Reviews

31 Reviews
Sort by:
Red Baron (1981 Video Game)
8/10
Decent and fun vector flight sim
6 November 2013
The object is very simple, and so is gameplay; shoot down as many enemies before they take you down. You fly a WW1 biplane from a 1st person view, and engage in dogfights; which are the main staple of the action. There are also some zeppelins and town bases with turrets within mountains; that have to be evaded; that alternate and appear from time to time. Those can be shot too, and eventually also shoot back some type of rhomboid missiles later on, as difficulty progresses. Ammo is unlimited; however you cannot fire continuously, as your gun will overheat and jam. Aiming and controlling the aircraft with precision is a little difficult, but I believe that was intentional. As expected, the most difficult part was evading an enemy from behind. Graphics are good, and all that much considering that they're vectorial. The 3D perspective is very well rendered and believable too. The propeller could've used a better illusory rotational factor, though. Sound FX are OK, but the crashing sound could've been more dramatic. Nevertheless; Red Baron is a surprisingly good action arcade shooter game, although not very strong in realism (nowadays); but not that it matters much, of course.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Sky Destroyer (1985 Video Game)
7/10
An improved rasterized Japanese Red Baron, of sorts...
6 November 2013
I like this game too because it also compares well to Red Baron, although they're obv not made by the same company. The major difference being that this is a third person view flight sim, and with a WW2 jap plane instead. You fight waves of other planes, and some boats and subs during different times of the day and scenarios; although mainly the sea and a few islands. Sky Destroyer is a basic air to air and to ground (level; ie, technically to sea) combat shooter game. It could be consider a precursor to the similarly quasi 3D (2.5) latters AfterBurner (good), Flight Of The Intruder (RTFM bad), and Top Gun (fun). Although obv not as good as Aces: Iron Eagle III (AKA Ultimate Air Combat, which is the best of the lot:) I also liked how you can choose to focus more flying in the air if you're more comfortable with, as it's slightly easier; instead of both at the same time. Beware of the big multi engine bombers though! They'll still fire at you from above. Gameplay is very simple, so are the graphics, music and sound FX. The screen warps horizontally if you move too much to the left or the right. And there's an altitude limit, although not stated in measurable units. Also if you get too low, you'll sink into the ocean. Use of a better perspective could've been better; specially in the air. Eg, just by adding a few clouds.

Again, compared to RB this actually is indeed somewhat better in a lot of aspects; especially in that firing also has been improved, because you can clearly see the "bullets". And there's a secondary torpedo-bomb attack that works exclusively on sea targets too. Almost needless to say, I like the integrated autofire. What I didn't like is that you go down with only one hit, sadly. Yet despite the "improvements"; for some unknown reason, SD still comes slightly lower than RB overall in the fun factor though, unfortunately. So this is not a complex game by any accounts, but it was colorful and original to the NES; at the time, nevertheless. It was also nice to finally stick it to US for a change, and as an added bonus.:)
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Wired (1989)
9/10
Good enough biopic, underrated, unappreciated, unfairly stomped and sadly mistreated; even to this day...
31 October 2013
First, I saw this many years ago on late night TV. Even if I wanted to see it on theaters I could've not, since I remember that there was a "controversy" of sort generated by "bromantic" companion Ayrkoyd, (real) brother James, and the rest of the SNL camp. They used their Hollywood clout to boycott the film, virtually blocking the release and stalling the careers of everybody involved. At the very least, they (alongside the lib media) badmouthed the movie on every available chance. And second, this is not a very good movie, overall. It's not that enjoyable; nor on a technical viewpoint, particularly well made. It's low budget, and it looks like the exploitative TV movie of the week. Being in that inferior medium notwithstanding; it comes as merely mediocre, at best. I guess Oliver Stone wasn't available at the time (because of The Doors film) As a matter of fact and in retrospect, I'd have found a movie about the moronic, narrow minded, self righteous indignation of said movie-making "elite" more interesting than this. Someone should make a docudrama about it; I mean, really!

So why did I gave it such a high rating? Also for two primary reasons. First and foremost, because the first prev mentioned explanatory reason. The filmmakers tried something new and bold, and it just didn't pan out that well. I'll still grant them extra credits for the attempt itself. Bias can be a good compensatory measure; and I decided to used a lot of it in here. As there clearly has been done a grave injustice. I mean; in what kind of sick, demented world is it OK trying to destroy good people that merely wanted to make a living at entertainment?! And the second reason, solely because Michael Chiklis performance; he's a very good actor and should've received a lot of awards. Or at least, a bunch of raving critics' reviews. He really captured how awful and lame John really was. He should've made it much earlier that he did; that's for sure. And that's just about the only salvageable quality on the movie itself. Because the plot is senseless and uncreative, script's unintentionally laughable, direction's weak and unfocused, and let's face it: John Belushi wasn't that interesting of a char to made an IRL movie about him in the first place. He was an unbearable, unfunny, unoriginal, talentless, two-bit, long forgotten, bad performer. Overrated and heralded like the greatest thing since the invention of french toast; by lo&behold, crazed fans and the very same people referenced in the first paragraph! &BTW, he was also an unlikeable SOB; drug abusing, or not...

He was a public figure; the producers didn't need anyone's permission, except for copyright reasons of course. His "creativity" came from the drugs; without them, he'd as average as the guy sitting next to you at the office. So he'd never have amounted to something significant, even if still alive today. I can count with one hand the people with real talent that came out of there that actually made it, and maintained it constantly (Bill Murray, Steve Martin & Mike Myers) And ironically the drug abuse and self-brought decadent downward spiral were the most interesting parts about the movie. That is if there were more than very little about them. Because after you see the film, you'll realize too that the issues generated by the "woman" of the relationship (&family) are virtually nonexistent. Everything that they said was an exaggerated lie. This movie it's not evil. It doesn't demonized him; it doesn't even portrayed him a such bad light, in the slightest. If any, it's the other way around. It's factual and truthful enough; given some material was indeed made up for dramatic effect, but that's always unavoidable. So they were the hypocritical ones throwing dirt at John's memory every time they uttered their mouth; albeit mostly indirectly; since why then try so hard to state the opposite..? Obv a movie is better than none, even a "bad" one. They just should've kept their mouths shut, or at least wait for it to actually come out, IMHO; but they're obv not very smart either. Even if there were issues, or "dark secrets", or whatever; *roll-eyes* (nowadays it's OK to be a lil'gay Dan); what would make and bring more honor to John's miserable and pathetic existence..? What's more important; keeping a false fantasy or telling what it is, ie the truth. The memory of John Belushi is almost as relevant as that of any other person that has passed away under the same circumstances. The only diff here is that he had some powerful "friends" to twist the history of what happened...

