Reviews written by registered user
Vastarien202

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48 reviews in total 
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Legion (2010)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
So, so bad!, 19 September 2010
2/10

I had the misfortune of getting dragged to see this, and while it did leave an impression, it's a bad one. The two main issues I had with it are these: 1) Lazy sound editing! Note to studios, LOUD is not BETTER! The music and effects noises were at near-painful levels at all times, while the actors spent a good 75 percent of screen-time either whispering or seemingly mumbling. The next problem I had with it is that the film was almost too dark to see anything when the most important things were going on. The only thing I actually liked in this waste of celluloid was the old lady near the beginning....SHE was very well done, and almost scary. That said, just find the clip with her in it on Youtube, the rest isn't even worth renting.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Truly magnificent!, 28 February 2010
10/10

I saw this last night, and I was deeply, deeply moved. This film is pure gold, a drink of clear water after a day in the sun. This is a story of hope, love, sacrifice, and the true meaning of selflessness. This film does not need to resort to preachy-ness, its message is shown through the deeds of Taro and what he inspires others to do for themselves. The art style is very distinctive, and beautiful. The landscapes feel very real, and the characters fit well within their world. The music and songs are lovingly crafted, and the story will leave you smiling through tears. This was an incredible work of love, and it deserves to be seen again and again. There is some slight nudity, but only once, and nothing sexual. I can't praise this one highly enough. See it for yourself, and you will understand.

Twilight (2008/I)
8 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
This is why the terrorists hate us, 16 January 2010
1/10

What can I say about this movie? It's incredibly boring, like Edward, vapid and aimless with no imagination or emotion, like Bella, and an absolute chore to sit through. Frankly, I have seen five-year-olds with more acting ability and passion. This really is a vampire movie, because it sucks the life out of the audience and leaves you starving for actual talent. When I finished watching this, I immediately put in my old WWF tapes, so I could see some GOOD acting and plot. It's a sad commentary on us as a people when drivel like this becomes successful. I haven't subjected myself to the books because I don't want to be seen in public with them. The shame and anguish of having seen this movie was more than enough.

0 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Like pure liquid gold., 13 January 2010
8/10

I just finished watching this movie, and I must declare it...almost perfect. I love the animation style, the color choices, the almost-touchable textures, and thoroughly enjoyed the story itself. What didn't I like? Thankfully, there are very few things I disliked; but my major bone to pick was sadly one of the casting choices. For some reason (maybe I'm just too familiar with him), hearing George Clooney as Mr. Fox himself just didn't gel with me. I just couldn't accept this voice coming from that character, and it was rather hard not to see the person over the puppet. Perhaps if I was younger and had no real idea who Clooney was, it may have set better. In any case, that's really the only serious issue I had with the film itself. The story itself is nothing short of brilliant; it really does have something for everyone without being stupid. It's one of the few "family" films lately that has the 'nards to toss a bit of grimness and real darkness into the mix.

Mr. Fox's actions DO have very severe consequences, not only for his own family but everyone around him as well. The ending itself is rather ambiguous and somewhat poignant, which suits the tale well.

This is a rare and fleeting beauty of a film, see it while you can, and add it to your collection when it comes out.

2012 (2009/I)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
This movie makes Tango and Cash look like American History X, 6 December 2009
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

As others have said before me, this film sucks. It sucks as an action film, it sucks as a drama, it sucks as a family film, and it sucks by existing. With that out of the way, the one thing thing it does well at is un-intentional comedy. I have never, and I mean never, laughed so hard in public. I was on board with the seriousness until I saw a subway train come hurtling out of the ground and barely miss a small plane. At that point, I literally laughed so hard, I actually sprinkled! I got lots of dirty looks from some of the other people in the showing, but I just could not take anything in this film seriously. It's one big joke from start to finish, and it's hilariously bad. Not one person ever acts believably, except for the incredibly annoying daughter. She shrieks and sulks her way through it all with amazing consistency, and I just wanted to shoot her in the face after five minutes. Speaking of mercy-killing, the black scientist is the next one I'd take out. (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Seriously, this man has zero concept of what "survival of the species" means. When he sees the room which has been prepared for him, he freaks out ans gasped "You could fit 10 people in here!" Yes,probably, but that's not the point. This moron would rather have an ark jammed with starving, disease-ridden humans instead of a few clean, healthy ones. He seems to think the human race would be better served by letting a huge, panicked crowd onto a ship which is literally minutes from launch. If I had been in charge of the mission, this man would have been shot in the head the moment he opened his mouth about what it means to be human. Next, I would have found the stow-aways and killed them too. The mission would run as planned, and no crap about selfless brotherhood would enter anyone's mind. I have to agree with the Joker when it comes to human nature: "These people are only five days from eating each other at any time." For proof of this, look at what happens in any area hit by disaster.

