ashbare Reviews

American Mary (2012)

Not bad...not bad at all.

[7/10 · 5 July 2013]

This one kind of grabbed me by surprise. I never heard of it before and it stars Katherine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps anyone?). Anyhow, she's been smoking hot ever since and apparently still is. This doesn't hurt the film one bit and was enough motivation for me to give it a spin.

The story isn't one dabbled in often. We are introduced to a med student who is doing very well, and progressing through school by suturing up fresh turkeys on her Friday nights to practice her surgeon skills. She eventually begins doing side work out of her apartment for body modification club members. I won't give anything else away, but she was hurting for cash and it was either the titty club or start doing illegal surgeries. The film gets quite interesting with the seedy teacher from school and his med school parties and roofies and rape drugs. Let's just say, throughout her life experiences Mary becomes a bit demented. Her profession combined with everyone that does her wrong in this film, makes for an intense film. This is nowhere near perfect and the ending (imho) could have been a lot better. That being said, this is worth the $9.99 blu-ray release that is going on right now...or perhaps just a late night viewing sometime. Horror fans...this is a solid 7/10. I never did see 'Dead Hooker In A Trunk', but I doubt it's better than American Mary.

Iron Doors (2010)

Interesting little indie film.

[7/10 · 5 July 2013]

I went into 'Iron Doors' with no expectations whatsoever. Aside from reading a blip on a review site about how this film was actually sort of interesting. I tend to agree with at least half of the reviews on the site, so I figured I would give it a go. I'm also a sucker for Cube, and it sounded like it would be in the same realm.

You all know the story, so I'm not going to repeat it or spoil it. Iron Doors, is about a dude stuck in a room with an iron door. This turns into multiple rooms with iron doors and the main character trying to figure out how to get the heck out of dodge.

He goes through everything I expected he would go through *aka: drinking urine, eating maggots, etc*. You do what you got to do to survive. This escalates to him finding a key in a lamp, to opening a locker, to finding a blowtorch and a chisel. He eventually gets into another room (by chiseling his way through a wall)and meets an African American lady who speaks German or Zimbabwe or such. I eventually got the point though...the director is trying to tell us something morally. These two characters eventually get together based off of survival. It doesn't matter if they are black/white...speak English or another language...they have a connection now.

They both recognize it and end up having sex as the main character is basically on his death bed. Then...after she hydrates him with her tears..they figure out a trick about the iron doors, finally...and they keep moving through more rooms. I don't want to go past the explanation of the actual plot here, but there is an ending. It was foreshadowed...and it actually makes sense if you think about it. I was pretty much expecting it and that's why the rating got dragged down to a 7. I'm much more kind to indie films because they are usually doing something different. I don't want to watch Fast & the Furious 64, and if you are the same as me, you will enjoy this treat. Just don't go expecting The Prestige, and you will come out pleasantly surprised.

The Honeymooners (2005)

Bewitched, it wasn't all that bad.

[6/10 · 30 November 2005]

This movie is nowhere near a great film or even a good film, but it was at the very least...an average one. I mean, I laughed quite a few times, mostly because of Mike Epps. But my main point here is, I have seen at least a dozen 'hollywood' films worse than this one, just this year (Bewitched comes to mind, so does Sahara and Deuce Bigalow 2). So, why does Bewitched have a 5.1 average, when it is clearly a worse film than this one? Cedric steps it up a bit in this movie, at least compared to Johnson Family Vacation and Be Cool, but that step was just a baby step.

Anyhow, this movie is worth renting and there are a few hilarious scenes from John Leguizamo that made me remember who the heck he was again. If you do not want to think and just enjoy a flick with some friends, this is not the worst choice you could make.

Rating: C+