Reviews written by registered user
the_crock

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27 reviews in total 
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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
I see breasts and violence here..., 19 December 2005
8/10

There are certain movies that can be completely enjoyed against your better judgment. Most Ed Wood films, the occasional Michael Bay film and virtually all Russ Meyer films. I mean they are films that deal with angry women with big breasts killing or maiming men. Even though they were ahead of their time (think Kill Bill, Alien or the Terminator before women really became hard in films) they are really exploitation films of breasts and violence. Some may say the perfect films. The dialogue is also legendary, it's somewhere between the insane, "Welcome to violence" and the so corny it hurts, "Here Rosie baby, pop the top before you blow your own!". Somehow Meyer still constructs a movie that although terrible bad in almost every way (the editing is quite good), is a classic in the way that only the truly worst can be. Enjoyable down to the last bad fight scene. I'll never race three strippers in the desert in the same way again.

1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
One day Singleton will rise up..., 13 November 2005
7/10

John Singleton has all the skills to make great movies, this isn't one, but he is getting closer. I don't know what's holding him back, but I wait for the day when he makes a movie that will kick my ass. There is great subtlety in this movie (for an action movie), and the performances, from actors most people don't respect, is well above average. But in the end this is a 1970's revenge movie, with a hipper black feel. John Singleton's love of 70's cinema is all over this movie, from the look and feel all the way to the music, and it makes the movie all the more endearing.

This movie only strengthens my resolve that this man will one day make a masterpiece, a movie that will make Boyz in the hood, a great debut, but not a great movie (not the classic that people try and make it out to be). What is good, is that after all these years, Peebles, Lee and Singleton are still making damn fine films, what is disappointing is that there aren't more black directors stepping towards the mainstream, with the authority and flair of these talented men.

But what would I know, I'm just a snow flake from Melbourne.

25 out of 49 people found the following review useful:
A great movie without an audience, 30 October 2005
10/10

Just another terrible Aussie movie (that's what they'll say), I mean aren't they all. We have no good writers, average directors and actors who can't wait to get away. Everyone was happy in Australia to put the boot into the local industry time and time again, but where were those people when this masterpiece came out, probably refusing to see this because its too violent, or bagging it because it took English money to make it. This is a sensational western, one of the best ever (Up there with The Wild Bunch, Unforgiven and the Good, the Bad and the Ugly) and if it wasn't Australian it probably would have made a lot more money. But who needs money, I'm sure every person who saw this movie was moved, and I suppose that's what cinema is about. Although if people actually go see good movies, Hollywood will be forced to make good movies, but that's just a thought. I'm too angry at the general population to actually continue writing this.

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
I'm not gonna make a little pun, 12 August 2005
10/10

Let's not be coy, most movies suck. There I said it, out loud for all to hear. Well on paper anyway. Most movies about dwarfs are bad, and most dwarf acting is bad, and by that I'm not saying that being a dwarf makes you a bad actor, it's more to do with the direction and with the characters they play. Most dwarf characters are loud and obnoxious attention seekers, and put that with a squeaky voice and the fact the directors are trying to get a laugh there is no hope for the little fellas.

Then comes along The Station Agent which is a starring role for a dwarf but it's a beautiful character study of a man, who just happens to be short. Peter Dinklage plays perfectly a man who has retreated from the world because of the way it has treated him. With excellent comedic support from Bobby Cannavale (the way these two fail to bounce off each other is beautiful) and a brilliant performance from Patricia Clarkson, the dwarf angle means little against the inner demons these characters have.

This movie is not really a comedy, not really a drama, just a weird slice of life that is an amazing movie. And yet again this was an independent movie, as Hollywood as neither the brains nor soul to make a movie as good as this.

18 out of 21 people found the following review useful:
Why have people not seen this movie, 12 August 2005
9/10

I have avoided this movie since the day it came out, firstly it had Tim Allen in it, second that poster looked hideous and thirdly it was an ensemble piece. It just looked stupid, I had heard it was good, but the name, the poster and the Tim Allen thing all made me walk past this movie over and over again in the video store. So finally I get it out, and from the two mafia guys talking about deliverance right through till the end I love this movie.

This is a movie about movie clichés, but it tells the story in such a way that you could watch even more clichés and still enjoy it. Slater was good, not true romance good, but good, Connolly is great, but the man who steals the shop is Allen who is the funniest hit-man since Grosse Point Blank (Aykroyd or Cusack). And not only is Allen funny, but he holds the movie together in what is by far the toughest role.

