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The Happening (2008)
Not bad at all!
I wasn't sure what to expect from this movie but I have been intrigued by it for many months now for two reasons:
a) M Night Syhamalan generally delivers a good story with a killer twist
b) It looked quite spooky and bizarre in the trailer and I wanted to know what was "happening".
I was a little apprehensive about it as I thought Lady in the Water was plain awful but The Sixth Sense, Signs and The Village were all very good and Unbreakable was interesting enough to keep my attention so I figured it would be a good story! I was right...
From the opening scene my attention was grabbed and I was thrown in full throttle as people started killing themselves for absolutely no reason. The first 5 minutes is deeply disturbing and brilliantly shot and for the next half hour or so it is intense and captivating in every way...but then that changes! Within 40 minutes you know what is "happening" and it is a little disappointing and not a great deal happens in the next 40 minutes (but there is one scene involving a lawn mower which is great). But then the last 10 minutes picks it up again and there are some real jumpy moments and then we get a nice ending and a decent closing scene.
All in all this is much better than I expected and some critics have slammed it - I personally would give 8/10 for the first 40 minutes, 4/10 for the next 40 minutes and 8/10 for the last 10 minutes which rounds up to a nice...
Go see it, it isn't all that bad!
Prom Night (2008)
I have just been to see this movie and all I can say is "What a pile of s***"!!!!! If this had been a re-make of the original Prom Night it could have been half decent (maybe gaining a respectable 3 or 4 stars) but instead they have just used the title and made a whole different movie that is beyond awful!!!! I love horror movies and have seen some pretty awful ones in my 26 years but this rates up there with the worst of them including Rob Zombie's version of Halloween, Hostel: Part 2, the re-make of When A Stranger Calls (I didn't think anything could be worse than that) and Premonition. I even enjoyed AvP:R more even though it was stupid and OTT but at least it had a smidgen of dignity!!! I can honestly not say anything good about Prom Night - the cast were awful, the acting was awful, the direction was awful, the story was awful, the script was awful - it was all just awful!!! And - to make matters worse the tagline reads: "It's Midnight Everyone's Ready To Go Home - But Someone Has Other Plans" Which pisses me off for 2 reasons - A) The Grammar is just atrocious and B) It has no relevance to the movie because it all happens before midnight and all the kids are staying at the hotel so nobody planned on going home anyway!!! Easily the worst movie of 2008...so far!!!
Five Across the Eyes (2006)
So bad its actually quite good in an awful kind of way!
I rented this movie last night for 3 reasons:
a) I am a big horror movie fan; b) It had been shown at many festivals which is usually a good sign and c) I was hungover and wanted mindless trash to watch
So, I put it on and immediately the style of direction made me think of Blair Witch, another good sign, and then the acting started!!! These five girls could possibly be the worst actors I have seen in a long long time! Anyway, the movie panned out like I expected: Girls on way home in dark in car; Girls hit another car; Driver of said car goes in pursuit of girls; Driver is nuts; Driver tries to kill girls and traumatises them and so on! The actress playing The Driver was just as hideous as the other five girls but at least she looked like she was having some fun with it!!!! However, I could not stop watching it! I am one of these people who tends to switch a movie off if it hasn't grabbed my attention within 10 minutes but something about this made me keep watching and it was actually quite disturbing and some of the direction was quite clever (the bit when the camera stays in the car and you hear the girls screaming in the forest and gunshots are heard for like 5 minutes was quite well done).
I am giving this film 2 out of 10 because it was pretty lame but it was quite good at the same time which I find hard to explain! If a friend wanted to watch it I wouldn't tell them not to but I wouldn't tell them to expect a masterpiece. I would also advise them to put the subtitles on (which I did) as the girls shout over each other and its sometimes hard to understand what they are actually saying!
All in all a load of mindless horror schlock crap which had a few good moments but was nothing spectacular in the slightest! Watch it, or don't watch it, your choice, I would advise either!
A pointless, pitiful, pathetic excuse of a move!
I was always sceptical about this movie being a huge fan of the JC original which has remained my number 2 favourite movie of all time for the past 15 years or so - and boy was I right to be! Rob Zombie, who I personally feel has directed two great horror movies with 1000 corpses and Devils Rejects, has completely and utterly ruined a classic movie! Yes I know he was never "remaking" the original and he was always planning on "re-telling" the story from a different perspective - but seriously Mr Zombie, why bother? All you have done is taken great characters and a great story and just made it into a useless, pointless piece of twaddle which should be locked away in movie hell forever! I think spending 55 minutes of movie time building up a character we already know was just stupid, I think making the likable main girl from the original into a foul mouthed, sex obsessed plank was just a waste of time and I think all of the random killings were just plain unnecessary! I award you 1 star Mr Zombie for this terrible movie and that is just because I liked that bit at the beginning where you froze young Michael Myers running away from school and played the classic Halloween theme tune - if you hadn't put that bit in you would get 0 stars! Rubbish!
4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
The Best Movie of 2007.....So Far
I was not a great fan of the first Fantastic Four movie. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed it for the pure fact that I could escape from reality for a couple of hours but it didn't quite grab me like the first X Men or the first Spiderman movies - mainly due to too much character building. That did not put me off seeing FF2: ROTSS though as I knew that it would be SO much better than the first one - and boy was I right! Not only did this move have great special effects, some excellent humour and some real "WOW" moments (all I will say is that the new spaceship is pretty awesome) but it also had one of the most curious and interesting characters in a comic book movie which came in the form of The Silver Surfer. Doug Jones did a great job and Larry Fishburne as the voice of The Silver Surfer is nowhere near as bad as some people make out. Along with The Silver Surfer came Galactus who is perhaps the most imposing and threatening bad guy ever created in a comic book movie.
