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16 reviews in total 
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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Run-of-the-mill horror title; tried to be "Smart" but mediocre sadly., 10 July 2017

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I would probably not have bothered with this film, but a good friend REALLY wanted to see it, so we went and checked it out. At this point in modern film-making, there is nothing new under the sun...especially in the "Horror genre"...sadly that is also true of this title. The plot has been done before in 2009's "The Unborn" more or less, but this run through has 2 twin sisters, rather than a boy and a girl.

The beginning is OK, there does seem to be a supernatural basis to the origin of the individual who gets the ball rolling in the first 5 mins (pun intended), but this element is never really pursued again; if at all...then only in the final 20 minutes, but it is never specifically mentioned as such...merely by assumption.

There are your compulsory characters that serve no purpose other than to die! Obligatory annoying individuals who you wish would die (some do thankfully), littered throughout, along with the typical in the social media/see short attention span modern age; jump cuts that make up for not having sensible transition scenes between main scenes. To be fair the editing is probably the best part of this film, so they at least did a competent job of splicing all the celluloid together (if they even still do that?).

The acting is passable in the main. The 2 female leads do OK, but their friendship being not quite sisters/not quite lovers/who knows what, really fails to convince and you can almost see them switching out of character before the director yells "CUT!" in a handful of scenes. I had to laugh where she ties herself up thinking it will stop her nocturnal antics; as if she tied herself definition she can untie herself!...Anyway if she was serious in any way about protecting those around her, she would have asked to be committed/observed...I mean seriously; the operation was in a couple of days for Christ sake! The ending is totally predictable, by 25 minutes in you know the next hour is a formality. There is no 1 memorable scene unless you like freakish transformation effects (barely there tbh), and I cannot think why anyone would want to see this more than buying on DVD is a non-starter.

With so many other horror titles available, including a back catalogue of quality films from 60s/70s/80s, it is hard to recommend this film for any particular reason. If you're watching cable TV late and are too lazy to reach for the remote...check it out...Maybe!

Supreme Turkish madness courtesy of Cuneyt Arkin-Seagal for the ages!, 19 June 2017

Despite viewing this film in its native Turkish, minus any fan-subs or dubs, one might not the ideal way to consume a film. In all honesty I think this just added to the anarchic mayhem rather than spoiling it!! Our favourite Turk action man plays (Basically) a middle eastern Bond, complete with hard drinking, womanising and driving fast cars (well that last one isn't strictly true as instead he has a clapped out Merc/Driver combo tooling around town, so he don't have to get his hands dirty). He does hop on the occasional motorbike here and there however (same bike as in Col for those fanboys out there). This film is just crazy nonsense from start to finish, I have no idea what they were saying, but to be honest I don't care as the action set pieces are handled so bloody well. Cuneyt is the man; he does all his own stunts and fight scenes, which just have to be seen to be believed. Special mention goes to the "stitched together suit of clothes lit on fire being thrown down the stairwell", and also the classic "blows two Hench-men into the pool like the big bad wolf).

So many scenes have been copied straight out of Bond films, they even swiped some stock footage (Diamonds are forever) and some music/soundtrack action. They have their own version of the pool scene (Diamonds again) and bits and bobs all over the place...see if you can spot them all! These films make superb drinking games if so inclined ;) For any fans of the big man out there, this feature is chock-a-block full of all the other actors that have popped up in other titles from the same stable. My mates and I had loads of fun pointing out characters/actors who played roles in such legendary titles as "Adam-The man who saved the earth", "Death Warrior" & "Col".

I have to say that we are sick individuals who enjoy this tripe, where most "Norms" would baulk at it...the other films were great, but this is in a whole new league frankly! Great pacing, crazy fights, goons, guns, girls and a frankly genius scene where his police chief boss chastises him for alcoholism, then swiftly pours him a drink! Keep an eye out for the "fighting his inner demons" scene, 3/4 of the way through.

