Reviews written by registered user
Dr_Herbert_West

3 reviews in total 
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12 out of 24 people found the following review useful:
God Himself is either embarrassed for them or laughing hysterically., 3 March 2006
1/10

Time Changer is easily one of the BEST films to watch while stoned. Every line of dialogue is a giggle.

Even a Christian audience knows the difference between good film-making and bad film-making, although they may be reluctant, from fear of God, to admit that Joe Esterhas has more talent in his pinky toenail than Rich Christiano has in his entire body (and eternal soul, apparently.)

Religiousity aside, this film is bad. Outrageously bad. From stilted, obviously scripted dialogue that revels in its blatant prosaic lecturing and needless, pointless expository preaching to the embarrassingly grade-school Nativity play acting chops of D. David Morin. Morin himself is easily so pathetic in his sincere and unfettered effort to please his Lord that you don't know whether to sympathize with him as a performer or a martyr.

Morin's character comes from a Christian storybook days-of-yore time period where the Bible is still the No. 1 Bestseller. With the aid of a time machine and some computer graphics a 1997 iMac farted out over a night, Morin finds himself in the 20th century, which is much more different than he could have naively imagined.

Besides that, there's no real plot to speak of. Just a series of encounters with the sins of the everyday man, things WE accept as normal, but he sees as frighteningly objectionable, so much so that he preaches, lectures, scolds, and gasps his way through a ninety minute fish- out-of-water quagmire.

One memorable scene involves his conversation with fellow Christian stereotype Jennifer O'Niell. Wooden acting abounds as they exchange self-righteous speeches about how violent videogames and sexual immorality are threatening to destroy the fabric of all George W. Bush holds dear. It's just as much fun as Sunday School, only more ostentatious and with fewer cookies to drool over.

Rich Christiano and D. David Morin are clear examples of a theological brain teaser: If God exists and He wants His Gospel spread, why couldn't He bless His film-making disciples with a grain of talent to split between them?

15 out of 17 people found the following review useful:
Brilliant and terrible at the same time, 8 January 2006

That's what it was supposed to be and that's what it succeeds at. As a die hard fan of B- movies from the 50s, I felt like I could have made this movie, but I wouldn't have done as good a job. With a microbudget and a script written in five days, the filmmakers had all the right ingredients for a delightful send up.

The cheesy dialogue and deliberately awkward moments are true gems and it is obvious that this is a real labor of love, a collaborative effort between a group of friends who just wanted to make something fun.

No pretensions, no car chases, no show-offy special effects, no Hollywood celebrities chewing the scenery and trying to make themselves look sexy all the time. This film is an example of the kind of movies made by fans for the fans, with no kowtowing to political correctness, celebrity egos, or the lowest common denominator.

If you love Ed Wood, Robot Monster and Catwomen on the Moon, this film will split your sides with laughter. If not, I implore you to cast aside Lindsey Lohan and Ashton Kutcher for an afternoon and try something new.

King Kong (2005)
4 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Somebody Please Stop Peter Jackson, 4 January 2006
3/10

In Hollywood, one of the most popular mantras for Event Movies is "Bigger is better". Meaning if the movie is unsuccessful, you didn't spend enough money and there weren't enough car chases or exploding buildings.

KING KONG is an example of how a great filmmaker like Peter Jackson, who got his start with microbudget zombie movies, hit a home run with the Lord of the Rings, won his Oscar, and was given a project where NO ONE DARED TO HOLD HIM BACK.

At three hours, KK is about an hour too long, but not with sappy romantic subplots or actual character development. As difficult as it is for Hollywood to believe, the special effects and action sequences were simply too much. The first forty five minutes are a real tour de force, but as soon as the crew arrives at Skull Island, it's twenty minutes on end of CGI dinosaurs, a CGI Kong, and a green screened Naomi Watts so long and so loud the audience gets nosebleeds.

Certain scenes like the giant insects and the big slugs are in there for no reason at all. They serve no purpose other than to gross us out for ten minutes so parents can wonder if they made a mistake by bringing their 5 year olds to see this movie. And there are endless lingering close-ups of Watt's Nicole Kidman wannabe "I'm so stunned, my eyes and mouth are always open" expression while looking up.

KK is Hollywood's version of subtlety, a movie that attempts to achieve tenderness by being loud and thunderous in all visual and auditory ways. Jackson attempts to create a visual roller-coaster of a movie, but, after the first two straight hours of mind-numbing excess, we are left thinking, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"