Reviews written by registered user
exocrine

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14 reviews in total 
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9 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
There simply are no words, 3 April 2011
10/10

Once in a lifetime an event happens that is so monumental words can't describe it. "The princess promenade" is that event.

After viewing it my life was changed forever. All that was old became new again, seen through the eyes of a child. I'm tempted to compare it to the condition "Synthesia" where the brain generates additional stimulus, but this is far more esoteric.

There simply are no words in this language or any other to describe the impact of this film. "Brilliant" does not do it justice. "Justice" is not brilliant enough. "Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious" barely scratches the surface.

This movie has ruined all other movies that come after it, for none can achieve the level of innate perfection of the Princess Promenade. Love it. Treasure it. Experience it.

Be it.

6 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Absolutely horrible, 12 May 2010
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This was one of the worst movies i've ever seen. I appreciate that you are on a low budget but there's no excuse for this kind of garbage.

It's got every kind of cliché, from the down home country folk to the sex obsessed aliens.

There's sex all over the place and really bad gore. It's about as fun as watching the Parliamentary channel while drinking a flat diet coke and waiting for your desperately needed turn in the bathroom.

The characters are all cardboard cutouts. There's the dumb hot girl, the gay guy, the nerd, the country girl, the weird country brother, the serious hot girl. When one dies you really won't care.

I would avoid this.

3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Great movie all around, 2 April 2007
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie has everything you could want. It's not wishy washy like the other D&D movie, you see a guy get frozen and eaten by a white dragon.

The plot concerns "Damodar" from the first film. He is dead now for over a hundred years, but the bad guy from the first film cursed him and now he's undead.

He touches a young woman's mind and infects her with a disease that is turning her into a wight. To save her, and get rid of a black dragon that Damodar is trying to wake up, they have to go on a quest to find a magical orb. The characters are really well done, at first it was a generic "I am the thief, watch me be bad" sort of deal but they really did a good job with it. One of the characters dies and doesn't come back.

All the women in the film are really pretty. The barbarian woman isn't so hot in my opinion, but it works for her character.

This film is a lot darker than the earlier version. In damodar's lair he is hanging drow upside down and draining their blood so that he can drink it.

This film is full of references to classic campaigns as well, long time players will be able to pick them up easily.

14 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
Great show, 13 March 2007
8/10

This is one of the better shows out there. It deals with racism in a really positive way and isn't "preachy" or "cuddly". There are a few problems (Why would people who dissolve in salt water choose to live in a coastal city like Los Angeles?) but those are easily overlooked.

The show is really well done and makes some great references to todays society. The new race has drug and alcohol addictions, faces discrimination both inside and outside their communities, and struggles to integrate itself into the human world.

One of the ongoing jokes in the series is the newcomer names. They never had names on the ship so they are assigned names by a human agency. A lot of them are comical, like "San Francisco" but some of them are politically incorrect, like calling a mentally challenged newcomer "Albert F---ing Einstein". The middle name was dropped for the series but the character remains.

I recommend it, it is a great show.

Grease 2 (1982)
0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Great cross between a movie and a virus, 1 January 2007
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The first time you see this, you will think it is awful.

It will grow on you, insidiously working its way inside you like a virus. Soon you will be humming lines from it. You will have to refrain from bursting into "Cool rider" at inopportune moments.

There is no escape, of course. You will learn every line in "Girl for all seasons". Even the paltry "score tonight" will burn itself into your mind for all eternity.

This movie will become a weird obsession and like me you will find yourself unable to resist it. You will cry with Stephanie when she hallucinates during the talent show and sees her dead boyfriend. You will score along with the gang at the bowling alley.

Undead (2003)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Weird, interesting movie, 4 March 2006
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie is actually quite good, if you can overlook the bad parts. The movie is weird and skips around a lot, it is like a combination of outbreak, close encounters and night of the living dead.

The bad parts include dumb special effects (Putting a hand through a head?) and some poor acting. There are some plot holes and logical mistakes but nothing overwhelmingly serious. The film work is a bit "blue" but that's nothing big either. It tries to be a comedy but fails.

The good parts include an interesting plot, i thought it was stupid at first but it made sense in the end. The lead actress is very pretty and the movie doesn't drag much.

The aliens are here and they're going to make you watch this, 26 February 2006
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I will have to say i actually liked the movie, but there are monumental, horrendous plot holes that make it hard to enjoy it.