Don't delay; seek this film out and treat you, your mates and anyone you can find along with a bottle of whisky...make up your own dialogue, we did, it all adds to the fun!

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Accept this for what it is..., 25 April 2014

Too many people watch films expecting EVERY SINGLE ONE to be Oscar worthy! In fact statistically you will find that most cannot hope to deliver a product at that level! This is one of those films, shall we call them "Friday Night Films". I usually have a gathering of friends round mine on Friday nights (too old to go out on the town nowadays), where we line up 2-3 titles to pass the time. Some weeks are "serious", some not. Last week we watched 12 years a slave, Argo & Munich, the week before it was this, Troll 2 & Hell comes to frogtown...catch my drift? The Lost Empire is a campy, exploitation piece of cinema with copious amounts of nudity, some hopeless "fight" scenes that have to be seen to be believed (especially the wooden shuriken to the back of the head scene), a craptastic villain complete with henchmen and little/no story. The women all look good, especially the 3 leads, but the extras aren't too shabby either! The story requires little/no attention to be paid to the screen throughout, which is exactly what crap film nights are all about, as more time is spent laughing and chatting than watching.

If you're a fan of trash cinema like Death Wish 3, Street Trash, Tromaville films, etc then you really can't go far wrong with this! Enjoy.

8 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
Way below par..!, 4 March 2009

I always preferred the original Japanese titles to the second rate American remakes, but as there was no Jap Grudge 3 it became a no brainer (in every sense of the phrase). I enjoyed the first two films a fair bit; I wouldn't have said that they rocked my world, but were not such a bad way to spend an hour and a half.

This third installment is almost not part of the same franchise; OK, so there are the same main characters from the previous two and the so-called curse that is supposed to be attributed to the location where the murders took place (therefore how can it move to the USA just because the story needs it as a plot device?), other than that nothing much. The characters are all horrendous stereotypes from clichéd horror films which were all done far better than this mess, the story plods along slower than it has any right to and the majority of the first hour does little other than explain who the 4 main characters are, which could be done in around 5 minutes if handled correctly!! There is little by way of gore apart from a couple of stabbing scenes and an off-screen pulverisation; which for most of us horror film fans is the ultimate pay off and the reason we sit through the rest of the tiresome background building sections and introductory necessities! The end is a complete formality and would have been better to have just ended on a blank screen and a decent, well-produced sound-byte...most of which are handled atrociously incidentally...

I give it 4 out of 10; one point for each of the deaths and one point for the joyous sight of the end credits appearing. Avoid unless sleepless...this may help!

Insanitarium (2008) (V)
15 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
Watchable; if you like gory films and zombies..., 11 July 2008

I watched this last night with some friends, who all appreciate gore-fest style films. I thought it was a watchable film that does show some potential at the start, but about halfway through does unfortunately descend into standard slasher/horror cliché territory...

One of the redeeming qualities of this title was the gore, it has plenty to keep even the most ardent crimson fan happy. The make up is quite well done, considering that most of the meagre budget was probably spent on the two main stars. There are the usual huge plot holes; such as people who are supposedly insane, suddenly becoming lucid and capable of defending themselves, perfecting motor functions and having sensible conversations (keep the bullets, we'll need them!).

The main features include: a doctor having her arm torn off, scalpel to the chin, cleaver to the face, metal spike through the head/mouth, a fair amount of topless female nudity & a couple of cheesy one liners! It won't rock your world by any means, but if you are a fan of this kind of film and you need a bit of escapism (no pun intended), you may find this appealing. I would recommend watching this after going down the pub/bar for a couple of drinks, then back to a mate's place to watch this at the weekend.

I give it 5 out of 10; not Oscar material by a long shot, but not such a terrible way to spend 80 minutes of your life, especially with some friends...

