Reviews written by registered user

Send an IMDb private message to this author or view their message board profile.

8 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

Kissed (1996)
2 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
A mediocre film veiled behind droning philosophy, 21 September 2008

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Personally, I didn't so much get worked up over this movie as I found it rather...mediocre. Many times I was bored and I found that Sandra's constant notions of "light, energy, etc." were forced and unoriginal. So she slept with corpses and experienced a euphoric awakening? Sorry, I just couldn't buy that. I understand the movie was trying to convey a message about transcendence and the similarities between life/death and love/hate (and yes, I understood the point of Matt's suicide and the many progressive layers of his obsession/love for her), but for me, that message just didn't come through well at all. In the end, it felt like it was all about her growing sexual attraction to death more so than anything else, culminating with her finally going all the way with her cadavers, droning on philosophically while she diddled away as though to curtain the fact that if she wasn't the kind of character she was, the interpretation of this movie would have been far less kinder. I think, had they made her character less of the "ethereal, mysterious outcast" type they so desperately tried to convey her as being, the subject matter wouldn't have been seen as deep and artsy but rather just a bland movie about necrophilia.

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Almost...but not really, 22 October 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I got to see this movie at Toronto's After Dark Film festival, filing into the screening with an open mind and heart for a good zombie movie after Toronto's Zombie Walk. Unfortunately, while the movie starts out well paced and interesting, it falls short of being something I want to see again. Now, perhaps this is due to the fact that Steve Miller has stated it is the first in a trilogy and I've simply just not seen enough to quell a few problems I had with this first installment, but I just don't think so.

On a blood/death scale, the movie is awesome. No shortage of gory, creative (read: watch for the fetus-chomp, yum!) death scenes and some good work on zombie makeup and special effects. The acting in most cases spans between pretty good and mediocre, which wasn't too bad to sit through at all. However, here's where the rest starts going wrong: The characters are utterly unmotivated. That is to say, that while they do create goals and a small side-story (come the end of the movie) regarding military zombie testing, the entire things feels wooden. The characters make decisions (such as heading for the school) that seem less motivated by their own interests and passions but rather just something that was written into the script to lead on to another scene. It feels less like a well-moving story and more like a few people "going through the motions" of a zombie movie. That is: Run. Hide. Kill/Get killed. Run to a new place. Rinse. Repeat. There seem to be virtually no secondary stories to what is ultimately a dash-and-kill zombie movie.

13 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
Thanks for BUTCHERING Spiderman!!!, 7 May 2007
1/10 If I had to talk about all the things wrong with this movie in-depth, I could probably go on for hours. Hours that would be better spent than the hours I wasted sitting at this cornball cry-fest. First thing's first: Where exactly has Spiderman's "Spider-sense" gone?

How does someone who can sense even the least amount of danger to himself (ie. getting hit by a car, etc.) not sense or see the spiraling meteor of fiery, gooey-black death falling 10 feet away from him? Oh yeah...he's too wrapped up in making googly weepy-eyes at Mary-Jane. That's another thing. This is in NO way a superhero movie. If you go into this expecting to be as blown away as you were during Spiderman I and II, allow me to pop that bubble. At most, amidst the random singing, dancing, weeping, angsting, and general "WAH" from Peter Parker, this comes off as a musical romance. A dramatic, musical romance. And here I thought I was sitting down to watch...oh, I don't know...Spiderman? All the awesome CG and special effects and acting of the last two movies seemed to have vanished into the night, as it seems the makers behind this little suck-fest hit bottom of the barrel and vomited out the worst possible script in superhero history. This was even more painful to sit through than The Hulk.

The villains are non-existent. Want to know why? Because there are NO villains in this movie. Only...*sniffle*...misunderstood victims :'( Aw...waaaaaah. Sandman and Hobgoblin both are but beaten-down shadows of themselves, and the only semi-saving grace in that particular department has to be Brock in his Carnage-suit, and even that was a far stretch.

As for Mary-Jane and Peter...never have I hated both characters more. Peter Parker is reduced to a whiny, emo-spouting gothchilde (seriously, he wears eye-liner at one point...EYELINER!) and Mary-Jane is sufficiently slutified, becoming a jealous, entitlement-obsessed ninth-grader, just enough to send Parker over the edge.

All in all, avoid at all costs unless you want this particular franchise ruined for you.

