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Patriots Day (2016)
Apple pie, with extra cheese !
How the hell did this get a seven point five stars? God this film was cringe worthy. Wahlberg plays an annoying (Very annoying), childish, gobby cop, who mysteriously is looked up to by his superiors. The film was trying to convey the shock and emotion of it all and failed miserably, it just came across as cheesy and self-serving. Don't watch this rubbish, instead just imagine a scene, the aftermath of a devastating terrorist bomb attack. Now add a massive Stars and Stripes flag fluttering and filling most of the shot. Then in the foreground, a Boston cop in full uniform, sobbing, one hand on his heart and the other saluting ... then picture this for 2 hours, because that basically sums up this entire film.
Under the Skin (2013)
108 minutes of film ,10 minutes of content! but hey Scarlett Johansson gets naked. Its seems they spent 99% of the budget on getting Scarlett Johansson and couldn't afford a script, a director, producer or any other actors. The locations were depressing and you had to guess the story as film didn't convey anything to the viewer. At one point I was expecting leotard wearing mimes to dance onto the set. There are about two or three nice landscape shots , lots of silent staring and many lessons on why you should never visit Scotland , but that's about it. The only people who would recommend this film would be the pretentious types that visit art galleries to stare at stacks of bricks and those that really REALLY like Scarlett Johansson.
A pile of trolls feces
Oh my god this is more than awful. I think every member of the crew and their families have left reviews on this site, that can be the only explanation for why this rubbish has been so highly rated ! I liked Cloverfield and all the Paranormal activities, so its not the way it was filmed. The dialogue sounds like they are making it up as they go(badly),either that or it doesn't translate well.The voice actors used for dubbing into English are pretty damn bad also and I'm guessing they couldn't get work anywhere else, anywhere! So in short , lame story , bad camera work , amateur acting and rubbish effects. I'd recommend sticking pins in your eyes or watching paint dry instead.
Falling Skies (2011)
Sentimental garbage :(
How can you mess up a story about an Alien invasion ? surly it would be heart pounding, action packed and an adrenalin laden adventure? A mad scramble for survival against overwhelming odds. Intelligent, cunning aliens hell bent on eradicating all humans ? with superior technology and firepower. NOPE !
what do we have then?
1.Rubbish,unarmed,undressed and badly thought out aliens. 2.Make it all about the "children" and throw in enough slushy sentimental huggy crap,that would make a horse choke. 3.Add a huge dose of God into the mix ?!"didn't stop the invasion though did he ? ... maybe the aliens prayed harder?." 4.Add liberal bleeding heart moralising to get in the way of fighting the aliens. 5. A story that is really boring as well. 6. No really likable characters.
WELL DONE! you ruined it.
The Book of Eli (2010)
Religious/Global Warming indoctrination video (OBEY)
It started off with such promise, the fight scenes were excellent .... But then the horrible truth dawned on us that the book was the Bible , bearing in mind that the war which destroyed the world was a religious one ! After this point the Movie began to get more and more far fetched and funny "30 years to get to the Midwest ?" then when we realised he was blind ! we couldn't help but laugh :) this how ever explained some things like backing into the shadows to even the fight (not sure how he knew there were shadows there though.) Killing a Cat with a bow and arrow while lying down and erm BLIND ! Shot in the stomach with a 9mm hand gun,then back pack on and off down the road we go?! The end creased us up too, after dictating the entire bible, they reprinted and bound it and placed it in between the Quran and the Torah ! I think the irony was lost on them.