4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Superb; what more can you say?, 29 November 2007

Films of this type should never be viewed seriously, they are made deliberately to poke fun at clichéd film genres and are primarily there to make you laugh after stumbling in after a night out on the lash with your mates at the weekend! Weng-Weng once again plays the role of super smooth action hero 00-Weng; irresistible to women and hard as nails...he takes on all the bad guys & wins! Scenes to watch out for are definitely the "Jumping the ravine on a monkey bike doing 5 Mph", suspended by monofilament wires. Self-destructing television sets; Pre-recorded videos that ask interactive questions and respond to live answers; this film has it all, no doubt about it!!! "You don't know me and you don't have to know me..." Genius!

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
It blows all the recent martial arts films out of the water!!, 2 July 2007

I have been a fan of martial arts films for ages; I was always slightly disappointed that the emphasis would often be on ridiculously convoluted plots rather than being focused on the fights themselves. Thankfully this is not the case with "Buddhist Fist"; the plot centres around a pair of childhood friends who go their separate ways in their teens, a few years later one is recalled home after events transpire in his home village. He is now a hairdresser (a bad one) & in traditional Kung-fu cinema style has a clumsy sidekick in tow; whilst the other friend is a Buddhist monk at the village temple. Not wanting to spoil the film for anybody, that's all I will reveal, but essentially it is the tale of what occurs to the two friends as the village is manipulated by the bad guy, imaginatively titled "Big-small feet" (no prizes for guessing why!)

The stand-out moments from this title have to be the astoundingly choreographed fight scenes...I mean these sequences are AMAZING: it's as simple as that. I have seen more martial arts films than I've had hot dinners (almost)and these scenes are something else!! The fighting borders on dancing in places, it is so technical and astounding to watch, I mean I didn't know human beings were capable of such things. Also worthy of mention are the comedy moments; I never really liked the slapstick elements of martial arts films, like the ones in Jackie Chan films which are always way OTT(with sound effects to match), but they really work here...especially the hunchback "poisoner" whose special technique is "Holy Ghost Claw". Plus I challenge anybody not to laugh when the compulsory Master/Sensei pulls out his bag of tricks to upstage the youngsters with his moves..."Strength is improved: by form breathing..." Classic!!

Lots of these kinds of films are too heavy on the fights without justification. Films like "Mystery of chess boxing" for example, where there is a brief introduction similar to the rest, character gets wronged by indiscriminate bad guy, gets taught Kung-fu by a "master", becomes an unstoppable force for good, wins in the that order. Buddhist fist on the other hand, balances out the fights with just the right amount of story in between & even attempts to provide sensible reasons for each encounter, instead of the usual "you tripped me up in the street; now defend yourself or die!". Each fight gets more and more frenetic until the energy-fuelled finale, which has to be seen to be believed.

There is no real nudity, no real gore, no romance element, but if these are the reasons you watch this kind of film, you're doing it for the wrong reasons IMHO; it's about the Kung-fu and the physical feats of the actors. Definitely in my top 5 martial arts films of all time, a lost gem from the hugely talented Yuen Wo Ping stable of the far east!

7 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
What can you say? Absolute Classic 80's Actioner..., 15 June 2007

This film is in a league of it's own: I won't bother to re-state what every other person has already posted regarding the plot. Needless to say it makes no sense what-so-ever in the big scheme of things, but there is plenty of violence and preposterous characters such as the "Crystal Skull" liven things up no end. The best line in the whole film has to be "We can't move; we're immobilised" (by an invisible force field), so how come he can still move his jaw to speak? As I say ultimately in a league of it's own and one of the best examples of how practically any script was considered during the 80's as a potential blockbuster!