All in all this was an amazing movie and I could quite happily go back to the cinema and watch it all over again - 10 out of 10 - best movie of 2007.....until Transformers!
Hostel: Part II (2007)
Perhaps the worst sequel ever!
I have just watched this movie and as a (minor) fan of the original I have to say I am actually annoyed at how bad this movie is! The first movie was OK and had some memorable scenes, likable characters and that bit with the eye! This movie had nothing going! It was slow, tedious, irritating and just a big pile of random s*** on a stick! The characters were just annoying and the whole thing with Roger Bart's character and his stupid from friend Desperate Housewives was just pathetic and pointless.
For a sequel that could have been so promising and taken things to another level, Hostel part poo just failed to deliver and I beg anyone who reads this to take my word for it and avoid this movie at all costs! If you are after a horror sequel which is worth watching then I would personally watch Friday the 13th Part 2 which is absolutely awful but so so so much better than Hostel Part 2! Oh, and Eli Roth - you officially suck!
Underrated comedy excellence
I remember watching this movie when I was working in America in the year 2000 with my cousin and absolutely pissing my pants with laughter at it.
I then totally forgot about it until I noticed it on a website for sale for like £3 and thought I would buy it and see if it was as funny as I remembered. It was - and it was funnier the second time around.
Molly Shannon is an underrated comedic actress who we should see more often and who should be given lead roles on a more regular basis as she is absolutely hilarious in Superstar.
This movie has absolutely no point and no story but is just full of class comedy moments which make me chuckle over and over again. And not only is Ms Shannon rather good in it - Will Ferrell is on top form before he made it big time. Its just a shame he didn't drag Molly with him and make her as big a star as she is.
Get her in the Frat Pack now! Oh - and this movie is well funny so I recommend it highly to anyone with a sense of humour!
Bad bad bad bad movie!
I went to see Premonition the other day and I have to say I have never been so disappointed in a movie in a long long time! I actually wish that I had had a premonition before I went to see this telling me not to bother and to go see 300 instead, but as I am a sucker for supernatural / horror type movies and I am an even bigger sucker for Sandra Bullock I opted to go and see this awful pile of tripe.
The story is quite a good concept but it is just badly executed and the acting is lame, the direction is lame and there are so many plot holes it is like the swiss cheese of movies. I am not going to write anything to spoil this movie for anyone (I am not a fan of spoilers) but I will warn anyone wanting to see this movie to not waste their time or their money as you will come away thinking "what the hell was all that about?" And don't get me started on the end - I have never seen such a bad ending in all my life! Seriously this film is awful - so awful that I would rather watch Resident Evil: Apocalypse - and that is saying something!
The Wicker Man (1973)
I hated this movie
Why do people love this movie so much? Why is this movie always called a Cult Horror Classic? I have no idea - but what I do know is that I absolutely hated this movie from the minute it started to the minute it finished. As this movie was out before my time I wasn't really aware of it until the mid 90's when I read an article in a film magazine about the best horror films of all time and this one was placed quite high at number 3 or 4 so I decided to ask my dad about it. He went on to tell me that it was one of the greatest films of all time and that I have to see it as it is really really good. My mother overheard this conversation and told me to not bother as it sucked. I decided my dad would be right on this occasion as he had introduced me to many other great horror movies such as Halloween, Friday the 13th, Psycho and many others. After spending a few days trawling around video shops (this was before DVDs) I eventually found an old copy in a second hand shop and bought it and watched it. As soon as it finished I put it in the bin and had a row with my dad over his crap judgement and told my mother I would never not believe her again as this movie is just an absolute awful piece of junk which is just over-hyped and overrated and it isn't even a horror film! I know the masses will disagree with me but I don't really care as I hated it all and actually preferred the Nicolas Cage remake which was just as bad but at least it had some horror elements to it!
When a Stranger Calls (2006)
I want a refund!
My favourite movie genre is that of the "horror" category and as a rule I tend to pay a visit to my local cinema and watch any horror film that has been released regardless of the reviews I have read about it (which, lets face it, are usually bad). However, one horror film that I missed at the cinema was this remake of "When a Stranger Calls". I have to admit that I am quite sceptical when it comes to a remake or sequel or prequel of any kind but I still like to see them just to see what they are like, anyway, I missed this one at the cinema and totally forgot about it altogether until I paid a visit to my local Blockbuster and saw they were selling an ex-rental copy for a few quid and quite excitedly grabbed a copy and raced home to watch it. 90 minutes later and I wanted a refund! I have never been so utterly disappointed by a film in general never mind a horror film as this was by far the biggest piece of crap I have ever watched in my entire life. Basically the acting sucked, the storyline sucked and the setting sucked and all it involved was a whole hour of stupid phone calls to a stupid girl in a stupidly big house and then about six minutes of her being chased by the "stranger" who is then caught and taken away without any explanation at all as to why he was stalking the girl or why he chose her or what his motive was or anything of that calibre. Seriously, if you want to see a decent horror film I would recommend anything over this - in fact I wouldn't even call this a horror film as it wasn't even scary in the slightest bit and had no blood or gore or anything - I would watch the Care Bears Movie if I was you as that is way way scarier than this absolute waste of money and time that is called "When A Stranger Calls"! Rant over!