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I'm sure some people reading this will think "oh she's stupid" or "she didn't get it" but Dogtooth is a dull piece of rubbish. Nothing happens. That's no exaggeration. NOTHING HAPPENS. Just when it looks like things might get interesting the film ends and I sat there feeling cheated and thinking I might have been better off spending my time watching paint dry instead of this film. Everything about the film is dull - the plot, the characters, the dialogue. Most of the time when I see a film I don't like, I can still pick out one or two redeeming features but I genuinely cannot understand why anyone would like this film let alone watch it more than once. And as for it being called dark, very disturbing, intense - really? There was one part I was mildly disturbed by then I went back to feeling bored again. I'm guessing I was supposed to care about the children but I didn't. The only interesting thing about this film is the fact that the female characters are always instantly ready for sex with absolutely no foreplay and don't seem to be in any pain during it even the girl who I'm guessing was still a virgin. That's the only thing about the film that has stayed with me which is not good. Seriously I would not recommend this film to anyone except as a possible insomnia cure.
The Collingswood Story (2002)
I first read about The Collingswood Story when reading a review about another movie I was interested in. The reviewer mentioned this movie so I read up about it and ordered the DVD. I've just finished watching it for the first time and I have goosebumps! This is a great film. First of all if you like movies with high body counts, lots of special effects, lots of gore and a quick pace this movie is NOT for you. I like those kinds of horror movies but I find horror films like this - slow paced, not giving everything away, leaving things to the imagination - far more effective and scary. The way the film is shot through the webcams is a little strange at first but you soon get used to it. The acting is excellent, the characters are likable and even though not much happens during the first hour of the film I never once found it boring. If anything I would have liked more of a build up. The story is interesting and that toy is so creepy (if you've seen it you know what I mean!). The last part of the film while Rebecca is in the attic is very intense and what happens to John made me go cold. The only reasons I haven't given 10 out of 10 is because the sound quality isn't great. I had to have the volume right up at parts so I could hear although this maybe a fault of the DVD. Also even though I like open ended films I did find the ending a little too ambiguous and it would have been nice to have Rebecca's fate and motivations made a bit clearer. But I think a huge well done is in order to everyone involved and if you like films like The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity I highly recommend this. It just goes to show if you have talent you don't need a huge budget and big star names, you can make a great film with what you have. Personally I wish more horror movies were like this and not all remakes and full of CGI gore and big breasted bimbos. I will gladly be keeping The Collingswood Story and adding it to my collection.
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Scariest movie of the decade - yeah right.
I really can't understand why this movie is getting so much praise when it is average at best. Yes it's nice to see Sam Raimi returning to the horror genre but watching this just reminded me of how brilliant the Evil Dead is. First of all Drag Me To Hell is not scary. Whoever is calling it the scariest movie of the decade obviously doesn't watch a lot of horror films. There is not one moment that made me jump or had me on the edge of my seat and I can't imagine anyone being scared of it unless you are frightened by lots of CGI effects. I'm not a big fan of CGI but when used in the right way it can look great. Unfortunately in this movie it is very overdone. To be honest the emotion I felt throughout most of the film was boredom. A lot of stuff does happen in a short space of time but none of it is really that interesting and a lot of it involves the heroine having hallucinations or dreaming. There is no blood or gore. Of course you don't need gore to make a good horror film but sometimes a decent gore effect or death scene can elevate a movie and grab your interest but we don't get that here. We get a few moments which some people would probably find gross but it takes a bit more than someone's eyeballs flying out of their head using bad CGI to get me feeling sick I'm afraid. So are there any good points? Well the acting is OK although the characters are unsympathetic and I liked the ending. The movie gets an extra point for the part where they are trying to summon the Lamia and it possesses a goat. The goat's face then turns evil (using CGI of course) and it starts talking. I nearly fell off my seat with laughter and it made sitting through the rest of the film worth it. In fact I liked that part so much I went back and watched it a couple more times! But sadly for me that was the only decent part in the entire film. I realise I am going to sound like a horror movie snob now and I apologise for that but Drag Me To Hell is a horror film for people who don't really like horror. It's not scary, it's not gruesome, it's not suspenseful and aside from the goat has no memorable moments. But hey I seem to be in the minority so by all means give it a watch but I wouldn't waste my time seeing it again.
