", and then hearing it had been suppressed by Dino DeLaurentiis. I grew up imagining a cheeky, raunchy, hip spoof and now, finally, over 32 years later, I feel compelled to report QUEEN KONG is the worst movie I've ever endured, and that includes MYRA BRECKINRIDGE (and JUNO). Smug, ghastly cheap (what the hell did they spend the 632K budget on, exactly?!), laugh-free, irritating to the point of nausea, its 84 minutes feel like hours. There's not enough material here to sustain a two-minute sketch in the worst KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE knock-off you could ever imagine, and I would like to personally test anyone who finds this entertaining for developmental disabilities. It makes Dino's KONG look like the 1933 original and should be avoided at any price. I would rather sit through two semesters of trigonometry, go without sex for six months, and endure a jalapeno enema than have to view this again. It's really that bad.
Delicious, Ballsy & Instantly Addictive
This spin-off manages the tough task of being just as entertaining as its glamorous mother show "Footballers Wive$"-- in some ways it's even better, since its compact episode lengths (22m for Series One and 33m for Series Two) allow for a faster pace. "Extra Time" really deserves to be judged on its own. It carves out a unique identity, grittier, raunchier, less suburban, yet absolutely in keeping with FBW's high standard of unpretentiously heightened drama.
Among the many pleasures of "Extra Time"'s all-too-brief two seasons: expertly crafted plot lines involving Anika Beevor, Tanya Turner's ruthless baby sister, and her whorifying simultaneous relationships with Earls Park owner/pervy ex-pop star Gary Ryan and his hot son Oliver, and the murderous love triangle between Bruno Milligan's housing estate love child Yasmin, doomed footballer Seb Webb and fascinating roughneck sociopath Cash Brown; and the return of sick bitch-nurse Jeanette Dunkley, whose antics with Darius are so wrong they're right.
Add to this the best cast since FBW Series One. Sarah Matravers has the gutsy, commanding quality of Rachel Griffiths-- Joly Salter, her hard-luck mum abandoned by Bruno years before anchors the show with real family heart much the way Jackie is the moral center of FBW. Marc Bannerman is the manliest slab of FBW beef since Jason Turner-- helping spike the hunk quotient are the enormously appealing Marc Hendrey as Rees, Jack Pierce's psycho-sexy Cash, and Travis Oliver, who provides the best nudity in FBW history as Anika's troubled toy-boy. His and hers scene-stealing top honors go to Ross Finbow as Cash's put-upon, affecting accomplice Woody, and the outrageously charismatic Dominique Moore. Playing Yaz and Rees's trashette pal Chanel, she's hilarious, shameless and bubbling over with entitlement. In short, she's what FBW has always been all about.
Sod off, naysayers. Now I want to watch every episode of EXTRA TIME again.