16 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
One of the best Season 1 episodes..., 7 June 2007

This episode is a clever take on the old "Carrot & Stick" ploy; of offering something badly wanted, only to deliver a short sharp shock! The crew of Moya encounter an alien geneticist who can track down a path across the universe to the home world, simply by sampling the races' D.N.A. Then deliver the results in the form of an interstellar map. The introduction of such an opportunity causes major upheaval to the crew, as Rygel, Zhaan and Dargo quickly decide that the cost (one of Pilot's four arms)is well worth the sacrifice, much to pilot's dismay. Crichton and Aeryn object but are not consulted in time to stop the event occurring, needless to say Crichton in his human-ness is horrified as is Aeryn (possibly due to the fact that Crichton has no foreseeable route home anyway & Aeryn cannot return from exile to the peacekeepers and has no home"world" to boot, unlike the other 3). The geneticist then proceeds to graft pilots' D.N.A into Aeryns prompting major changes to her overall form.

This episode is one of my favourites from Season 1, for many different reasons: It highlights how quickly the crew turn mercenary and forsake pilot to look out for number 1. It is also one of the major indicators that Aeryn and her "tough-girl" attitude is all a front, as she leans on Crighton heavily throughout the second half of the episode, reaching out to him both physically and emotionally for help and reveals a great deal of her inner feelings. P.K Tech girl highlighted her jealousy of having a significant rival for John's attention, but this episode far outstrips it with real emotional turmoil sparking the start of what I consider to be THE best "Space-Opera" romantic relationship, that takes well over 3 seasons to properly develop. It also shows us how aggressive Zhaan's encounter with Maldis in the previous episode has resulted in her being decidedly darker and quicker to anger than we had come to expect from earlier episodes.

All in all this episode really delivers on many different levels and represents why so many fans have heaped critical acclaim upon this fantastic and underrated Sci-Fi series...Superb!

15 out of 20 people found the following review useful:
Well made under-stated piece of cinema, 31 August 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Inevitably each of us audience members will take something different away from watching this film; for me it was just how far some people will go to get what they want in this modern world, with a complete lack of moral obligation! **Minor spoiler on next 3-4 lines; skip if you want** Don't get me wrong, I felt as though it was a little OTT (considering a late teen/early 20-something could team up and commit murder/voluntary manslaughter{not sure what the correct charge would be} with step-dad), but then again I'm sure stranger things have happened in real life! The twist was obvious to me, considering the character in question; but probably not to all, but it did try to tell a moralistic tale without all the heavy lecturing narratives or sudden change of heart.

The acting was all first rate, Carrie-Anne-Moss was stunning both to look at and to watch at work as the hopeless self-indulgent mother, Baldwin was brilliant and expertly brought a refreshing duality to the step-father character: seemingly both apprehensive in some scenes & prepared to do what it took in others, which I would imagine is not an easy thing to do when reading the text on a page when getting into character. The young star Nicki Reed was great for a newbie, I have seen "13" in the rental store but I never felt like actually picking it up, but after seeing her performance in this I may decide to check it out; one to watch following in the footsteps of Christina Ricci etc playing the young but totally savvy & remarkably inventive Mini. Goldblum plays himself; almost aping himself at times & Luke Wilson follows with another underrated performance ala Royal Tennenbaums & steals the show as the doggedly determined cop who does a performance in his best "Columbo" mode.

As I stated earlier; each will see this from a different perspective, many religious people may see it as glorifying the "get rich quick by doing whatever you have to" mentality of modern people (both young and old), but remember that story is told by a character who had no real father at all (Baldwin only started acting like one during the film by the lead characters own admission 20 minutes or so into it) & a mother who takes every opportunity to dig at her with snide remarks and even use her daughters bed for her own carnal needs, without a second thought. Coming from a similar upbringing myself I can relate to certain parts of the character that mean you have to grow up fast to protect yourself from outside influences & if not kept carefully in check by the personal moral values of the self; it is easy to adopt a "mercenary" attitude, caring about nobody & nothing but your own selfish needs.

This is how I would imagine the director meant the work to be seen; a lesson in how ignoring your children's emotional and personal needs as they grow up can create damaged and sociopathic personalities, not straightforward 2-dimensional "Michael Myers" types, but perfectly adapted clever ones who pick up on the pretend niceties and morals of the adults around them & develop the facility to use all means at their disposal to manipulate and prey upon such things...Unique...

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