The Devil's Chair (2007)
Skip to the end
I was pretty disappointed with this one. The story sounded interesting but after a poor beginning with ridiculous editing and 2 characters I couldn't really care less about I thought about switching it off. I stuck with it to the surprisingly good ending but I certainly wouldn't bother watching it again. I know horror movies are supposed to be far fetched and most of the time it is easy to forget how silly the plots can be but I couldn't do that with The Devil's Chair. I just couldn't believe that a man declared criminally insane and charged with murdering his girlfriend would be let out after just 4 years for a field trip back to the place where the murder is committed. And that 4 other people would voluntarily go with him. Oh and this place seems to be in the middle of nowhere. The acting is decent enough (although I did get distracted sometimes by the fact that the actor playing Nick resembles a potato). The special effects aren't bad either but the pacing is so slow. I really struggled to sit through the first hour. As well as it being boring in places, I found the narration really irritating. Especially when the picture would suddenly freeze and Nick would provide some comment. Were these supposed to be funny? Because they weren't. The only reason I rated it as high as 4/10 was because of the ending. The twist at the ending is predictable but that doesn't stop it being violent, gruesome and disturbing - exactly as horror should be. It was the only part of the movie that provoked a feeling in me other than boredom or irritation. It was pretty uncomfortable to sit through and watch and was extremely well done. But is it worth watching the movie just for the last 15 minutes? Personally I don't think so. If you are into blood and gore the movie delivers on that front but unfortunately not really on any other.
Timber Falls (2007)
This is one of the worst horror movies i have ever seen. Where do i start? First of all the 2 main characters. I know horror movie characters are supposed to be stupid but they were something else. They take a completely different route to the ones the ranger has advised, they start having sex in broad daylight out in the middle of nowhere with no idea of who is around then after their run in with the hunters Sheryl makes her boyfriend get rid of the bullets for the only weapon they have! Three men with guns have just seen you half naked and menaced you so you make yourself defenceless. Good idea! Then there are the baddies. The typical religious nutters who seem to keep cropping up in horror movies. They aren't in the least bit scary and every time one of them started spouting off i had to fast forward the DVD. I won't say the reason why they are kidnapping couples but it is beyond ridiculous. I think my reaction was "you are joking aren't you?" when it was revealed. Most of the film is dull although it does pick up in the last half hour. There is a bit of action and gore but nothing exciting. The last "twist" in the film is stupid and unnecessary. I knew what was going to happen but i was hoping they wouldn't do it because the film would actually have been better without that final moment. The acting is fairly good for a horror movie and the effects are well done but that's all the positive things i can say about it. I rolled my eyes so much during the film they hurt and i definitely wouldn't recommend it. I understand they were trying to do something different other than the usual "cannibals in the woods" but it just didn't work. I didn't care and i just found it a frustrating and boring watch.
Five Across the Eyes (2006)
Not great but not that terrible
I read a lot of negative reviews about this film and before watching it my expectations couldn't have been any lower. That might be why i liked it more than i thought i would. First of all the negative stuff. The sound is pretty bad. I watched with the subtitles on because sometimes it's not clear what is being said. Although a lot of the dialogue is poor so it doesn't matter much anyway. The girls come out with some awful lines but then they are teenage girls and some (not all) do talk complete rubbish. None of the characters are sympathetic and they kept changing personalities. After their first run in with the psycho one of them is crying as they drive off. She stops then a few minutes later starts yelling at her friend when she starts getting upset! The acting isn't wonderful and most of it is yelling and crying. The amount of screaming didn't bother me but i can see why it would get on peoples nerves.
On the plus side the picture quality was better than i expected. I don't mind low budget films made on hand-held cameras and this was similar quality to The Blair Witch Project. Most of the time it was clear what was going on and i've certainly seen a lot worse. The pace doesn't let up for the entire movie and i certainly couldn't accuse it of being boring. A lot of the violence takes place off camera however this isn't a pleasant film. You don't need to see what happens to the girls in great detail for it to have an effect. I like to think of myself as a hardcore horror fan but there were a couple of moments which had me wincing. The bits that they do show are done well enough.
I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who doesn't like nasty films or who only like to watch high budget stuff. But for those who are willing to give a film a chance and don't care how much money was spent on it i would say give it a go. You might be surprised, i know i was.
