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15 reviews in total 
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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
This is a dirty,filthy sick little number!, 6 March 2008

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

"you're 21 and still a virgin." Diologue like that could make a porno sound cheesy, Daddy is a wheelbound husband who sits by the window with binoculars peeking at strangers having sex.Daddy and his wife get ready for a so-called evening of sexual fun and games and send their "oversexed virgin" daughter to her cousin's.But she demands to stay since she's curious, there's a son too!And he insists on knowing if he's adopted since he has a longing for his dirty mother.Once both leave a bickering couple are let in the house, What happens for the duration of the film is full on insanity.

Richard Strong who plays Daddy almost echoes Zebedy Colt's crazy performances like UNWILLING LOVERS or SEX WISH.The dude is sick, creepy, and gross.The ending where the daughter gets revenge on her father is a neat twist,doing what she always wanted.The scene where a dude is humiliated with a strap-on dildo and Daddy screeches "F%^K him!Suck him! F^%k him! Suck him!" Over and over is hysterical yet pretty disturbing.I don't think I'm going to watch this again..its too sinful

1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
A western roughie? nah, 5 March 2008

I've never seen a western porno..I'm sure of that,especially when this was made in the 70's during it's golden chic era.I pretty much thought A Dirty Western was going to be about a town with full on sex,how wrong was I.Sarah and her man,Nate talk about their 18-year old daughters upcoming marriage some ranch dude will leave.Before They say goodbye they have good bye sex.

Once he's gone,the three escape convicts from the animated opening titles spot the ranch run over to see for food and clothes.They see Sarah's three daughters happily playing and naked.The main horny hairy convict catches Sarah and rapes her in a shack.From watching the rape it wasn't too rough like Water Power or Forced entry,but rather tame for a different porn genre.the three convicts hang Sarah up to her hands on a rope and take the daughters hostage.

A Dirty western has some decent acting only from Barbara Bourbon who plays Sarah,I've never seen her before until now,the rest of the cast are OK.Pretty much A Dirty Western was kind of predictable for me,but in all fairness it had some good cinematography.So if you're curious to see something else from the 70's golden era watch this or just wanna see a hairy dude rape a chick watch it.

4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
What did the credit say? Yasuharu Hasebe?! Really?!, 2 March 2008

Stray Cat Rock:Sex Hunter starts off as local girls running around the city,taking advantage of older men, stealing their money and going out for drinks.The head girl Mako lies outside of a bar and suddenly a man wanders over, singing a sorrowful ballad.They talk and get to know each other, then a pack of male gangs out to rid the city of half-breeds go over to threaten him to leave or get killed.This has a lot going on along with lots of revelations at the end.There's fights,Mako getting stoned with rocks,a hotel "rape party",an underground bar with actual bars, a frustrated gang leader named Baron who can't get it up.

When I realized it was a film made by Yasuharu Hasebe I was shocked since this is actually something early from him, he would later make the violent pinku entries:rape 13th hour,assault!jack the ripper, etc. This was a fantastic action film done by Yasuharu Hasebe he did an impressive job to what we've seen now, but a production from Nikkatsu it was way more like a toei.I didn't get much into Stray Cat Rock until the last 50 minutes,plus it was after watching Rica which I didn't like.But this was better especially Meiko Kaji.She's like Miki sugimoto and Reiko Ike,beautiful and badass.

If you LOVE the Japanese exploitation scene from the 60's or 70's like I do, you should definitely check it out.It's a winner..a real winner

3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
These TEARS are made for KILLING!, 26 February 2008

If Harry Potter was friends with Sarah Mandy,they would be BEST FRIENDS.why? Both they're parents were killed by evil forces and are being followed and now they have to stop it.Dario Argento's trilogy is complete,he makes la Terza madre give off a sinister feel throughout the film,its not like the first 2(SUSPIRIA,INFERNO)its dark,violent,gross,creepy and hypnotic in a way you see a candle light.Claudio simonetti's score is like the film:whispers,breathing and cymbals! Sarah is helped by her friend,Michael after her co-worker Giselle is BRUTALLY murdered by the coven and goes on a quest to find the truth.Once the evil has been released Rome becomes the set of God told me to Kill and everyone kills,kills themselves,A BABY! Daria appears before Asia like Gretchen in Harry Potter.Helping her along the visecrated corpses of the people who try to help her.A pack of witches that look like siouxsie Sioux try to capture her even the doomed Japanese girl with the most awesome cat and mouse chase since those de palma movies.