7 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
Utter garbage, 17 December 2006

I went into this movie with some fairly high expectations, considering the amount of hype it received and the effort that went into its marketing. For about 5 minutes, I thought it might just live up to that hype. Sadly, it degenerated into the worst piece of garbage that ever crawled its way past the MPAA rating board. How this sort of trash could have made its way into any format (let alone a theater release) escapes me. In a time where we can't watch a good horror movie with a few scenes of blood and gore because everything gets cut out and yet we can sit down and watch what must be the director and producer's racist fun-fest, we live in sad times indeed. A worst piece of trash couldn't have made its way into the public eye short of defecating on the screen. If I could, I would rate this movie less than 1. How it has worked its way up to a 7.9 utterly escapes me. This entire movie is built on racial slurs and disgusting imagery. What sort of mind-set must you possibly have to find any of this funny or well-done? We live in an age where we need tolerance and understanding, not this racial-hate sponsoring garbage. Apparently, the times of elevating a movie to cult status for talent and good work are over. This is entertainment for entertainment's sake.

5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Not too bad at all..., 10 May 2006

I had the chance to see this cartoon when I had Cartoon Network and found it to be a cute little show. I've not read the book that it's apparently based off of, though I hear the character's names are different from the cartoon and it seems to be a pretty good book. The show is about a witch and warlock trying to cause mischief in their town and constantly bickering with one another. Helping them along with that are two unwilling animal familiars, Jacob the crow and Maricio the cat. Unfortunately, I've not seen this show played on any other station since briefly seeing it on CN, though it would be nice to see YTV or Teletoon pick it up, considering most of the programming nowadays is sub-standard. Wunschpunch is a pretty standard kids' cartoon, though the main two characters, Tyrannia and Bubonic, were pretty funny. Good way to spend a Saturday morning, I think.

12 out of 26 people found the following review useful:
Not worth the money, 13 November 2005

Having seen Jumanji (and having loved it) way back in the day, I was naturally both intrigued and excited about Zathura. The same basic concept (the magical board game) with an entirely different twist. I was excited when I saw the previews and after hearing that the movie didn't rely entirely on CG, as is the case with many films nowadays.

Unfortunately, it proved to be an utter let-down. The first twenty minutes or so had potential. Yet it quickly turned into a mess of old ideas, mediocre (at best) acting, and a movie that just didn't have the feel to hold my attention. If I had to describe the entire thing in a single word, I would say it was just plain boring. Within the last half hour, which should have been the best time to grab at my attention, I just wanted to leave the theater. The only thing that kept me there was the fact I had paid money to see this and didn't want it totally wasted. All in all, do yourselves a favor: If you must, wait for the rental.

4 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Not perfect, but worth the time, 10 November 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie is a far cry from perfect. But then, few movies are nowadays and one has to learn not to be picky. If you're looking for some entertainment on a boring Saturday night, then this is a good way to go.

Despite the whining of her weatherman boyfriend, Jane becomes the newest tenant of a rather creepy looking apartment building, having inherited the place from a dead aunt. Over time, Jane comes to meet the various people that make up the rest of the tenants. They include a snoopy, loopy old lady, a slightly unhinged superintendent, a mysterious but kind old man, a blind and deaf old couple, and a rather mean-spirited old woman. Not to mention the man across the way from her may be a murderer, but, hey, can't win 'em all, right? Amidst all this, Jane finds herself being attacked by the woman living one floor below, obsessing over the "oral disturbances" that Jane just can't seem to cut out.

So yeah, rather a predictable, old plot, but still unique in a strange way. I own the movie and have watched it a few times already. Perhaps its the atmosphere and quirky, in some cases almost stereotyped characters that keep me coming back. Perhaps its the smooth, creepy music or use of scenery. Then again, it's probably Tobin Bell in his role as the Locksmith. Yeah, that could be it too...

It Makes Up For Everything...., 25 June 2005

Finally. FINALLY. A movie that makes up for the utter and complete waste of money that Batman Forever turned out to be. It makes the pain all better. Particularly since it's neither sequel nor prequel to the existing series, but rather a whole new bit, with the possibility of becoming something truly great. Batman Begins takes away from the unrealistic, almost cartoony-like franchise that the movies became and comes out with something darker and far more believable. The characters are a step and leap more realistic than they ever were before (with the exception of Katie Holmes, who I had no complains on really, but for the fact that she looked far too young for her particular role) and Batman himself is the best Batman to date (respect to Adam West, of course). Totally worth the money I paid to go see it and then some.