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68 out of 117 people found the following review useful:
Needed Another Re-Write or Two, 23 January 2009
3/10

When I saw the premise of this movie, I had a chuckle. It had the potential to be a decently funny movie, something perhaps with heart, something that delivered a good deal of laughs and you walked out feeling good. I wasn't expecting an Academy Award winning movie. Its definitely not Oscar-worthy. The real disappointment lies in the lack of humor in it.

Paul Blart (Kevin James) is a mall cop that seems to have no direction in his life. They go to good lengths to show how truly depressing his life is. Paul sees a woman in his mall, Amy (Jayma Mays), running a stand for hair extensions. He realizes that he needs to be with her and tries to woo her, even though he has no self-esteem. Just as the story is falling apart, the mall where they both work is robbed in a supposedly sophisticated scheme. Suddenly our slovenly friend is thrust into a role where he can try to impress the love of his life and excel at his job at the same time. Easy to guess where this story is going, no?

The acting was okay, the direction was tolerable. The problem is the script. As I said, the story itself had potential. It just felt as if the writers could decide where this was a character they loved or hated. It really could have used another re-write or two to develop the script a little more. The movie is tolerable, but realize that not only are you not seeing an Oscar-worthy movie, but you'll be a little disappointed in the laughs as well. 3/10

The Unborn (2009)
93 out of 147 people found the following review useful:
Unintentionally Funny- Not In A Good Way, 21 January 2009
2/10

Its ironic that this movie came out the week that the nominations for the Razzie Awards were released. I have a hunch that this film may garner a few nominations for that "prestigious" award next year.

This film is awful. It has no clue where it wants to go and takes quite a lot of time getting there. The story is about young Casey Beldon (Odette Yustman). She is a girl in school, working as a babysitter for some extra money. This is when she encounters a four year-old kid that she is sitting who appears to be evil. Soon, she is seeing the evil of that kid in her daily life. To rid herself of this, she begins examining her family history. This includes a mother (Carla Gugino) who was depressed and killed herself, a mysterious old woman in her mothers photos (Jane Alexander) who has had issues in the past, and her friends. Upon recommendation, she decides to have an exorcism performed by the rabbi (Gary Oldman). If you are getting ahead of me in the plot, you've basically got it right in your mind.

The writing is mediocre, and that is perhaps kind. The beginning of the story is simply about showing as much of Ms. Yustman's body that can be allowed in a PG-13 movie. If that couldn't be done in one scene, they come back to it four or five times. The story follows cliché after cliché and takes forever to really begin. The frights are minimal and within 20 minutes I was laughing at what I think was supposed to be scary. This movie is unintentionally funny once you pick up where it is going and what it is trying to do.

The one minor redeeming factor of this movie was some of the camera work. There were a few angles that were used that felt greatly different than the others, felt fresh and felt well placed. Those few shots cannot, however, overcome some of the worst over-acting I've ever seen, a poor script, and a lack of direction for a vast majority of the film. If you are an absolute horror film junkie, go ahead and have a laugh. If you are a fan of bad movies, enjoy. If you are looking for an enjoyable fright, look elsewhere.