NB: The movie and the negative, tantrumish campaign sure have endured the test of time though. Because a lot of time has passed and I (and a lot of people here on IMDb) certainly haven't forgot about it. &BTW, the new Emile Hirsch ver news made me remember more vividly the whole affair. I hope they made a better effort, although obv is not really required; as in the bitter end there's already a def movie (this one), and John's life is as consequential as what he was; horse manure. If that was his best while being high; then I don't want to see (let alone known) him clear, at all! The sketches were supposed to be really awful; just like the original material. And if his "friends" really cared; he would still be around today. They didn't really care; as long as he was quasi-functional. Talk is cheap; "Just say no", or whatever. They obv cared more about themselves, their careers, and their images, etc; at least by their self-centered covering up actions. Even though he bought onto himself his own obsessive, self destructive demise. So if telling it like it is it's a sin, then there wouldn't and shouldn't be a movie about him; it'd an one-sided idolatric borefest otherwise, for sure...
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Jackie Chan (1990 Video Game)
10/10
Superb, little known fighting platform game for the NES
28 October 2013
Also known as Jackie Chan's Action Kung-Fu in the US. It reminded me of Dragon Ball; but in a good way. The protagonist looks remarkably similar to a young Goku; but not that childlike, and minus the tail of course. Ie, if there ever was supposed to be a game that wasn't a true fighting one about the classic anime; this should be it. It even has green power-balls! Some of the backgrounds on the first world stage are remarkably similar to the hills constantly featured there too. So he doesn't even look like Jackie Chan; perhaps a young one, a relative, or an apprentice at best. Since there's an old master that appears from time to time. Story is not that clear, except that you have to rescue someone dear to you that has been kidnapped by an evil magician/demon type of guy. It doesn't matter because this is an excuse for you to travel around the country and kick butt in this wonderful game. Graphics in general and animations in particular are cute, pretty, funny, bright, clearly detailed, and very nice overall. Color range is the only lacking thing; but that's obv due to the NES limited palette. Martial arts in general, kung-fu in particular, and Chinese mythos (demons, monsters and settings) seem to be the recurring themes of which the game took inspiration upon. Sound is catchy and good enough overall; and I still can't get out of my head the game over tune.:)

I also liked how they multiplexed the limited amount of buttons of the NES in order to create a large combination of attacks; that ranged from small and weak, to large and powerful, and everything in between. Here you don't have lives per se, but a limited set of "continues"; which boil down to virtually the same thing. In this particular case, six; if you total the one just lost; and is because your current, playable live is divided further into another six leveled restorable health bar that's always displayed in a status bar below the screen. I like that; fragmentation of health is way better that the overly difficult one touch mishap kind, IMHO. The other items shown on the statbar are your bonus and powerup levels. In the middle appear how many you have of the main special attack. This is the one true and only real powerup in the game. You get this by hitting on a "magical" green frog that leaps around throughout the levels. Usually is an advanced and special martial art kick or rolling technique mix; eg, a 360 degree spinning kick. To use them press up and the hit button at the same time. It doesn't make much sense to add punch ones; because for that you have the other indicator to the left. The rest of the bar is dedicated to a small five ball count; this is the normal power punch attack. To activate it just keep on pressing hit for a while to charge, and then release. It is also a range one; ie, you don't have to be in near direct contact with the enemy for it to work. I'm assuming also it could be considered some kind of chi ball attack released with the hand. The green balls dropped by "defeated" (dead) enemies warps at fifty; and you seem to be restored in both health and common power attacks (the small balls that tops at five). Don't know what else does though, but a ring sounds when it happens. No other noticeable indicator appears, since I assumed it was also a bonus life count; like the coins in Super Mario Bros. That would've been more usable, I think. Because the frog given life restoring bowl only restores two bars and it's too inconsistent; ie, sometimes you get it when you don't need it, and sometimes you don't get when you need it the most. But the most annoying thing is that when you die you lose count of your hard earned green balls. The only and most notable thing missing is the always-on score indicator. I know a game designed like this doesn't actually required it; but then again, why bother to keep an actual hidden bonus score then. I realize that the hidden areas serve as training grounds for jumping and attacking, respectively; but still, in the end it's all kind of pointless.

Nevertheless, level design is outstanding; from the ingenious classic to-expect settings (caves, earth, water, ice, fire, air, etc), to the right amount of difficulty required for maintaining and engaging challenge whilst not being overly so (only if you rush too much) Bosses are memorable too, and something you'd find in a MegaMan game. So every aspect of this extraordinary game is excellent, and it's undoubtedly one of the best games for the NES. Perhaps the best of it's kind, excluding SMB3, of course! It's def the (non-nintendo exclusive) pinnacle of what the NES had to offer, as it came near the end of it's life cycle; highly recommended!
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Sinistar (1983 Video Game)
1/10
One of the most overrated, unoriginal and worst arcade shooting games I've ever played!
26 October 2013
I have a huge tolerance for old games; since I actually prefer simple sounds, basic graphics, and bare no frills gameplay (obv by choice); but in this case I've simply found a pill I could not take. Basically what I can't tolerate besides being an obv bad ripoff of Bosconian; is the gawd awful gameplay. You just can't control your ship adequately, no matter what. Once it moves, it just won't stop moving; I'm all for realism, but this is too much. The only time it remains still is at startup. And it won't matter if you don't fuel it either; since every other object will eventually bump you out of place. I guess in theory you could always counter trust (in the opposite direction); but again, if I wanted to play an IRL physics sim; I'd be at NASA. This wouldn't be a problem with any other space shooter, but not here. The problem is that you have to coax the ship into "mining" some minuscule glowing rocks; known here as crystals, in order to make a bomb; a 'sini-bomb'. &BTW, that bomb is the only way to defeat the "living" enemy base; known as a (surprise; not really) Sinistar (Death Star rip-off, *cough*) So now instead of shooting like in a normal shoot'em up game, you have to perform the dual lame, boring and next to impossible task of "mining". Which is really nothing more that shooting at the gray rocky asteroids with glowing dots. The other problem is that the damn things are also moving as well! Therefore, hitting them continuously enough to yield a crystal; is hard. So you see, hitting them casually is no problem; the real problem is doing so in a controlled fashion. Not hitting them enough yields nothing, and overhitting them also yields nothing (as it destroys the 'roid) And to make matters ridiculously worse; when you think you've managed some "mining" balance, you realize that there's always a whole bunch of red parasitic mining drones of SiniStar following you around in order to steal your crystals! You can not outrun them, and shooting them is pointless and a waste of time; since SiniStar can conjure up an unlimited supply. Because, lo and behold, SiniStar is also "made" of those silly thingies! They should've better called them generic energy and source material, or something, IMHO. Again, the issue is proper control; as even with a plentiful bounty; everything will get either scattered or stolen, before you can catch the floating pixies. So your best "strategy" then is, oxymoronically, to mine as close to the darn thing as possible. Even if by some miracle, you manage to get the unfathomable large amount of bombs necessary to defeat the SiniStar, and unlucky to not nuke it within time; you still virtually lose, since it's very hard to launch them all at it whilst in pursuit mode. And to make matters worse, if you die; the level doesn't reset itself. Ie, the SiniStar doesn't start to build over again. So you get no resting break; hence, if sheer difficulty was the aim, then they succeeded brilliantly. So only true masochists can like this "game". It should be rather obv by now that there wasn't meant for inclusion any powerups, of any kind. And these things are not merely silly issues, they are beyond annoying; game ruining issues. At the very least, neophytes would be put off. Even the digitized sound FX are lame and badly stolen from Bosconian, which are completely wasted and ineffective; as it's mostly SiniStar's voice just to inform you that you are about to be "eaten" in several laughable ways. Graphics are the only thing they bothered to actually improve; a little. That's of course due to being a newer system; because the look and feel is obv the same as in Bosconian. And just to make sure there was the least amount of effort in avoiding an illegal copyright infringement claim, they moved the radar to the top of the screen. That'll sure fool everybody :roll-eyes: Hey (obv to those who know), your whole game is a blatant ripoff "clone"! So why didn't they just make the Sinistar vulnerable to conventional attacks? Oh yeah, that would've been obv too close of a resemblance to Bosconian!!! I'm not against basing your game on some other, and therefore creating "inspired" work; like Galaxian did with Space Invaders. If they are good, different and successful enough on their own; but this just sadly isn't, none of that. What it is, is an exercise in futility; an endless series of frustration, disappointment, and ripping-off everybody involved; specially Namco, and all the naive players out there...