I cannot believe more people have not seen this movie. This is a cult classic all about films, I think every movie junkie out there should see this movie right now. I don't know why the director isn't getting work after this (other than its failure to make any money), but I urge any future directors to look this man up and give him some cash.

If you're reading this review, ignore this movie no further.

6 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
the oh no doco, 3 August 2005
2/10

I saw the Yes men recently, a documentary about guys who essentially pretend to be from the World Trade Organisation and then pull funny stunts in order to prove that the World Trade Organisation is an evil empire.

Shame it's a really tedious documentary, I mean you had all the elements of a great documentary, guys with inflatable wands, telling a bunch of uni students they are planning to feed third world countries with first world feces. I mean come on, how could you make a documentary like that boring.

Well firstly, you would show the two main protagonists in various apartments for most of the movie. Also you could make sure that you end on a really slow note, taking as much enjoyment out of the inflatable wand as possible. And maybe, just maybe, you could show an amazing amount of people in lifts and walking.

Nick Broomfield and Michael Moore this isn't.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
hail the bale, 3 August 2005
9/10

This movie was interesting. Firstly for 20 minutes it is hard to even watch Christian Bale without feeling ill. Losing 28 kilos must have seemed like a good idea at the time, but surely one visit to the mirror and the man realised he was in trouble. After getting over that sick feeling your watching someone about to die, I really started to evaluate the movie. It seemed very arty, with an almost blue tinge to it. It reminded me of Fight Club, Memento and Requiem for a dream at times. There was a melancholy underneath everything that Christian Bale did. I sat mesmerised by the movie, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking sure it's a beautiful movie to watch, and sure Bale is brilliant as always, but is it really a special movie. I was unsure for most of the last half hour, until the end came, and then I'd known I had just seen a very special movie. It was unoriginal in an original way, and I'm so glad I saw it.

Saw (2004)
nice work gents, 3 August 2005
10/10

This definitely isn't one for the faint hearted. There is a very disturbing scene in this movie involving the girl from Becker, but as much as it disgusts you, try to watch the movie past that point. It's that point in the movie where it shifts from horror movie to thriller. I have to admit I saw (get it) this movie thinking it would be a bit of a stinker. I mean a one million dollar budget for a horror film made in Hollywood, usually means trouble. Damn me if it wasn't one of the best horror/thrillers I've ever seen. Take out Cary Elwes average acting and this movie is sensational. That camera flash scene is so clever I wish I had thought of it. I can understand why so many people walked out, as early on this movie is pretty horrific. However I believe the movie is worth it, and if you are one of those people always whinging about Australian movies, remember that this movie was directed, written and acted in by two very talented young Australians. Now pass me that blunt saw I have an itch to scratch.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
not a comic book movie, 3 August 2005
10/10

American cinema is over run with stupid movies, they are everywhere, comic book movies, computer game movies, Disney ride movies and terrible teen comedies. All of these are aimed at the younger market, some of them make money and some are forgotten two weeks after opening. Then there are the cheaply made gems that no one wants to make, they some how sneak through the filter of Hollywood and make it to our screens. Last year was a golden year because there were two brilliant ones, Napoleon Dynamite and Garden state. Both of them had exceptional un-orthodox scripts, brilliant comedy and unforgettable scenes. Movies I could watch over and over again. Garden state is a movie any self respecting 20 something person should see, and for the rest of you, if you like irony and sarcasm with no comic book characters this is the place to go. It's so refreshing to see a young film maker use his own un orthodox script. This movie is not made like the average formulaic script and because of that it clearly outpoints most movies that are made.

Dark Days (2000)
7 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
dark enough, 3 August 2005
10/10

This movie is amazing. Essentially made by the homeless about the homeless (with some help from an Englishman with no film experience). The 16mm looks amazing, and the darkness of the underground is a great setting. This movie won awards at Sundance and it's not hard to see why, this sort of bleeding heart left story line is always good for a for awards. This film actually deserved all the awards and it's not often I say that about a movie. It is essentially the story of homeless people living in a community under Penn Station in New York, and all the characters are engaging and fun, even if it is hard to understand them at times. This is what documentary film making should be about, this movie wasn't made by a film student, it was made by someone who felt deeply for the homeless and decided to help them. And because of this film all the homeless living there were given homes.


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