This movie wants us to think we would all put aside our differences and work to our mutual benefit. I call bull on that one. The secret program would be doomed from the start, because every nation would want to control who got on the ships and who didn't. In the end, the various governments would just start a massive nuclear war to kill most of the population off, and scrape whoever was left in the bunkers into the ships. That way, there would be close to zero competition for any remaining resources, and no question about who was in charge. (END SPOILER)

Seriously, this movie is great if you chuck your brain out the window and treat it as a comedy. If you do anything else, you will be sadly disappointed.

4 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
Perfectly Creepy!, 27 September 2009
10/10

I can't believe that WB would just sit on this film! I saw it last night and was thrilled to be doing so, after waiting for it for two years. The style is a dead-on homage to classic 80's films Creepshow 1&2, while maintaining its own uniqueness. The effects are spot-on, the settings are gorgeous, and the costuming is excellent. The acting is no slouch either, and I loved the cameo by the "Bad Santa" kid in story 2. The film takes place over Halloween night, and is slit into four stories which interlock in unexpected ways. As mentioned before, each one has a creepy twist, and I won't spoil them here. This is an instant classic, and deserves to be seen by as many people as possible. I for one can't wait to own it, if it ever becomes possible. Remember kids, always check your candy!

6 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Perfect., 12 September 2009
10/10

Conan is the first film I ever remember watching. We had it on laserdisc when I was young, and later on VHS and now I own it on DVD. This film has literally shaped my life and followed me as I grew up. I have no further praise to add, for others have posted more eloquently than I can manage. Simply, this is a story of revenge, redemption, freedom, power, and true strength. The score raises this film to true greatness, never wasting a note. No author yet has had such a faithful adaptation of his work, with perhaps the exception of the LOR trilogy. I only hope that this epic film never gets re-made, because it could never be so perfect again. It may be dated, the effects non-flashy, and the pace a bit slow, but it still speaks to many on a deeply personal level which can never be put into words. If you haven't seen it yet, do so. Tell your friends, and let them see it too.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Not great, but OK, 12 September 2009
5/10

I'm pleased to add this little Cubic Zirconia to my collection of gems. The plot is almost non-existent, the characters incredibly one-dimensional, but despite that, it was a good effort. It was obvious that at least some research on Candomble was done, and the ritual scene was amazingly well-crafted. The "Black Demons" themselves had great make-up, and the few gory scenes there were left little to be desired. Now, we come to the meat of it all: the acting. In a word, terrible. This isn't a film to be taken seriously anyway, but the unintentional comedy is everywhere. From accents that randomly disappear, accents too thick to understand, and the eye-bulging freak-outs of the maid, this is one film that's worth seeing in spite of itself. Get some friends together,pop this in, and have some laughs.

Pontypool (2008)
5 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
Wow!, 28 August 2009
9/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I saw this last night and was blown away! It starts off a tad slow, but it picks up quick and delivers more than you ask for. All the performances are spot-on, and the entire mood is one of increasing dread. This film is a love-letter to the golden age of radio, and I kept thinking back to the original "War of the Worlds" broadcast. The sense of isolation was intense, and there was just no way to know what was really going on. This is one of the few films that have truly frightened me, and that's hard to do. The gore was minimal, but very well used, the story was solid, and the sheer weirdness of it all pushed this film into my top list. I also enjoyed the fact that the movie trusts its audience to be intelligent. There is no pat explanation to these events, no convenient back-story, and not even a certain ending. What there is, is an incredible experience which should not be missed. This is a literal breath of fresh air in Horror, and it was a joy to behold. Totally worth your time.

Felidae (1994)
20 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
Wow!, 5 April 2009
8/10

This is an amazing film. I had never heard of it before yesterday, but I found and watched it on Youtube....talk about blown away! I was not expecting such a deep story, or how graphic it was. I didn't walk in expecting Rainbow-Brite, but I was completely unprepared for the intense gore and scenes of the lab. I literally couldn't watch some parts of that, and I'm a gore-hound and horror fan. I'm not complaining, I just got caught off guard by it. I understand why it was done, and it was integral to the plot, but...brrrr. Anyway, I can't praise this film enough. The colors are rich, the characters are solid and strong, and the artwork is magnificent. I was surprised at how recently this was made, because it has the feel of something done much earlier. I have three felines of my own, and the body movements and mannerisms were perfectly right. As soon as the credits rolled, I immediately placed an order for this film. I will give it a place of honor in my animation collection, and I suggest you do the same. Just be aware that this is in no way a film for kids, and you have only yourself to blame if they see it and freak. Just hug your kitties when it's over.


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