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No Strings Attached (2011)
This was an abysmal flick with absolutely no redeeming qualities. For one, only one night stands truly qualify as "no strings attached" sexual encounters. And the title alone is a pathetic, backdated 1970's pick up line anyway. Take a look at the survivors of that hedonistic decade for a reality check. The only thing movies like this do is to encourage young people to be promiscuous and to have completely unrealistic concepts about sex and relationships. If you live your life according to this movie's philosophy I guarantee you'll wind up miserable and your life won't have a "fairy tale" ending. Life is only like this for half a second. The rest of it ain't gonna be nothing like this. Typical Hollywood mind-rot.
Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)
Doggie-doo from Satan's sphincter
This is about as bad as it gets folks. I usually won't bother reviewing a film I only got ten minutes into and this is no exception. This is not a review but a fervent prayer. The folks at HM had long since sold out years before this 'flick' was aborted out of their greasy grimy orifices, but to see so much negativity in so short a period of time was almost heroically criminal. The spirit of the original HM was spit, shat, vomited and peed on so much in the first 10 minutes, I had to run, nay fly to my laptopper to vent my spleen. Thank goodness for IMDb, and thank the Cosmos for Karma. The perpetrators of this atrocity will pay for their crime by being forced to watch this monstrosity for years and years or at least until they hunt down and burn/erase every copy of this insult to the concept of eyes. This one was such a letdown, even the Great Space-Demon demanded his money back, and he's the one who commissioned it! :)
NY vs Chi pie--Bummer!
What a load! This was nothing more than an advertising campaign for half a dozen hand-picked pizza places in Chi and NY. And the fact that the show made no mention of Chicago's great and unique thin-crust pizza? Most people I know from Chi,including myself rarely eat deep-dish pizza yet that's all they seem to think Chicagoans eat!!-
If the only pizza you could get in Chicago was deep dish, I'd move to NYC--I'm not kidding. NYC is the King of pizza towns, I know that, but the best thin crust pizza in Chi would have done a lot better in those fireman competitions, no doubt about it!! I'd like to see this done again and done right.
Short Cuts (1993)
This film really has gotten better with age- I saw it when it came out and even at 26 with one CA trip under my belt, I really wasn't mature enough to understand it. I felt like a lid had been opened up on a terrible nightmare(L.A.)and was better off unopened. Also, I thought it was kinda pathetic Huey Lewis agreed to whip out "lil' Huey" on screen-- showed how far he'd fallen. These sentiments haven't changed, but 15 years later I can really appreciate the subtle social and human commentary as well as the fascinating weave of stories and characters Shortcuts has to offer. Easily Altman's masterpiece and some of the best work from many of the illustrious cast. This film stands pretty much alone--Only thing it really reminds me of is Maupin's 'Tales of the City'. All in all Shortcuts still resonates and the helicopter-armada/earthquake elements give it that end-times feel which makes this movie somewhat eerily prophetic at times.
Good Lord was this bad! I came across an '85 VHS copy in the box for a buck so it has some collectors value -but the title says it all--billed as "the ultimate rock and roll trip" -which we can assume must naturally end in a "Bummer"--this piece of dreck wasn't lacking in sound or picture quality like a lot of these 70's soft porn one-shots--but nothing else is even worth mentioning--not even for camp value. The blond was hot in the strip club scene but I honestly can't say I made it much farther..just too, god awful BAD! I guess you gotta be really, really drunk or worse to make it through something like this. Makes you wonder what the winners we're like who actually stayed all the way through this thing at the Drive-in or on Times Square went it was released. And the music--yikes! Too terrible to describe. All in all, the most you can say is that "Bummer" is a movie that truly, truly lives up to it's title.
The Joe Piscopo Special (1984)
Good stuff from an underrated performer..
