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The Night Before Halloween (2016)
Stupid poorly executed nonsense
I don't know if executives bother to read scripts anymore. How could this film have gotten green-lit? The characters are half dimensional, the story doesn't make any sense, everything happens very conveniently for the plot to unfold in a tired, uninteresting, and convoluted way. No tension, no suspense, nothing of real interest at all. Lots of misplaced jump scares, yet the film has absolutely no atmosphere which is essential for a horror film. I give credit to the actors for doing what they could with an exceptionally poorly executed, amateurish script. The dialogue is ridiculously bad. The worst part is that there is no catalyst to invoke the villain, who as it turns out is not very scary at all. SyFy has got to pick up their game. This is garbage.
Junk like this plays better on some YouTube channel.
A Movie in Search of a Story
Here is a shining example as to why you don't shoot a picture until the script has been carefully and completely worked out. The lame excuse of using ambiguity as a plot device is just a testament to the fact that many 'filmmakers' still have no idea what makes up good entertainment. For the record the actual story begins and hour and fifteen minutes into the film and cuts off just when we should be breaking into act two. Plus the narrative has a huge glaring error.
There is no tension since we don't care about any of the characters. The actors gave it their best shot, but the script just didn't live up to its promise. As a result there are no cathartic moments of any kind. The story is also missing its thematic element. A raison d'être if you will. It winds up being just a long rambling mess of tired, uninteresting expository dialogue that ends abruptly for no apparent reason. One thing this filmmaker should learn is to never steer the narrative through dialogue. It's not a radio program - it's visual. Ultimately this is a very dull, nihilistic version of 'Airport'. Too bad, if the idea was executed by someone with talent it could have made a very entertaining picture.
Werewolf: The Devil's Hound (2007)
Horrible, Horrible, Horrible, Horrible, Horrible, Horrible, Horrible, Horrible.
I think the producers of this film handed an old mini DV camera to two schizophrenics and told them to go make a movie. The film is shot almost all in close up so the audience has no idea where they are or what's going on. The frame is plagued by interlacing issues, the cinematography is amateurish, and a complete lack of filmmaking knowledge. The story is boring and uninspired.
M-"Want to have some sex?" F-"Do I want to have some sex?" M-"Yeah." F-"I don't know."
I can't even go on.
Pure garbage. I understand how these things get made, but how do they get released?
The Leisure Class (2015)
The Comedy of Sadness
Here's a rom-com that's both short on romance and comedy. It does, however, indulge in a lot of blah-blah-blah. Dialogue for the sake of dialogue. Nothing visual. In order for the audience to tune into a character, there needs to be visual cues as to the particular characters inner persona. Most of the film is shot Med Close which is a very big mistake when you shoot a comedy, dark or whatever. The actors gave it their all, and that Bridget Regan is sure easy on the eyes. At the core was a complete lack of understanding of the filmmaking process. A filmmaker must have a rudimentary understanding of what moves an audience in emotional directions. This was just a bunch of drivel on a page that was shot on film. Why film? Haven't a clue. This could have been shot on an iPhone for all the audience gets out of it. Didn't anyone read the script while in pre-pro or is that even done anymore? This truly is a comedy of sadness.
I can't believe anyone put money into this monstrosity. From the inane dialogue to the inept direction this picture misfires on every cylinder. The entire film is shot in close-up, so instead of creating a claustrophobic atmosphere it causes confusion. Plus the constant jump cuts don't help. Every actor yells all of their lines and constantly throw props all over the set for some reason. What little drama there is, has no peaks and valleys. Either zero or a hundred. I don't even get a semblance of a story. Just a lot of half-ass, strung together dialogue with nowhere to go. No characters. Not interesting. This is awful. At least the grade Z films of yester-year weren't pretentious. Someone should keep the camera far away from this guy. HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING!