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Rally-X (1980 Video Game)
7/10
An really nice, yet often underrated and overlooked "Pac-race" game...
25 October 2013
For some weird reason I prefer games that are obv variations of Pac-man, rather than the original itself. That doesn't mean I don't like PM; it's just that I like it's offshoots better. It's no coincidence either that Rally-X and PM are so similar. They're made by the same company; to run under the same hardware, for starters. Even the names are dually dash composites for gawd sakes! Yet, it does offers several improvements over PM, nevertheless. The most significant is the segmented level view. Ie, you only see a small portion of the whole stage; the one you're currently driving. The rest is displayed in the form of a radar on the left. This has the advantage of creating a seemingly random virtual space, larger than could previously be presented. Because it really is the same maze one over and over again. It also shows a larger, zoom-in view that was much detailed than before. A nice powerup would've been a map icon that displayed the whole "racetrack" in radar; because only the cars are represented otherwise, which of course would only make sense if tracks were actually different. &BTW, there are no powerups in the game; except a dual value bonus flag, and I don't think that really counts as one. The on-point, purposed realism works better for me too, as PM was too abstract to relate to. Still, graphics could've been more colorful and detailed, and sound FX and music more polished and thought out.

But it's the mechanics of the gameplay that are the real giveaway of a PM derivative. Here instead of a PM you "drive" (move around really); what appears to be a blue F1 car from top view, in a ridiculously convoluted maze like city "racetrack". Instead of ghosts chasing you around, here you are followed by a squad of red competitors. The only other thing you can crash to, besides them, are some giant obstacle rocks. And for the big power dots there are check flags that you have to "pick"; except that they don't have anything special, protect you from the other cars, or anything other except being the sole purpose of the race itself. There was no point in keeping the little dots then, which I think they transformed into the fuel system. Which is what actually protects you. When you press the action button, a series of small smog screens appears that momentarily stall and confuse the enemy vehicles; effectively blocking them. Don't use too often though, since it obv takes a small amount of precious fuel for it to work. Yet, it could also be interpreted the other way around; ie, the flags being the little dots, and the fuel the big dots; doesn't really matters. What does is that you can ran out of fuel, without the possibility of a reload; and I didn't like it. That's just a lame excuse to make the stages time limited; without actually saying so. Powerups in the form of gas cans would've been a nice addition; even if only for point bonus, since the surplus gasoline gets converted at the end of a level anyhow. As a driving game on itself, is very simple; perhaps too basic to even be considered a proper sim. However, interpreting the maze as the closed streets of a circuit's locale; eg, Monaco; then it kind of works out. The real problem remains the whole racing for flags thingie; since there's no definite finish line, nor particular pathway to be taken then. So in that sense; I don't think it can truly be considered a real race. Hence the rally name, although it'd be obv more like that, if it had a known, predetermined order to capture the flags; for instance, by showing their associated number on the radar. But finally, all things considered, RX is a good casual and quick arcade game; for when a real racing game may be overkill.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Bosconian (1981 Video Game)
7/10
An OK, casual fun and simple vintage arcade top-view space shooter
23 October 2013
Bosconian main claim to fame was that you could move and scroll in all four directions; ie left, right, up, and down. Totaling eight, if you take into account the diagonals as well. Gameplay is minimalistic, to say the least; even for a game of this kind, but understandable since it was one of the first lot. You move around; shooting like crazy; in a big singular black space level made of a titillating star background, and populated by asteroids, mines, opposing ships, and of course; a bunch of mean green space stations. Since finding and destroying the enemy bases is the main objective of the game; there's also a radar that shows their position, otherwise you'd easily get lost. And they're not going to make taking them down that easy for you, as they're loaded with missiles and defensive cannons; six to be precise. Ammo is of course, unlimited. Luckily all you have to do then is shoot at the center, which is where the weak link of the design is located (the core reactor), and it will blow up. Easy at first, extremely difficult later on. Gameplay could've been better, not only in complexity, but ship handling as well. In fact, the most difficult part is actually controlling your ship to a fine degree point. They were kind enough though, to integrate a built-in weapon upgrade; a rear shot. So when you shoot, it does it forwards and backwards; at the same time. There are no other in-game powerups (while playing) The levels themselves are variants of the same starting one; and as you advance, you realize that is the same premise over again, but more difficult. So in summary; you basically move around in lit the same space, the only difference being the number and type of enemy units. Another neat feature at the time was the addition of short speech via digitalized voices. I'd still prefer investment in better gameplay though. When I was younger I used to play it in the (original) arcade, now that I look at it more objectively; it doesn't seem that great at all, but more plain and boring that I remember it. Yet despite it's obv flaws and unkind passing of time, it still has an overall nice mindless retro appeal, that makes it a good leisure game; to at least kill a few spare moments of the day.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Wonder Boy (1986 Video Game)
8/10
Excellent iconic platform game for the SMS, but a bit too difficult for most
22 October 2013
Wonder Boy is a cute game starring a cute cave blonde kid wearing what appears to be a diaper made of leaves, in some love quest to rescue her GF; even though they seem too young to be getting in that type of situations in the first place. And although this is supposed to be in some sort of prehistoric setting, for some reason there's a skateboard an a helmet laying around in some dinosaurs' eggs; go figure. The gameplay is very simple, you jump with one button, and "attack" with the other. The quote reason being because that one also senselessly duals as a high jump; when it'd have being much better to do so in the standard motion way. So in order to perform an actual attack, you need a weapon; usually an axe, also found within said eggs. And in case you haven't figured it out by now; those eggs are the "powerup" mechanism; (quoting) since not all of them are good. And you're going to need all the help you can get; because even though is being targeted at children, it's much harder of what it seems at first glance (just like Alex Kidd) As a matter of fact; I'm certain most kids will be put off by the steep difficulty level, even with the infinite continues; which obv means