Sarah Mandy learns she has powers but Dario just shows us ONE which is...invisibility??! Hi Im Sarah,my parents were witches and I can become invisible. Near the end you'll remember something's never change in a Dario argento film,characters forget each other and wander about. watching La Terza madre was like watching a 2000 year old painting thats on display for one last time,Dario Argento may be too old but he's still trying better than what horror movies are now( like INSIDE).oh and if you wonder why I'm making fun..I'm not but hey you might laugh along with all of us in the end

Inside (2007)
6 out of 21 people found the following review useful:
"Inside" seems to look waaaayy outside, 18 February 2008

A couple get into a car crash and if you haven't seen this yet PAY CLOSE attention to the first lines spoken So this starts out alright and yeah this chick is pregnant,OH! look a nurse is smoking RIGHT in front of her.well... hey this isn't ITS ALIVE! characters are introduced in the strangest ways,"does she know that guy blocking her taking pictures?"they know each other,then SUDDENLY! a woman tries to break into her house and she's very demanding then later after all hell breaks loose the pregnant chick is sooo STUPID she prolly hasn't seen too many horror movies before,she's so DUMB!she can't kick her in the cooter,elbow her FACE! GASP!Soo many wrong mistakes!I'm guessing the 2 filmmakers have seen The Hand that rocks the cradle.. noo nevermind about that maybe it coulda been like that outer limits episode where the baby can talk to his mom and knows about the woman coming to harm them,but yeah sure... BLOOD SPLATTER! OK lots of people are saying that this is a horror masterpiece?! wow...its a clichéd horror masterpiece then. Oh no!a poor animal is killed,oh NO! soo much cruelty! where's norman bates when he shouts BLOOD! BLOOD!

Inside is a nice clever horror film with a dark subject matter(maybe) but its too cliché'd and predictable to be called a MASTERPIECE.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Not so Ferox at all, 16 February 2008

Umberto Lenzi is the man who started the whole Cannibal film phenomenon starting with his Horse With No Name knock off,Man From Deep River which is unseen by me,he has done Eaten alive,Nightmare city and Seven bloody orchid stains which was a bit of a weary film.His Cannibal Ferox is straight out of the success of it's predecessor Cannibal Holocaust and Lenzi was overshadowed with Deodato's film which made him go back to the jungle to shoot Ferox.

Gloria Davis ventures to the amazon in Paragauy to write her thesis on cannibalism,she believes it as a myth,with her goes her slutty friend and her brother.They go through a boat,witness a man eating a huge insect and they're told to take an animal with them,oh and with the animals in this film.Yes the killings are real and there's plenty but this was Lenzi's idea,the misunderstood Cannibal Holocaust and the animal killings were the natives idea's so blame Lenzi for that.They come across a native eating bugs and meet Mike Logan and Joe,helpless and hurt,Gloria and the others help the both men and they tell the crew that their guide was killed by the cannibals,"..then they ate his genitals"mike exclaims,they notice Joe's unpleasant expression,it might not be true after all.

Cannibal Ferox is badly made,there is no scenery at all,the score is in the wrong movie,the diologue,plus at the end catch university spelled with a V,most people say Cannibal Holocaust had cheesy music,bad acting and the delivery of the line"who are the real cannibals?"spoken late.Which infuriates me because nothing in Deodato's film is done badly the music is serious,acting is chilling during the demise and the line is spoken at the right moment.Giovanni Rodice plays Mike very evily that reminds us of Alan Yates only he shows no soul at all even until his end.

Deodato made a strong statement in Cannibal Holocaust about the shockumentarians who tried to find ways to shock people on brutality,here Lenzi recycles that statement like his Eaten Alive with scenes of other cannibal films.It's like a kid at a science fair who's project idea is stolen from another kid and passes it off as his idea.Cannibal ferox is more cannibal than idea.

Umberto Lenzi's eats every cannibal movie...VIVI!, 16 February 2008

Eaten Alive is a little film that opens in New York city and the arctic where tribe men shoot snake venom at a few people,then a woman enters the police precinct who's trying to find her sister that has disappeared after 6 months Sheila is from Alabama,but her accent sucks,she is teamed up with an adventurer who seems to just want her money and seems to say it a lot throughout the film.They venture through the amazon only to find a community with people and they find the sister,they're confronted by a mad man who has probably seen one too many Jim Jones preaches.He will bring them to a better place,it could be heaven but no,Mark and Sheila find out later its actually a suicide cult.

