Reviews written by registered user

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57 reviews in total 
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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Unwatchable, 15 July 2005

My boyfriend is a huge MST3K fan. I usually watch the movies and laugh along, but this was the worst one ever. Even with the jokes of Joel, Crow and the others, nothing could make this turkey fly. The female lead is the woman who starred in Mannequin and she's the best actress in there. The wardrobe people even managed to make her butt ugly and look like a man. There's no eye candy for anyone in here. Sometimes that can be a saving grace in these films. The shots are so dark, you have to squint to see what's going on. All I can think is that the lights were turned low to hide the terrible sets and wardrobe. All I can say about the plot is that it's abysmal. The only reason I'm even giving it 1 star is for the kitch value of seeing James Earl Jones in his worst role ever. About half way through, I noticed my boyfriend (who had been looking forward to seeing this all week) was fast asleep. There was no way that I going to endure this crap alone. If you want to see a better B movie set in the future, may I suggest MST3K's "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank." It's an early Raoul Julia movie. He escapes his Orwellian society by watching the banned, controversial film "Casablanca." It's pure B-movie, futuristic genius. Don't waste your time with "City Limits." Even "Angel's Revenge" is better.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
The Best (perhaps the only) New Wave Musical Ever., 20 April 2005

This is one of my favorite films. I just got finished watching the documentary on DVD. If you've ever wonder why this film was made, this will answer all your questions.

I first saw FB when I was in High School in the '80s. My boyfriend said I HAD to see it. I was severely disturbed by it and just didn't get it. It didn't help that he also rented Liquid Sky for us to watch too.

As an adult, I was at The Kennel Club in San Francisco waiting for a band to play (I think it was Lush). Projected on the wall was this very odd black and white film that combined physical comedy, animation, and some of the most creative visuals I had ever seen. It was Forbidden Zone. I rented the film and finally understood it and its mastery. As I get older, I view it every couple of years and see more that I missed the first time around. There's very clever visual humor in here like a man holding candles, while being suspended over a table like a chandelier. As time goes on, his arms go limp and he's folded over like he's dead. Later in the movie there's another seen at the table and all he is a skeleton now. What a brilliant way to show time passing. This is just a background piece of scenery. Every inch of the film has something happening in it.

As I said, watch the documentary. It's fascinating to hear what inspired this. Perhaps an Art degree and going to UC Santa Cruz will help you understand it better. It sure helped me.

The Order (2003)
2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Creative, thought-provoking and well-paced. Suffers from inaccurate marketing, 13 April 2005

I can see how this movie might offend or bore people. The main characters aren't good or evil, they are complex. It's NOT an action film nor is it about demon hunting. It more questions what is power, what is eternal, and who decides what's best for people.

*May contain mild spoilers* I was reluctant to see The Order because I hate horror and didn't want to see another Excorcist knock off, but this movie was everything I could have hoped for in a creative and intelligent film. The Order suffers from the same poor marketing that was given to The Village. Both were portrayed as horror/suspense/monster films when they were actually more like parable or mystery. I'm amazed that this film even got made considering the trend towards films to do anything to shock, scare and shake your emotions these days. This film is more for shaking your mind.

I'm shocked that the film got such low ratings. I guess people are more interested in mindless entertainment. What I got out of the film was very deep. It questions if the Catholic church is the only way towards salvation. The main character is a Priest who's part of a renegade order. It's like a coming of age story in a lot of ways and questions how much control a person has towards the direction his life takes. Anyone who complains that some parts were predictable must not have been paying attention to the film. One of the points was the priests life being set up like dominos to fall in a certain order (no pun intended). Even with the predictability, there are surprise twists and questions of freewill. The main characters are more symbolic of a persons psychological make-up if anything. It's a very complex film and kept my attention. It's not for people with ADHD.

3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
A Pleasant Surprise, 31 March 2005

I have very low expectations for the sequel that rides on the success of the first movie, but I was pleasantly surprised by this film. My boyfriend's mother rented it for Easter. I really didn't care for the first film. It was a lot of complaining and my selective memory has erased most of it, so this was the last sequel that I wanted to see.

I enjoyed this film much more than the first one. Boy, was I surprised. There's some good stuff here. It reminds me of an old 1950s movie. There's a fantastic slapstick fight between two of the characters. I won't say more because I don't want to spoil it, but the physical comedy in this is excellent. It's on par with an old Jerry Lewis film.

Bridget accepts herself better. She's OK with her body and insecurities. Bridget is like the cat who falls out the window, but still lands on her feet. She's shaken up, but turns out OK. Things actually happen in this movie. It's not just diary writing. For a light, romantic comedy, this very much satisfies. Don't expect any reality here. If you'd like to see some, go rent Breakdown Palace to learn about Thai jails.

The main problem with the film is the editing. I got the feeling that plot information didn't make it into the final cut. If your looking for light entertainment, this is perfect. It shows the insecurities and misunderstandings that can happen at the beginning of a relationship, but weaves a cute story around it. Rene looks great with the extra pounds too. When will Hollywood learn that the anorexic look is out?

It's nice to see a romance that's not tear-jerkingly painful or cloyingly sweet. It's just a cute story that's easy on the brain and touches on what it's like to date in your 30s. If you see it with those expectations, you'll enjoy it.

1 out of 21 people found the following review useful:
Blade with Demons Instead of Vampires, 19 February 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

My title pretty much sums it up.

