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Beverly Hood (1999)
Not even stupid funny...just stupid
28 October 2004
I will start this by saying that I have seen some bad movies in my day. To be completely honest I have often sought them out due to a "bad movie" addiction that I will now seek counseling for thanks to this movie watching experience. After enduring 'Beverly Hood' and successfully fighting the urge to hunt down and maim every single person involved in this travesty I decided that the next best thing would be to review it. First, I would like to go on the record, as saying this movie alone is responsible for conjuring up just about EVERY negative stereotype associated with African Americans known to man. If someone had actually shown up tap-dancing in blackface with watermelon and chicken in tow I could safely say that all bases would have been covered. Given the production as a whole I don't believe anyone would have been surprised or offended. Every single "actor" in this movie went through great lengths to distinguish him or herself as a combination of every ignorant character you have ever seen and that is saying a lot. Everyone is loud, stupid and apparently from Mississippi. I am an African American from the south and I have never encountered ANYONE that is even vaguely similar to any of these buffoons. While I cannot say that people of this caliber do not exist, I find it very difficult to believe this sort of behavior should be celebrated in a movie. Speaking of which, how did this even get made??? I know that this is supposed to be a comedy and I should probably lighten up but I found none of this entertaining. There was no semblance of a plot and I am not even sure why there is a writing credit because all of the dialogue seems to be improvised with disastrous results. I should have been sent a t-shirt commemorating the fact that I even made it through this dreck. Now that I think about it, I am almost certain that would bolster the cycle of ignorance which this movie is based upon and therefore make this entire review moot so never mind. It seriously pains me to even attempt to recall any of its "highlights" for a synopsis so I won't even bother. I had to close my eyes or simply walk out of the room during the more trying scenes. Characters appear out of nowhere spout embarrassing dialogue and disappear. Editing? What editing? To say that it looks like it was edited with a machete would be a direct insult to the machete itself. Nothing in this movie makes any sense. The narrator plays a number of characters including what I would classify as the worst man in drag I have EVER seen as well as a playing preacher who shows up out of nowhere to conduct a wedding only to disrupt it by getting into heated exchange with another preacher who is actually scheduled to be there. Why that was supposed to be funny is beyond me and you will find yourself asking that very same question throughout this venture. Kym Whitley's outlandish southern "accent" is non existent half way into the film, maybe she suddenly became aware of the crime she was committing but it was too little too late, the damage was done when she signed on for this tripe. This movie is not worth your time or energy; trust me you will feel as if you were hit by a bus after seeing only a few minutes. I'm still exhausted and I saw this over a week ago. Consider yourself warned, and if a friend of yours tells you that you should see this movie and tries to convince you that it is some cinematic masterpiece you need to know right now that they are NOT your friend and you should rethink every movie recommendation from them from that day forward or quite possibly reconsider the friendship itself. Only watch this movie if you have lots of time that you care nothing about getting back or have access to potent prescription medication, you will need it.
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