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maroonmachine95
Reviews
Feardotcom (2002)
In a world of Yin and Yang, this counter balances Citizen Kane...
It's hard to put a finger on reviewing bad movies sometimes. On one hand you have the comically bad, like Plan 9 from Outer Space or anything ever starring Ice Cube. On another you have the tragically bad; movies that had a chance but were undermined by something out of their control, usually budget, like Time Chasers to a degree. Then you have the plane old bad, like this offering. This is that movie where after you see the trailer you already know it's going to be awful. It has no redeeming features. Zero. It "stars" that annoying vampire guy from Blade and that chick that DeNiro totally should've hooked up with from Ronin. The plot itself is basically that of The Ring, except the driving plot point is "don't go to that website" instead of "don't watch that movie". The picture seems to be filmed in "Night-time-o-vision" as each scene tries to outdo the previous in being more like it was seen through the eyes of a glaucoma victim. The vampire and the chick from Ronin muddle around stumbling onto "clues" that include an incomprehensible speech from a man apparently living under a table in a bar, being stalked by a child's toy novelty ball, and the most insincere mother of a murdered woman ever. Spliced into the intense investigation are awkward scenes of some doctor brutally torturing attractive, young blondes who he kidnaps with the littlest of effort. Some people die confusing deaths, our heroes shockingly view the website Feardotcom.com which apparently will cause their untimely deaths in 48 hours since I guess 7 days was already, and the movie boils over to it's heart-stopping climax inside the doctor's surprisingly well furnished torture pad/abandoned water tower. I won't ruin the ending lest you won't have to sit through movie like I did, but I'll say this: no, I have no idea what the phone call means either. If you're considering viewing this work, I would recommend something of better quality, perhaps Space Truckers or Undercover Brother.