Why do I call Eaten Alive a "little film"? Ill tell you but when I watched it,I was floored through all the run ins with the cannibals,Robert Kerman has a different role than his professor in Cannibal Holocaust.He's a bit annoying,once we meet him at an arm wrestling match that looked like Russian roulette we know hes one tough guy.Plus the strong misogyny just makes you cringe and it looked like I saw it somewhere,oh the scenes of animals killing each other.But the whole film revolves on those scenes,its like were actually watching a images of nature with parts of a film But after watching this film I realized that most of the films scenes are taken from other cannibal films,even the demise of 2 of the characters,well..most of the film is.That's why I call this a little film,when I did found out that scenes were borrowed I felt like throwing the disc across the room,this isn't a film just a simple montage of sorts .

19 out of 29 people found the following review useful:
Intense "Vases De Noces" gives a disturbing look at the end of man's survival, 2 February 2007

I approached Vases De Noces with sheer caution, knowing what would lie ahead of me and all the talk surrounding it, it remains as strange, quiet, savage and disgusting. It has scenes that are revolting and ugly, you could beg the film for mercy to end and it still lingers on the screen like smoke. Vases De Noces could be on a category of its own. We see things as bestiality, corophagia, urine-drinking, etc and it does not shy away on what we can do is just stare or just close our eyes. Others have said that it's disgusting, vile, nasty, and sick and I have to agree that the film is not so enjoyable.

Sure all of this could make out that Vases De Noces (aka The *beep* movie) is such a wretched film that could leave you nauseated and would make you not look at an animal for a while, why is there a movie like Vases De Noces around? Was it done to just shock, disgust? Or enjoy? I could say the first two, knowing what I would wouldn't see. It is a film that has disappeared from out of thin air, nowhere to be found for someone to see and if they did, they shouldn't.

What I found so fascinating is how the farmer lives, he uses hot coals to take baths, prays before he eats, does his business in a portable toilet. Lingers about his farm tending to his chickens or putting dolls on them or just frolicking with his pig.Sure, frolicking with his beloved pig; chasing it around, rolling around the manure,until finally having sex that made me flinch in disgust, it's not too graphic but weirdly well done.Many reviewers have focus on the content and how tedious it is,never noticing how the sky and landscape shows how the post-apocalyptic the world is. After the pig has died and the Farmer burying himself with the pig, it is lurid.There is an amazing long shot of the black and white landscape fading slowly before the Farmer rises from the pigs grave. A strange but funny scene when the farmer eats and feeds his offspring, the little piglets run over to his plate. Refusing their food only to eat his and again and again he puts them back to their plate only to find them going back to his plate.

This review will make you think I enjoyed this film,although I can admit that I only enjoyed the cinematography and the isolation of the farmer.Watching this after watching the tedious Nekromantik 2 which went on and went on, I was engulfed from the loneliness of the farmer.Like the first original Nekromantik, the hero kills himself after it's horrific lifestyle in a very enigmatic way.Not much things are explained and I don't mind at all. I settle in giving Vases De Noces three stars out of four or a 6 1/2 out of 10, Not to saying I hated it or loved it, all I could tell you is don't watch it.

5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
It's painful to live in Buttgereit's sequel to the dead, 1 February 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I embarked to see Nekromantik 2 in optimism and happiness. since it was a cold night and I remember how the original made me feel after viewing, leaving me in a strange daze. I had nothing to do, especially on a week night. Watching Nekromantik was a huge thrill,I heard soo much about it's ending. How Jorge Buttergereit had more money,the movie has bigger budget.I watched as the plot unfolded…the film went on and I kept paying good attention at the first 20 silent minutes. I leaned back and forth through my twirly chair,earnestly to what went on.

