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Fashion Love (1984)
Forgotten Italian time capsule porn
I found this movie in a 50 cent bin at a goodwill. Any time I see a big clamshell VHS box for 50 cents it's an automatic pickup for me. The cover and title are definitely misleading. The cover has Marina the main character on the box with DJ headphones on and hearts surrounding her. Perhaps an Italian sex comedy? Well I was right about the sex part.
Turns out it's an old Italian porno. I can't really say it's even a good one. Two girls in a hostel get drugged tea given to them and pass out in their bedroom. What does the tea serving waitress do? Telephone a buddy over and they both have at them. Doorbell ringing constantly interrupts them as new guests arrive and partake in the action. It's an odd fetish I'll tell you that.
Eventually the girls wake up, find a mystery pistol in the drawer and take revenge! 2 guys look on in shock at witnessing the Spanish fly adding waitress gunned down. Do the girls waste the only witnesses? Nope. They blow them of course. Only in Italy I guess.
The entire tape I saw was in Italian so I have no idea what anyone was saying, of course there isn't much dialogue. No one is particularly outstanding looking, lots of hair everywhere.
Motel Sweets (1987)
Between the devil and Mr weasel
I found this movie without a box in a 50 cent bin. It turned out to be an old porno but I let it play out anyway.
It actually has a lot in common with those late 70s early 80s sex comedies. It's no porkys for sure but they do a lot with the what I'm sure was absolutely no budget at all. It's shot like an 80s sitcom. Not much style to it but competent. It has a lot of character development I'll give it that. Al, Sam, daisy, the cranky old couple...how many pornos have remember-able characters? It's not laugh out loud hilarious more like smile and a nod or corny jokes, but it was enjoyable. The running gag with the Spanish maid gets old quick.
The 2 best scenes are when the devil shows up and the search for Mr weasel, a handpuppeted weirdo.
The Suckling (1990)
A not too bad little early 90's exploitation flick!
A 2?! Oh c'mon. It deserves at least a 6 for the baby effects alone, which are pretty good for such a low budget film. First of all disregard the box comments that seem to compare it to die hard or alien because its the furthest thing from that. Look at more as an above average Troma film, which is probably who should have released it in the first place. My quest to see the movie began at a flea market in Wallingford , CT where I saw a guy selling the suckling press kit with a badass "only could have been made in the 90's" T-shirt. It looked Like an all yellow local metal band shirt. I laughed and had a look and new I had to see the film. The press kit came with a small poster on which someone had written a note in marker on the back. It says" Mike, See you Friday aug. 23 midnight bleecker theatre if possible. If not there'll be bigger + better movies next. Pete." I don't know if the suckling was a CT made film, since the company who made it, JER Pictures has a Port Chester , NY address. Either way its pretty funny, or appropriate depending on your thoughts, that the poster hangs directly above my toilet. I say we need to bring on The Suckling 2: Keep on Suckling.