If you are a fan of movies in general, see it. If you like hardcore sci-fi and want a plausible movie, skip it.

Here are some problems: 1) As pointed out thousands of times, the EMP pulse would have permanently destroyed the microchips in the camcorders and cameras. Also, the majority of "broken down" cars would have been drivable. EMP doesn't permanently destroy them.

2) It is plausible that the aliens were waiting for the human biomass to reach a critical level before attacking. It is plausible that they were able to hide for so long. What is not plausible is that the alien "red weeds" were able to germinate from something planted millions of years ago.

3) The biology of the film is difficult to accept. In order to use human tissue as a growth medium for the red weeds, they must have tested it first to see if it worked. If they did, they must have noticed the lethal bacteria. At some point in the millions of years of planning and waiting, they might have noticed the deadly bacteria. Also, if the aliens were "allergic" to us, why would they have used us as fertilizer? That would be like a human farmer dusting his crops with ricin, or using an "unknown substance" that may or may not be toxic.

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
A stupid movie it is. Save your money you must., 5 November 2005
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I bought the DVD because it was star wars and i at least expected to be entertained.

The opening sequence is wonderful. Lots of violence and fun. I like the big battle scenes. 10/10 so far.

I have a problem with the droid army. Firstly, they are a force of evil in the universe. Why do they sound "cute"? Why does the droid general have a cough? Did his CPU catch a virus? How did these metallic morons conquer anything? Why do they Run away? Who would build an army of undisciplined droids? An army of IG units or assassin droids would be more effective. Also, the people from "Galaxy Quest" might get mad for stealing their "Sarris" Character. Watch the sequence where Grievous is fighting with Obi-wan and then watch Galaxy quest, you'll see what i mean. The quote "You fool" pretty well sums it up.

Anyways, not such a big problem. The film now goes onto "C-SPAN in space" and shows some romance and character development.

Then along comes the battle on the wookie planet! Oh boy, finally some violence! Imagine, action in an action film. It's over in 3 minutes and boy did it suck.

At the wookie battle, i am tempted to mail the DVD to lucasfilm asking for my money back. The object of this movie, or of any movie, is to suspend my disbelief and make me think that what i am watching is real, or at least has the possibility of being real. When a wookie gives out a Tarzan cheer, that blows it completely out of the water. The production staff might have thought it was "funny" or the scene needed comic relief. It shows disrespect for the setting of the movies and for the fans. Do you think Return of the king should have had a tarzan cheer in the big "elephant" fight? Besides the tarzan bit, it has been established in decades of writing, computer games, and other official Lucasfilm products that the wookie planet Kashyyk is covered in huge trees that are kilometers high. You cannot see the ground. We see a couple of puny trees on a beach.

The violence in the film is tensionless and dull. The politics is dull. The movie is dull. I understand the need for politics in this film but if you're going to be that serious you need to get rid of the cute droid army, the tarzan yell, and all that other crap.

This film was a waste of my time and money.

I came back and reduced my score to a 1 because i see a lot of people posting the same block of text and adding a 10/10 rating to it. That is just pathetic.

Twice Dead (1988)
1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Tear out your eyes before watching this abomination, 23 August 2005
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie is so horrid it is hard to put into words.

It starts off okay, introduces the characters and sets up the situation. A family moves into a house that is haunted. Duran Duran has turned to the dark side and formed a biker gang.

The weirdest biker falls in love with the family's daughter (Jill Whitlow). I don't blame him.

After this, the movie starts to disintegrate. The couple leaves their children alone in the house for some reason.

The daughter goes out alone, at night, wearing lingerie and yelling "Meow" to attract her cat. The brother gets beaten up very badly trying to rescue her when the bikers get her. He is so badly beaten he can't stand and has trouble breathing, yet there doesn't appear to be a mark on his body.

After this the parents leave the kids alone.

The bikers invade and try to kill everything. At this point, the film gets the look and feel of a troma film.

After the killing, the surviving biker girl comes up and is now best friends with everyone. She provides the missing pieces of the plot.

Infested (2002)
4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Missable, 17 August 2005
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I am terrified of maggots. In a movie about killer flies, i expected to see at least one.

Nope.

I kept hoping to see a body burst apart into millions of squirming white worms.

Nope.

I did see the "zombies" dancing to the "Da Da Da" song. It is one of the things you can't unsee.

Avoid this movie. Avoid it like the plague. The only thing that could be called "horror" would be the acting.

The special effects are indeed special, but not in a good way.


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