they expected you to die, a lot. I mean, there's even a life bar at the top of the screen that has to be replenish with several types of fruits that appear from time to time. Because if you don't eat your food, you'll run out of stamina and lose a life. This is of course an excuse to time limit the levels; increasing the "level" of difficulty (pun intended); so you better be in a perennial rush-hurry! So the points displayed on screen when you catch a fruit are not merely bonus score; they are; but the forced, underlying life extending process itself is what's really important. The levels are varied and well designed, including locales and enemies like fires, caves, bees, stalactites, octopuses, water, clouds, ice, etc. So graphics are nice and colorful, albeit a little too pixelated and nondetailed, in lieu of the small sprite sizes. Music and sound FX are OK too. &BTW, this platformer was later ported on the NES under a converted star char, music, and name; Adventure Island. Both are virtually the same otherwise; especially levels and gameplay. But if I have to only pick one, I'd still be the original (ie, this one); as it slightly comes on top, IMHO.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Battle City (1985 Video Game)
8/10
Basic old-school addictive and fun tank shooting game for the NES
20 October 2013
Battle City is a deceitfully simple action tank game similar in look&feel and gameplay to Atari's Tank. So basically you fight opponents; which are other computer controlled tanks; in a series of maze like screens firing single straight big white pixelated ammo, while at the same time trying to defend your basecamp; represented by an eagle like effigy. The dungeons are usually made of what appears to be representative brickwalls; but sometimes are composed of metal, bushes, water, etc. Everything sounds pretty simple, until you start to stack variable combinations. Ie, the shots you fire are affected (or unaffected) by said environment; and so as your tank; even the enemy ones. Also, some of the enemy tanks have special abilities that start to sum up later in the game; as difficulty increases. And there's a lot of clever and useful powerups that enhance your chances of winning; "hidden" in a random enemy's flashing red tank. Also, defending your citadel adds a nice level of complexity to the game; without losing it's cute and peculiar simplicity and appeal. That way you have to develop an assertive "strategy"; since being too aggressive will most likely lead to it eventually being destroyed. So don't abandon it too often, and make sure you can get to it in time to protect it; if needs be. &BTW; if it gets destroyed you lose the game immediately. The other way to lose, is to lose all your lives, obv. There's an indication bar at the right with useful info, but it's not necessary to glance at it too often. Graphics are very bare, simple and with a few colors. Sound is virtually nonexistent; besides the silly sound FX, which could've been better. A warring soundtrack would've help a lot. Luckily a solid gameplay compensates for the lack of those attributes. Finally, it has that puzzle addictive quality that makes for a great game; something that you now would see in a (non official sequel) mobile dev app (to be improved upon) But unfortunately it's still missing that ne sais quoi; perhaps adding a (repair&upgrade) shop, or a live construction machine, or head-to-head two player mode. Because it only has cooperative; and it also comes with a nice level editor; that sadly I almost never use, since it's volatile. Ie, you can't save them (for later on) and hence can only use in game the current edit at the time. Nevertheless, it still is a good game overall; and definitely worth a try!
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
7/10
Yet another nice idea; almost ruined by poor execution and limitationary hindsights on the NES
19 October 2013
Originality is hard to come by in the game industry; regardless of the era. And Legendary Wings (LW) is no exception to the rule. I have to gave them credit for trying something somewhat different, though. The first thing noticeable about the game it's the theme graphics. Instead of the standard ship and space setting; now you're an angel like creature with a laser gun of sorts. Why would an angelic being needs a gun; beats me, but here they decided to armed it like that. I'd have chosen a flaming sword that spits fireballs; but that's just me. And the fact remains that it could also be a bird-man, but the other noticeable thing about the graphics tilts to the former; and that is it's mythological setting. There are temples, artifacts, head statues, hellish-looking gargoyles, tombs, caves, dragons, and other array of monstrous creatures. There's a dash of high tech machinery too, so maybe they're just aliens; and I'm simply seeing too much into it. Graphics per se are barely above average; since the NES simply doesn't have the detail resolution and color depth for what they were attempting to do. Heck; it doesn't even have the memory to do the second noticeable feature. And that's the combinatorial gameplay; you see, LW's mainly a (scrolling) vertical shooter (shoot'em-up) It's clearly noticeable that a great portion of attention, detail, and resources have been put into that area. However, there's another modal aspect of gameplay; and that is that from time to time it switches to a horizontal shooter! So it's almost like two games in one!!! Sadly in this case, neither aspect merges well with one another, and the union feels forced and badly implemented. So both aspects suffer and they detract from one another as a whole. As clearly demonstrated by other focused games; or any other practical life aspect, for that matter; as it's better to do one thing well, that two haphazardly. As a matter of fact; there even isn't required that much to pass thru the horizontal stages. They're mostly extra bonus rounds; that doesn't even move you forward the vertical stage. Ie, you leave exactly were you entered. It'd have been great it you came somewhere else; even a little warp would've been nice. So it's just another misopportunity. The fact that entering those is non required is obv another one. It's a shame because the horizontals were almost nice, free mini platform levels on themselves. Again, they should've taken a more clear direction; and either pimp the vertical, or scrap the horizontal. Well, technically they are do required later on; but by then you'd be put off by the insane difficulty level. Not as much as R-Type, though; but simply annoying. I just wished that gimmick would be put to better use. Rating for each part separately would be mediocre, but taking both together and being lenient towards the composite result; yields a better grade, barely. Again, gameplay is more difficult that needs be; and there were even some slowdowns when too much's going on screen. This only adds to the frustration of what could've been a much better game. So powerups are a necessity. Besides the normal laser attack, there's a secondary bomb type that destroys ground missile turrets like objects. It's very hard to hit those, not only because you'd be too busy shooting and trying to dodge the other air attacking units; but because they made the aux weapon too much harder to use. I'm assuming purposely. Music is nearly forgettable and so the sound FX; average at best. Hence a promise undelivered and a wasted effort; almost, because despite LW's downsides; it somehow turns overall to be a good and rewarding shooter game, that just could've been better...