Not as bad as i expected it to be
I put off seeing this film for a long time because i think the original Halloween is fantastic. However the other night there was nothing to watch on TV (again) and i was in the mood for horror so i watched it. And i enjoyed it. It was nowhere near as good as Carpenter's version of course but i've seen a lot worse. One of the things that put me off from seeing the movie was knowing there was a back story for Michael Myers. I didn't agree with it at first but i ended up thinking it was a good idea. It was the best part of the film and interesting to watch .I noticed that Sherri Zombie has been criticised in other comments for her acting but i thought she was fine. None of the acting is Oscar worthy but it's adequate enough and it was good to see familiar faces such as Brad Dourif pop up. The teenage characters aren't as irritating as in other films and Laurie is still a likable character. Michael Myers resembles a heavy metal rocker in places but he's more powerful. The film is much more gruesome than the original but none of it is that bad and it's all really well done. It's not scary and it's predictable when it comes to which characters will be killed off. There's also a really cheesy moment i could have done without-young Michael sitting outside his house after his sister has refused to take him trick or treating while Love Hurts plays but none of it's flaws would stop me watching it again. And it's much better than The Devil's rejects or the awful House of 1000 Corpses.
Diary of the Dead (2007)
My least favourite of the series
I never thought i would say this about a Romero zombie film but i was really disappointed by this one and in my opinion it's the worst one of the series. The zombie attacks are few and far between and when they do happen they're over so quickly that there's no time for any anticipation or fear to build up. There's hardly any gore. Anybody wanting lots of scenes of people being eaten by zombies had better stay away from this one. The thing that irritated me most and it's probably why i wouldn't bother watching the film again is the fact that when a character is being attacked hardly any of the group goes to help. They all either stand there or are too obsessed with filming it on their camcorders. OK i know it's only a film but if a friend of mine was being attacked by one of the living dead i would drop the camera and go and HELP. The female lead Deb was a stroppy cow who needed a good slap and Jason was a waste of space. I kept hoping somebody would smash the camera over his head and put him out of his misery. None of the characters were likable and the only interesting ones, for example Samuel, aren't in the movie long enough. I just didn't care what happened to any of them and i wasn't interested in what any of them had to say. That plus the fact that there is hardly any action meant that i found the film dull. It's well made but i wouldn't recommend it.
Dead Clowns (2004)
I liked the story......
I knew this movie was low budget and i wasn't expecting a masterpiece but this was still a letdown. The picture was awful, it looked so bad in parts it actually hurt my eyes. The sound was pretty bad in places too but that didn't seem to matter as the entire story was explained to the audience in the first 15 minutes. Where were the characters? I wasn't expecting a really detailed background for each character but most of them weren't even given names. One of them is known in the credits as the tormented woman. Why was she tormented? We're never told. All she did was wander around her house. The acting was passable except for when it came to the attack scenes. There was no reaction from any of the actors. They just stood and stared as if seeing a zombie clown in your kitchen is the most natural thing in the world. If the actors don't act scared or even bothered then the audience won't be either. It's a shame because i liked the story, the clowns and effects were fine and the movie does have something about it that kept me watching. If it had better actors and a bigger budget this could have been very decent but as it is i wouldn't recommend it. I've watched a lot of horror films and while this wasn't the worst in terms of plot and what happens, it's the most poorly shot film that i've ever seen.
The Descent (2005)
As a horror movie fan, i thought why not write my first review about a film from my favourite genre? I saw The Descent at the cinema last night. I went to see it because not only is it a horror film, it's made by the same guy who gave us the fantastic Dog Soldiers. Unfortunately i didn't find it to be anywhere near as good as Dog Soldiers is. One of the main problems is the characters. The acting is fine but i didn't like any of the characters and the main one, Sarah, really wore on my nerves. I spent the entire film hoping she would get killed off. The first half of the film until the monsters show up did get slightly boring and when the monsters did make their appearance, they weren't really that scary. They were well done but reminded me of Gollum from the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. In fact the film isn't really that scary at all. There are the usual fake scares- bats flying out of a cave, a character turning around to find another character right behind them etc and its all things we've seen before. Having said that there are a couple of very good moments involving an infrared camcorder and a case of mistaken identity between two of the characters which brought the film up in my estimation. There is some gore which is well done. One thing that is extremely effective is the setting. Being claustrophobic i felt uncomfortable on more than one occasion watching the girls crawl through tiny tunnels that could collapse at any moment and on leaving the cinema i genuinely felt as if i had been down in the caves with these characters. However despite the great setting, good effects and a couple of decent moments, i still found this movie to be a disappointment. I can't really say exactly why and i wouldn't discourage others from seeing it as you may get far more out of it than i did. I don't think its a bad film, i just didn't find it to be that great. A case where i liked the trailer more than the film.