Reader, I'm sorry, I really wanted to love this film, everything about had me annoyed, confused, overwhelmed and impatient. I admired Jorge Buttgereit for making a sequel out of his audacious first film. Here, he uses the same concept with a woman who recoils having sex with a dead person. The film is shot the same way as the original, it has no dark atmosphere, Buttgereit uses his score again, only different. He uses dreams again to see what may lead a head to his characters, but doesn't to the depths to them, there's hardly anything dialogue or hero to look up to. Before The SURPRISE ENDING I wanted to do cruel things to the screenplay; I yelled and tried to turn it off.I hated this movie,to tell you

Monika ,our new hero goes in the cemetery in broad daylight and digs up Rob Shmadtke who had a less boring life then her. She takes him to her apartment is a little better than Rob's was. There's no bodyparts around, only odd drawings .If you think Monika has sex with Rob's corpse, sure. But she's too good to get sticky with him! Monika is not a necrophiliac, she's just a poser. We see Betty! But sadly only for a moment, how a movie with her going on with her life with Rob's corpse. Sounds good, right? After she meet the bible salesman dresser, Mark, who works in dubbing in porn. We see Mark and Monika stroll around the park, this hapless Happy Together scene goes on forever, nothing eventful happens at all. This film is actually dead, but doesn't know it.There was nothing new at all in Nekromantik 2,there's an seal autopsy with women fixed to the screen,it may have worked in the first Nekromantik but it has no reason in this.

Lucker the necrophagous, kissed, aftermath, and Nekromantik had better ways of showing us the characters lives, and they had better ones.Monika doesn't really know what she wants in life or in death,we don't really get to know much about her except she likes having sex with Mark without moving,watching animal autopsies and hanging with friends.

A few things that annoyed me :the swaying of the camera in a bar scene where Mark yaks with a friend, Monika M's face and acting throughout,she even cuts Rob's body apart. She keeps his head and penis in the fridge, which Mark finds but ignores it. If I were to see it again and again, I might be able to take something good with it, but the problem is, when a movie's not worth seeing twice, it had better get the job done the first time through. But sure,I'll try seeing Buttgereit's Schramm and the Death king.I just won't watch this again…but maybe the ending.

One more thing,what the hell was it with the damn editing?cutting to black abruptly,it looked like a slideshow.

* out of ****

9 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
No Satan in sight...ZERO STARS outta ****, 13 June 2006

I read somewhere that there is a feud between Fred Vogel who made August underground and Mordum, and Lucifer Valentine,who insists his movie is better than Vogel's.I cant say anything about Vogel's film since its unseen by me, but I can say this film is an exercise in bad taste,worst than pink flamingos but without trying too hard, Strippers are murdered especially a fat woman who seems to like her breasts is killed the day after my birthday,isn't that nice.

Everyone in the film seems to talk in reverse,wear bad makeup and sleeps all day,girls address themselves to the camera they act like idiots or talk to it,but probably it's the point of view of a john,we never hear,"hey it happens"during the vomiting, "Ameara lavey"no relation to the Satanic preacher who seems to have a voice of a man and spends the whole time having makeup dripping down her eyes.

There are dizzying jump cuts,the sound effects are repetitive,and the actresses in this film seem to look very dirty and quite sad,which was probably their motivation,the film if you would call it that has strong misogynistic undertones and Valentine has fun making their actors' voices from normal to reverse,maybe after trying to turn his records backwards he tries to prove his lines might say something demonic..but it loses its purpose and gets annoying,there isn't much good diologue in this film and if it does,its about the girl's making themselves vomit,again addressing the camera and the difficulty of hearing the women talk because Lucifer slows down their voices.There's a sad scene when Angela played by"Ameara Lavey"incoherently tells a story when she was 13 she set fire to a church.We hear lots of strange sounds in the soundtrack that might probably be the boom operator scratching the boom mike across a wall or pots and pans being hit together.

There is one scene which I found very funny that is when a woman's arm is cut off,the killer gives her a microphone and a acoustic guitar which isn't very useful but the microphone sure is,this doesn't seem to be an art film,nor it has any narrative or a plausible plot,I was grown tired of the heavings,the gagging,the gore and the repetitive voices being slowed,I hope no one in their right mind watches it,there isn't much gore but there's plenty of T&A.The film has been banned in horror festivals due to debates whether its pornographic or just a horror film,this is an excuse for gore from an egomaniac who thinks his film is a masterpiece and I just hope its not release for theatres so people wont spend their 9 dollars on it or people who are wondering to download it,they should download something else.I keep thinking if the actors died for this movie,they looked like the heaved a lot by the end of this film you'll want to take a shower or brush your teeth

Much throughout the film I kept having the prodigy's "Smack my b!tch up" my head and the camera POV kept reminding me of the video,plus there's some vomit in the music video too but there wasn't a woman behind this camera.

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