The Joe Piscopo Video was a solid piece of work when it first came out and upon re watching it I'd have to say that despite it's being dated, Joe's comic sensibilities are right on. The video moves at a relaxed pace but still delivers the laughs--Joe's impressions of then-current celebrities are pretty much spot-on and his Sinatra has never truly been equaled- must be an Italian thing. The Night of the Living Dead-Jerry's in his "Thriller" spoof is over the top and had me in stitches. The scenes with he and Eddie Murphy we're pretty cool--you could feel a real friendship there. All in all It's too bad Joe moved away from comedy and took to lifting weights and making beer commercials. He was a better comic than that.
La tragedia de Macario (2005)
Tragic and Moving Tale..
This is a moving,tender film about the hardship and ultimate tragedy of a poor out of work Mexican laborer putting all his eggs in one basket and ultimately losing in his attempt to cross the border to the US to find work. The fact that this was based on a true story makes this all the more poignant--and the film does an effective job of putting a simple human face on the stereotype of the illegal immigrant. Tragedia De Macario addresses the state of oppression that drives people of the land in all parts of the world to flee their desperate conditions and try to make a stab at it somewhere better. The love Macario and his wife, Regina feel for one another is what really drives this film and the visitation of the Virgin Mother in the church and in the train is what ties the whole movie together. I was touched by this moving, sad and all to true tale of hardship and struggle. I would recommend it to anyone seeking a better understanding of the realities of this world.
Aloha, Bobby and Rose (1975)
Dark Clouds in LAs Golden Age
I caught the last 10-15 minutes of this movie on its network premiere back in 77--- its haunted me all this time, now the DVD is out and I enjoyed it on a number of different levels--This is one of those heart- string pullers that does a great job of encapsulating the mid-70s LA car-youth culture and all those now scarce, classic neon signs! The plot and character development are transparent which gives the whole thing a strange, ethereal vibe heightened by the then hip rock and roll soundtrack. Its almost one long Elton John video in a way. Bobby and Rose are sensitively played, and if the acting and dialog aren't always the best well so what, the actors have heart and are good to look at and don't disturb the zen experience a movie like this can bring about. Mid 70s LA is ancient history and "Aloha, Bobby and Rose" serves as a surprisingly good time capsule for that era. The couple are doomed from the start and this film is depressing for the most part. A lot like "Midnight Cowboy" in many respects, tho not as good. Still AB@R is a cult classic and I think a lot of young folks would enjoy it.
Solid film--Timely theme
I enjoyed Gibson's, "Apocalypo" on a purely visceral level, which is the way I prefer to experience movies on the big screen. The wonderful faces and natural acting talent of the cast we're worth the price of admission alone and the cinematography and scenery we're uniformly breathtaking. I think the historical and astrological inaccuracies to be forgivable as artistic license, though just barely. That being said, I had no real problems with this movie, I think there was an aspect of Meso-American civilization that was accurately depicted in this film--indeed the bad vibes still exist at many of the ancient sites alluded to in the film--human sacrifice was practiced in the extreme and the priest class of some of those pre-Columbian civilizations had descended into decadence much like in other ancient cultures, Rome, Egypt, etc. To this day, Cortez is both dually remembered as both a killer and a liberator. I think Gibson's film makes for both interesting and controversial viewing--something we need in this age of push-button murderers and evil, decadent rulers who wear thousand-dollar suits instead of feathers and demon masks, but practice the same deceptions and atrocities as of old -except on an exponentially larger playing field. This was the main message of this movie as far as I'm concerned. Good work, Mel.
Planetary Traveler (1997)
cool cosmic journey
i've never seen"the mind's eye"(producer jan nickman's previous claim to fame) but i quite enjoyed "planetary traveler"-- for a digital newbie like myself the dated quality of the graphics and computer animation wasn't that big an issue. the colors and textures of p.t. we're fine, the worlds themselves quite pleasing--some practically visionary--reminded me of those airbrushed alien worlds and starship paintings of the late 70's-early 80's era.....the music was alright, not mind blowing but it did the trick--overall the DVD played like your typical in-house planetarium offering with a more imaginative theme. i'd love to see something truly spacey and mind blowing done in this same vein using current software and hardware capabilities as well as incorporating a more updated musical and visual aesthetic. that said i found planetary travelers to be exciting and inspiring on both an artistic and cosmic level.