Reviews

4 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
1/10
Boring and predictable
2 July 2016
Too bad it took me around one hour to realize how I've been wasting my time watching long, meaningless shots without any apparent purpose. Suspense doesn't cut it, as people eating pizza and walking around an empty campus isn't in any way tense or scary.

The whole movie could be compressed into a 15 minutes short without any noticeable plot loss. The supposedly scary scenes aren't even that scary. And predictable. Everything is so damn predictable. It actually gives you a spoiler within the disclaimer at the very beginning.

The 80's horror reference wasn't enough to hold our interest, as it has been done before, extensively, better, by numerous more capable hands.

Recommended to bed time for its sleep inducing properties.
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Turbo Kid (2015)
7/10
Low budget masterpiece
6 September 2015
I am not particularly into low budget movies, but this one exceeded all my expectations. If not for the 80's cultural references (think power rangers, Automan) or the gory fight scenes, the sheer sarcasm and cheesy jokes, clearly mocking other SciFi classics from the decade, got me all hooked from start to end.

Add to the fun a synthesizer music score, wonderful acting and perfect use of classical 80's filming techniques, resembling masters like Sam Reimi and Wes Craven.

Sadly not everyone will get the peculiar sense of humor in this, but if you lived in the 80's and love it like I do, prepare to be entertained.
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5/10
Bad movie with the best sex scenes or bad porn with the best screenplay ever
22 February 2014
If you are into this title for the hot girl-on-girl sex scenes, then you will not be disappointed.

As for the rest, enough to say that the whole story would fit in a twenty minutes short if not for the long, nap-inducing meaningless scenes.

The movie is full of scenes containing lengthy character close-ups, silent walks apparently to nowhere in special and even people sleeping are scattered all over, making the three hour long final cut almost unbearable to watch.

I could not figure the purpose or why they left scenes where nothing happens in a movie that is too lengthy and boring.

I am ready for the gay community bashing session, but even some of them agreed with me, saying this is a low-paced movie with a simplistic and naive screenplay. Missable.
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Fireproof (2008)
1/10
Evangelic indoctrination
1 July 2010
It should say in round words, right at the cover what this is about: An inexpressive piece of religious propaganda. But it does not.

It is not before around forty minutes into the movie that we see the first uses of the word God, Jesus, prayer accompanied with bible citations and references.

In reality, the tag-line should be "God can solve all your problems, including your dysfunctional marriage". Unfortunately not even God can save this movie from absolute mediocrity. I wonder what it takes for 38% of people watching this to give it a 10. Perhaps a brainwash.

Fact is I can never get back those two lost hours of my life.

100% Miss-able.
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