Junk like this plays better on some YouTube channel.
There is no tension since we don't care about any of the characters. The actors gave it their best shot, but the script just didn't live up to its promise. As a result there are no cathartic moments of any kind. The story is also missing its thematic element. A raison d'être if you will. It winds up being just a long rambling mess of tired, uninteresting expository dialogue that ends abruptly for no apparent reason. One thing this filmmaker should learn is to never steer the narrative through dialogue. It's not a radio program - it's visual. Ultimately this is a very dull, nihilistic version of 'Airport'. Too bad, if the idea was executed by someone with talent it could have made a very entertaining picture.
M-"Want to have some sex?" F-"Do I want to have some sex?" M-"Yeah." F-"I don't know."
I can't even go on.
Pure garbage. I understand how these things get made, but how do they get released?
NOTE TO IMDb - Dialogue is spelled D-I-A-L-O-G-U-E.
NOTE TO VIEWERS - A Thriller is a picture that features suspense. Horror is a thriller with a supernatural twist. This is a Thriller.
Total trashology. Don't waste any more of your time even reading this review.
I can't comment on this particular film. There are absolutely no redeeming points. Everything was so bad I'm sure even the craft service was awful. The story is all over the map. Despite what the director may think, his presence was completely absent. Amateur acting. None of the special effects or VFX make any sense, let alone look realistic. They even had the audacity to blatantly steal a character from the original Wolfenstein game.
Note to the production: You didn't just make a bad film. You just stole money from innocent people.
There is no dramatic structure at all to this film. The filmmakers (if you can call them that) sprinkle in some actors running through the woods screaming, running into houses screaming, and driving their cars screaming. Yes this movie has a lot of sporadic yelling, dissolves, freeze frames, and I do not have a clue what it is all about.
It's got some really weird sound design, I think the sound editor fell in love with a 'pitch control' plug in.
I usually don't care for films that drive the narrative through dialogue, but the complete lack of narrative structure here is ridiculous. Visually it's a complete mess. The films of Stan Brackhage and Matthew Barney are more comprehensible. It's just a film with a bunch of actors covered in fake blood walking around the woods or bound to a tree, and did I say lots and lots of freeze frames, dissolves and the same shot of the sun hidden partially by trees? They also slapped in a disembodied voice saying 'Carl' over and over for good measure.
In stead of Horror it should have been categorized as just plain Horrible.
First I'd like to point out one of the most stupid, careless methods in visually identifying a plot point I've ever witnessed. After being served by a waitress, a customer runs out of a restaurant to her car and looks at a picture of her sister in order to verify that the WAITRESS IS IN FACT HER SISTER!!!! What the hell? Does this character suffer from some mental disorder that she forgets what her sister looked like? If she did it's never addressed again.
There is no action in this film. It opens promisingly enough, but soon after it just turns into a boring talk fest that has nothing interesting to say.
The acting has the same consistency of cardboard. The director must have spent all of his time at the craft service table because the shot structure is very unimaginative. It's just MED, CU - MED, CU over and over. There are no thrills or suspense. Every moment is telegraphed by one of those Star Trek transporters. Then there's a scene with a sheriff who appears to have been kidnapped from Knotts Berry Farm. I couldn't believe that he had a small dime store tin badge on his vest, which looked like it was cannibalized from some crew members three piece suit.
I'm convinced this picture was edited by a Cuisinart. I'm sure they just plopped all those MEDs and C.U.'s into the receptacle and flipped that switch to high. Pushing buttons on a computer does not make one an editor.
Most of the sets look alike. Nothing appears authentic. I think the filmmakers must have used their bedroom for a all purpose location. Come on guys at least make a little attempt of an effort! That's it this film is too crappy to waste any more time on
You have a few precious minutes in life. Don't waste any on this stupid junk.
I didn't care about any of these characters. The universe in which they live is constantly changing. It's like the director was making soup by throwing into a chicken broth, an apple, an onion, toothpaste, anti-freeze, and an old smelly sneaker. Come on guys! Think about what you're doing. You just can't take Mad Max, Terminator, Snatch, Star Wars, (Danny Trajo's lines are written as if he were some kind of Ninja Yoda) and Dawn of the Dead, jumble it all up and think you've got something remotely entertaining. This is a complete mess! It reeks of sneaker- toothpaste soup for crying out loud!
Why is the blood pink? The creatures look like really bad claymation. We have no idea what is anyone's goal. Most of all there is no theme.
All I have to say is YUCK!
