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Wretched documentary that tries and fails with bad metaphors
26 December 2006
This short was featured on episode 623 of Mystery Scienc Theater 3000 and boy did it ever need the treatment. To put it simply and to quote Mike Nelson, by the end we discover that accidents are caused, "by joy, sex, and old age." This is particular to accidents on the railroad. This documentary short shoots you with more irrelevant metaphors than the regular Coleman Francis feature, and it leaves you feeling depressed and empty knowing the greatest joys in life always lead to the death of you and your loved ones. I recommend this documentary only in its mst3k format, where it is excellent fodder for m&tbs. I leave you with the vision of a minister strolling his congregations neighborhood, pointing out all the accidents that were caused by the grace of god as a consequence for living the days of their years.
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Frosty (1965)
Overly cutesy, incomprehensible
28 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
You know you have to take note of the copious amount of people who say that this movie is unfairly rated. To them I must say,

It's not that we don't have the culture to watch this sort of thing (we've been subjected to more bizarre, exotic, and incomprehensible story lines than this and liked them) it was the overall effect of the movie that was incomprehensible, making it harder to enjoy.

Acting: It was fairly weak, especially with the supporting cast. Way to many subplots to make a comprehensible storyline, perhaps because it meshed too many tales together. There was definitely no overall me3ssage to the movie. As the mst3k guys put it so well. "So it's better to contemplate something good rather than actually doing it?" or "Bottom line, don't mess with jack frost."

It's not purely the story we disagree with. You can't blame movies if they don't have the resources, but this movie also had a lot of lack of effort put into the story. I am still not sure why the witch tried to bucket Ivan's head at the end.

Just as trivia here's a list of well-known tales this could relate to

Bony Legs Sleeping Beauty Snow White Wiley and the Hairyman

and thousands of others.
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The Best Mst3k episode ever
7 August 2006
this is, without a doubt, the funniest episode of mst3k ever to air. Everyone is on top of their game today. The writing was perfect for the perfect movie to rip on. It's one thing to watch a really bad movie that already knows that its not good to make you fall asleep. It's another thing to watch a really bad movie knowing that they might've have tried to make a good movie. You can obviously tell from the actor's 'dramatic' pauses that the director thought himself a c-movie genius.

It's a great starter episode in case you want to watch or you want your friends to get hooked on it. There aren't many of those complicated references to unknown celebrities, bearable in-between segments, catchy tunes making fun of Satan that are probably the diamonds in the entire treasure chest of laughs. Mike, Tom, and Crow each have there moments, from Tom singing, "Hallmar Hall of Fame presents, The touch of Satan... Come sit with meeeeee, and Satan toooo, He's your friend and mine," or "Do you mind if I skip across it?" To Mike sheepishly asking, "Your kind of an idiot Arne't you?" to Crow shrieking in horror, "Oh no, now the credits are going to unspool backwards!" As usual Mike writes all the best lines for the bots, though I think we pretty much have accepted them as suitable characters, but the big surprise comes that there are so many good lines in this episode, even mike comes off as insanely hilarious.

Once again, the greatest episode ever, a must-see of the series. Details: you can only find it online or on a four-disc set with "Merlin's mystical shop of wonders" "Boggy Creek 2: And the legend continues" and "Time Chaser" ToS and MmsoW are the two good ones. BC2 is okay, and Time-chasers is a below average episode that can be funny at times.
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