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Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)
The film opens with a 10 minute slow motion time waster, to be followed by a 7 minute re-introduction, and 80 minutes of painful action scenes. I kept waiting for a plot, but one never came. Not even 3D could save this movie. I gave it 2 stars because it was 3D. If it was in 2D I would have ranked it at 0.
I like action movies, but I really didn't care about the characters. I even wanted the little girl to die, because I knew later on it would just slow them down and try to add emotion to it.
They have thousands of clones and they just send 6 people. There's a giant explosion at the feet of the 2 female leads which amazingly only blasts in one direction. The cheesy red queen video cuts made me laugh every time. They "have" to go through all these simulated cities (so technically not global) and then later they amazingly find all these shortcuts. I kept screaming "Why don't they just take the submarines up?!" in my head, OF COURSE the red queen is going to cut power "remotely" LOL. Magically plucking off a robotic parasite didn't occur to Alice earlier? It just comes off with a flick of the hand? Jill gets her memory back immediately? You didn't think about all the infected you released into that water and who knows what other Umbrella experiments?? But in the first movie you didn't want the virus to get out...?! Movie SUCKED!!! No plot, but I will say at least they recast Michelle Rodriguez as the bad ass evil chick.
Wait for it on DVD in Red Box because it reminds me of the movies that end up in the Red Box without a theatrical release.