A terrible adaptation of Heinleine's "All You Zombies"
This picture is on par with the high school student versions uploaded to YouTube. In order to adapt Heinlein's "All You Zombies' to the silver screen you have to take into consideration the criteria of a good motion picture. What a writer can successfully accomplish in prose will not translate visually very well unless it is altered for the film medium. The first excruciating fifty minutes of the film clumsily sets up the plot in the worst way possible. The liberties make the narrative lugubrious and boring. This story needs a very big event to support Heinlein's terrific story. The filmmakers shot the pages of the short story and in the process removed all the wonderful nuances that made Heinlein's original story so interesting. For example the original story illustrates how a person can appear to have ulterior motives when in reality they are helping that person. What the filmmakers wound up with is a collection of boring scenes of characters talking at each other with a bumbling narration thrown over it for 'good' measure. The last half of the picture is a convoluted mess that tries to out clever the original story's narrative, but just falls flat and is very unsatisfying. Heinlein's story is about self realization and transcending social prejudices. There's a good reason this picture didn't have a decent release. It is a dull, unimaginative, nihilistic mess that destroys the short story's original thematic elements.
You're Next (2011)
Tight Little Thriller!
I found this to be a very enjoyable film. After being jaded by the dreck that has been released lately, this was a ray of light. Adam Wingard has talent and has study his craft well. The picture is a little rough around the edges, but in the same manner as Sugarland Express or Killer's Kiss. The script could have been tuned just a touch more and there are a couple of repeated scenes that come out of nowhere and threw me out of the story. They were so disturbing I thought there was something wrong with the print. The characters are well defined and very strong. The dialogue is believable and the story is logical and thrilling. This is a great little thriller that no one should miss. Kudo's to everyone involved you did a really terrific job!
NOTE TO IMDb - Dialogue is spelled D-I-A-L-O-G-U-E.
NOTE TO VIEWERS - A Thriller is a picture that features suspense. Horror is a thriller with a supernatural twist. This is a Thriller.
What a shame. To actually have the gall to present this 'film' to a viewing audience. The democratization of filmmaking is just presenting more and more people that have absolutely no idea to the proper structure of narrative storytelling. This film looks like the editor plopped all the footage into a blender and hit 'high'. Nothing makes sense and I didn't have a clue as to who anyone was or what was going on. I realize that filmmakers like to be innovative and that to me is very welcomed as a viewer, but the narrative structure has to be coherent. If you don't have decent structure and very well defined characters all you'll have is, well this 'movie'. It's very clear from this presentation that the director, writer, cinematographer, and editor had no idea what they were doing. Projects like this are killing horror films.
Total trashology. Don't waste any more of your time even reading this review.
Watching paint dry is more entertaining
This is among the worst films I've ever seen. What gets me is how crappy films like this even get released. I can understand how a 'director' or any other crew member can bluff his way into a job on a movie, but after it's made how does a releasing company have the ethics to release it? This is a case of theft. They are stealing our money by providing 'entertainment' of the shoddiest kind. Currently this is getting so ridiculous that more and more films are being made and released far below the sub par in standards set by Ed Wood. At one time a journey man filmmaker had to know something to the basic principles of entertainment. Now with the democratization of filmmaking due to the lower costs and advancement of technology we have lowered the bar so low that these pictures are equal to what an eight year old makes in his back yard on a Saturday afternoon.
I can't comment on this particular film. There are absolutely no redeeming points. Everything was so bad I'm sure even the craft service was awful. The story is all over the map. Despite what the director may think, his presence was completely absent. Amateur acting. None of the special effects or VFX make any sense, let alone look realistic. They even had the audacity to blatantly steal a character from the original Wolfenstein game.
Note to the production: You didn't just make a bad film. You just stole money from innocent people.
The Taking (2013)
If you enjoy watching a lot of shots of the sun partially hidden by trees over and over this movie is for you! Lots and lots of the same shot repeating over and over.
There is no dramatic structure at all to this film. The filmmakers (if you can call them that) sprinkle in some actors running through the woods screaming, running into houses screaming, and driving their cars screaming. Yes this movie has a lot of sporadic yelling, dissolves, freeze frames, and I do not have a clue what it is all about.
It's got some really weird sound design, I think the sound editor fell in love with a 'pitch control' plug in.
I usually don't care for films that drive the narrative through dialogue, but the complete lack of narrative structure here is ridiculous. Visually it's a complete mess. The films of Stan Brackhage and Matthew Barney are more comprehensible. It's just a film with a bunch of actors covered in fake blood walking around the woods or bound to a tree, and did I say lots and lots of freeze frames, dissolves and the same shot of the sun hidden partially by trees? They also slapped in a disembodied voice saying 'Carl' over and over for good measure.
In stead of Horror it should have been categorized as just plain Horrible.