Reviews written by registered user
fasulo

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17 reviews in total 
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5 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Temple of the Empty Skulls, 25 June 2011
1/10

Not just Allan Quatermain, but anyone who would watch this movie has to be out of their skull. This was such a terrible movie that I wanted to walk out of the theater and go home. The problem was I was already home, watching it on a DVD.

There were so many things wrong with this movie that it would be impossible to list them all, but I'll give you a few examples.

How about going off for a hiking expedition without taking any supplies, not even water or food. They didn't even carry canteens. All the bad guy, who was after them, had was a rifle and pistol and the clothes on his back - but no hat. I thought it got hot in Africa? No one was sweating. I know this because the leading lady's heavy eye makeup never ran.

How can the bad guy take out two crew members of a moving train with two shots but never hit Quatermain even when Quatermain is standing still or is only a few yards away. This happens several times in the movie.

And where did the earthquake come from? Just thrown in for good measure, was it? And when was the last time you explored a dark cavern without any lights? If Quartermain took the job to get the tuition money for his son and then gave it to his housekeeper to mail, what happened to the envelope when the housekeeper went on the trip with him.

At least they didn't have any trouble finding the unknown land where King Solomon's mines were, as a wide dirt road had been created for them to follow. The bad guy had a truck, so why did Quatermain and his party have to walk on the road? Since his house is in the country, you would think he would have a vehicle too.

I have watched many movies where the actors had to walk to get where they were going. I'm surprised that Quatermain's party ever got anywhere. I have never seen people move this slow. I walk faster inside my own house.

And what was that terrible flying swarm? Bloodsucking locusts? Day flying bats? Enraged hummingbirds? Would have been nice to know.

I could go on, but why? So I'll sum it up.

No plot. No character development. No one with any acting ability. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a -3.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Talk about being replaced by a back up, 21 September 2006
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

In this movie, Gene Autry is a stunt man for Tom Ford, and then does a stand-in for Ford at a Texas Centennial celebration when Ford goes on a fishing trip. At the end of the movie Gene is the star and Tom Ford is now his stunt man.

But look! When the Sons of the Pioneers do their singing part in the back of the wagon, who is the guy singing, right front? Why, it's Leonard Slye, one of the original members of the Sons of the Pioneers.

The movie was filmed in 1936. Five years later, when Gene Autry left the studio to serve in World War II, the studio needed another singing cowboy and Leonard Slye was chosen. Of course, the studio had to change his name, so Leonard became Roy Rogers.

3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Strippers have rights too!, 16 September 2006
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

How come no one seems to worry when Ruby doesn't come back from her walk? OK, so she is a stripper, but strippers are people too! For God's sakes, I mean all the men went out on a search mission when Diablo, the burro, turned up missing, :-)

And if they are running out of food, why didn't they butcher Diablo? After all, it was dead. And they could just pretend it was "deviled ham." Or would that have offended the SPCA?

And what evolutionary advantage do the mutants gain by having useless small "arms" growing out of their shoulders. Or was that just a fashion statement?

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Another goof and more questions, 31 August 2006
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

When Dr. Stevens is shot at with a spear gun while walking the beach, he recovers the spear with a handkerchief to preserve any fingerprints. Later he gives the spear to the so-called special agent from Washington, who also makes a big deal about handling the spear with a handkerchief, but then places his other bare hand on the spear also.

And why does the professor's house have the main bathroom opening up from the living room? And where is the professor's daughter's room since she seems to always dress in the living room?

And all the people who use the row boat must have been on the crew team in college as shots of them rowing show them doing it at top speed.

And why did the college student and his girlfriend go scuba diving at night? All the other scenes shown during their trip out to the spot where the creature lives show night scenes.

And if Dr Stevens has his own scuba gear that he used before he met the professor, why did he later use some other scuba gear from the college that someone could slip poison pills into?

And do professors' daughters really leave the front door unlocked when they take a shower? Why didn't I know this when I went to college? And why did she let some guy she just met on the beach place both his hands on her arms to hold her down with no sign of protest on her part?

And if Dr. Stevens has two books published why does he just take the professor's daughter out for a walk on the beach for the evening? Is this guy too cheap to even take her to dinner? Or, judging from my observations above, maybe he didn't want to be seen at a respectable restaurant with a girl like this.

God, I love movies like this with loose ends like these as they help you ignore the plot, which often even isn't there.

2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Who really said that?, 29 August 2006
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The quote uttered by Captain Walker in the film,

"The new kids that come up, that's what gets you. The new ones, some of them have just got a little fuzz on their faces. They don't know what its all about. Scared to death. You know, Ernie, I know it ain't my fault that they get killed, but it makes me feel like a murderer. I hate to look at 'em, the new kids."

was based on something told to Ernie Pyle by Sergeant Buck Eversole of the 34th Infantry Division, as reported in a biography of Ernie Pyle in the book "Ernie's War: The Best of Ernie Pyle's World War II Dispatches."

