Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
Not nearly as good as trailer hyped it up to be
So lets just get this part out of the way; Cloverfield is most likely the most well advertised movie I've seen in the past few years. The teaser trailer shows two awesome clips; a distant building being blown apart accompanied by large chunks flying past the camerman, and the Statue of Liberty's head tumbling through the streets of manhattan. Now for those of you who viewed the trailer, you'll notice that in between these scenes, you see about 4 ridiculously quickly cut shots of people running down a stairwell. Guess What? That wasn't done just for the trailer... its actually one continuous scene in the movie.
Thats just one example of the irritating Blair Project-Rip Off of a movie that Cloverfield is. While the 1999 horror movie used the first person camera perspective as a way to trick the viewers to thinking that the movie was an actual documentary, Cloverfield uses this to make sure the audience gets the blurriest, and quickest shots possible of the limited amount of special effects in the movie. And as if that wasn't irritating enough, the camera man is retarded. I could most likely tape my digital camera to the top of my dogs ass while forcing him to run on my treadmill for a piece of steak and STILL get a better shot than the moron who recorded this movie. *end rant* Okay, with that out of the way lets focus on the movie's plot.
Oh wait... there isn't one. You see the other reason why I hate this movie so much is the fact that it scored a 7.8 on this website while Godzilla scored a 4.6. Because that makes a lot of sense. Okay sure, Godzilla may have had its issues with a couple of actors, and maybe all of the fans complained about him not breathing fire, but at least it had a plot.
Cloverfield opens up with a good 25 minutes of absolute irrelevant crap. The writers attempted to have some character development, but it never really works, or for that case matters in a movie with such ordinary boring characters. Have you ever gone over a girlfriend or boyfriends house and got stuck watching one of their god awful home movies? Well thats what this is... a really bad, boring home movie.
As far as the special effects go, they work... although theirs never anything really special about them, as most of the time the creature is covered in smoke, or so dark that you can't even see any texture on its skin etc. They aren't bad but theirs so few of them due to the ridiculous budget constraints, and that just sucks in a movie with such an epic scope.
The best part about this movie was its 85 minute run time... because when it ended, I got the hell out of that theater.
For the love of god, save your money 3/10
There's no adjective in the English dictionary that can describe how bad this movie is
Its been about 18 hours since I've seen the 2007 remake of Halloween and I'm still crying in the corner about how I will never get those two hours of my life back. This is honestly the most absolutely ridiculously pointless gigantic piece of utter garbage that I have ever seen in my life. Lets first review the plot... As a small boy, Michael Myers grows up in a white trash family so he decides to murder everyone. 25 years later (after being in prison) he manages to break out of his chain reinforced straight jacket (and handcuffs) and kills everyone. Then he goes outside and kills everyone. Then he finds some horny teenagers and kills everyone. Then he gets stabbed and shot but no.... he still kills everyone. In conclusion the plot of this movie is that Michael Myers kills everyone. Now lets move on to the director... Rob Zombie apparently thinks that watching people die extremely gruesome and brutal deaths is fun! Like for instance watching a teenager be continuously beaten by a stick for about 3 minutes is obviously entertaining... and then watching him beg for his life and cry is obviously cool! (before being hit another 12 times until his death)Then we get to watch people's throats getting slit, girls being stabbed to death, necks being broken and random people being beaten to death. Now this may not seem that unusual for a horror movie but its how brutal the deaths are that make this movie so bad. There's no suspense... and there's never one point where you think "hey this person might live" because you know that everyone will just die. I'm at a loss of words.... dear god I'd rather watch paint dry than watch this movie. If I just dropped my $8.25 on the ground and walked away than THAT would have been a better use of my money. In all seriousness... this movie is not only pointless but its sick. If you can honestly say that you enjoy watching people die than I would highly recommend seeking therapy immediately.