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Saramanda (1986 Video Game)
9/10
A nice side scrolling shooter, and "sequel"
17 October 2013
I have played both the original arcade and the NES port, and I think the former is way better. Known also as Salamander; but don't know why. Since LifeForce makes much sense because the visual theme is that the ship destroys bio-cyber threats in some sort of huge organic setting. Similar to an immune system response; think of a miniaturized antibody vessel to shoot laser type weapons at disease. Of course this is all an excuse to precisely make it so; ie, a shooter game out of it. This is it's major differentiating attribute from the rest of others, that were almost exclusively set in space. And believe it or not; it was very original at the time. As a matter of fact, in an absolute Konami line of comparable shooters; LF comes as #2, behind Gradius; the main difference being precisely theme setting, and order of appearance, of course. That's exactly the same as saying that WC3 is #2 to SC in Blizzard's strategy series, and that SC2 is not really 2, but 3; and I wholeheartedly agree, until actual time of referencing them by name of course. In this line is also as confusing for there is a Gradius 2 (3 really:) And just as with Gradius, there are plenty of neat power ups that can be combined. This fares better overall compared to Gradius though, and the one I like the best; even more so that G2! Bottomline; LF's basically an upgraded Gradius (revolutionary horizontal shooter), with better gameplay and a new set of changed theme graphics. Ie, a really good game!
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
9/10
Surprisingly enjoyable, little known classic shooter arcade like gem for the SMS
17 October 2013
The original Fantasy Zone was a good game; but this one is excellent. It's a definitive improvement over the first one. Even though at it's core it's just a basic side scrolling shooting game; what set it apart is the bright, colorful and cute graphics; and that you can guide the screen movements in both directions (left and right) It also has some standard platform like qualities (that may count as an extra setting apart quality) Visually is reminiscent of Super Mario World (for SNES); although obv not being a platformer. And like the previous one; Super Mario Bros; it also has hidden warp points throughout. Even the enemies are quirky, funny, weird, and adorable. Bosses are more memorable still; like something you'd find in a MegaMan game. I wonder if it's similarities are by intentional design; ummh... Besides the main straight shooting attack, there's an auxiliary one; a dropping bomb. Upgrades for them and the ship itself can be purchased with money dropped from "dead" enemies throughout too. Music and sound FX were not all that, but slightly more than OK. And I have only played the SMS conversion, hence I don't know about the org arcade, or any other port. So in summary, it's a unique fun shoot'em up worthy of a look around.
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
TwinBee (1985 Video Game)
10/10
Excellent, little-known, underrated, cutesy, pretty anime looking vertical shooter
17 October 2013
There are two things that set it apart; first the cartoon look. From the ships, enemies and items to the background; the chibi graphics are actually very nicely done. So I definitely think it was a success in that department. Music was OK, and so the sound FX; definitely above average, at least. The only odd thing is the fact that despite being called "bees" the aircrafts look more like regular airships; but maybe it's their designated name. It stroke me as odd, because I interpreted the twin part in the fact that you can combine them into one for a mega-bee attack of sorts (I guess this could also count as an extra setting apart point:) I don't know what the story is either, none is given (that I remember) But it doesn't matter since this is clearly a straight shoot'em up from startup. Gameplay all around is smooth and enjoyable. And as others of this kind, it starts reasonably easy and gradually progress in difficulty. Luckily you have the second thing that set it apart, which is the bonus power up system; from time to time in clouds, appears these bells that you have to "take" in order to attain the prize it "contains". That's pretty standard; but the really nice thing about it is that you can shoot them before, and by doing so they change colors to indicate the shuffling level of the to be converted item. Which I thought was kind of neat. I have only played the NES port, so I can only tell about that. But I liked it a lot, have a look at it; even if it appears too childish at first glance, because there surely is a whole lot of solid game backing it up underneath it's forced anime look.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Omega Race (1981 Video Game)
9/10
Eat your heart out Asteroids!
16 October 2013
The game is a simple vector arcade shooter in which you basically ran around with your spaceship from a far atop view, in a square track; ie, the screen; which supposedly was some sector of the galaxy. Anyhow; there are other obstacles and competitors that make it more interestingly difficult. It also has been ported to other systems; yet the original arcade is still the best, IMHO. It's similar to Asteroids; except that you're bounded to the border. And your status is oddly displayed in the center of the screen; however I think that only adds to what makes it special. Finally; I still think this is better implemented and less boring (or at least repetitive) than Asteroids.

And on a related sidenote: I dunno what IMDb has now got to do with video games; but I guess they're expanding their entertainment reach, which is OK (I'm just saying that it'd best if there was a separate site called IVGDB, or something. Or a global like IEDB, instead of IMDb)
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Zaxxon (1982 Video Game)
7/10
Good, casual fun, 2.5D shooter
16 October 2013
Zaxxon was an arcade pseudo 3D scrolling shooter. Technically, a third person isometric view, scrolling horizontally still made of sprites. It was revolutionary at the time; and I personally prefer the original arcade to any other port. Gameplay is simple, except for determining altitude. You start by maneuvering a spaceship; that looks like a space shuttle; thru a flat asteroid base in outer space, blasting everything in sight. The base has defenses, including walls, turrets, lasers, and missiles. However every action; specially shooting; consumes some fuel, so it's essential to replenish it by (ironically) shooting fuel tanks that lay around on the base. Once you clear the base you switch into full empty space combat mode, and start to dogfight other spaceships. Finally you fight a big slow-moving robot type boss. Levels are made of repeating said elements over again, but with increase difficulty. As already stated; the main problem was controlling the ship with precision. Since it could move in simulated 3D space, it was hard to gather it's precise height location. Even with the aid of a shadow and an altimeter. Bottomline, is that it was a nice, simple experiment that turned to be a big success and help established Sega as a big game developing company.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
B-Wings (1984 Video Game)
10/10
Surprisingly enjoyable, little known classic shooter arcade like gem for the NES
16 October 2013
B-Wings is a deceitfully simple and excellent vertical scrolling space shooter game, that I've only played on the NES; I've heard there is an original arcade version, but sadly haven't seen it. There are mainly three things to destroy; one, basic small enemies that have a weak attack and come in standard swarms. Two, the space station or cities type of structures that just stand there (where bonus are located) And three, the bosses which are in between, with massive size and firepower to match (one for each level) Anyhow, It's distinctive mark that separates it from others of the lot is that your vessel is; for the main part; composed of a two section design. The first one is rocket like, and it's what gives motion and serves as an anchor for the second part. Which would be the upgrades; those are the actual weapons, which determine the kind of "missile" fired. Hence the upgrades in here are an essential part of gameplay. Technically you can still fire projectiles with just the bare ship, but those are very basic and weak, and would only make the game harder that already is. So difficulty is kind of high; by obv design; but luckily you have available special bonus upgrades hidden within some artifacts to help out. Some of the common ones also appear floating around from time to time, in case you'd like to change them or loose the current accidentally. To switch a weapon in game, you have first to ditch the old weapon; simply by pressing the non firing button; then pick the other up as hover nearby. There are at least over 10 distinct weapon upgrades available, in total; each with it's own set of advantages and disadvantages. All this variability means you can have a lot of different fire options that result in optimal level range completion, or recommended combinations for defeating bosses. Ie, for picking the best "strategy" at the time. So it's more complex that it'd appear at first glance. Because you not only choose to arm and equip at the beginning of a level, or life restart; but throughout the game itself! You can also dodge objects and attacks briefly, by pressing both buttons. It's sort of leaping under perspective level; or diving below; which serves as a temporary defense mechanism, in case you can't handle the situation. Keep the technique in mind as it may save your life. Unfortunately there's a major drawback, which is that you lose your current main weapon at the time. Finally, the music is good and catchy, and the sound fx are loud and fittingly adequate. Graphics are clear, crisp, colorful, contrasting, neat, and very well done; and so does the animations. The only drawback would be the backgrounds; which are very simple and monotonous. This makes determining relative position somewhat hard. And to make matters worse, they sometimes look too similar to enemies; creating the illusion of appearance when none exists, specially when moving. Nevertheless, an all around simply superb game!
