Reviews written by registered user
asinyne

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107 reviews in total 
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More entertaining than one might think, 19 March 2017
5/10

OK, this is a fairly low budget vampire flick but you might want to check it out. It begins rather slowly, everything seems predictable and unoriginal. However, you keep watching due to the amazingly SEXY leading lady who plays the female vampire and love interest. She is >>>>HOT<<<<< It also helps that the film is pretty well produced, it looks good, very good sometimes. Things really pick up and it gets rocking though when Christopher Lambert takes the stage as a really rotten chief vampire dude. He really brings a lot of energy and his dialogue is zany as heck. I enjoyed his performance and there is some nicely staged action sequences. Also the effects when a vampire gets killed are pretty cool. They sorta turn into this black husk and then flake away like a burning newspaper. Cool. Then, towards the end of the movie it delves into some metaphysical, spiritual, pseudo madness that is kind of dumb but brings some more zany nuttiness to the fun. Maybe it was just me but here is a strong undercurrent of tongue in cheek at work here. The last scene kinda caps it all off and sends you away with a bit of a smile on your face. The Russian couple and a really annoying sidekick steal a few scenes. Other than Lambert and the dude playing the Russian jerk the acting is kinda stiff.

The bottom line is a mildly entertaining semi farce that might help you waste some time. There are some really interesting tidbits throw in like a iron cross at a monastery that trembles when a vampire is on the property, a vampire who says the lord's prayer and declares the bible to be the best selling work of fiction ever. Then there is a creepy grave robbing scene and vampires that bit each other on the neck. Not to bad.

not the best leads, 6 March 2017
4/10

some action fans might appreciate this cause there is quite a lot of shooting, fighting, crashing about and what have you. My biggest gripe were the leads. Neither were good actors, one was wooden and the other to over the top. It didn't help that both dudes were kinda on the pug ugly side. Not to say a action hero has to be pretty but the camera needs to like them a little bit. Anyhow, two burned out Aussie cops run around trying to solve a murder. Things get tense and bloody in a hurry. There are so good points about this flick. Its fast moving and sort of has a plot. I don't think most of the actors were really actors though and that ultimately doomed the overall decent effort. I think my score of a four is pretty accurate. Not the best way to spend your time I would offer. I appreciate the effort though...keep trying

fun dark serio comedy, 6 March 2017
6/10

This was pretty entertaining. Definitely borrows heavily from Pulp Fiction but thats not a bad thing. There is some silliness but I felt entertained. Its pretty violent and the violence is well staged. There is enough action for action fans. Carridine and Madsen had some fun scenes together and I enjoyed watching them play off each other. Very tongue in cheek. Heck, its a decent movie. The plot is wild but not bad. There were some very amusing scenes and all the madness kinda works for the most part. A different kind of madcap action flick. Pretty good. I watched almost until the end when a jackash co worker knocked my portable DVD player over when he tripped on the cord. Kinda fitting way to wrap up the fun.

Suspicion (2012/I)
a low key film, I liked it, 6 March 2017
7/10

A good little film that makes the most out of an interesting premise. A sick gangster makes friends with a waitress. Of course there is a lot more to it than that. The unknown cast makes the most of whats here. I was pulled into the story. The waitress wants to be a journalist and has a dope dealer for a boyfriend. Everyone has connections to the mob and most of them have no clue about the others. A lot of the shots were done out in the park or outside a restaurant and that in itself was kinda cool and interesting. Everyone needs to get out more, even dope dealers and mafia hit men...ya know. This film is very low budget but it really doesn't take a lot of money to make a good movie. Just leave out the car crashes, computer animation/scenery, and the big explosions and a good film can be made cheap. For decades movies were made the way this one was...with a story, actors, a smart director and lights. Its not a bad system IMO

Crosshairs (2013)
intense, intense, intense, 6 March 2017
9/10

this movie is not for fans of John Wick or Chuck Norris. There are not big explosions, long drawn violent scenes, and little appeal to thirteen year old kids. This is about intense casting, intense acting, intense directing, intense scripting, and intense viewing. If I was to compare it to something more recent that would probably be the move the ACCountant...though this is really better in most ways though I liked the Affleck film. The Hit-man Jack has his serene murder for hire life terribly complicated by a bad knee, bad girls, bad porn stars, and bad characters trying to make him an offer he literally can't refuse.

This film is incredibly well cast. Tom Seismore gives a great performance as a high class pimp and the Porn director steals a huge chunck of the film and actually has the best role. This movie is all about horribly flawed people going about life in horribly destructive ways and generally making the world a much more horrible place to live in. There are no good guys anywhere in this movie. They are all "characters" that could best be described as lost souls.