Here's a case where you have an interesting premise, great talent, good crew BUT A REALLY BAD DIRECTOR! This guy hasn't a clue what he's doing. There was absolutely no thought that went into this picture. It's so bland and boring, even aggravatingly stupid at times. Why do you get all of this great talent together just to say a few meaningless lines of dialogue? And the ending is a total bummer. Resolve the story. Too many neophyte directors leave open ended stories for no reason. I suppose they want to give the impression that there is more in the subtext. Fact is those opened ended stories that work actually tie up all the loose ends in their own way. I blame the director for the script which never realizes it's full potential. Maybe English could be a stumbling block for him because his original film '13 Tzameti ' won several awards.
Looks like Coppola's proclamation of modern technology leading to the democratization of the motion picture business will only lead to its untimely death. Making a compelling film takes a lot of hard work which obviously didn't go into this production. People just mill about the frame rambling meaningless dialogue. There are no moments of fear, tranquility, jovial humor, black humor, tension (and believe me there should have been a lot of moments of EXTREME tension) or anything really. It just sits there like a lump of crap. Just one long spewing of sterile narrative when if executed properly, this story could have had a lot of spunk. It's a very sexy story with a myriad of possibilities, but no one was home to get the FedEx. The director phoned it in on this one folks. Avoid like the plague.
Oh yeah, there are no commuter trains that run between New York City and Ohio.
Chock full of stars, this 'thing' never gets off the ground. The erratic, haphazard cutting of the narrative makes this a complete mess to watch. The values are all over the place. I figure they had a pretty flat movie when they finished cutting it and figured 'what the hell?' might as well chop it up using a lot of elliptical cuts. The problem is that there has to be a reason - not just for the hell of it. Seeing the same scenes over and over again is just boring.
It looked like it was shot on video. Really bad, horrible lighting; non existent production design; and no sound design. This needed a good music bed pretty badly! The performances were hampered by the lack of it. It's a shame since there is such a waste of fine talent.
The story could have gone through a few more rewrites. A little too much needless exposition in the dialogue. If you go out and sit next to people you learn how they talk so you don't write lines like "I've made mistakes and I've paid for them." Oi vey! It's like someone coming over to your house and greets you by saying "I'm going to shake your hand and say hello."
I could be wrong about this movie since it made a whopping $2,000 at the box office.
An hour and a half of pointless yammering. The writers ripped off Blair Witch but didn't have any idea of how plot points work or how to create any kind of atmosphere. The script is so poorly written and phlegmatically directed I wonder if the director ever made it past the craft service table. The lame excuse of being low budget is wearing out its welcome. If you don't have enough money to film what you're written - don't. The film isn't good, it's really terrible and to present this to an audience as entertainment is criminal. This is not a case of subjectivity. Some films are just terrible. Hardly any of the people in the making of this presentation knew what they were doing. Learn your damn craft or find something else to do!
It's so boring! This film is perfect for those who suffer from Attention Surplus Disorder. I was expecting bad, but this went light years beyond awful.
Plus you never get a nice view of the tundra!
I can't honestly recommend this film as it's not scary and quite boring. To have characters talk so much about nothing or mapping out the narrative is ludicrous and wears on an audience.
How do these films ever get released? It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.
It's a movie about a guy who kills three people. We don't know who he is other than he's standing in for another guy who's hurt. That's it. Boring. You might say it's a character study on the criminal element. Okay. All the characters are very two dimensional. So you wind up with a two dimensional character study. I really had to struggle to finish this. Painful to watch. I don't have the foggiest idea why they continued to play news bites of the financial crisis. Well actually I do, they were being pretentious. They succeeded at that, but failed at everything else.
It's just a bunch of criminals talking. Director should find another line of work or at least read Aristotle's Poetics.
Plus half of the movie is zooming in and out of Google Earth.
All of the people involved with making this picture should consider another line of work.
First for a comedy the camera is way too close and many times the geography is all out of whack. It has that poorly lit video sheen. Appears to have been shot at 29.97.
The actors give it their best but the script is such a ludicrous and absurd mess they can not be saved. Plus the dialogue feels lifted right out of the world's worst film school short. There is no drama or comedy. Everything becomes one unfocused blob. It appears they may have shot the first draft of the script.
Direction was non existent(maybe spent way too much time at the craft service table) and I've seen monkeys edit better motion pictures, but considering the footage may not be the editor's fault.
The best thing about this was the subtitles and goofed on this film. At times realizing the picture was so awful they just placed gibberish in place of the dialogue.
A total waste of a germ of what may have been a good idea and a very, very talented cast.
It's so sad...
99% of todays programming is complete garbage which is why the 18 to 50 year old male demographic has left television.
Episodes like this is a good start in bringing them back.