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Wizard of Wor (1980 Video Game)
10/10
Pacman eat your heart out!
15 October 2013
This is one of the best vintage games ever made; sadly, little known and way underrated. It's quite basic fun: One or two space warrior players fight in a simple maze type of magical futuristic dungeon. The object is simple; blast with your laser gun everything in sight. Down to defeating the ultimate boss; the infamous Wizard of Wor himself! Enemies range from absurd dinosaur like creatures to insects, and come in staged waves. Some creatures have the capability to turn invisible; but fortunately you have a handy radar at the bottom of the screen. Graphics are bare and minimalistic; but they do not deter from gameplay, as monsters are still easily recognized. As this is the org arcade; it's way better than any other conversion. &BTW, what I meant from the title was that it's basically pacman with a gun minus eating dots
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
9/10
Best one of the series!
15 October 2013
I don't get why a lot of people didn't like this followup. Granted; they deviated a little from the org story and graphics. But I think it was for the best; as those aspects were actually improved. More importantly, gameplay itself. It has more complex levels, so it's longer and more meaningful. It's also slightly more difficult; which I think it further adds to it's enjoyment. So to make it clear; it does have way better graphics. And I'm assuming then that fans didn't like, the more realistic look; go figure. Always on the upside; there are more playable chars, with their own style and weapons; that are also more interesting and add to the already deep storyline. Even the "soundtrack" was much better that ever before. This is my favorite NES scrolling fighting game. I have played the previous two; and I thought that they were merely OK. The order in which they appeared certainly matches it's rating. Ie, the first being the worst; and this being the best. They surely pale in comparison to this one anyhow. So do yourself a favor; ignore the detractors; and play it with an open mind. I'm sure you'll find it surprisingly good too ;)
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
1/10
Simply not funny and awful. Also, worst movie I have ever seen...
13 October 2013
This "movie" is about a couple of morons that for some obv reason (they're dumb; duh) start to take themselves too seriously, think that a movie (within) about them is being made without credit; and also they're being badmouthed on line; rightfully so, and simply decide to get even. A following roadtrip ensures. But that doesn't matter, because those guys aren't even interesting in their own sporadic appearances of their group of other movies; let alone this silly reply of a film. If they wanted to properly answer their detractors; they failed miserably, because now they've only confirmed that everything bad about them is indeed true. They are unfunny and can't act ass poop; but so all of the other people around. Especially the all star cameos showcased. They were gathered for nothing; because the direction, script and plot were so weak, that no-one could save this ridiculous mess; not even collectively. &BTW, they're fugly and metrogay too; but that won't matter to their minions. Smith even somehow managed to turn his "babes" into a turn off set of ugly vinyl silicon look alike trannies. Even the ape acted and looked better that everybody else put together in this P.O.S! People that actually paid to see this crapfest got ripped off. If you stayed to the end; then you simply got raped, and I feel sorry for you. I also felt sorry for the other "actors" that appeared in this POS; for about like 5 seconds. These characters simply cannot carry a movie. Hence please, do yourself a favor, and don't waste your time with this overrated trash. It's beyond me how this could even be loosely considered entertainment. I know this will get lost and sink to the bottomless pit of useless IMDb "reviews"; but I'm sick and tired of hearing that Smith's "a genius", that his movies are "good and funny", that "you don't get it", "what's wrong with you", "are you not normal?!", etc, etc, etc. The only thing I get is that he had this coming, and that he's a talentless hack whose only real talent is to hoax other stupid people into thinking he's a real and talented filmmaker; that's for sure. Nevertheless, I do admire him for that, alone. So bottomline: WORST MOVIE EVER MADE!!! So much in fact, that this is a perfect example of how NOT to make a movie. And finally, this sorry excuse of a film is also childish, amateurish, boring, lame, uninspired, insipid, unenjoyable, bland, and pure torture!