The fact that you will sympathize with Jack and even feel a bit akin to the "Sausage King" is a superb example of masterful film making and manipulation of the audience. This move is real, there are no heros, no Iron Men, no Caped Crusader, no Scarlett Johanssen beating hell of dozens of massive opponents armed wit machine guns. In fact there is no one in tights during the entire movie.

Parts of the move are vague and leave you guessing a bit. You may think there are plot holes where its really simply leaving something for you think about. The people who make this film are artists. This movie was made for a million bucks and good lord, was the money well spent. I would rather go to the dentist that watch putrid horse poop like Iron man vs Captain America. I could easily watch this again trying to pick up on all the many nuances I might have missed the first time. If you are a serious film fan or even a film maker, you should see this movie. Yeah, I was darn impressed. It deserves a 9.5. The people who didn't like this movie are likely the ones eagerly waiting on the next Rambo

Jack and Jill (2011/I)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Thank You Adam for the great laughs, 30 August 2016
9/10

OK, I totally loved this movie. I laughed hard and often, in fact I laughed more than probably any other Sandler flick except maybe the Waterboy. I know Sandlers humor has gone a bit out of style because there aren't dirty jokes, lots of cursing,lots of people getting drunk or stoned which is what people like now. It not that kind of humor, its pretty family friendly but man its hilarious to me...Adam is the latest Mel Brooks. I didn't actually think he was that funny as Jill but still there were so many funny moments. Adam will have to add dirty jokes, nudity, and lots of f bombs before he will get his audience back. Today's audience just can't get the old school slapstick humor anymore I guess. I feel lucky that I can get it and man I had fun. I needed the laughs too. Sandler is a comic genius, Im thankful we have him.

37 out of 71 people found the following review useful:
fascinating, action with a story, 21 August 2016
8/10

Mel Gibson is great in this movie. He portrays a grizzled ex con who is hell bent on helping his wayward teenage daughter who is up to the seat of her hotpants in hot water. Yeah, there is a ton of action, and very well staged action, but there is also a very powerful underlying narrative about the power of love. Gibson pretty much nails the role and you can't help but admire the character, a very flawed but helplessly hopeful individual who carries a certain nobility despite it all. He is a world weary survivor who has seen it all and finally realizes that the only things that really matter are self value and the people you should be close to. The daughter is just as flawed and beat up as the dad but together they form a bond that transcends all, even the grave. This is first and foremost a blast away action thriller but one theme runs through all the pyrotechnics...we all got to help each other and finally it will all start making sense and maybe even end well for a change. Wow, how the heck did Mel get those guns...Arnold and Stallone must be bright freaking green with envy. Man, those things look computer enhanced but I bet they aren't. Impressive!!!!

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A great classic, just fabulous, 26 July 2016
10/10

Still engaging today IMO. I watched this recently and was very entertained despite the fact there are virtually no effects, very little computer input(ha). I'm pretty sure the budget would not buy much in Hollywood today (lunch maybe). Films can be so good with just charismatic actors, good lighting, and a clever script. One could probably make thirty film like this with the money they blow on computer graphics along nowadays. Heck, you don't even need color!!! Oh well, we have these old classics to enjoy and still we can go off to the movies and watch them blow stuff up...its a win win. Just a Gigolo, what fun.

17 out of 34 people found the following review useful:
Definitely entertaining, a fine new Trek, 25 July 2016
9/10

I am giving this a nine because its probably one of the very few movies I have watched lately that I would like to see again. As new trek movies go this one is certainly a highlight. All the effects, sets, etc are absolutely first rate. The story is better than most, and it helps that it sets a very fast pace. There is always something interesting happening in this film. I cant see how any Star Trek fan would be disappointed. My only gripe is the new Spock. Somehow, he doesn't seem quite right but after Nimoy's epic portrayals Im not sure anyone who follows will fit the bill. However, I really like the Tuvok character from the Voyager series. Actually I would prefer him right now. Anyhow, its all minor whining on my part. Its a truly great movie, a real epic and the alien girl was a super nice addition. Uhura was great too, she really got to kick some butt. Pine makes an awesome kirk too...he really has claimed the role as his. Its a must see....much much better than all that pretentious "trust the force" drudge people love so dearly. Live Long and Prosper fools!!!

The Choice (2016/I)
6 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
where were the super heroes and explosions, 24 June 2016
8/10

A very romantic and enjoyable film. A lot of people will hate it because of the lack of computer graphics. For my money the leading lady in a bikini is a testament again to the fact God creates much greater beauty than anything man can dream up. I have enjoyed most of the Sparks films. They are laid back and stress love. What people don't like about that is hard to figure. Maybe if the neighbor had been wonder woman or transgender or whatever it would have gotten rave reviews. I watched it with my daughter and I almost teared up. The scenery is grand too, makes you want to move south (dont forget the heat tho, its brutal) OK, I liked it and you will too if you have a heart inside your chest or you are a guy who digs extremely pretty females Like I do.


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