Plot summary: Demons are trying to dominate the earth and a chosen one must stop them. (Replace Demons with Vampires, Nazis, Aliens, Spiders, Egg Beaters or whatever your whim and that will cover about 75% of these kinds of horror movies).

Here are the highlights and lowlights:

-The Devil was a great, sleazy, personification of a swindling, lounge lizard. One of the best devil depictions in film that I've seen.

-Decent special effects

-Predictable storyline

-Fine for a matinée, but I wouldn't pay full price

-I've seen worse

-Major plot inconsistency: If Angela could tune out the ghosts as a child, couldn't she do that again as an adult?

-Some super-fancy gadgets

-One of the characters is a black-market, religious weapons dealer who collects those moo-cow toys. He's interesting and the priest that hears the damned is interesting, but more time should have been taken with character development

If you're looking for a scary, Satan-taking-over-the-earth film, I suggest The Omen, Damien Omen II or The Prophecy.

21 out of 22 people found the following review useful:
Brilliant film., 6 February 2005

Before I fully begin, let me make one thing clear: The emphasis in this film is not boxing, but the life of a boxer (Jack Johnson) played by James Earl Jones (Darth Vader).

In telling the tale of Johnson's life this movie depicts the racial boundaries going on in America in the early 20th century. Unlike many films which tell a tale of racial injustice, this film manages to do it:

a) Without sugar coating anything. b) Without being over-dramatic.

I saw it today on television and I didn't know what to expect before it started. I was interested to see it because I've heard references made to it in the past and was curious. I can say for certain that giving this film a chance, and watching it beginning to end, is the best movie-related decision I've made in a long time (at least ten-thousand times better than deciding to rent Resident Evil 2).

In watching this I got a deep sense of reality. A big reason for this is a simply phenomenal performance by James Earl Jones, as well as solid acting on the part of Jane Alexander and many of the supporting cast members.

I couldn't believe that IMDb only has 8 reviews of this movie (at least at the time of me writing this), and due to some folks totally missing the point of it, it has a somewhat sad rating.

SEE this film if you are into compelling stories about interesting people which are well written and acted.

DON'T see this film if you expect Rocky III.

There are a lot of good movies out there and I enjoy all manner of cinema, but I can say without a doubt in my mind that The Great White Hope has made it into the realm of my favorites.

10 out of 10

3 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
The Director Should Be Rammed Back Into the Hole He Came From, 26 January 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

At least that's my boyfriend's opinion and mine's not that far off. I'm always wary of films that get tons of hype and have popular actors in them, so I went into seeing this film expecting...well...not much. What I found surprising was that it was EVEN WORSE than I even anticipated it to be.

I don't have a problem with a movie done with blue screen. Good actors (and writers) should be able to elicit good stories and emotion without a bunch of props or fancy scenery (see Finding Neverland and pay attention to Barrie's lessons to Peter). The robots remind me of toys my older brother once had and the deco skyline is breathtaking, so what's the problem? Sky Captain is more like a beautiful present wrapped in the finest paper with gold ribbons and bows, but contains only tissue paper inside.

Paltrow is horribly miscast as the '30s female lead. Here visage makes a pet rock look like its emoting like a drama queen. The actress they chose could have had more expression on her face than just mild shock, and shock. Her slack-jaw expression did anything but elicit terror. Other actresses such as Christina Ricci or Reece Witherspoon done up like Veronica Lake would have worked better. I would have even preferred her role to be switched with Angelina Jolie (Jolie being the best actress in this film). Jolie would have at least had more screen time.

There were so many continuity problems. I'm all for suspension of belief, Terry Gilliam is my favorite director, but there's a logic within his film realm. Skewed logic makes sense if the entire film has skewed logic, but this film has absolutely no logic to it.

1) In one scene Jude Law speaks fluent Tibetan. In the next scene (the one in the bed) he needs a full-on translator to communicate the simplest things (Where are my clothes? Have you seen blah blah blah).

2) The underwater scene where Law's sub-plane is going to ram into a robot, but a large rock stuck in its rutters prevents it from turning. Jolie destroys the robot and then magically Law can turn his plane and "pull up" to safety.

3) Paltrow finds a bubble gum wrapper on the floor. Somehow this item props her to look straight up into a ton of debris to see part of a map stuck under a rafter. This also begs the question of how did Dex have enough time to get his gum chewy enough, much less have the coordination to stick the paper perfectly above where Paltrow would look, while being dragged off by a 30-foot robot.

4)Don't even get me started on the scientists and their experiments. Finding the miniature elephant was great (sort of like the mini-people in Bride of Frankenstein), but I wanted to know what happened to it.

5) You can't start a new world with only two of every animal. In-breeding is bad, diversity is good. It's a basic law in biology. Nothing was said about DNA manipulation.

OK. I just needed to get all that out of my system.

I also enjoyed the performance Ling Bai. She is a very under-rated actress. I liked her in the Angel series (wished she had been a recurring character), but she's fantastic in this homage to good IL' hand-to-hand fight scenes. I especially enjoyed her fight with the electrical pipe at the end (it totally reminded me of fights with a double-headed light-saber).

I would like to see more films with this style, but with a better script, cast and continuity director.

2/10 (I gave it 2 out of 10 because I could tell a lot of thought went into the scenery and Ling Bai and Jolie are excellent)

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