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
9/10
Best Avengers animated series to date! (2013)
13 October 2013
Animation quality notwithstanding; it's rather obv than Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes pales in comparison to this one. Once and if you're willing to gave it a more objective look, of course. For instance, I didn't like how they handle the Wonder Man or Vision characters in the newer series. And I didn't mind the perceived lack of appearance of the major others in this one. As a matter of fact; I wouldn't have noticed if not explicitly pointed out later on. And in a way, I'm glad that they didn't appear. They're boring, overpowered and overrated egotripping asses anyhow. In particular the Hulk; he can go smash himself in the head all he wants, and make himself even more dumber, for all I care. He even comes more unlikable and unbearable that Hawkeye; in any incarnation. I also felt that the older one was closer to the comics; albeit the West Coast branch; and had more originality and distinct personality on itself. Also, I thought it was a clever spin of the same old; and at least a way above average offering. It was also way more interesting, since it was set in a slightly alternate future. The explanation for their powers made even more sense here than in the comics, and was more than adequate; even the secondary ones. They feel more like a real team too. It's a pity that it was so abruptly cancelled; and didn't get a decent run. It'd been nice to see it further developed; since the story and plot were really good. Eg, I'm certain they'd make more use of the suits; but sadly never got the chance. Even the arcs were more freshly engaging that AEMH too. Animation was not bad; but it wasn't great either. It was good for the time, though. And it's still decent to this day; IMHO. So all-in-all, I don't understand how some people can call themselves true (hardcore) fans, and not like this (WTF?!) Simply because it didn't fit in their little minds' preconceived ideas of what it supposedly should've been. Jack Kirby and Stan Lee were credited as writers and creators. Even Stan Lee and Avi Arad were further involved, and are listed as executive producers, for gawd sakes! What else does it take for menial dogmatic stubborn pompous asses to just get it?! And I don't understand their toy line argument either; since every media franchise, since I have memory, has attempted to further capitalize in that way. In any case, I remember this airing during the 90s; which was when I first saw it. So to me this will always be the definitive and original (animated) Avengers! A step forward in the whole Avengers universe anyhow ever since (a kid's series' better than none:) Anyway; lots of action, and although obv geared for little kids; it also equally offers lots of twists and drama for adults. So do yourself a favor and watch this underrated gem, but with an open mind.:)
2 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Fat Head (2009)
9/10
A perfect example of what a doc should be, independently funded and filmed; with something significant to expose and enlight
9 October 2013
In this particular case; the deceitful agenda of the powerful lobbying especial interest groups behind the shadowy "fattification" of the US of A. A smoke and mirrors "epidemic" which they themselves manufacture ("The Man", obv); knowingly and willingly. The medium is in a form of rebuttal to the lame Super Size Me one; even with the same tone. Except infinitely better and more funny. It also serves as a teaching aid in explaining why regular diets don't work, and the intuitive truth about how our metabolism has evolved to eat meat; not vegetables. Despite what you have been misled to believe all your life. I can't believe this isn't rated higher; but it doesn't surprise me as much anylonger. The problem for many then is, that oftentimes it comes too hard and lengthy on it subject matter. But it's OK, since after all; it was made by a self proclaimed on-the-side comic (nothing wrong with that either) And I thought it succeeded wonderfully in making fun of the referenced people and institutions; again, it was really good and funny. If any; I found out that it didn't pwnd them hard enough. I also didn't mind the low budget; for it was nicely shot, edited, and very well put together; also it gave it real character. The animations were well done, funny and informative as well. Hence, the problem with sheeple is that when you tell them explicitly; then it's always your fault. They resist you and go all STFUN&WTF on you. People just don't like to be accountable for their actions; let alone hint at being merely responsible. Not to mention that people get offended for the most irrelevant and silliest things; because he badmouthed Mcnutguy(Spurlock), some minorities, the govermint; etc. Give me a break! Nothing nowhere near when an anti establishment person utters a word. Eg, a 9/11 conspiracy; which I'd at least understand their closed minded, backlashing, emotional response. There's no need to say conspiracy anyhow; because everybody should know by now that the evil corporate-govermint is responsible. This has been proved time and time again. Yet sheeple just don't want to accept that simple fact. Nevertheless; I urge you to think and found out for yourself, if that's not the case. Ie, ask yourself; what parts were not true about those statements? None obv; at least to me. Vegnuts arguments are exactly like animal rights ones; they are all emotions over reasons. Because otherwise they'd have no arg "point"; ie anything to stupidly complain about. Vegetarism is malnourishing, sickening and anti-natural; deal with it. So if you eat like a pig; better stated, what a pig does; then you'll obv become a pig. No surprises; a bad rating or review, or self righteous indignation; at least from my behalf. Just kudos for telling it like it is, on a job superbly done!
2 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
3/10
A nice attempt of making an updated action-adventure themed film; that just didn't quite cut it...
6 October 2013
It could had been easily inferred that this movie wasn't destined to be any good; at least by the original Sherlock Holmes character. Because not only feels that it was forced into a newer era; but that it was the first installment on a stupid, deficit attention series. I'm not against pimping it; a little. But this just went all overboard. So much, in fact; that it just doesn't make any sense. Which is an obv problem, specially in a series that prides itself on logical deduction and thinking. The first issue it had was that it simply was too modernized. The late 1800s settings were merely a visual style; for it could as easily been set in the mid 1900s, without any other noticeable contrivance. Eg, electromagnetism wasn't even well established; let alone the building of hand-held, singular radio controlled devices. What's next; gas driven automobiles?! So if you're going to introduce those elements in the grandfather of murder mysteries; then make sure there aren't so many anachronistic mistakes. Or you'll end steampunking your way into another pitiful, unintended comedy; like The Wild Wild West, and that's not a good idea. The second is that the movie also portrays Sherlock too unrealistic; even more than originally intended. Ie, as a spiritual new age renaissance man / master of disguise / mad scientist / weird delusional genius / expert hand to hand combatant / biological chemist / etc, etc, etc; you name it. Since he was so much high and mighty stuff; the question begs; why does he need Watson in the first place then? (Medical expertise obv notwithstanding) Well, it turns out, he doesn't really need anyone; unsurprisingly. At least, to solve this "mystery" (standard bland self revealing plot, really) Everybody that lives in the real world knows (even if intuitively) that things are probabilistic, not deterministic; without any need for modern convoluted physical models. There are lit thousands of explanations that could equally qualify for any given deduction. Eg, there's a scene when he gets "wrong" the finger mark of a ring on Watson's fiancée. So why is that the only thing he fails at it?! The ratio of hit/misses shown is obv statistically impossible. It's like he's even above godlike psychic normal humankind, and nobody else is on par; except at the final introduction of his commonplace nemesis. Yet another example would be that we're supposed to believe that he can "infer" where he's at; after being taken blindfolded for a carriage ride? Why do people bother to begin with; seriously!? I for once, would like to point out that the emperor is; indeed; naked. But thirdly and lastly, the worst was the plot itself; this was an even greater affront to all true Sherlock Holmes fans. Without revealing too much of it; it would be suffice to say that is also an extension of Sherlock's superhuman capabilities. Ie, just a coincidental dumb excuse to show off. It revolves around trying to stop a creepy cliché guy for making himself ruler of the UK, and the US, as well. Again; why stop there, when you can have the whole world :rolleyes: Apparently common megalomaniacal villains from back then also never did bother to kill their adversaries from the start. Yet, it couldn't be more boring that sitting thru this movie. Or maybe he knew that Sherlock would have inferred his lame attempt; or that he'd then start dodging bullets Matrix style :shakehead: There just wasn't any stop to the ridiculousness of this silly film. Nevertheless, on a positive note; it was pretty to look at, had high production values, and had some decent performances (except Downey's accent obv); but it still wasn't a good addition overall to the Sherlock's saga, IMHO. Unless you're planning the next movie to be an even more ludicrous hybrid James Bond/MI type of deal, of course. Bottomline; it was just another sad case of form over substance cash-in milk cow...