BTW: the story of "Captain Walker" as show in the movie was essentially true, even about how his men felt about his death, but the real captain was named Henry Waskow.

Rio Grande (1950)
5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
This movie was filmed where?, 23 August 2006
10/10

Most everyone else praises this film and I can't help but agree with them.

However, some of the comments state that this film was made in Monument Valley. This is incorrect. The film actually was made in the Moab, Utah area.

I once backpacked down into the canyonlands south of Moab and the scenery is fantastic. This is also a great microbrewery in Moab if you are ever in that town.

Another thought, a very minor one for historical accuracy, at the end of this film General Phil Sheridan gives permission for the band to play Dixie. I doubt that the real Sheridan would have done this as he hated the Confederates as much as Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson hated Yankees. At Appomattox, Sheridan bitterly protested the truce before Lee's surrender. He wanted to take the Army of the Potomac and wipe out the last of the Army of Northern Virginia. Thank God, General Grant knew better.

2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Take two aspirin before watching, 12 June 2006
1/10

There are Bad sci-fi films, there are Rotten sci-fi films, there are even the Worse sci-fi films. However, this film is in the rock-bottom Bad, Rotten and Worst category. The music and the special effects (nothing more than weird, spiraling colors) give you a headache, and the costume designer committed suicide after completing the crew's uniforms. Humans haven't worn hats like that since the 11th century.

But the film has one saving grace. This takes place in two ridiculous scenes where the commanders back on Earth try to brief the press, all of whom act like they are suppose to portray air-headed journalists. With reporters like these assigned to a BIG STORY, only God knows who is handling national local news. I shudder to think, but then we see their like on TV every night.

The absolute best lines in the movie go to the two commanders who, after trying to convince the reporters that Earth is not in trouble but seeing the reporters rush to their communications devices to tell their editors that the end is near, say to each other:

First commander: "They didn't buy it." Second commander: "No way."

This film is so bad it makes David Bowie's The Man Who Fell To Earth look like a science fiction classic.a

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Histroy recreated or rewritten?, 11 June 2006
9/10

A great war movie if you ignore the fact that much of the story was rewritten for Hollywood.

I have the 2005 DVD version of this 1965 movie. This version include a movie trailer, and two short subjects, "History Recreated," and "The Filming of the Battle of the Bulge." One shows film shot of the cast during the filming and starts off by showing "actual" combat photography of the battle. Although I had not seen this movie for some time I immediately recognized some of the "combat photography" as just scenes from the film that were converted to black and white.

The other shows what must be British TV interviews with the director and Robert Shaw. The director, who was an American combat photographer in the Pacific during WW II, must have been hoping for a sizable British audience as he twice credited British Gen. Montgommary and the British army with coming in to destroy the German forces at the Battle of the Bulge after the American held them up. There were NO British forces involved in this battle, proving once again that for Hollywood profit is more desirable than truth.

I really enjoy this film despite its historical shortcomings, especially since I was able to buy it at a discount store with four other great WW II movies for a little less than $20.

Tigerland (2000)
5 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
America or Nazi Germany?, 10 June 2006
2/10

While some scenes of training were realistic, too many of them depicted military instructors as ex-Nazi types. Obviously, the people who wrote the screen play were either anti-military types or writing a film for that audience.

I am a Viet Nam vet and, even during this period, military instructors who behaved in the manner some of these did would probably still be serving time in military prison.

And I really loved the scene where the "hero" and his buddy (both privates) are sitting down in the Captain's office, smoking cigarettes and talking and cussing with the Captain as if he were their buddy. This sort of thing never happened in training or in a formal situation, as was the purpose for the scene.

At the end I asked myself, "What was this film about?" as it seemed to wander around all over the place with no focus except "I hate all authority." Thank God I got it from the library and did not pay to rent it.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Hollywood History - what did you expect?, 2 February 2006
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The movie is loosely based on the history of the Texas Rangers, an outstanding law enforcement agency - back then and now.

Folks, there are great Western movies, and there are oaters. This is an oater, so forget realism and enjoy it.

I really liked the wholesale massacre scenes, something that was very rare in the West. Hey, you kill all the people today, who do you rob next week?

And they had some eastern law student - now a Texas Ranger - finally kill King Fisher. Believe it or not, but King Fisher eventually gave up his life of crime (he was worn out by all his trials - not the first person to be overwhelmed by the legal system) and became a well respected sheriff. But he did finally die in a shootout - in a theater of all places.


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