2 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Frida (2002)
3/10
Shallow, overly melodramatic and inconsequential biopic if you're not already a fan; mediocre offering otherwise
30 September 2013
If you already like the person, then it won't matter what I say. However, a more objective look will reveal that not only Frida the movie sucked; but so Frida, the person portrayed, herself. Especially as an artist. Her life story feels more like a bad TV movie of the week. Yes; it's sad what happened to her. But so what? A lot of other folks had it tougher out there, and you don't see them claiming their 15min of fame or their remaining heir's movie making deals. Why do I have to care about these overrated morons in the first place? I know; because Hollywood told me to. Better stated; their bourgeois friends, whether still living, or otherwise. Nevermind that's an excuse for a liberal gloryfest.- Well, there you go; I guess that's the reason this wasn't made into a film before. It's simply uninteresting. Even the supposedly racy issues. There's nothing I found controversial. I actually wish there was something; that would have make it less boring. I just didn't care for her romances; I found her art void, insipid, infantile, unmoving, overrated and lame; since she couldn't draw better that a 5yo. Also I thought her decisions were stupid, and by extension, so her overall existence. Bias notwithstanding, the only other group that overall liked it were mexicans; unsurprisingly. Sheeple that had some epiphany about her art or liked this movie experience are obv on some weird peyote stuff. I must admit that as a comedy, this works way much better. I laughed so hard at her misfortunes and stupidity that I almost cried. And after all their marriage was a joke too. As a matter of fact; the most interesting part revolves around the Trotsky murder affair, pun intended. Since this is also as much about Diego as it is about Frida. It makes sense to focus on him; because he was the most recognizable talent of the two. She simply comes of as arrogant, pedantic accessory; and being the greatest thing since the invention of the guacamole. The graphic style of the movie was the main thing that kept me watching throughout. Alfred's performance was adequate; and I most also grant that Selma looked and owned the part too. However, that's not enough in my book to gave it a positive review; merely an extra star. And the accents were bothersome and appalling too; specially of the secondary characters. I also knew right away the movie was never meant to be great since it was done in the English lang, not in Spanish. I mean; how many other Spanish Frida movies are out there; besides documentaries? Zero I think, and for a good reason. In the end, I just couldn't care less who Frida Kalho was before; and now that I know, I just despise her. And that is how powerful the effect this movie had on my perception of her...
3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Family Guy (1998– )
3/10
Yet another animated bad sitcom like wannabe show
29 September 2013
I'd have more respect had it been an IRL show; but since it isn't... It unsurprisingly revolves around the borderline white trash mishappenings of the standard US family nucleus. Situations usually created by the detestable father, since he's the dumbest of them all. The mother is the enabler. The daughter is the ugly geek; and so the oldest son. The only difference is that he's also fat and stupid; just like the father, and by extension, the show itself. Which is updated to a more modern and adult setting that comparable ones; sadly that doesn't add much to the show's enjoyment. Think of it as a bad ripoff of The Simpsons; obv unfunny and infinitely worse. The only two quasi salvageable chars are the youngest son, and the dog. Which are obv alter egos of the creator. Perhaps he should do a show solely about those two; IMHO.

Another series of adjectives that come to mind are awful, unoriginal, infantile, nonedgy, lame, over-rated/hyped, dumb, boring, and expensive trash. It should've been canceled a long time ago, and jumped the shark right after the first season; as a matter of fact, it has been cancelled before; twice! If was never funny to begin with. And it's no wonder, since there are seldom any true jokes; just a series of bad puns and references. And even when they are, they're not funny enough. Seth has proved that he has no originality and can only do one type of show, rehashed over and over again under diff names; voices withstanding. "Funny" offerings for about 5 seconds an episode never did cut it. Definitely the Cloverfield of TV. And sadly once again, IMDb ratings and critics' reviews have failed me. I just cannot fathom why; except maybe fanboys trolling and voting down/up every negative/positive rev. Because no decent, average, clean, and normal human being could possible find this entertaining, let alone watch this putrefactive vomit out of free will. After growing up and leaving the pot, or whatever; I'd recommend a much better show, like South Park. A truly funny, intelligent, groundbreaking satire for serious and discernible adults. Or perhaps even said FOX's classic yellow family signature show. Anything is better that this P.O.S! I just don't see this appreciated a few years from now. People that like it should be ashamed of themselves, and will also be ridiculized for the morons that they truly are; eventually. Maybe sheeple have lost any standard and ref levels; and nowadays they pretty much laugh at anything that's supposedly sold to them as funny. Lil' kids also lıek Barney as best show evar1 you know...
3 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Earth: Final Conflict (1997–2002)
7/10
A good show that most people didn't get to watch at the time...
28 September 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Nor do they got what it was really about. &BTW, sorry about the spoilers; it's not that much a deal. It's just that I couldn't find a better way of describing it without resorting to some telling; sadly. Know also from the start that the show was almost ruined by it's fifth season; underrated otherwise, nevertheless. So don't judge it too harsh solely on that account.

I don't know if the creators of the show had in mind to convey what I interpreted; but to me, the show was a clear metaphor of the dualistic human existence; male/female, love/hate, peace/war, animal/spirit, etc. And how only unifying those elements we could not only become whole again, but also stop our ever mongering self destruction spiral. EtFC was slow paced; but it was OK, since it only had one main theme to start with. A singular alien race known as the Taelons suddenly lands on Earth claiming peace, goodwill and all that hoopla; and the protagonists set forth to find out it's true intentions for being here. After all; just because something seems benevolent, doesn't mean it really is. And of course; there's certainly a catch. As it's later revealed they need our help in surviving; since they're been having a war with another species, know as the Jaridians. The latter have been winning the war lately, as they are more violent and have larger troops than the taelons; due to their higher sex drive. They lack however, the tech sophistication of the taelons; which are more intelligent; and also their higher lifespan. If it seems too convenient that their advantages and weakness compensate so diametrically well; it's because by it's fateful design. You see, it turns out that a long time ago both used to be the same race. They "evolved" to what are today by branching out of the same org species. Lit; I mean, they split themselves like unicellular organisms. Only at a higher energy level state that somehow manifested in the physical plane; or viceversa, doesn't really matter. But unsurprisingly, it turns out now; they're not actually evolving, but devolving. Lifespan for the jars is so low, they're starting to die in the womb. And taes have such low birthrates to death ratio, that they're virtually extinct. So the obv & logical "solution" is to return to the org race that started it all right away; as it was meant to be. Of course, that would've make a pretty short and boring show; since it'd take out all the conflict from the title. I assume you're clever enough to remember what I stated earlier on and put all what together now. Still, the question remains; why do they still need us?

The only other things left to mention about the show then are that acting was also OK; and so the chars, plot and dev. Prod values were high for the time, as were the special effects. Inconsistencies could always be attributed to the alien nature of the show; to a reasonable degree. Not all seasons kept the same consistency level though, but it still managed to be a good show overall. Season one being the best; with all the mystery. Followed by 2 to 4; which were more action driven, explanatory, and had more twists. And then, there was the unnecessary dreaded last season; where it all collapsed and went down the drain with the introduction of a newer race. Since by then it had completely lost sight of it's intended purpose, and was a pathetic attempt of saving itself by lousy reinvention; that was a clear jumping the shark moment. I org even thought it was just an intentionally filler arc and that they'd eventually return to the main story line; but it turned out they never did, and actually ended it right there. I'd been better to actually never air anything of it, and leave an open ending at the one before; since we felt so raped by it on their behalf. And yes; it's that bad. Gene should've left not only a person in charge; anticipating his own passing, like a will; but some manuscripts as well, to avoid twisting in his grave right now...
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
loading
An error has occured. Please try again.